Gee, color me surprised about that.

real shocker. next thing they'll be telling us is that the majority of gang violence isnt commited by tenured professors.

RIP pitchfork party

The implosion began at a TWP compound in Paoli, Indiana, where Parrott’s wife, Jessica, was allegedly having an affair with Heimbach—who is married to Parrott’s stepdaughter from a previous marriage.

...

Parrott stood on a box outside the trailer and watched Heimbach and Jessica have sex inside, according to a police report. When the box broke under Parrott’s weight, he entered the trailer to confront them. Heimbach allegedly choked him and chased him into a house, where Parrott threw a chair at him. Heimbach hit back, choking him into unconsciousness, according to the police report.

Lmao

Came here to paste those exact two exerpts. I didn't think anything could be funnier and more perfect than the first one. Then I read the second one.

The implosion began at a TWP compound in Paoli, Indiana, where Parrott’s wife, Jessica, was allegedly having an affair with Heimbach—who is married to Parrott’s stepdaughter from a previous marriage.

Keeping those superior genes in tight circulation, I see.

how SHOCKING