Some back story to this is that my boyfriend is a hockey player, the majority of his friends are also players, coaches, people all related to the sport in some way. I don't really know much about hockey to be honest, but obviously since dating him, I've learned some.
The thing he said he liked about me was that I wasn't some kind of groupie that chased around the players. I met him through a friend of a friend. I work in a totally different industry, had no interest in dating an athlete just to date an athlete.
Anyway, the reason this is important is that my boyfriend was starting to get jealous of me being friends with my male coworkers (I work in construction/engineering- it's pretty much all guys). I assured him there was nothing to be worried about but I knew it was bothering him.
Last weekend, one of his team mates "John" was over his apartment and while my boyfriend was in the bathroom, John sliced 2 of his fingers open cutting an avocado in the kitchen (one of my worst nightmares). It wasn't a very deep cut but there was blood all over, pretty gruesome looking. I immediately went to help him, started bandaging his finger up. When my boyfriend came out, he didn't see anything but me moving away from holding John's hand. I had JUST finished taping it up. My boyfriend was immediately suspicious of the whole scene. He brought it up later in the evening when John was gone and I just told him, he cut the shit out of his fingers, I had to HELP HIM.
On Tuesday, we went out to the ice rink where it was just us two and he was going to teach me to play hockey. Things were going fine, we were having fun, I like ice skating and learning a little bit of hockey was pretty fun too. Then he said something like "John showed me his fingers and told me to tell you thank you" so I was like, "Okay, no problem." Then he said how his fingers weren't cut that bad, and I didn't need to be all over him like that. This totally irritated me.
I said, maybe the cut didn't look that bad because I was there to patch him up, and we went back and forth for a little bit until finally, he pointed his hockey stick at me and cut me off and said - Don't fucking talk back to me about this. I was so shocked I didn't even know what to say. I just started skating away from him and all of a sudden, I hear fast skating noises behind me and then I'm on the ground. He had swung his stick under my skates and literally tripped me on the ice.
I felt like I had been hit, but maybe even worse. I don't know why it feels like worse but I dropped so hard my breath was knocked out. It was awful. He skated to me and immediately picked me up and I pushed him back and told him not to touch me. He didn't apologize, didn't say anything. We both got off the ice and into the car in silence.
He drove me to my apartment and I guess that's when he felt a little bad because he suddenly said "You just got me wound up." I didn't say anything and when he dropped me off I left without saying anything.
Yesterday, he called me 3 times and finally texted me saying (verbatim) "On the ice, I only think of hockey, my training, all my instincts, and when you skated away, all those instincts just took over and I acted totally impulsively. It's like I had no control and I know that's wrong. I will never act like that again. I'M SORRY."
I can't get over this. We've been together just under a year now. He's never been violent like that before, nothing. I guess it makes sense that on the rink, he may be in a different mindset, but my god. I felt like I lost a few seconds when I hit the ice. I kind of want to cry thinking about it, but I won't because it just seems incredible and stupid.
I didn't respond to his text yet but I don't really know what to say. I don't know how to feel. I have to deal with this like an adult but I don't know what that is. What is that? How can I ever trust him again if his "animal instincts" come out like that? Is that just the risk you take with career athletes?
TLDR: Boyfriend was suspicious about me helping his friend (saw me touching his hand cleaning a cut) and kept badgering me about it. On the ice rink, he started up again and annoyed me so I tried to skate away. He swung his hockey stick under my feet and tripped me. We haven't spoken since Tuesday. What do I say? How do I forgive this?
4 comments
1 SnapshillBot 2018-03-02
Sarcasm and flippant behavior represent contempt, which is the opposite of intellectual integrity. You seem like a real fool of a human.
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1 WeWuzKANG5 2018-03-02
Ugh, relationships is lowest hanging fruit, and always a troll.
1 Starship_Litterbox_B 2018-03-02
Some back story to this is that my boyfriend is a hockey player, the majority of his friends are also players, coaches, people all related to the sport in some way. I don't really know much about hockey to be honest, but obviously since dating him, I've learned some. The thing he said he liked about me was that I wasn't some kind of groupie that chased around the players. I met him through a friend of a friend. I work in a totally different industry, had no interest in dating an athlete just to date an athlete. Anyway, the reason this is important is that my boyfriend was starting to get jealous of me being friends with my male coworkers (I work in construction/engineering- it's pretty much all guys). I assured him there was nothing to be worried about but I knew it was bothering him. Last weekend, one of his team mates "John" was over his apartment and while my boyfriend was in the bathroom, John sliced 2 of his fingers open cutting an avocado in the kitchen (one of my worst nightmares). It wasn't a very deep cut but there was blood all over, pretty gruesome looking. I immediately went to help him, started bandaging his finger up. When my boyfriend came out, he didn't see anything but me moving away from holding John's hand. I had JUST finished taping it up. My boyfriend was immediately suspicious of the whole scene. He brought it up later in the evening when John was gone and I just told him, he cut the shit out of his fingers, I had to HELP HIM. On Tuesday, we went out to the ice rink where it was just us two and he was going to teach me to play hockey. Things were going fine, we were having fun, I like ice skating and learning a little bit of hockey was pretty fun too. Then he said something like "John showed me his fingers and told me to tell you thank you" so I was like, "Okay, no problem." Then he said how his fingers weren't cut that bad, and I didn't need to be all over him like that. This totally irritated me. I said, maybe the cut didn't look that bad because I was there to patch him up, and we went back and forth for a little bit until finally, he pointed his hockey stick at me and cut me off and said - Don't fucking talk back to me about this. I was so shocked I didn't even know what to say. I just started skating away from him and all of a sudden, I hear fast skating noises behind me and then I'm on the ground. He had swung his stick under my skates and literally tripped me on the ice. I felt like I had been hit, but maybe even worse. I don't know why it feels like worse but I dropped so hard my breath was knocked out. It was awful. He skated to me and immediately picked me up and I pushed him back and told him not to touch me. He didn't apologize, didn't say anything. We both got off the ice and into the car in silence. He drove me to my apartment and I guess that's when he felt a little bad because he suddenly said "You just got me wound up." I didn't say anything and when he dropped me off I left without saying anything. Yesterday, he called me 3 times and finally texted me saying (verbatim) "On the ice, I only think of hockey, my training, all my instincts, and when you skated away, all those instincts just took over and I acted totally impulsively. It's like I had no control and I know that's wrong. I will never act like that again. I'M SORRY." I can't get over this. We've been together just under a year now. He's never been violent like that before, nothing. I guess it makes sense that on the rink, he may be in a different mindset, but my god. I felt like I lost a few seconds when I hit the ice. I kind of want to cry thinking about it, but I won't because it just seems incredible and stupid. I didn't respond to his text yet but I don't really know what to say. I don't know how to feel. I have to deal with this like an adult but I don't know what that is. What is that? How can I ever trust him again if his "animal instincts" come out like that? Is that just the risk you take with career athletes? TLDR: Boyfriend was suspicious about me helping his friend (saw me touching his hand cleaning a cut) and kept badgering me about it. On the ice rink, he started up again and annoyed me so I tried to skate away. He swung his hockey stick under my feet and tripped me. We haven't spoken since Tuesday. What do I say? How do I forgive this?
1 Post-Preview 2018-03-02
4 minutes.