I am not sure which is more cringey, the litany of erroneous assumptions you splayed out or the act of calling upon the student archetype with the intent of derision. Anti-intellectualism, check. src
Being at a job that is almost entirely on the computer has motivated me to spend more time shitposting on Reddit. I am proud to say that I spend no more than 3 hours a day doing actual work.
Sadly a literal fedora-wearing neckbeard ruined working from home for everyone, so now I have to show up and actually act like I am doing work on occasion.
Sometimes when I'm at work, I look at /r/drama on the toilet. The problem is though, I slip into a mindset where I'm at home and let out particularly loud farts. In my small office, this can be embarrassing. So what I've done is started to make a conscious effort to fart before I turn my phone on. How do I keep them quiet, you might ask? I take two sheets of toilet paper, fold one over the other and then place my index finger on my right hand into the middle of the folded paper. I then fold the paper around my finger (I call it a teepee of TP) and then insert it about 1/2 to 3/4 of an inch into my asshole. The fart flows effortlessly around this paper contraption without a sound. If it's a particularly vigorous piece of gas and I'm holding my finger just right, my colon will expand to beyond the circumference of the toilet and the air pressure will keep my Teepee TP in a kind of suspended animation for the duration of my flatulence.
35 comments
1 SnapshillBot 2018-01-28
I am not sure which is more cringey, the litany of erroneous assumptions you splayed out or the act of calling upon the student archetype with the intent of derision. Anti-intellectualism, check. src
Snapshots:
I am a bot. (Info / Contact)
1 BloweyJoeyMumi 2018-01-28
Holy fuck. Im basically Trump.
BOW YAH SHITS
1 RichEvansSextape 2018-01-28
Let's see you pay a porn star to bang you after a pizza dinner, fraud man.
1 BloweyJoeyMumi 2018-01-28
Ive legit bought chinese for a hooker before. Not even kidding.
Checkmate libertarians
1 RichEvansSextape 2018-01-28
The fuck kinda entitled whores you hiring that you need to feed their asses?
Unless you were dumb enough to think you might have a romantic relationship with a hooker.
1 BloweyJoeyMumi 2018-01-28
Naw we partied all night and got hungry. She went "off the clock" and I ordered chinese and kept partying through the next day.
I totally forgot that happened until I write that earlier. It was a really fun encounter.
Chrissy, if youre reading this, your blow sucked. Hit me up if youre in town again.
1 Neronoah 2018-01-28
Is there any political ideology you won't checkmate?
1 spirit_blast 2018-01-28
Just because you use social media (🤮) in bed and a flight of stairs makes you wheeze does not mean you are basically Trump.
1 BloweyJoeyMumi 2018-01-28
But what if Im awesome and chicks love me?
Checkmate anarcho-capitalists
1 spirit_blast 2018-01-28
Then you would not be posting in /r/Drama.
1 BloweyJoeyMumi 2018-01-28
You cant be at parties or slaying pussy all the time
Checkmate mercantile imperialists
1 spirit_blast 2018-01-28
Sounds like you lack stamina. Sad.
1 BloweyJoeyMumi 2018-01-28
Cocaine helps...but its Sunday yah know.
We cant all be God Emperors. Only One was chosen. And only One shall reign.
Checkmate kakistocratic environmentalists
1 spirit_blast 2018-01-28
Disgusting.
Lips that touch drugs shall not touch mine.
1 BloweyJoeyMumi 2018-01-28
You sound cute. Want to cyber?
I swear I was joking about the whole hooker and cocaine stuff. Im really a jesuit student learning to lie.
1 spirit_blast 2018-01-28
Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
1 Rith2 2018-01-28
CAREFUL NOW BLOWEY
1 Neon_needles 2018-01-28
If you are not shit posting in bed, the toilet at work, or a bathtub you really are not living imo
1 Ed_ButteredToast 2018-01-28
☝️️☝️☝️
1 RichEvansSextape 2018-01-28
Fuck the toilet, you should be shitposting when you're working.
That's REAL communist rebellion!
1 Ed_ButteredToast 2018-01-28
😩💦💦💦
1 spirit_blast 2018-01-28
Being at a job that is almost entirely on the computer has motivated me to spend more time shitposting on Reddit. I am proud to say that I spend no more than 3 hours a day doing actual work.
1 CucksLoveTrump 2018-01-28
This is right and just. You should honestly Pump those numbers down
1 spirit_blast 2018-01-28
Sadly a literal fedora-wearing neckbeard ruined working from home for everyone, so now I have to show up and actually act like I am doing work on occasion.
1 htmlcoderexe 2018-01-28
I would appreciate if you shared the story of how said neckbeard did it.
1 jaredschaffer27 2018-01-28
Sometimes when I'm at work, I look at /r/drama on the toilet. The problem is though, I slip into a mindset where I'm at home and let out particularly loud farts. In my small office, this can be embarrassing. So what I've done is started to make a conscious effort to fart before I turn my phone on. How do I keep them quiet, you might ask? I take two sheets of toilet paper, fold one over the other and then place my index finger on my right hand into the middle of the folded paper. I then fold the paper around my finger (I call it a teepee of TP) and then insert it about 1/2 to 3/4 of an inch into my asshole. The fart flows effortlessly around this paper contraption without a sound. If it's a particularly vigorous piece of gas and I'm holding my finger just right, my colon will expand to beyond the circumference of the toilet and the air pressure will keep my Teepee TP in a kind of suspended animation for the duration of my flatulence.
1 high_side 2018-01-28
Nooo he does it from the gym #SwolePrez
1 scatmunchies 2018-01-28
Gotta build that girth #FatLife
1 spirit_blast 2018-01-28
That's what I like about this Trump guy: he is not afraid to say things how they are, even when he is in bed at 4am.
1 wwaalleess 2018-01-28
Out of all of the articles written to make Trump look bad, this has to be one of the laziest.
1 Starship_Litterbox_B 2018-01-28
Ten dollars says it wasn't written from bed tho
1 cunnus_maximus 2018-01-28
This was already confirmed in Michael Rosen's award-winning exposé, FIRE AND FURY
1 cunt_faced_retard 2018-01-28
Truly the man's man.
1 nanonan 2018-01-28
A suprise to literally nobody.
1 elsiedeez 2018-01-28
He really is just like the rest of us! But can't string together coherent sentences.
1 LSU_Coonass 2018-01-28
/r/drama wishes we could cause such mass pantshitting while lazing in our rooms
1 MG87 2018-01-28
No shit, what else is he gonna do? Fuck his wife? Thara what his body guard is for