r/drama: Got Disney raided? Blame the 'gangster' like tactics of Disneyland's social clubs.

The 55's were the first crew to establish a presence on the mean cobblestone streets of Disney. It started off innocent enough, minor crimes like mouse ear theft and line cutting but for the most part we were just there for the joy if the Disney kingdom. Big John Sarno, our leader, decided it would be fun to wear some biker type vests and sew on patches onto them to "rep" our love of this magical land. Mine was a patch of Mickey and Donald just shooting the shit on matching Harley's, it was great.

Well, one day word of our gang reached the ears of the infamous park visitor Jakob "The Night" Fite. Rumor had it Jakob wanted to strong-arm Big John out of his leadership role in the 55's, claiming all of the territory and churro carts within. Obviously, the 55's couldn't let this stand. It was an insult to our increasingly hardened gang dealing in dippin' dots trafficking and princess picture peddling (done off the books privately in a secluded Disney hotel room).

So, we set up a Teacup Throwdown. Big John and The Night were set to meet near the teacups just after dusk. When the time came, my 55's showed up in our vests preparing for what could be an initiation of a new leader or, alternatively, our guy Big John laying the smackdown on The Night. We never could've imagined what happened next though; it was a trap.

The Night came rolling in with a crew as big as ours and rocking their own patches promoting a club we'd never seen before, they called themselves the White Rabbits. A jolt of fear shot down my back as I noticed they were all rocking limited edition 1994 Minnie Mouse sweatshirts with matching Mickey ears. "What have I gotten myself into?!" I thought to myself. It was too late to turn away now though, lest the 55's turn on me for abandoning them and banish me from the park for good.

The rumble began. Immediately a souvenir cup came flying from the White Rabbits and cracked Mean Eileen in the chin, she was out cold from the start. This sent the 55's into a rage as Mean Eileen was actually a very nice middle aged woman who over time became somewhat of a gang mother. Without warning Cowboy (a Jewish man from Long Island) whipped a commemorative Disney licence plate into the Rabbits like a ninja star, taking one of the Rabbits out for good. The brawl just continued to spiral out of control until a booming voice came from the shadows.

"ENOUGH!" shouted the shadowy figure. The scuffle seemed to all come to a halt at once as we tried to figure out who was intruding on our turf war. From the shadows emerged a mountainous figure with a long nose and big floppy ears. It was Pluto. Just as fear had run down my spine earlier, this time it was a shot of shame. We had defiled our turf and the good name of the 55's, all for some stupid grudge against people who loved the good works of Disney as much as we did. The crowd slowly dispersed after a lecture from Pluto about gang warfare.

That was my last day with the 55's. I decided to leave and join a much smaller and lesser known crew called Pluto's Angels. We're dedicated to keeping the park a safe and peaceful place, similar to the guardian angels of NYC in the 1970s. From what I hear from my contacts still in the 55's, there is an uneasy truce between them and the White Rabbits, though he fears this lawsuit will bring back the violence we saw on that fateful night. I can only hope the Angels don't get swept up into the impending death match at Disney.

1 Oh_hamburgers_ 2018-02-10

Plz make fun of me I spent 10 minutes of my life writing this.

1 Western_Promises 2018-02-10

7/10. Watch your sentence beginnings for repetition.

1 grungebot5000 2018-02-10

it’s called PARALLELISM u philistine

1 scatmunchies 2018-02-10

kys fgt

But, seriously, I admire the dedication to your craft. Kids these days don’t understand that true autism requires hard work.

1 IvankaTrumpIsMyWaifu 2018-02-10

This is non weaponized autism. The worst kind.

1 Oh_hamburgers_ 2018-02-10