r/drama: Guy takes his "Tulpa" to Planet Fitness

Good since you tagged him I have advice to get Tyrone to talk. Get him some honey buns like they have in prison, maybe some new flip flops to wear in the shower

1 PC_Master_Baits 2018-03-16

https://i.imgur.com/W9tMnbv.png

I think they don't want me to take part because my Tulpa is black.

1 ima-kitty 2018-03-16

That's incredibly racist of them, you can be as mentally ill as you want to be here

1 melokobeai 2018-03-16

My Tulpa is a 220lb black male named Tyrone

When you consume so much soy that your imaginary friend is your bull

1 Mattisinthezone 2018-03-16

https://www.reddit.com/r/Tulpas/comments/84qmlj/tulpa_talking_tips/dvrywtd/

1 Mattisinthezone 2018-03-16

It got removed

My Tulpa is a 220lb black male named Tyrone. He kind of influences my decisions for the better and the worst. Like one time when he made me eat Top Ramen for a month and another time when he tried convincing me that heroin might be a good replacement for the hole in my heart my father left me.

He likes to workout at the local planet fitness. I loaded up the plates on the bench as usual. This time though was much different. I'm a scrawny white guy in my 30's and so it does look out of place for me, but for Tyrone this is his usual warm up weight. Tyrone though, was no where around and another guy was waiting. Tyrone was talking to a woman who I liked but that's another story for another time, he's much better with the women than I am.

Tyrone get's back but another guy was waiting and Tyrone layed down on the bench to do his reps while I spotted him. This for some reason caught the attention of the guy waiting for the bench press and he asked what I was doing since there's only one bench press and I'm apparently doing a weird variation of rows. Whatever rows are idk, I'm not a bodybuilder.

I explained to the guy that Tyrone was doing his set and that Tyrone needs my full attention or he will die. Unlike my last Tulpa that made me perform open heart surgery on my dog, this tulpa only asks me to spot him twice a week. So I've traded up I guess.

Well the guy didn't like it when I informed him about the Tulpa laying in front of him and so he layed on Tyrone and this has apparently forced Tyrone into a big, big depression. Tyrone won't speak now. Apparently because he thinks he touched the mans balls. [And Tyrone ain't no one's bitch.] Tyrone used to be another person's Tulpa that was in prison. I convinced him to stick around. He's much better than the last Tulpa I had which was a 400lb indian alcoholic who kept pissing my bed and my boxers.

How can I get Tyrone to start talking again. And how can I get my ban from planet fitness lifted?

1 ChipChippersonAMA 2018-03-16

What in the fuck lol

1 Alexlincoln2 2018-03-16

an /r/drama user posted it

1 pitterpatterwater 2018-03-16

/r/Drama fell for obvious satire. We are truly becoming /r/CringeAnarchy 2.0.

1 ChipChippersonAMA 2018-03-16

Like santa Klaus, I choose to believe

1 pitterpatterwater 2018-03-16

That's not how tulpas work. Tulpas are mental constructs you knowingly make yourself hallucinate, not actual, physical beings which can do reps and shit. Tulpas can't go between minds or whatever. Tulpas don't have control over the person hallucinating them. That's probably why it was removed.

1 cosmonaut1993 2018-03-16

This is amazing

1 loli_esports 2018-03-16

If you’re a virgin at 30, you don’t become a wizard, you become a tulpamancer

1 Dextro420x 2018-03-16

This sub is a goldmine of cringe

1 ConfirmableVelvet 2018-03-16

David lynch needs to be stopped

1 PM_ME_HAIRLESS_CATS 2018-03-16

We need a direct increase in mental health funding.