Just got back from Popeye's
28 2017-11-26 by DeepDickedHillybilly
I just ate some fried chicken. The breasts were juicy, and the buns were soft and warm. Afterwards, the division manager of Popeyes came up to my table and asked me how the meal was. I said I was satisfied, but the meal lacked a certain je ne sais quoi. He apologized profusely, and said he had something to show me that would make up for it.
He lead me to the back of the popeyes, to a room soaked from floor to ceiling in blood. In the center of it was a live horse, chained by all four legs to the structural supports of the warehouse like room. As I watched, employees of the popeyes cut large sections from the horse, which was whinneying and screaming in horror, the remaining sections of its body covered with festering sores and a froth of sweat.
The popeyes employees took the chunks of horseflesh and sliced them into pieces, then they rooted around through the bags of trash strewn around the room to find discarded chicken bones.
They quickly tenderized the meat with sledgehammers and fed it into a machine which formed the horsemeat around the bones, then they breaded and deepfried it.
I asked the division manager why he had led me back to this place, and he pointed at the steed's rump, the diseased asshole puckering rythmically with terror, squirting pus with each convulsion. "We're just about to use that section, would you like a crack at it first?" I quickly unzipped my pants and wasted no time jamming my erect penis into the stallion's defenseless asshole. With each thrust, I donkey punched the horse in the back of the head, making it clench its ass even tighter. I came just as the horse died. I was delighted. Popeyes definitely went the extra mile to make me a satisfied customer
24 comments
1 starship_litterbox 2017-11-26
You misunderstand satire. There has to be a connection with reality. Let me revise this for you:
See how much better it is when it has parallels to reality?
1 XhotwheelsloverX 2017-11-26
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=3ylLetmV6zU
1 Matues49 2017-11-26
According to some vegan facebook friends, this is exactly how all meat is made irl.
1 IslamicStatePatriot 2017-11-26
no wonder it tastes so divine
1 saltytrannyballz 2017-11-26
Found the Basketball-American
1 Cake_eater666 2017-11-26
Re-posting old cuckchan copypasta on leddit?
Good goy.
1 JesusIsQueen 2017-11-26
!RemindMe 1 day Let me know if /U/DeepDickedHillyBilly could of gotten more pleasure out of that horse or if killing it counts for the mayocide. By the way I am sad to say that this website need more bots rights though this post definitely Needs more jpeg!
1 WikiTextBot 2017-11-26
Internet bot
An Internet bot, also known as web robot, WWW robot or simply bot, is a software application that runs automated tasks (scripts) over the Internet. Typically, bots perform tasks that are both simple and structurally repetitive, at a much higher rate than would be possible for a human alone. The largest use of bots is in web spidering (web crawler), in which an automated script fetches, analyzes and files information from web servers at many times the speed of a human. More than half of all web traffic is made up of bots.
[ PM | Exclude me | Exclude from subreddit | FAQ / Information | Source | Donate ] Downvote to remove | v0.28
1 JesusIsQueen 2017-11-26
!remindme 2 days wtf stop harassing me! seriously!
1 RemindMeBot 2017-11-26
I will be messaging you on 2017-11-26 05:51:05 UTC to remind you of this link.
CLICK THIS LINK rights though this post definitely Needs more jpeg! ) to send a PM to also be reminded and to reduce spam.
Parent commenter can delete this message to hide from others.
1 WikiTextBot 2017-11-26
Internet bot
An Internet bot, also known as web robot, WWW robot or simply bot, is a software application that runs automated tasks (scripts) over the Internet. Typically, bots perform tasks that are both simple and structurally repetitive, at a much higher rate than would be possible for a human alone. The largest use of bots is in web spidering (web crawler), in which an automated script fetches, analyzes and files information from web servers at many times the speed of a human. More than half of all web traffic is made up of bots.
[ PM | Exclude me | Exclude from subreddit | FAQ / Information | Source | Donate ] Downvote to remove | v0.28
1 Mayo_Macerator 2017-11-26
FOR THE LOVE OF BUSSY, GET THIS KIND HUMAN SOME 🍞 BREAD!
THAT'S 66 MAYOS SPLATTERED ON SANDWICHES, 66 STEPS CLOSER TO COMPLETE MAYOCIDE!
At this rate, the white race will be finished in no time! DO YOUR PART, FOLKS!
1 shallowm 2017-11-26
What?
Never mind, I figured it out:
I wonder where that came from?
1 WikiTextBot 2017-11-26
Internet bot
An Internet bot, also known as web robot, WWW robot or simply bot, is a software application that runs automated tasks (scripts) over the Internet. Typically, bots perform tasks that are both simple and structurally repetitive, at a much higher rate than would be possible for a human alone. The largest use of bots is in web spidering (web crawler), in which an automated script fetches, analyzes and files information from web servers at many times the speed of a human. More than half of all web traffic is made up of bots.
[ PM | Exclude me | Exclude from subreddit | FAQ / Information | Source | Donate ] Downvote to remove | v0.28
1 Mayo_Macerator 2017-11-26
FOR THE LOVE OF BUSSY, GET THIS KIND HUMAN SOME 🍞 BREAD!
THAT'S 68 MAYOS SPLATTERED ON SANDWICHES, 68 STEPS CLOSER TO COMPLETE MAYOCIDE!
At this rate, the white race will be finished in no time! DO YOUR PART, FOLKS!
1 DuBBle 2017-11-26
!redditsilver
1 RedditSilverRobot 2017-11-26
Here's your Reddit Silver, JesusIsQueen!
/u/JesusIsQueen has received silver 1 time. (given by /u/DuBBle) info
1 backltrack 2017-11-26
How long are you? How can you even donkey punch a horse from behind?
1 Tar_alcaran 2017-11-26
It takes real dedication.
1 MooseHeckler 2017-11-26
I take it, the chicken was not kickin?
1 RaiserOfHell 2017-11-26
I took your mom into a backroom about the square centimeter of perhaps the size of your cock. She whinnied after seeing my 2 cm dick. She feverishly put it into her asshole. So I fucked her warm cave until she was done. She greased her body across my bar and then her opened her mouth in which I I pissed in. GG OP. This is a drunk post due to alcholism GG normies.
1 OniTan 2017-11-26
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NLyAjavXL1M
1 a_normal_human 2017-11-26
This is what you get for eating basketball american food.
1 snallygaster 2017-11-26
a classic
where did you find this out of curiosity?
1 DeepDickedHillybilly 2017-11-26
I think I first stumbled upon it on Adequacy back in the early 2000s. I actually did eat Popeye's, and I can't eat at Popeye's without thinking about this, so I decided to share it with you.
About the funniest thing in the world to me is saying that Popeye's is missing a certain je ne sais quoi. That is a beautifully poetic line as far as I'm concerned.
1 snallygaster 2017-11-26
It's one of the reasons why I wish I could eat at Popeye's, but sadly there are few opportunities