This is why we need mayocide.

Snapshots:

1. This Post - archive.org, megalodon.jp*, removeddit.com, archive.is

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I just want to apologize in advance... my friend is stupid so this problem is stupid.

Anyway, I have a friend I've known since high school. Best way to describe him is a frat boy type who, for some reason, was obsessed with his penis. Not just staring at it and admiring obsessed with it, but was always proud at the fact that he wasn't circumcised.

He was one of those people who took great pride in his uncircumcised penis. He'd gloat to his guy friends about how he has more sensitivity when doing it (Supposedly, he read somewhere that men who are uncircumcised have 75% more feeling in the penis when getting it on) and how us unfortunate people that were circumcised were basically maimed and "missing out".

So anyway, I went over to his house earlier today and he's laughing and telling me about this one picture he found on 4chan. (I know... I know.) So I go and look at it and get kind of annoyed/worried that the picture he wanted to show me on 4chan was a penis. So our conversation basically goes something like this:

Me: What are you, gay? Why the heck would I want to see a penis. Him: Dude, look at it! It's deformed as hell! Me: What's wrong with it? Him: It's weird at the end! Look at it.

At this point, I was weirded out that my friend wanted me to look at penis on 4chan, but at least it wasn't ******* loli hentai so I humored him.

Me: It's normal. Just uncircumcised. Him: What the hell? They don't look like that. Me: Yes... they do. 

So we basically get into the gayest conversation ever and to make a long story short, he basically finds out that he actually is circumcised. Like the good friend that I am, I laugh and clown him for awhile but go home.

So about an hour ago, I get a call from his girlfriend at 2AM. She's screaming at me, cursing me, and telling me how I ruined my friends life. Apparently, after I left, this happened.

*Friend confronted and screamed at his Mom about how she could have circumcised him without permission. Mom kicked him out for the night.

*Comes to the girlfriend's house and cries for a few hours. 

*Girlfriend fears he might go into depression.

*He doesn't want to have sex anymore.

So apparently, I'm a horrible friend and she doesn't want me to talk to him again ever. I mean, WTF? I'm 22 years old, I'm too old to be dealing with stupid crap like this. And who the hell places this much pride in his uncircumcised penis? Seriously?

Brah, I love my uncircumcised penis. Let’s count the benefits:

*Keeps the grossed out gussy away *More likely to get infected with awesomeness *More likely to get STDs (pronounced studs, so that’s a good thing!) *Homeless and hungry? Just don’t wash for a few days and IT MAKES cheese! * When I absolutely have to pound that gussy it’s at risk of tearing and bleeding everywhere, so free excuse to hit the ER

I’m sure there’s more.

But seriously when I was in college I had an argument with my roommate on circ v uncirc. She was a med student and pulled a shittton of infor on it. Apparently yes, circ’ing does fuck up the nerves and a circd guy feels less. If you live in a third world shithole or like to camp a lot, likelihood of infection goes up. Unprotected bussy pounding plus not washing also increases chance of STDs.

Anyway I got bored of the argument, accepted defeat, and studied some anatomy with her. Good times.

Proving once and for all gussy can’t make up their minds.

This didn't need proof

•Homeless and hungry? Just don’t wash for a few days and IT MAKES cheese!

alright that's enough Internet for today

Someone never found out about hobo cheese huh?

Girls get it too. You just have to peel them lips apart like a gooey grilled cheese sandwich and feast upon that fresh Vulveeta.

DAE get genital-mutilation-shamed?

I am not circumcised, AMA and I MIGHT answer.

Do you feed it ants?

No.

How does it eat then?

Okay, someone NOT retarded ask a question please, I don't get paid enough for this.

Are you a Europoor?

We prefer "Eurorich" but you Amerimutts have referred to us as such, yes.

How many pebbles can you hide inside your foreskin?

What size are the pebbles?

The usual size. Half an inch or so.

While erect, or flaccid?

Whenever more fit.

IDK, probably like 1-2(flaccid), it would hurt like a bitch though.

Could you try it please and report back. 1 to 2 is a bit vague.

No. NEXT!

Okay. I heard all of Europe is converting to Islam. On a scale of 1 to 10, how painful will the first two weeks be after your circumcision?

Can't really be measured on a 1 to 10 scale, there is a difference between stepping on a needle and a headace, but I would honestly rather have the needle, for the headace is constant and makes me feel useless.

I know from pulling back my own foreskin that the initial pain(from touch) is roughly a 4, but that 4 is constant, and reappears everytime my dick touches something(like fabric).

Also, I though I said NEXT!

If you fell pain every time your dick touches something, then how do you enjoy sex?

I... I wouldn't know. 😢

Wait, whenever your dick touches something, you feel pain? That's pretty weird.

Do you mean when the glans touches something, or the whole dick/foreskin?

Do you walk around in constant pain/discomfort?

Talking about the glans. And also, no.

this AMA sucks

Dirty Europoor confirmed

This might be the wrong sub for that

That's how.

lol flayed amerifat peen confirmed

Shut the fuck up you peasant.

I'm gonna strangle you with my wonderful god-given foreskin

That's pretty hot tbh

Jew

dick labia.

???

I'm one of those rare super-jews with an intact shmeckle

Russian?

Ew no, potato muncher.

Slav? SERB??? Ew!!!!

I'm a goddamn gaelic god I told you this

Also gib back my modding abilities 😤

I left. Lol.

Lets make a new one, screw that cuck /u/shitpost953

hi

Wow, you got double fucked

Sea cucumbers are actually filter feeders

Uncut guy here too, do you think about how cut dudes walk around with their head rubbing up against their underwear which probably leaves them with a super dry head. I remember Patton "I killed my wife" Oswald made a joke about getting a chapped dick from walking on a treadmill. I never really got how that happened until i remember that cut guys have no protection.

Well, now I feel uncomfortable.

Ikr

I can't really tell if you're serious but are circ penises just permanently wet? I was under the impression that penises were supposed to be dry the majority of the time.

No, there not wet, just that its not suppose to be super dry. Just like eyes and lips, when your dick is super dry then maybe some "precum" comes out and lubricates the head under the foreskin to prevent it from getting damaged. IDK how a cut guy would deal with having the head of his dick all out there rubbing on things and getting dry and desensitized.

Huh, TIL. I've never had a problem with that.

tfw no automatic self-lubricating dick snuggie

What a poetic way with words

can we see a pic of it?

No.

Gay

Didn't know that Amazon sold Rabbis with scissors.

/u/TSwizzlesNipples confirmed as Obama fan and Democrat.

Bernie is an Obama Bro.

Too late.

If Bernie is an Obama Bro and you're a Bernie Bro, that means that you're also a bro of Obama. QED. Calculus final passed.

Second, you can argue that a woman's right to her body is more important than the life of the parasite (literal definition - a fetus can't survive without its host mother) in her belly.

You can REEEEEEEEE all you want but zygotes/embryos/fetuses are not classified as parasites. This is simply dehumanization and it's gross through and through. A mother's life can (and should) be given preference over a fetus without resorting to shit like this.

Just come up with better arguments. But if you still believe that then that's too bad you got to live and weren't aborted as a parasite. Parasites should be eliminated.

Second, you can argue that a woman's right to her body is more important than the life of the parasite (literal definition - a fetus can't survive without its host mother) in her belly.

/u/truecreed You can REEEEEEEEE all you want but zygotes/embryos/fetuses are not classified as parasites. This is simply dehumanization and it's gross through and through. A mother's life can (and should) be given preference over a fetus without resorting to shit like this.

Just come up with better arguments. But if you still believe that then that's too bad you got to live and weren't aborted as a parasite. Parasites should be eliminated.

/undrama

Other species kill their young all the time. If one child reduces the survival likelihood of other and future offspring, then from the selfish gene’s perspective, it is a parasite/threat/runt/whatever. Nature is metal.

/redrama

One should be able to abort their 2 year old

Up until the 180th trimester it's hardly murder.

If you ban it, you only produce an unregulated black market, if the kids want it enough, they’ll find a way to do it.

/u/Alastair789 did you read the article because that's exactly what happened and it's the reasoning they got removed from sale.

Fuck man I don't want to live in a world where Schlomo is giving back-alley circumcisions.

that's a kenm direct pasta btw

Thanks, Cow Chop!

Okay, wtf is a circumcision training kit?

Bottle of kosher vodka and a scalpel

Minillotine.

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Fucking bad bot

Go home and think about what you did

lol Amazon is still selling them here in America

/u/Aeternalis_

Friendly reminder that if you're okay with infant circumcision you're also okay with FGM

Friendly reminder that this post fits all criteria for an official diagnosis of autism.

/u/rndm_reddit_profile

Who is this Dr. Kellogg? Are you sure it was really popularized?

Ever seen this? Dr. Kellogg and his brother invented it.

From his book, Plain Facts for Old and Young:

In children, especially those who have recently acquired the habit, it can be broken up by admonishing them of its sinfulness, and portraying in vivid colors its terrible results, if the child is old enough to comprehend such admonitions. In addition to faithful warnings, the attention of the child should be fully occupied by work, study, or pleasant recreation. He should not be left alone at any time, lest he yield to temptation. Work is an excellent remedy; work that will really make him very tired, so that when he goes to bed he will have no disposition to defile himself. It is best to place such a child under the care of a faithful person of older years, whose special duty it shall be to watch him night and day until the habit is thoroughly overcome.

In younger children, with whom moral considerations will have no particular weight, other devices may be used. Bandaging the parts has been practiced with success. Tying the hands is also successful in some cases; but this will not always succeed, for they will often contrive to continue the habit in other ways, as by working the limbs, or lying upon the abdomen. Covering the organs with a cage has been practiced with entire success. A remedy which is almost always successful in small boys is circumcision, especially when there is any degree of phimosis. The operation should be performed by a surgeon without administering an anæsthetic, as the brief pain attending the operation will have a salutary effect upon the mind, especially if it be connected with the idea of punishment, as it may well be in some cases. The soreness which continues for several weeks interrupts the practice, and if it had not previously become too firmly fixed, it may be forgotten and not resumed. If any attempt is made to watch the child, he should be so carefully surrounded by vigilance that he cannot possibly transgress without detection. If he is only partially watched, he soon learns to elude observation, and thus the effect is only to make him cunning in his vice.

Anyone who thinks uncircumcised dicks look better is kidding themselves and low key bitter they didn't get a sculpted aesthetic penis like the rest of us.