My boyfriend and I have been dating for 4 years now. Things have been going wonderfully. I have zero complaints, and I think he would say the same.
He works as a paralegal, and is planning to go to law school within the next year or two. I'm in grad school getting a master's in public health, and am not currently working. Neither of his parents are wealthy. They're middle class just like my family.
We live separately but we spend pretty much every night with each other, splitting time between his place and mine.
Anyhow, two nights ago he was sleeping over and I accidentally picked up his phone thinking it was mine (This is a frequent occurrence. We have the same plain black phone case). I opened it up and the Wells Fargo app was open. I didn't think much of it since I use that app frequently myself. Then I saw the account balances. It was clear I was looking at his phone, and that he has wayyyyyy more money than I ever would have imagined. He has 6 different accounts with wells Fargo, totalling close to 50 million dollars.
I was absolutely floored. Since I've known him, my bf has been extremely cheap. He drives a 2006 Toyota. It's beat to hell. I'm always asking him why he doesn't get it fixed, or why he doesn't buy something new, and he just says he doesn't want to spend the money.
He hasn't bought a single new piece of clothing since we met four years ago, despite his clothes being extremely worn and dated looking. When I asked him why he didn't do a little shopping I got the same response. He didn't want to spend the money .
He will wear a pair of shoes until they literally fall apart on him. Like, this past summer he walked around in a pair of running shoes that had multiple holes in them. He reluctantly bought a new pair when his toes went busting through the ends while he was running. Even then he bought a pair off the sale rack that cost him like 40$.
His house is a disaster, but he won't hire anyone to come fix it. He takes care of the maintenance on his own, but because he's busy with work it's really slow going.
None of these things bothered me a bit when I thought he was making 50k a year. I get trying to cut costs and being frugal when you're not making that much money. But now that I know he's actually crazy wealthy, these things are really bugging me.
It's also making it hard for me to trust him. If he's able to hide the fact that he's super wealthy, what else is he capable of hiding from me? I feel like he's lied about who he is from the beginning. I feel like I don't even really know him now.
Am I overreacting here? Is my lack of trust in him justified? Also, am I being unreasonable in feeling bothered by the fact that he's so damn cheap?
I'm honestly thinking about ending things with him over this, which really sucks because as I said, our relationship has been wonderful up to this point. Uugh.
Thanks in advance for your replies.
TL:DR - I found out my boyfriend has been hiding his wealth from me and I'm having a hard time trusting him now.
7 comments
1 SnapshillBot 2017-12-06
Buzzword is, itself, a buzzword now.
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1 PhysicsIsMyMistress 2017-12-06
OP's post:
My boyfriend and I have been dating for 4 years now. Things have been going wonderfully. I have zero complaints, and I think he would say the same.
He works as a paralegal, and is planning to go to law school within the next year or two. I'm in grad school getting a master's in public health, and am not currently working. Neither of his parents are wealthy. They're middle class just like my family.
We live separately but we spend pretty much every night with each other, splitting time between his place and mine.
Anyhow, two nights ago he was sleeping over and I accidentally picked up his phone thinking it was mine (This is a frequent occurrence. We have the same plain black phone case). I opened it up and the Wells Fargo app was open. I didn't think much of it since I use that app frequently myself. Then I saw the account balances. It was clear I was looking at his phone, and that he has wayyyyyy more money than I ever would have imagined. He has 6 different accounts with wells Fargo, totalling close to 50 million dollars.
I was absolutely floored. Since I've known him, my bf has been extremely cheap. He drives a 2006 Toyota. It's beat to hell. I'm always asking him why he doesn't get it fixed, or why he doesn't buy something new, and he just says he doesn't want to spend the money.
He hasn't bought a single new piece of clothing since we met four years ago, despite his clothes being extremely worn and dated looking. When I asked him why he didn't do a little shopping I got the same response. He didn't want to spend the money .
He will wear a pair of shoes until they literally fall apart on him. Like, this past summer he walked around in a pair of running shoes that had multiple holes in them. He reluctantly bought a new pair when his toes went busting through the ends while he was running. Even then he bought a pair off the sale rack that cost him like 40$.
His house is a disaster, but he won't hire anyone to come fix it. He takes care of the maintenance on his own, but because he's busy with work it's really slow going.
None of these things bothered me a bit when I thought he was making 50k a year. I get trying to cut costs and being frugal when you're not making that much money. But now that I know he's actually crazy wealthy, these things are really bugging me.
It's also making it hard for me to trust him. If he's able to hide the fact that he's super wealthy, what else is he capable of hiding from me? I feel like he's lied about who he is from the beginning. I feel like I don't even really know him now.
Am I overreacting here? Is my lack of trust in him justified? Also, am I being unreasonable in feeling bothered by the fact that he's so damn cheap?
I'm honestly thinking about ending things with him over this, which really sucks because as I said, our relationship has been wonderful up to this point. Uugh.
Thanks in advance for your replies.
TL:DR - I found out my boyfriend has been hiding his wealth from me and I'm having a hard time trusting him now.
1 SperglockHolmes 2017-12-06
This is why bussy>gussy.
1 neveryousay3 2017-12-06
Wait, gay version of a golddigger does not exist?
1 nmx179 2017-12-06
I feel like I've read this same r/relationships fakepost before, or something very similar to it
1 JumbledFun 2017-12-06
Pim this is so obviously fake that even the idiots in /r/relationships are calling the person out
1 PhysicsIsMyMistress 2017-12-06
It's drama.
1 JumbledFun 2017-12-06
no u