be 17

hottest girl in school likes me

start's walking home with me everyday

tells me how her dad rescued her from her mom

her dad is a career navy guy, full on chad

after a few weeks dad has the 'talk' with me

"my daughter never had a boyfriend but I like you dramanaut, don't fuck up or I'll have you killed"

"and make sure she's home by nine every night or I'll have you killed"

"yes sir, ok master chief, whatever you say"

so happy with my baby

she's an honor student, full on tradlife

gonna wife her up one day

fast forward two years and we're still happy

"going to get married soon, dramanaut"

drop her off at home one night, 8:59, wew lad!

get home, realize my laptop's still at her house

go back, walk right in because I'm family now

hear weird noises coming from the living room

gotta save my baby, she might be in trouble

mfw I see her having sex with dear old dad on the living room floor