EurasianTiger / longingfordeath Deleted post December/2017.

This is my absolute last post on this forum, ....

My opinion is that there simply is no solution.

There is no solution to biological inequality, where human beings simply do not find the Asian appearance physically appealing, on a male, for whatever reason.

A child's worth is not his race, and in the case of Eurasians, a child's worth is essentially how much he deviates from looking Asian. Asian-ness is a net negative, and is merely defined by how much a White man wants an Asian woman, that defines what it means to be Asian and part Asian.

The biggest pain in my life wasn't being Asian, it was being lied to that I had a chance on equal footing as whites, and since I was so close it hurt the most, and I think that will ultimately be the root behind a lot of extreme behavior of Hapas.

These are the only two things here, it's always white men - and putting hapa children in proximity to white maleness is completely unique to all other biracials.... and this will lead to some really disastrous results in general. The other thing is that Asianness will always be a uniform negative; "Asian" identity is specifically viewed now exclusively in and under the white male gaze. Anything else has been completely removed; "Asianness" is merely the sexual benefit to white males.

That's the difference. Asian guys don't chase down white women; some do, but most don't.

Frankly I don't want to live in a world where I am treated better because of I'm half white. I'd rather just not be born at all. I don't want to live in a world where I have to deny half of myself, constantly, and this half is my Asian half, no matter what, it will always be my Asian half. I've spent almost three decades, running and hiding and trying to feel like I belong somewhere and that I have a place to call home, and that feeling never came. It was a terrible mistake of me to ever try to find my "Asian side," because my Asian side will always betray me as much as my white side will; because both sides are white supremacists.

I feel sorry for my future children and have no idea what to tell them where they have to grow up in a world where men who look like them aren't even given a shot at experiencing something that I've experienced by virtue of looking more on the white side, and hiding it.

I could've easily been a "happy hapa," and just coasted by life on my looks, but living with my brother who is a 35 year old virgin who looks very, very Asian, just takes such an emotional toll on me that I don't think that this is a life I want to live. Maybe it is my guilt in me, for having a life better simply because of how I looked - and maybe this is what Asian moms really intend to do; create life with only one basis - to be better than it would have been with an Asian lover, and to be frank, if I had to choose between being born simply to have a "better life," then I'd rather never have been born at all.

I have heard "no Asian guys," before, and when this happened it just became such a source of pain to me, that I would be judged poorly on my race as not just a lover, but a friend and a human being, that I can never ever recover.

All I know is that I've suffered for being Asian, this suffering will never go away, and frankly I would rather have never been born, and to be even more frank there are many more Hapas on the way who will be victimized even more for their Asian looks; you cannot raise an entire generation of people on the basis that they NOT be something. You have to raise them on the basis that they can be whatever they want, but when Asian maleness (and yeah, femaleness) is a net negative, then that's a horrific way to live. It's almost like being Asian is merely a vessel for others to use, until you finally reach a "non-Asian" appearance / medium / average.

To be born mixed race, and realize that it's because of inequality that you exist, rather than despite it, is horrific, rather. It's bad, and most Hapas internalize this and externalize this in ways that aren't even properly understood. The extreme arrogance of the alt-right Hapas who hate us, and the desperation of the Hapas who post on /r/hapas, are two sides of the same coin.