Omg, you unironically live in Alabama. Kiss Your Sister.

Sorry we forgot the correct way of putting it:

Dey derk yer jerb! Now ferk yer sister!

Naw we all know Alabama is like that from top to bottom. At least you’re not porking your mom like some filthy Arkansas maggot.

Way to carefully skirt the active klan areas.

U ain't lying. I've lived in Montgomery, Phenix City and Madison. The first two are shitholes.

Is this an accurate representation?

https://youtu.be/c8hwZ3iNcHc

unironically live in Alabama

What does it mean to ironically live somewhere?

It definitely takes true commitment. I'm moving to Syria because Starbucks fucked up my order and I joked about it in front of postironic friends. I can't back out now 🤷🏽‍♀️

i want to wait until the vagrants are desperate enough to engage in sexual congress for breadsticks

I see that dicksmear is a man of high class and education.

Sexual congress with vagrants aside, I would like to learn more about his family life - specifically about his father:

my dad watched this because he liked to stare at the men’s crotches, seeking out those tightly packed sausages struggling to burst from their shiny prisons.

if you remove sexual congress with vagrants from my family life, there won’t be much less to discuss. however, i’d be happy to discuss any specifics with you if you’d like

Well for one thing, what brand and type of bread sticks are we talking about here?

it depends on the vagrant and the sexual act involved. there’s a matrix i use, but in summary:

oral shenanigans: frozen breadsticks, cold. no sauce

vaginal penetration: papa john’s, hot. served with marinara sauce

butt stuff: pizza hut, double order, piping hot. served with ranch. can also substitute breadsticks for cinnamon sticks.

butt stuff: pizza hut, double order, piping hot. served with ranch. can also substitute breadsticks for cinnamon sticks.

That sounds like a fair deal to me.

Really, you are providing a community service.

fairness is my middle name. Dicksmear Fairness Vagrantfuck

You belong here.

perhaps i’ll subscribe. lord knows the good people at r/huntsville haven’t been as receptive to my helpful commentary

Did you just link to one comment? Ffs

The birds in the video were better at drama smh