My story: My love affair with Nick ruined by the treacherous Jessica

91 2017-12-21 by OnionBits

Hello,

Irl my name is Tito, and I was one of Nick's workers. I started working there around 2011, enthusastic to start working for such a great company. After all, craft vinyl is the oldest vinyl dealing institution on the internet, so why would I not want to start working there?

Full disclosure, I am an illegal migrant. I crossed the boarder in '06, feeling violence and death threats from El Norte.

Anyway, Nick really took me in. He paid me a decent wage, helped me find housing, the works. I was so greatful.

Nick and I had a... special relationship. Lets just say he loved mexican food. We spent 12 hour days working hard at the office together, our bond truly as strong as our most durable vinyal sheeting.

Jessica, however, was not pleased on my hiring. She was incredibly racist against me, she hated what she called "beaners". When Nick wasn't around, she would throw pinto beans at me and make me scream papa roach songs at the top of my lungs. But one day, Jessica took it too far.

Deep in the vinyl factor, we have an "adult" vinyl section. She instructed the other workers to make a giant, 3 foot long dildo. Fearing the wrath of the racist (and fat) Jessica, they did as she commanded.

Nick left one week in August, 2013 for a buisness trip. He was a billionaire, so he was invited to some meetings with rothchilds and some twins named bogdanov or somthing.

The day he left, Jessica defiled me with the dildo. It was terrible, no lube, just straight vinyl. She had the other employees watch as she pegged me, instructing them to blast mariachi music and throw pinto beans at me as I was brutalized. This went on for four hours.

After that she called ICE and i was deported back to Mexico, where I type this story now.

I haven't been able to talk to Nick since, and I miss him dearly.

Please, please help me get justice. Contact the district attorney of Virginia to get Jessica locked up so Nick can come live with me.

God bless

60 comments

1 ObsessedAussie 2017-12-21

this is legit. source: am the 3 foot dildo in question

(ps jessica raped me)

1 OnionBits 2017-12-21

One thing that I have learned from this WOKE sub is that we should always believe the victims of rape, and this case is no different.

We are both victims.

1 _Petronius 2017-12-21

No justice, no peace

1 OnionBits 2017-12-21

They've got me face down in the middle of the street

1 giroth 2017-12-21

Jessica's not a male feminist though

1 OnlyRacistOnReddit 2017-12-21

Not all rapists are male feminists, but all male feminists are rapists.

1 wazzupnerds 2017-12-21

u/CraftyGirlJessica you should be ashamed you stupid mayo

1 OnionBits 2017-12-21

Please don't bring her here, I'm afraid 😨

1 TruthPains 2017-12-21

You must be brave and face your assaulter; it is the only way you may find peace.

1 OnionBits 2017-12-21

The only thing that will bring me peace is mayocide

1 TruthPains 2017-12-21

What about a side of mayo?

1 OnlyRacistOnReddit 2017-12-21

I think that's a good compromise.

1 CraftyGirlJessica 2017-12-21

ENOUGH CYBER BULLYING, I'VE MOVED ON TO THE CRAFT VINYL MESSAGE BOARD

1 OnlyRacistOnReddit 2017-12-21

You'll be back, they all come back.

1 TruthPains 2017-12-21

I can't quit you.

1 Strawberry-Whorecake 2017-12-21

Who whines about bullying? Pansy snowflakes who think they’re special.

1 The_Rick_Sanchez 2017-12-21

For someone that bitched about "snowflakes" having "safe spaces" you sure are a hypocrite

1 CaptainNeeMoNoy 2017-12-21

I'm so sorry that this happened to you. Jessica clearly suffers from toxic caucasianity, just like a typical Crumpf supporter, and saw you (a POC) as a target to vent her hatred of minorities.

1 OnionBits 2017-12-21

I can't even live in Northern Mexico anymore for fear of seeing Mayos. I live in a sewer deep in Mexico City to ensure I'm only around POC to avoid triggering my post dramatic mayo disorder

1 PM-ME-YOUR-UNDERARMS 2017-12-21

This is serious. Mods can we report this to the police

1 OnionBits 2017-12-21

I've already contacted the DA of Virginia, but they won't help me because I'm illegal :(

1 NationalismIsFun 2017-12-21

The district attorney...of Virginia?

You clearly have an extra chromosome. You have to go back.

1 OnionBits 2017-12-21

Go back where, you faggot? This is reddit

Go back to /pol/

1 NationalismIsFun 2017-12-21

First of all how dare you

1 Minimum_T-Giraff 2017-12-21

Another good love destroyed by White women with fetish for vinyl.

1 ComedicSans 2017-12-21

user reports:
1: I haven't read the sub in the past 24 hours. What the fuck is going on?

/r/drama is all ogre now.

1 Honk4Tits 2017-12-21

Yeah ive been avoiding i because its sucked for 36 hours straight, u/ed_butteredtoast hasn't honked me for two days.

1 Stuntman119 2017-12-21

I want /u/Ed_Butteredtoast to honk me

1 Ed_ButteredToast 2017-12-21

🙅

1 Stuntman119 2017-12-21

You should be a mod.

1 Ed_ButteredToast 2017-12-21

/u/snallygaster this man is sexually harassing me!! 😡

1 Stuntman119 2017-12-21

Hey you're that famous guy from /r/Drama?

1 Ed_ButteredToast 2017-12-21

🎺🎺

(. )( .) Ԅ(≖‿≖ԅ)

Omgggggg 2 days really? 😅 Things have been hectic lately so yeah. lol

1 Tagesausbruch 2017-12-21

Nice meme

1 Ed_ButteredToast 2017-12-21

Newfag

1 Stuntman119 2017-12-21

▲

▲▲

1 ComedicSans 2017-12-21

Do not worry, friendo. /r/Drama is a Sanctuary Subreddit.

1 shallowm 2017-12-21

I heard you were banned once for posting private information that was false anyway, is that true? What happened?

1 ComedicSans 2017-12-21

Ha, it was even more ridiculous than that. A regular poster pretended to out me in a obvious shitpost self-post, claiming that I lived at a set of GPS coordinates somewhere in North Korea (so, you know, hardly going identify an individual).

I stickied a comment saying that it was all horribly, horribly true and that everything he said was correct, especially the bit about murdering hookers (or something equally ridiculous).

He got banned for posting the GPS coordinates of Pyongyang because apparently that is doxxing, and I got banned for supposedly being doxxed (and agreeing with it).

Fucked if I know how that works lol.

1 shallowm 2017-12-21

Wow, that's insane. How'd you get them to unban you? Did they realize how ridiculous the North Korea thing was?

Also, were you /u/ThatKiwiLayer?

1 ComedicSans 2017-12-21

I messaged them and pointed out all the ridiculous aspects. It took them a week to get around to it.

No, he was a mere law student at the time, which is why he had time to shitpost. I imagine he is now working 18 hour days as a junior somewhere, the poor bastard.

1 giroth 2017-12-21

You took your one chance to get out and you threw it away

Drama has given us all Stockholm Syndrome :(

1 IvankaTrumpIsMyWaifu 2017-12-21

LOL that's about as funny as the time I got a 3 day suspension for reporting doxxing to the admins

1 thesnakeinthegarden 2017-12-21

My friend in high school once wrote "I like crack." on my book bag. The dean of discipline saw it and suspended me. You know, for liking crack.

true story.

yours is dumber.

1 pichael_thompsonn 2017-12-21

Well I mean black people DO like crack, so I can see why he disciplined you.

REEEEEEEEEEEE

1 thesnakeinthegarden 2017-12-21

jeezus crist. Do you spend time coming up with these zingers or do you just read them off r/goingtohellforthis and write them, verbatim, at random?

'Cause it works for you. You're the carlos mencia of drama.

1 pichael_thompsonn 2017-12-21

Aren't blacks supposed to be good at "roasting" people? I mean come on man your comebacks are tasteless and unoriginal. But then again nigs aren't known to be very intelligent so I wouldn't expect anything more than this.

1 thesnakeinthegarden 2017-12-21

you ever see those videos on worldstar where the two white kids are squaring up and they're calling each other 'nigga'? you're dumber than that. You're dumber than worldstar-stupid. you're fantasizes-about-tila-tequila stupid. You're rather be carlos-mencia-than-dave-chappelle-stupid.

I'm not roasting you. I'm insulting you. you're roasting yourself by being a cartoon version of david duke. you say nigger, every other sentence because you think its shocking or insulting, but it just makes it look like you've got shame issues with bbc. people aren't making fun of you because you're racist. no one here is triggered by the strong language.

also, you neckbearded spergtard, you cum crusted sock of rottentoothed hick, i'm not black. You needle-cocked soyboy larper, you. (no offense u/pizzashill)

1 pichael_thompsonn 2017-12-21

Lol triggered

1 FuckMeBernie 2017-12-21

....what?

1 AreYouDeaf 2017-12-21

MY STORY: MY LOVE AFFAIR WITH NICK RUINED BY THE TREACHEROUS JESSICA

HELLO,

IRL MY NAME IS TITO, AND I WAS ONE OF NICK'S WORKERS. I STARTED WORKING THERE AROUND 2011, ENTHUSASTIC TO START WORKING FOR SUCH A GREAT COMPANY. AFTER ALL, CRAFT VINYL IS THE OLDEST VINYL DEALING INSTITUTION ON THE INTERNET, SO WHY WOULD I NOT WANT TO START WORKING THERE?

FULL DISCLOSURE, I AM AN ILLEGAL MIGRANT. I CROSSED THE BOARDER IN '06, FEELING VIOLENCE AND DEATH THREATS FROM EL NORTE.

ANYWAY, NICK REALLY TOOK ME IN. HE PAID ME A DECENT WAGE, HELPED ME FIND HOUSING, THE WORKS. I WAS SO GREATFUL.

NICK AND I HAD A... SPECIAL RELATIONSHIP. LETS JUST SAY HE LOVED MEXICAN FOOD. WE SPENT 12 HOUR DAYS WORKING HARD AT THE OFFICE TOGETHER, OUR BOND TRULY AS STRONG AS OUR MOST DURABLE VINYAL SHEETING.

JESSICA, HOWEVER, WAS NOT PLEASED ON MY HIRING. SHE WAS INCREDIBLY RACIST AGAINST ME, SHE HATED WHAT SHE CALLED "BEANERS". WHEN NICK WASN'T AROUND, SHE WOULD THROW PINTO BEANS AT ME AND MAKE ME SCREAM PAPA ROACH SONGS AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS. BUT ONE DAY, JESSICA TOOK IT TOO FAR.

DEEP IN THE VINYL FACTOR, WE HAVE AN "ADULT" VINYL SECTION. SHE INSTRUCTED THE OTHER WORKERS TO MAKE A GIANT, 3 FOOT LONG DILDO. FEARING THE WRATH OF THE RACIST (AND FAT) JESSICA, THEY DID AS SHE COMMANDED.

NICK LEFT ONE WEEK IN AUGUST, 2013 FOR A BUISNESS TRIP. HE WAS A BILLIONAIRE, SO HE WAS INVITED TO SOME MEETINGS WITH ROTHCHILDS AND SOME TWINS NAMED BOGDANOV OR SOMTHING.

THE DAY HE LEFT, JESSICA DEFILED ME WITH THE DILDO. IT WAS TERRIBLE, NO LUBE, JUST STRAIGHT VINYL. SHE HAD THE OTHER EMPLOYEES WATCH AS SHE PEGGED ME, INSTRUCTING THEM TO BLAST MARIACHI MUSIC AND THROW PINTO BEANS AT ME AS I WAS BRUTALIZED. THIS WENT ON FOR FOUR HOURS.

AFTER THAT SHE CALLED ICE AND I WAS DEPORTED BACK TO MEXICO, WHERE I TYPE THIS STORY NOW.

I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO TALK TO NICK SINCE, AND I MISS HIM DEARLY.

PLEASE, PLEASE HELP ME GET JUSTICE. CONTACT THE DISTRICT ATTORNEY OF VIRGINIA TO GET JESSICA LOCKED UP SO NICK CAN COME LIVE WITH ME.

GOD BLESS

1 FuckMeBernie 2017-12-21

Thanks. Why didn’t they just say that before?

1 CraftyGirlJessica 2017-12-21