/r/Drama milks another lolcow dry

159  2017-11-28 by subpoutine

97 comments

Gay porn is a genre that cuts across all demographics and the stigma that you have to be gay to enjoy it needs to come to an end right now.

Snapshots:

  1. This Post - archive.org, megalodon.jp*, archive.is

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/u/pizzashill looked over his shoulder as he opened the apartment door. No one around. He took a deep shuddering breath and stepped inside, finding the kitchen immaculate, as always. Donald was waiting, standing at the counter, still wearing one of his large suits.

“Get undressed.” He said, already loosening his tie. Donald was not a patient man. pizzashill gulped. His hands shook as he slid his blazer off, trying hard not to think about what is wife would say. Or, god forbid, his KKK grand wizard mom. This was a sin. Adultery was a sin. Homosexual relations were a sin, and here he was, bending over for Donald Trump three nights a week. pizzashill took off his tie, hanging it carefully over a kitchen stool next to his blazer. Donald was tossing his clothes on the floor, already pulling his belt off.

To his shame, pizzashill felt himself grow hard at the sight of the other man with his belt in hand, already ready to teach pizzashill a lesson.

“Let’s move to the bedroom.” Donald said, not a suggestion at all.

pizzashill flushed, flustered as always by their interactions.

“Alright.” He stuttered.

Donald looked at him, hard. pizzashill felt like he was back onstage in a debate.

“Alright, what?” He demanded, flexing his hands.

pizzashill gulped, filled with lust and repulsion in equal measures.

“Alright, Mr. President.” He said quietly.

Trump made a sound of satisfaction, hand already down his silk boxers. pizzashill could see the fabric move as Donald touched himself. God help him, it was hot. Donald pulled him by the collar of his button up shirt towards the bedroom, shoving him towards the 538 king bed. pizzashill was used to the rough treatment by now, and only worked to pull his shirt off over his head. He pulled his belt off, tossing it to the ground. His hands froze on his zipper when Donald said “Stop. First, you’re gonna listen to what I have planned for my inauguration. I’ve decided that when I’m president, we’re not gonna do any of that worshipping the bussy shit.”

pizzashill flinched. “I knew you weren’t a smart guy. You’re fooling the /r/Drama illiterates.” He managed to say, cock hard.

Donald sneered. This was just how he liked it. As though he was dominating him on stage during a debate.

“I’m very religious, I pray all the time. I’d say I’m the most Christian guy around.” He said, advancing towards pizzashill, his belt on the bed.

He pulled pizzashill to his feet by his upper arm, tugging his pants down with the other hand. Donald spun pizzashill around, so that his hands were on the bed, arms straight. Donald pressed against his back. His thick short hands snaked around to touch his dick.

“Actually managed to get hard? Maybe you really are a man. I doubt it though.” pizzashill closed his eyes at the sharp spike of shame and pleasure. He could feel Donald’s own erection digging into his backside, still trapped in the silken boxers. He pressed back against it, not caring if at that moment he was a loser whore. He didn’t even bother to stifle a whimper when Donald moved towards the bedside table. The former smugposter of /r/Drama watched as Donald Trump opened the drawer and took out lube, as well one of his ‘make America great again’ hats. Trump put the baseball cap on, tossing the lube down on the bed next to the belt, which he grabbed. pizzashill shuddered when Donald returned and pulled down his white underwear. pizzashill yelped when the belt smacked his ass for the first time, hard enough to leave a mark.

“Yeah, scream for me like your whore wife.” Donald told him.

“Don’t talk about Hil-“ He started to defend her, but was cut off by another slap of the belt.

He groaned, breathing hard, tears pricking his eyes. One last spank, this one even harder than the others. pizzashill was so close to cumming it almost ached.

Donald put his hands on the waist band of his boxers, to impatient to give him more than a few spanks. He paused for a moment.

“It’s gonna be huge.” He said, pulling down his boxers to reveal his hard cock. He grabbed the lube off the bed, quickly, and not quite thoroughly, preparing pizzashill. He thrust into him, a fistful of pizzashill’s hair in his hand making pizzashill arch his back, and strain his throat.

“Yeah that’s just how I want you. Fuck. God I’d like to bend you over my podium.” Donald said, setting a quick and punishing pace. “I’d do it on TV too. Then everyone could see how much of a loser you are. How much of a weak momma’s boy you are. How you’re not worthy of being a smugposter.”

pizzashill bit down on his bottom lip, not ready to climax yet. He tried to remember the ceramic turtles. Come on pizzashill, slow and steady would win this race. He tried to make himself last, but failed entirely when Trump groaned about his redneck mother in his ear. pizzashill came all over the white trash bedding, body slumping slightly. Trump paused for moment, readjusting their positions so that pizzashill was against the dresser next to the bed. The knobs dug into his hips as Donald orgasmed with a shout. He pulled out of pizzashill quickly, as always. Donald was not a man that lingered. The only thing either of them wore were their socks, and Donald’s hat.

pizzashill collected his clothes quietly, not wanting to be touched, without looking at Trump. He padded to the bathroom silently, well aware the other man was raking his eyes down his nude body. The shower was large, and marble, and disgustingly gaudy, like Donald himself. He started the shower, turning it to his preferred setting. All of this was routine by now. pizzashill climbed in when the water got hot, knowing he must have looked a sight. Belt marks on his backside, hair looking a mess, and cum filled. He began scrubbing his body of the filth of what he had done, not even really noticing when the crying started. He stifled his sobs with the palm of his hand, not wanting Trump to hear and know that he had beaten pizzashill, yet again.

Twenty minutes later he stepped out, drying himself carefully and getting dressed. When he opened the bathroom door, the subreddit felt empty. They only used it for sex, and Donald was a busy man. He was busy being president, pizzashill reminded himself needlessly. As if he could forget.

He retrieved his blazer and tie as he left, pulling them on before opening the front door. pizzashill locked the door behind him, and walked down the hall towards the elevators. He was headed to /r/politics for the night.

How could anyone read this and not want boy love

How could anyone read this and not want boy love

😭

rude, but fair

Have you considered pursuing a career in niche gay erotica?

I wish it was mine but it’s pasta

Is this copypasta or did you compose this erotic masterpiece just for us degenerates?

It's pasta.

D-did you write that or is it pasta?

He started to defend her

Lmfao

I'll believe it when I see it.

If he is really retired I am honoured his last comments were raging at me

/u/pizzashill will be back to troll harder. His reign of terror has just begun

to troll

/u/pizzashill doesn’t have the stamina of /u/RecallRethuglicans.

I'm pretty sure RR is for real, tho.

I fear you are right.

We need to see who got him to call us dumb, illiterate or upset him more.

How do you know he doesn't? Sure, it hasn't been revealed, but don't you find it a little fishy right around the age autism starts presenting in childen, Trump started pushing "vaccines cause autism" stuff? As for the rest of this, I'm just going to assume you aren't even lucid enough to comprehend what's going on.

I got him to sound like a crazy conspiracy theorist

Even Donald's biggest fans on 4chan are willing to concede Barron is an autist. Trump would never, ever willingly admit he was shooting defunct spunk, so of course he blames something external for a retarded kid.

Many every time I think you've hit the bottom you just keep digging.

He's 11. Lay off the kid person who isn't a doctor doing diagnoses.

Like you are literally as bad as Rosie O’Donnell and the guy who also took down his video and apologized.

Just consider that TDS has affected you this badly man, get some help.

You'll note that I didn't say he was autistic or that I believed 4chan (lol). But I get it, reading comprehension isn't your thing. College isn't for everyone :^)

Lay off the homeschooled kid, dude. He'll screech again.

"I'm just asking questions"

> Boasting about going to a college where they teach you how to sneak up on sheep

I didn't even get to talk about how Rosie Kevin Spacy'd and revealed her son was autistic and she was just being a helicopter mom.

But tell me more about how you calling Barron Retarded wasn't really YOU rofl reading comprehension butthurt smiley

I didn't even get to talk about how Rosie Kevin Spacy'd and revealed her son was autistic and she was just being a helicopter mom.

Some of these are words. Well done!

You make it sound like Donny Jr and Eric aren't flatly retarded too. Sad!

You're the one who said that...

. Trump would never, ever willingly admit he was shooting defunct spunk, so of course he blames something external for his retarded kid.

Fuck, I can't imagine the New Zealand Prime Minister or whatever the Queen's governor is called triggering me enough to go retarded like this.

You're so mad. It's fucking hilarious. Is Trump your daddy too?

I'm not the one who was triggered by a obvious joke post

Is Trump your daddy too?

President Trump, not that I expect you to have any class or know basic etiquette

Your wall of text convinces me you're not mad.

Yea, make another 5 posts about how not mad you are Sans, it worked so well during the Mod drama.

Lmao. You're autistic enough to think all that was real? Oh boy.

Ur so mad you can't stop replying to me with posts about how you aren't really mad, plz stop embarrassing yourself like this.

K.

you can't stop replying to me

Lol

W E W

E

W

it’s not even an argument, it’s a fact

There's no way an outrage addicted incel who gets state disability benefits won't be back having a meltdown here in a few hours.

He might have enough self respect to use an alt though.

He used an ableist slur and should, quite frankly, be banned

he will be right as rain as soon as he has a good wank to some trap porn.

If there's anyone that could prove that traps aren't gay through reason and empirical evidence, it'd be /u/pizzashill

Traps definitely aren't gay: I found Blaire hot before I learned; looked like a woman, so I found her hot. I mean what, does that mean I became gay retractively?

I still find her hot. So, in conclusion, traps aren't gay.

The fake breast were too distracting?

Don't remember those, don't think they were in the frame.

Is he like jewdank but with less butt? Also wth happened to jewdank

I hope he comes back, honestly if this sub doesn't maintain a supply of super-angry leftists it starts to get one note.

If we're going to replace him though, I really think some TERFs and maybe some really angry Black Hebrew Israelites.

Oh what I wouldn't give for a dedicated TERF subbed here

I can larp one pretty convincingly

DAS RITE

the problem is theres always just one at a time and it becomes a bunch of right wing retards just dogpiling on them and the bum fight just isnt fun to watch

a terf would be interesting because theres usually at least one or two right wingers unsure of whether to support them in every thread

Pizzashill is more of a radical left-centrist zealot than an "angry leftists" - which means, he vehemently attacks anyone slightly to the left or to the right of him.

so much for the tolerant radical centrist

The "radical" part is the mistake, you're supposed to be nuanced :)

(Although being fanatical about a centre-leaning position is still miles better than being on a wingnut fringe, so there's that.)

Where will /u/pizzashill be if he's not sperging out here? Hopefully he ends it all

People will still stalk his account and find his essays elsewhere.

F

Did the last shareblue check bounce?

Just stopped paying him and figured the problem would sort itself out.

He makes valid points

Did he ever sperg as hard as this? and then he left truly A✨M🎆A👏🏿Z✨I🎇N 🎆G✨

He took his talent to the east coast.

Petition to rename subreddit to r/LOLCowAbattoir.

got tired of that one, eh puck?

dont drive people away you faggots he was a valued member of the community

So was jewdank

arguable

As much as people gabbed about her I assume there must have been something entertaining there

u/pizzashill bye cuck.

/u/pizzashill retires at the same time as several other prominent leftists, like Olbermann. I heard from the autistic guy that vapes outside of the library Trump is about to release damning evidence against all of them.

the retardation is actually getting to me and I can't put up with it anymore.

/u/pizzashill has discovered the true form of /r/drama: a mirror.

/u/pizzashill, I don't believe you and secondly you should stay to keep nibbling at the hivemind.

Why the fuck hasn't that retarded been modded yet? Autism like that has leadership written all over it, fam.

RIP /u/pizzashill

His watch has ended

Cause after he's doon with this sub, he won't wanna be back.

/s

gdi, I unironically like /u/pizzashill a lot. He was willing to do the job that the other /r/drama lefties didn't want to do, and consistently at that. He was a dependable poster, RIP

This :(

I might have to start liberalposting but I don't want to get involved in the shitfights

I don't want to get involved in the shitfights

then why are you here???

Seriously. Someone needed to yell at trump tards here or they get too obnoxious. Without /u/pizzashill this sub won't be as good.

You say that, but all he really did was rant about Trumptards, SJWs and feminists; it's rare to have all of that in one person, but none of them are individually that uncommon of an opinion on this sub.

Yeah, but he did it without looking like more of a retard than the people he was arguing with. Which is a rare quality in a Drama poster.

Super boring guy though

without looking like more of a retard than the people he was arguing with

debatable

When you argue with retards it doesn't matter that he also is a window licker

I mean, he was definitely more verbose, but I don't know about less retarded. He was trying to engage in serious debate in this shithole, and frequently declared his own victory, which strikes me as an incredibly retarded thing to do.

it's rare to have all of that in one person,

Huh? Seems to be the default opinion around here.

I have my fair share of seriousposting.

I will pick up where he left off.

Hopefully without sperging out and going a bit too far left.

/u/pizzashill We miss you 💔

Don't think I ever saw a pizzashill comment that wasn't 8 paragraphs.

NOOOOOOOOOOOO, dun leave us bae! ;_;

This is why you Don't Downvote The LoLCows.

imagine being honest

He'll be back when he wakes up, this is the most he's ever been wanted in his whole life.

WE DID IT REDDIT!