Man with over 300 confirmed deployments in the Agency fantasizes about being important in starterpacks

68  2017-12-04 by ragnathorn

31 comments

Um, you forgot a period. Perhaps you'll have your first period next year.

Snapshots:

  1. This Post - archive.org, megalodon.jp*, archive.is

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Woah, u/malphitemain is a legitimate nutter.

He is posting pasta from /r/bestofguzman

There's more drama in that thread but I don't get paid enough to post more links

zoz

zle

zozzle

/u/ragnathorn you were saying

/u/ragnathorn I think that’s zoz’s way of telling you to post the fucking links.

Lmao I remember that pasta

u/malphitemain, you if you left boot camp thats desertion and you'd going to prison. They would never leave you alone until they caught you but your just a liar so its all good.

🎺🎺

(. )( .) Ԅ(≖‿≖ԅ)

THE agency saw how awesome and stealthily his escape was from the drills that they offered him employment.

It's all top secret though so he can't talk about it!

He's in so deep he is still working for THE Agency and he doesn't even know it smh

/u/MalphiteMain

Can you please explain?

" IF THEY ARE BROWN SHOOT EM DOWN". Basic was fun.

I told them that I REFUSED to kill innocent people of color

🤔

I think the second was supposed to be copypasta or an attempt at parody.

The second line is from a copypasta. How do you guys not realise that he's meming?

Nerd

You showed your cards too early. You're supposed to double down, not make it obvious.

not even gonna thank me for my service before you fuck me?

A better service would be to post bussy.

/u/MalphiteMain were you in the army or the Marines? Or maybe the Call of Duty platoon. Your story isn't very good.

The agency, kiddo.

He said his code name was mr.clean

REEEEEEE WHY ARE THOSE SOLDIERS KILLING BROWN PEOPLE ABLOOOOOOOO

Quiet, fatty.

Ummmmmm first off it’s genetic second off there’s literally nothing wrong with being 5’8 and 290 pounds it’s average weight 😡😤😤

The agency

GET THIS HOT HEAD OUTTA HERE

Was he on the flight plan?

Someone should warn him he doesn't get to bring friends.

You're a big guy.

As soon as I saw how truly evil and depraved /r/Drama was, I GOT THE FUCK OUT. I went straight to the Mods and told them I didn't want to be part of their right wing terrorist organization. I told them that I REFUSED to kink shame innocent people of color, and take part in unjustified brigades. The Mods responded by tying me up and beating my with their bull whips for ten minutes straight. They told me that I wasn't unsubscribing and that if I ever tried to speak up against their hate and bigotry again, they would downvote me. I took matters into my own hands, and jumped out the window at night while my parents were asleep. This was the basement, and fortunately I landed in some mayonnaise. I ran the fuck away from the laptop I was at, and have not returned to this day. Every Time any redditer expresses admiration for bussy, I fucking VOMIT. I was in for long enough to see that /r/Drama is a white supremacist terrorist organization, just as bad as r/coontown.

The Agency? Is that for guys who couldn't get into The Shop?

it is eternally hilarious to me that there are meatheads out there that think full metal jacket is pro-military

Ate the bait