Hey! It's ok! Life is a bad joke anyway. Some people get lucky, some not so much and some get fucked through and through. There's no point in living a needlessly cruel life.
I would say that before selecting a day to end your life, try delaying it by three days and do some of the little things that make you happy. Maybe eat something you love or go somewhere in your town/city. Some place that makes you feel nostalgic for some reason. Maybe listen to some music you've always loved. My point? You have your whole life ahead of you now. So what if you spend just 3 days more. Do all or some of these things and think if you want to muster up the courage and somehow still want to live with the pain if you think the good in life that may come to you out weighs your problems.
If not? Enjoy your last 3 days. Don't feel shame in doing it though. The human body physiologically and psychologically is designed to resist the possibility of death in any way possible. It will be tough and your mind will be going crazy sometimes. Your subconscious is not gonna be your friend in these times if you truly want to end it.
It takes a lot of courage. It's not easy. But it might be even hard to live like in your case hence my point of not living a needlessly cruel life that you end up insane living it.
I sincerely hope you have something in life that you think is worth looking forward to. But if not and you have decided to end your life then that's ok too. We all will die. Some sooner than others. You won't have to suffer more. Hope there's an afterlife where you can live your dreams. Good luck mate!! Peace!!
P.S: Want someone to talk to? PM me anytime. I will be more than happy to talk. I mean it.
If the God i think exists and does care about us? Trust me. You won't be going to hell. Also don't worry about something that we have no control over. You don't go to hell for the way that you were born.
OR
Maybe God is a dick? If so then we're all fucked. At least you won't be alone no?
Stop worrying about this stuff. Think about the stuff you have control over. Please do what I said. Delay it by three days and do stuff, even the little things that you like. Personally I love looking at sunsets. There are spots around me where it's a really lovely sight. Find something that you like too. Maybe it will change you mind but it will surely give you some sort of happiness in your last few days.
I'm not religious but I can understand the concept of blind faith and "life is a test". You're EXACLTY what God would create in order to "test" the human morality.
It's like a litmus test. You can tell between people who are dicks/lack nuance and people who have nuance and are way more empathetic.
Our differences test us whether we act on our instincts which can lead to evil actions or that we invoke our "human" side and resist those urges.
Nobody in this life can ever convince that God hasn't wronged you by creating you (esp given your circumstances) since you never decided to take the test (or if you did, you certainly don't remember it which doesn't make a difference). Life is cruel. I have no idea how a God will justify this as he prides on calling himself 'just' all the time according to people and their books.
We'll see. But if you are a person who believes that God will abide by logical arguments then there is no way that you are guilty for the way that you are born. There was no free will in the case of selecting your sexual orientation.
I don't see you as a bad person. Actually, i see you infinitely more brave than me at lease because if I were you, i'd never would've told anyone this. Even on the Internet.
Why would a "loving" God "test" us anyway? What does he get from this "test"? Nobody can answer you that. Maybe there is a justification in the after life? There must be incase that God is "loving". I don't believe my words are comforting you (I hope it's not making it worse) but I'm saying what I have on my mind.
12 comments
1 SnapshillBot 2018-02-05
Promoting anarchofascism for 5 years and counting.
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1 AnnoysTheSoyboys 2018-02-05
You've done better.
1 suicidethrowaway358 2018-02-05
Why did you link my post here? In what way is my post drama?
1 AnnoysTheSoyboys 2018-02-05
Hey, I'm not here to judge. But many on reddit, especially r/drama, struggle with this same conundrum. Just giving this situation some more exposure.
For what it's worth, have you considered chemical castration?
1 suicidethrowaway358 2018-02-05
I'm still not clear on why you put this here. Are you saying there are a lot of pedophiles on this sub as well?
As for castration, yes I have considered it, but it would not change anything.
1 AnnoysTheSoyboys 2018-02-05
What wouldn't change? Of course it would, if you meet with your psychiatrist and take the medication as directed your chance of incidence is very low.
1 suicidethrowaway358 2018-02-05
I mean it wouldn't change my decision to commit suicide.
1 Ed__ButteredToast 2018-02-05
Hey! It's ok! Life is a bad joke anyway. Some people get lucky, some not so much and some get fucked through and through. There's no point in living a needlessly cruel life.
I would say that before selecting a day to end your life, try delaying it by three days and do some of the little things that make you happy. Maybe eat something you love or go somewhere in your town/city. Some place that makes you feel nostalgic for some reason. Maybe listen to some music you've always loved. My point? You have your whole life ahead of you now. So what if you spend just 3 days more. Do all or some of these things and think if you want to muster up the courage and somehow still want to live with the pain if you think the good in life that may come to you out weighs your problems.
If not? Enjoy your last 3 days. Don't feel shame in doing it though. The human body physiologically and psychologically is designed to resist the possibility of death in any way possible. It will be tough and your mind will be going crazy sometimes. Your subconscious is not gonna be your friend in these times if you truly want to end it.
It takes a lot of courage. It's not easy. But it might be even hard to live like in your case hence my point of not living a needlessly cruel life that you end up insane living it.
I sincerely hope you have something in life that you think is worth looking forward to. But if not and you have decided to end your life then that's ok too. We all will die. Some sooner than others. You won't have to suffer more. Hope there's an afterlife where you can live your dreams. Good luck mate!! Peace!!
P.S: Want someone to talk to? PM me anytime. I will be more than happy to talk. I mean it.
1 suicidethrowaway358 2018-02-05
If there is an afterlife I'm going straight to Hell.
1 Ed__ButteredToast 2018-02-05
If the God i think exists and does care about us? Trust me. You won't be going to hell. Also don't worry about something that we have no control over. You don't go to hell for the way that you were born.
OR
Maybe God is a dick? If so then we're all fucked. At least you won't be alone no?
Stop worrying about this stuff. Think about the stuff you have control over. Please do what I said. Delay it by three days and do stuff, even the little things that you like. Personally I love looking at sunsets. There are spots around me where it's a really lovely sight. Find something that you like too. Maybe it will change you mind but it will surely give you some sort of happiness in your last few days.
1 suicidethrowaway358 2018-02-05
A loving god would never have created something like me.
1 Ed__ButteredToast 2018-02-05
I'm not religious but I can understand the concept of blind faith and "life is a test". You're EXACLTY what God would create in order to "test" the human morality.
It's like a litmus test. You can tell between people who are dicks/lack nuance and people who have nuance and are way more empathetic.
Our differences test us whether we act on our instincts which can lead to evil actions or that we invoke our "human" side and resist those urges.
Nobody in this life can ever convince that God hasn't wronged you by creating you (esp given your circumstances) since you never decided to take the test (or if you did, you certainly don't remember it which doesn't make a difference). Life is cruel. I have no idea how a God will justify this as he prides on calling himself 'just' all the time according to people and their books.
We'll see. But if you are a person who believes that God will abide by logical arguments then there is no way that you are guilty for the way that you are born. There was no free will in the case of selecting your sexual orientation.
I don't see you as a bad person. Actually, i see you infinitely more brave than me at lease because if I were you, i'd never would've told anyone this. Even on the Internet.
Why would a "loving" God "test" us anyway? What does he get from this "test"? Nobody can answer you that. Maybe there is a justification in the after life? There must be incase that God is "loving". I don't believe my words are comforting you (I hope it's not making it worse) but I'm saying what I have on my mind.