When I was younger I was a fucking fiend for jerking off. 6 to 10 times a day was normal. I eventually got desensitized I think and I needed more. I started off trying to fuck my pillows, a mattress, a vcr slot. None of that worked and one left a scar.

Then one day I was eating a hot pocket. And it dawned on me. I let it cool to a warm but comfortable temperature, and fucked it. Amazing.

My mom was shocked at my sudden taste for hot pockets. The problem was I couldn’t eat them afterwards. So she thinks I’m eating two hot pockets for every meal of the day, meanwhile I’m starving, sneaking snacks out of the pantry at every opportunity.

It was an amazing summer. I spent every cent I got from mowing lawns on hot pockets. BBQ beef was the best because of its consistent texture.

Oh, I left out an important piece, I had to break them up afterwards and flush them down the toilet. So 8 times a day I was mashing up hot pockets filled with jizz into a soup like consistency and flushing it down the toilet, like some kind of psycho.

That was a long time ago and I’m over it, I have a fleshlight now anyways and it’s much cheaper to buy diced ham and cheez wiz in bulk

"This rapist looking fellow here."

That's slander. I'd be careful with your words.

I don't regret what I did at the DMV. They're a pointless bureaucracy that punishes hard working Americans who are just trying to thrive and keep their hard-earned money. Snowflakes act like I went into a post office and smacked a worker. NOT TRUE. I just sent a message to a branch of the government that gets away with treating people horribly, time and time again. Plus, I was all over the news for it. I became a media sensation. No one said anything bad about it until the BBB hoopla. People LOVE what I did at the DMV, it's just the snowflakes who use it as an excuse to deride me.

I stand by everything I've done. We're the best source for crafting vinyl online. PERIOD. Often imitated, never duplicated. If we weren't so successful, why would you hundreds of sad people be spending your whole night mocking us? Exactly. People want to tear down the companies that have done well and defend the companies that don't know how to make a single quarter.

Like I've said before, I make millions of dollars a year. I have an amazing staff and an amazing company. There's nothing I'd change. Meanwhile, you're a sad internet troll who just sits online making comments all day.

Australia is not real. It’s a hoax, made for us to believe that Britain moved over their criminals to someplace. In reality, all these criminals were loaded off the ships into the waters, drowning before they could see land ever again. It’s a coverup for one of the greatest mass murders in history, made by one of the most prominent empires. Australia does not exist. All things you call “proof” are actually well-fabricated lies and documents made by the leading governments of the world. Your Australian friends? They’re all actors and computer-generated personas, part of the plot to trick the world.If you think you’ve ever been to Australia, you’re terribly wrong. The plane pilots are all in on this, and have in all actuality only flown you to islands close nearby – or in some cases, parts of South America, where they have cleared space and hired actors to act out as real Australians. Australia is one of the biggest hoaxes ever created, and you have all been tricked. Join the movement today, and make it known that they have been deceived. Make it known, that this has all just been a cover-up. The things these “Australian” says to be doing, all these swear words and actions based on alcoholism, MDMA and bad decisions, are all ways to distract you from the ugly truth that is one of the greatest genocides in history. 162,000 people were said to have been transported to this imaginary land during a mere 80 years, and they are all long dead by now. They never reached that promised land. Tell the truth. Stand up for what is right. Make sure to spread the world – Australia is not real. It’s a codeword for the cold-blooded murder of more than a hundred thousand people, and it is not okay. We will not accept this.Stand up for the ones who died. Let it be known, that Australia does not exist.

Die Eier Von Satan

Eine halbe Tasse Staubzucker Ein Viertel Teelöffel Salz Eine Messerspitze türkisches Haschisch Ein halbes Pfund Butter Ein Teelöffel Vanillenzucker Ein halbes Pfund Mehl Einhundertfünfzig Gramm gemahlene Nüsse Ein wenig extra Staubzucker ... und keine Eier

In eine Schüssel geben Butter einrühren Gemahlene Nüsse zugeben und Den Teig verkneten

Augenballgroße Stücke vom Teig formen Im Staubzucker walzen und Sagt die Zauberwörter Simsalbimbamba Saladu Saladim

Auf ein gefettetes Backblech legen und Bei zweihundert Grad für fünfzehn Minuten backen und KEINE EIER

Bei zweihundert Grad für fünfzehn Minuten backen und Keine Eier ..