hopefully this doesn't make me seem super spoiled.

I've been seeing Tom for a year and a half. We're both engineers, met through work. He's got kids from a previous marriage

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I've currently got a car I love, it's a 15 year old mazda miata. It's a little beaten up, but it's my baby

It's great because I live and work in the city and it's super easy to parallel park, (I can fit it into little spots most cars wouldn't fit) and it's fun to drive.

If I had to replace it, I could afford to, and I'd probably get another Miata

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Tom always hated the car, he thinks it's kinda a death trap (He doesn't trust older cars, especially mine since I had a few accidents in it when I was learning to drive in highschool)

He doesn't like that I'm driving a RWD manual in the snow, even though I've gotten quite good at handling it (Only time I lost control was when I was a lot younger and was practicing for my license test)

He doesn't like how he always has to drive when we do something with his kids. (He has 3 kids, my car has 2 seats) i also hate driving his car, it's a huge minivan and I'm not used to driving something that feels so big and unweildy

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My birthday was a few days ago, and he'd been hyping up my surprise gift for a while.

It was a new 7 seat Kia SUV... And while it is a super generous gift, it makes me feel like he never listened to why I like the car I have now.

The Kia would be terrible to parallel park, much more expensive to ensure, and less fuel efficient. I also don't have any need for more than 2 seats in a car, I'll rent a pickup truck if I need to haul things

I can't keep both cars, since I live in a dense urban area I can only get one street parking pass (unless I want to pay over 150 dollars a month to get a spot in a lot or garage for the 2nd car)

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I tried to tell Tom that I didn't want to sign the title, because I really didn't need a new car and I was upset he got me a gift with out thinking of what I'd want.. i would have been happy with a nice dinner out!!

Tom got annoyed, talking about how impractical and unsafe my car was.

I tried to say that for my needs, a big suv in a city with lots of narrow cramped roads was a lot more impractical, but he argued about always having to drive if we brought anyone but us 2 (Which is most often his kids)

I feel like it was way more a gift for himself then for me. If he wanted to give me something I'd love, a new miataa would have been perfect. Or even something little like a fun day out together. Am overreacting and being selfish?

Tldr - boyfriend bought me a car that would be impractical and expensive for me, as a gift.

Best comments:

In spite of the fact of the cost of the "gift", I think he's the one being selfish. He's trying to force you into the role of mommy to his kids. That's huge.

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So why is he expecting you to chaperone his kids? Why can't he drive? I mean.....they are HIS responsibility, not yours.

This, is the kind of thing that would be a relationship killer for me. He didn't just get you an expensive gift (one that you will have to pay insurance, etc on), he actively went against your known wishes to force his will onto you. Red freaking flag.

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He bought this for his kid's unpaid babysitter.

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Bingo, OP he wants you to be the bang nanny.

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When he keeps arguing the car is unsafe, what he means is "for his kids". Everything about this screams red flag for controlling, domineering patriarch who expects "his" woman to take care of him and his kids.

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that's a huge red flag. Ignoring your wishes, repeatedly overriding your valid concerns then getting upset because you don't "appreciate" his generosity is, at a minimum selfish and often a characteristic of abusers

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Keep your miata! y'all arent even married and he bought you a ~$20k gift. Sounds like he bought himself a ~$20k gift

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Their vaginas would explode.