MRW

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ok PIMM

more like

POOP

MOD /u/BENICEBITCH RIGHT THE FUCK NOW!

Does that mean I get to be a mod? I don't think I can handle that responsibility. I'd like to thank vargas for the inspiration though.

Top mod /u/HodortheDoorHolder will appoint you as a mod in just a matter of minutes. Isn't that right?

One of the other mods can do it. I'm busy atm.

turned my mouth into a vomit cannon

so you squirted all over the couch, eh?

Fuck, circlebroke made me chuckle. Gonna go keep myself safe.

K, it's dry, and that's how she clearly wants it. So I shove that fucker in there

Yeah, that's not happening...Enemas and supps take a fair amount of lubricant no matter the person so I feel like this guy's finger isn't going in completely dry or anything.

You'd be surprised what a girl will allow in the moment.

You'd be surprised what a girl will ask for in the moment. I have never wanted to do this before or since, but she asked in a way that made me feel like a special princess.

Pretty much my experience. Was with a long time really close friend and she was just going crazy with me. The highlight of it all was her looking at me and saying, "just spit and put it in."

My eyes nearly popped out of my head.

Lmfao I stick my fingers in "dry" errytime

Yeah, that's not happening...Enemas and supps take a fair amount of lubricant no matter the person so I feel like this guy's finger isn't going in completely dry or anything.

As someone who habitually uses dildos I can say without a shadow of a doubt that this person is retarded, and lube is for faggots who want wet buttcheeks

It was written with purposeful vulgarity and it's disgusting.

u/cocaine-mountain you sound like you're as much fun to fuck as a bucket of lukewarm dishwater tbqhwyfimho

Until you get him cocaine!

do you fuckers actually think the term "lady trench" is funny?

his story sounds like a fucking 16 year old telling his friends how he TOTALLY banged ur MILF mom last night!! also it has that extra reddit flair where he adds a bunch of dumbass catchphrases in the hope one of them will stick

When do we say ZOOP now? I'll help you make it stick! ZOOP!

I thought lady trench was pretty silly actually. Shit Spitter was my favorite, but I had fun with the different variations of herpes.

I'll admit, the tone wasn't that clear...at the beginning I was using adolescent Victorian euphemisms and I devolved in to really cheesy ones later.

I prefer "meat socket"

Imagine being a circlebroker who angrily clutches pearls over low effort sex jokes.

Edit 4: The critics respond!!!

Check out this thread for a bunch of people who don't get satire, or just don't find mine very amusing. https://www.reddit.com/r/circlebroke2/comments/7hswng/sex/

For anyone reading this, warning, it is satire. I've used the silliest words I can think of, identified my characters motivation in the most cliche, uninformed, immature way possible, for my own amusement and for yours. What you are about to read includes the phrase turd cutter, and if that doesn't make you giggle, turn back now. You've been warned.

u/hotcrossblonde how dare these ruffians be vulgar about sex, it's so.... uncouth

KINKSHAMERS WILL BE BANNED FROM /r/CONSERVATIVE

That feel when you will never be someone who posts in /r/circlebroke2

Everyday, a blessing.

That story is shit that never happened.txt

Nothing gets past this guy.