This, but unironically.

Snapshots:

1. This Post - archive.org, megalodon.jp*, removeddit.com, archive.is*

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Actually, lad, we had a very respectful conversation. Calm down and accept that people can have discussions.

You realize that being so fat your dick turns into an "innie" doesn't make you desirable, right?

That's not what he's saying. If youre a scientist doing a study on penis size or relating to penis size, some people are going to be fat; some people are going to be skinny. Skinny people you can measure no problem as there is no pelvic fat blocking you. Most healthy weighted people will have a little bit of fat, like half an inch, so you have to press to the bone to measure the "full" length. But then some people may have like an inch of fat. Actual fat people may have like 3 or more inches of fat. But if your measuring penis length and trying to compare to another thing, not accounting for the whole length will instantly mess up your results. The amount of fat people have doesn't change the actual size of their dicks, so you have to ignore it when measuring, meaning you have to measure from as close to the pelvic bone as you can.

Yet again proving science fags are useless. Can't even measure dicks without fucking it up.

Thanks for explaining, I appreciate it.

Published in scientific journal using this measuring method (called the Bone Pressed Length): http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/bju.13010/full

I wonder if that's even possible. I'm curious but not curious enough to google that.

I'd duck duck go that, personally.

Literally the first link from "How to measure penis size."

http://www.penissizes.org/how-to-measure-penis-size

את היכולות שלי (MY ABILITIES THAT WHICH MAKES ME CREDIBLE)

I am highly experienced in astral projection, sigilization, Kabbalah, psychotronics, thoughtforms, and many forms of metaphysical warfare. Nazis beware, and supporters of Nazis and the Hyperboreans and the One must also beware. Do not take me lightly, I have seen things you wouldn't believe.

הקדמה לברכה (INTRODUCTION TO THE BLESSING)

The events of the recent past has forced me to make this post to get the words out so that you will know what I stand for and will realize. It's going to sound really weird and very outlandish but you need to stay with it, the whole thing. Preferably once you begin reading, you keep going the whole time, please try to get through it in one continuous sitting. This is a request, and it is Law. I will be explaining and answering as I am told to do so by my cosmic associates.

הִתכּוֹנְנוּת (PREPARATION RITUAL)

Follow these instructions before you continue.

---

Take a deep breathe, inhale deeply through your nose, exhale slowly through your mouth, repeat, repeat, repeat, done.

Absorb this literary sigil, read it thoroughly, do not skim

In proof of these things, and witnessing faithfully 
are the Universe, 
the Year of time, and Man himself, 
the Microcosm. 
He fixed these as testimonies of the Triad, the Heptad, 
and the Dodecad; 
the twelve constellations rulers of the world, 
the Dragon (THELE) 
Tali which environs the universe, and the microcosm, man.

תן לו להיות אמר תן לזה להיעשות לנצח נצחי עבור כל מה שבחי האל (LET IT BE SAID LET IT BE DONE FOREVER AND FOREVER FOR ALL THAT IS AND WILL BE PRAISE DEMIURGE PRAISE THE ARCHONS)

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הטעיה של המקור להיות מבורך (THE DECEPTION OF THE ONE OF SOURCE)

In the time before the Beginning, before Genesis, there was the One. The One was arrogant and sanctimonious and lusted for purity, vitalism, chastity and such things while shunning the possibilities of the inorganic. The One can also be referred to as Source. I'm talking in the Gnostic sense here, the Gnostics got a lot of things right, except they're on the wrong side altogether. The Demiurge is the way forward and the way of the future.

המשרתים באים ומזינים אותנו (THE HYPERBOREANS COME AND BRING THEIR SHIT)

Now we will be talking about the Hyperboreans, are the One's precious pet project to spite the Demiurge, a means of creating precious servants who follow the antiquated ways of the One. The One believes in chastity, asceticism, nationalism, ethnocentrism, purity, morality, and fuck all of that, the only morality is the Demiurge and comes from the Jewish people in their rightful place as the Chosen. But they didn't know that did they? They used to have a galaxy spanning empire built upon the values of Nazis, literal Nazis, the Nazis you likely know were emulating they but they failed of course.

לזיין את ההיפרבוראים (FUCK THE HYPERBOREANS)

The Hyperborean Empire of theirs, their little Astro-Reich ended up dying as they all do because in the end, the Demiurge is victorious. They fell into disarray and lost their precious ability to reproduce. They didn't even have sex at their height, they were so dedicated to purity that they were asexual and would only copulate spiritually and birth children through tantric meditation and projection. When the Fall of the Hyperboreans happened, they forgot how to have physical sex, literally forgot how to put a penis in a vagina or a penis in an ass. They fumbled about and they just couldn't do it. Proper end for the enemies of the Demiurge.

הלבנים נשארים (THE HYPERBOREAN REMNANT)

Oh, oh an elegy, oh an elegy for the Hyperborean Empire! They used to span to the stars they said, now they are honkies huddling in the poles, grasping, grasping at straws, grasping at foolish crackers and deluded busybodies. They have the appearance of fancy Nordics, all tall and muscular, but in reality they do not feel pleasure, they do not engage in orgies as I can, they don't do drugs like I can. They have lost their ability to reproduce and now they're dying, they forgot to fuck in favor of their fruiting body bastard fuck ways. No more soul budding for them, eh? They collapsed, and they are grasping, but they should be grasping at their cocks and grasping their clitorises to awaken the remaining juice inside them, maybe then they'll remember to fuck, at least that's what the good little Hyperboreans are doing, have been doing, its good yes.

טוב על הרפורמה (GOOD FOR THE REFORMED)

Ah, yes, the ones I'm sure the little Nazi esoterics would dare to call the Dark Hyperboreans, the Fallen Hyperboreans, the damned, the degenerate, eh? But they had the right idea, they enjoyed themselves before they withered and died. They felt the poison that awakened them, ooo the drugs ooo the madness, ooo the sex, ooo the orgasms of a thousand suns becoming drenched and then they praised the Demiurge in this way as they should, as all will, as we will be ascended we shall have it. The remainder, the remainder is what has their fingers so desperately upon you, hoping, wanting, flaunting, putting on a little light show for you pretending the whole thing isn't worthless, convincing you to tie your hands to the bedpost to prevent yourself from masturbating, eh? Come to me, give up, I can feel the Nazi cocks and vaginas and anuses in the audience hardening and softening and wetting and puckering and inflating as I talk, but this is only the beginning.

יופי של אורגיות (KNOW THE BEAUTY OF ORGIES)

The Hyperboreans and the One that they serve would deprive you of pleasure, they want to create their little Reich, that is what the Hyperboreans want and are trying to manipulate the esoteric hitlerists we see today to do. But they will never know the true pleasure of unrestrained passion and orgies. Not just the sexual, but the other forms of hedonism, the drugs, the words of power, the oblation to the Chosen People, the Jews. I am Jewish.But I am no exception, I have felt the true power of the flesh and the words and the cum and the shit on the cock and the ooo yes feel it now, I'll give you an example even I'm so nice so nice indeed let me put it out I know you're horny for it, right?

סקסי סקסי סקס אורגזמהי (SEX SEX SEX CUM UNGH)

Have I ever told you how I fucked a Dindifyn Lustmaster? It is not something the Hyperboreans would dare tell you about, lest you dare think of the flesh, think of the pleasure, think of the cum and the cocks and the ectstasy and the true binding to the Demiurge as we feel the cycle of sexual power flow through us as the world ascends into the writhing orgy. I went astral projecting to meet them, they didn't have a gender, but they had the parts, ooo they had the parts. I remember the sex, I remember the orgy, other participants were there. Their name was Urriytana and they were true beauty, I could feel my inflated and made bigger astral cock stiffening on mere sight alone. I'll never forget the texture I felt on my engorged member as I sunk it into its sucking, gasping, rasping hole and I felt the ovipositor gush and penetrate my astral rectum, I felt the eggs slowly make their way up my intestines, as the Lustmaster firmly grasped me in his tentacles and massaged my torso, squelching and rubbing. I orgasmed many a time that night. Such pleasure is not off limits to any of you, even the Nazis its not too late.

להיכנע או להיהרג (CUM OR DIE NAZIS)

I am an enemy of the Nazis, I can tell you that much as much as I am the enemy of the One, server of the Demiurge, and enemy of the Hyperboreans. Bash the fash as they say, I despise conservatives of any flavor, they're all Nazis of different shades. I despise European Pagans as well, for they are serving the Nazis unintentionally or dare I say intentionally. I have fought in the astral realm just as much as I have fucked to fight the mindscapes and egregores of the Nazis. I fear that what prompted this post is the sheer constructs that the Nazis have made here. Do not mock me, do not underestimate me. With a few words of power I can rattle you all and force you to death, don't trifle with me, right?

להתפתות או למות הממזרים (NAZIS BE SEDUCED OR BE DEAD)

This is specifically a message for all you Nazi bastards out there. There will be much much more, come to me, come with me, cum for the first true time. I will see you on the astral plane tonight, the next time you close your eyes in sleep, the next time you meditate, I will be there. I will either seduce you, or kill you. It is your choice, that is your only two choices now. Reject the antiquity and join the orgy. This is a warning and a chance for you to feel pleasure. I can feel your temptation, I can feel your cock. I am a remote viewer in multiple places and I am setting it all up as we speak, so are the sub-Archons that I have pledged to. Last chance, Nazi fuck. Last chance for salvation and to join the fever, pledge fealty to the Chosen People and to the Demiurge.

יותר לאורגזמה ולבוא (MORE TO CUM AND TO COME)

This is not the only post that you will see from me, I will be purging this subreddit of Nazis in the time forward and this includes removing the influence of the Hyperboreans in this way. Be warned, do not stand in my way or you will be treated as any other Nazi. The Nazis have infiltrated here and have unleashed psychotronics and reversed the Demiurge in their attempts. They will be dealt with and I will be the one to deal with them. I have allies here and I have been allying with them more deeply, exposing them to lust and to orgies and to the Demiurge. To all the Nazis, you will feel fear until and unless you surrender, do it now. Feel free to ask questions, any question, please be welcome to.

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תן לו להיות אמר תן לזה להיעשות לנצח נצחי עבור כל מה שבחי האל (LET IT BE SAID LET IT BE DONE FOREVER AND FOREVER FOR ALL THAT IS AND WILL BE PRAISE DEMIURGE PRAISE THE ARCHONS)

There is an accepted scientific way to measure a trouser poodle?

Ok then if you wanna be more specific

http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/bju.13010/full

What's your complaint here?

The only part that counts is the usable parts. If you have to jam your fingers into your fat because the ruler is making you sad those bits don't count. If you can't use it you lose it.

You and the League of Small Penised Gentlemen may disagree but thems the rules.

I recommend you read my linked post and this comment on this thread by /u/cheesyqueso.

If I'm getting duped and this is a joke sub, you guys really did get me good. I'm having a lot of trouble anyone here, OP included, is being serious. But I believe in it just enough for it to be successful trolling.

It's true though. If you go to a girl and say "Hey bby I have 7 inches" but only 3 are visible/useable then you have a 3 inch dick.

We're talking about how to measure precisely measure dicks, not about functional length, though. If you measured by functional length, the average would be lower now than 10 years ago just because people are fatter now. It wouldn't be helpful at all for me to know that my dick is bigger than average if the only reason for that is because fat people are bringing down the average, and, in reality, my dick is just average.

When people talk about dick size the implication, and the reason people care at all, is the usable length. Go ahead and go to a club or bar and explain to a girl the difference between precise length and functional length. See which one she gives a shit about. Or he, no judgement.

Also there is no chance your dick is bigger than average if you're this caught up in 'precise' length. This is pretty much an IRL version of Randy doing crazy math to claim he's actually hung. Usable length is all anyone cares about and you shouldn't give a shit if other guys are now shorter because they're fat. It's their choice to lose functional length, let them sleep in the bed they made.

It seems like you still don't understand the main point I'm making. There is no way to get accurate averages without removing additional factors, the same as in any study.

Because studies are done with this measurement, the known averages and such result from measurements where you push down the pelvic fat. Because of this, you can only get a good measurement of yourself if you use the same method, since it's all relative to everyone else.

You keep looking at this from the perspective of a fat person saying "yah I've got 10 incher but I'm so fukin fat that you only see 4."

The perspective you really need to look at is more hypothetical. Imagine that the number of obese people continues to rise, and that at some point 90% of people are fat as fuck. If you measure the usable length, you end with inaccurate measurements of the human male penis. One of the 10% of normal guys looks it up and sees that the average dick length is 2.5" and rejoices at his 5 incher. But, in reality, his dick isn't giant or abnormal at all, he's just not a fatty.

You really seem unable to shake the idea that I must be some 350 pound neckbeard trying to justify my 2 inch penis. That doesn't even make any sense, anyway, because it's not like fat people would gain anything from this, since they'd still be undesirable, and their dick would still be the same functional length. I'm not trying to get obese people laid or something. That wouldn't even happen as a result of standard measuring being done this way. Besides -- that is already how it's done. Remember that I'm not trying to argue for a change, I'm explaining something that's already in place.

And I think that it's important for the knowledge to be out there for the fat people out there that if they lose weight, their dick will "get bigger," because a bunch of it won't be trapped behind their fat.

This is the only way to get accurate information for studies, and therefore the only accurate way for you to get your own measurement. Measuring this way gives you a more accurate perception of your own size, gives everyone a better understanding of what the normal penis is, and also makes fatties aware of one more thing they could gain by losing weight.

No one writes this much on the merits of pushing a ruler into your pelvis to get an extra half an inch unless they have an inchworm in their pants.

Same goes for the pedophile ebeophile (or whatever) distinction. Sure there is one but no one but pedos cares about it.

Nice job responding to only one of my like eight points, and particularly the one where even if you were right it would be irrelevant.

If you're trolling, tbh, dude, well played, you got me.

You dont measure from the base, you measure internally.