Lmao imagine being so humorless that not only do you not understand certain types of humor, but you actively seek and destroy humor elsewhere that you don't understand. src
We all know that that shiny coon didn't butcher his coal burner, his son did and OJ covered for him. Really out of character for those types but it's obvious.
You know when I woke up this morning I was feeling very optimistic. I was well rested. The sun was shining and the blue jays spun a delightful cacophony (an oxymoron in aware).
As I climbed out of bed and made my way over to my Tom morelloTM acoustic guitar I thought, "maybe this is the day someone finds a cure for cancer, or maybe world hunger. Maybe this is the day that absolute faggot Edward doesn't post some dumb shit on my comments." Euphoria washed over me as basked in the golden light, strumming soft and pleasing cords.
Finished, I put down my Tom MorelloTM guitar and pulled it my phone to pass the time on my favorite subreddit. As my eyes glanced over the replies section I felt my heart drop into my stomach. There in bold letters was the name u/Ed_butteredtoast . My hands shook with dread as I was hit by a wave of fear and loathing. "Why? Why me?What did I do to pull the attention of llamas most cold hearted and malicious commenter?" Yes, I had stolen my wife's boyfriend's son's finger paints yesterday, but it was for a good cause. The resistance needed those supplies. Besides I already prayed to Karl Marx for forgiveness and said a hundred "Fuck white people"s. No, this most disheartening happenstance was undeserved.
With one trembling finger I gingerly touched the rectangle area signifying a reply on my android (iPhones are for sheeple). Under that blasted username lied one single line, coated in blue. A link? The longer I looked the more impatient I became. It seemed to call to me in a deadly manner, as If saying both "come closer" and "stay far away" in the same breath. A dreadful curiosity struck me and and with bated breath I jabbed the link with my vegan fingers.
A GIF! I watched in horror as some disease ridden skank shoved an entire stick of butter down the cock highway she calls a throat. Holding back the bile creeping up into my esophagus I had a moment of clarity and acceptance. The world is not just. It is not fair. Starving peasants will die of hunger every day. Children will still get cancer. Donald Trump will still be president (not my president though) And u/Ed_butteredtoast will always leave some scandalous, retarded ass reply to my perfectly reasonably seriousposts.
The world is not just. The world is not fair. And it never will be.
10 comments
1 SnapshillBot 2017-12-21
Lmao imagine being so humorless that not only do you not understand certain types of humor, but you actively seek and destroy humor elsewhere that you don't understand. src
Snapshots:
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1 Chronicopia420 2017-12-21
It was pretty obvious ((#They)) got him off to protect ((their)) plan to push inter racial relations
1 Roger_Stone 2017-12-21
We all know that that shiny coon didn't butcher his coal burner, his son did and OJ covered for him. Really out of character for those types but it's obvious.
1 fucknazimodzzz 2017-12-21
Holy shit I just realized my balls are smooth af
1 Ed_ButteredToast 2017-12-21
Pics or gtfo ( ͡° ͜ʖ ) ͡°
1 fucknazimodzzz 2017-12-21
Edward pls butter my toast 😩
1 Ed_ButteredToast 2017-12-21
Want me to deepthroat your butter stick?
1 fucknazimodzzz 2017-12-21
You know when I woke up this morning I was feeling very optimistic. I was well rested. The sun was shining and the blue jays spun a delightful cacophony (an oxymoron in aware).
As I climbed out of bed and made my way over to my Tom morelloTM acoustic guitar I thought, "maybe this is the day someone finds a cure for cancer, or maybe world hunger. Maybe this is the day that absolute faggot Edward doesn't post some dumb shit on my comments." Euphoria washed over me as basked in the golden light, strumming soft and pleasing cords.
Finished, I put down my Tom MorelloTM guitar and pulled it my phone to pass the time on my favorite subreddit. As my eyes glanced over the replies section I felt my heart drop into my stomach. There in bold letters was the name u/Ed_butteredtoast . My hands shook with dread as I was hit by a wave of fear and loathing. "Why? Why me?What did I do to pull the attention of llamas most cold hearted and malicious commenter?" Yes, I had stolen my wife's boyfriend's son's finger paints yesterday, but it was for a good cause. The resistance needed those supplies. Besides I already prayed to Karl Marx for forgiveness and said a hundred "Fuck white people"s. No, this most disheartening happenstance was undeserved.
With one trembling finger I gingerly touched the rectangle area signifying a reply on my android (iPhones are for sheeple). Under that blasted username lied one single line, coated in blue. A link? The longer I looked the more impatient I became. It seemed to call to me in a deadly manner, as If saying both "come closer" and "stay far away" in the same breath. A dreadful curiosity struck me and and with bated breath I jabbed the link with my vegan fingers.
A GIF! I watched in horror as some disease ridden skank shoved an entire stick of butter down the cock highway she calls a throat. Holding back the bile creeping up into my esophagus I had a moment of clarity and acceptance. The world is not just. It is not fair. Starving peasants will die of hunger every day. Children will still get cancer. Donald Trump will still be president (not my president though) And u/Ed_butteredtoast will always leave some scandalous, retarded ass reply to my perfectly reasonably seriousposts.
The world is not just. The world is not fair. And it never will be.
1 Ed_ButteredToast 2017-12-21
I love you for this! 💞
1 fucknazimodzzz 2017-12-21
Thanks my dear Edward life is tough for us aspiring pasta chefs