I'm not even sure what your point is. Yeah I'd rather sleep with a dakimakura of my waifu Renge-chan than with some random 3D slut but that doesn't mean I'm desperate, it's the opposite, it implies that I have standards.
The guy's not remotely attractive either though. How do people like this get in relationships and then even opportunities to cheat on their partner? Must have non-existent standards.
Technically, he was fucking two chicks at once. So at the very least, his time management skills were pretty good to give both of them the dick and still get in quality gaming time.
“I saw the look in her eyes, and it scared the living poop out of me,”
“I wasn’t a sweaty nerd, more of an Ethlete,”
This story has it all; kung fu action, a woman scorned, a samurai sword, video games, a bloody climax and a victorious survivor, who gives us some phenomenal quotes after the ordeal.
Is this real life? Where can I get a refund on the last 3.5 years of Muay Thai and BJJ classes? Fuck all you haters, I'm switching to Wing Chun with immediate effect.
I thought pussypassdenied was originally about women trying to use their womanly wiles to get away with things like parking tickets. Saying r/pussypassdenied in response to a woman attempting to murder someone and getting in proper legal trouble makes no sense.
“I was able to wing chun my way to survival,” he told the Oregonian/OregonLive in an interview this week over Facebook messenger, referring to a Chinese martial art. He eventually wrapped Javier in a bear hug. “I saw the look in her eyes, and it scared the living poop out of me,” he told the news outlet. “I told her I loved her, and she was killing me. She needed to call police, or I was going to die.”
“I was just so proud for beating this samurai wannabe crazy lady with hate in her heart,” the 29-year-old told the Oregonian/OregonLive. “I’ve been preparing my whole life for something like this.”
Lovell almost lost the index, middle and ring fingers on his hand. But in interviews this week, the competitive gamer sounded happy to be alive.
“I wasn’t a sweaty nerd, more of an Ethlete,” Lovell told the Oregonian/OregonLive.
My favorite parts. The guys responses seem like he's already joking around about it! I don't think WaPo understand online gaming though...
Alex Lovell — known as “Biggie” in his local gamer scene — is an avid player of “PlayerUnknown’s Battleground,” a multiplayer online fighting game
Members of the local gaming scene set up a GoFundMe page for his medical bills
So a man who "has been recently logging 12 to 13 hours a day" on PUBG says stuff like “I was able to wing chun my way to survival,” and “I saw the look in her eyes, and it scared the living poop out of me” and even “I was just so proud for beating this samurai wannabe crazy lady” who describes himself as an "Ethlete" gets a GF and cheats on her to the point where she tries to kill him with a sword.
I'm not even sure how to react. I feel like we're done as a species. The fact that this man could find a woman shows Incels aren't trying hard enough, and the fact that she'd be with him and try to kill him with a fucking Walmart blade shows she should have turned the sword on herself.
I couldn't date anything with a Walmart Katana. That's my line. You're spot on about the side pussy and the Wing Chun tho. Probs gonna buy the rope tomorrow.
40 comments
1 SnapshillBot 2018-03-16
I'm not even sure what your point is. Yeah I'd rather sleep with a dakimakura of my waifu Renge-chan than with some random 3D slut but that doesn't mean I'm desperate, it's the opposite, it implies that I have standards.
Snapshots:
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1 AlohaWarrior34 2018-03-16
Good bot.
1 Pickled_Kagura 2018-03-16
glorious taste in waifu
1 RobBobGlove 2018-03-16
At lest my waifu wont stab me
1 ragazzo_soup 2018-03-16
As long as your waifu isn't Gasai Yuno, sure.
1 voicelesshoodwinker 2018-03-16
Reeeepost ( 3rd time).sorry OP.
1 newfagalt 2018-03-16
It deserves it, especially with this title
1 saddertadder 2018-03-16
Sometimes we gotta be reminded that reality is more bizarre than fiction
1 YameteOniichanItai 2018-03-16
If you prefer playing silly vidya over fucking your gf you kinda deserve to get tickled with a large sword, at least a little.
1 OniTan 2018-03-16
Have you seen her?
1 YameteOniichanItai 2018-03-16
The guy's not remotely attractive either though. How do people like this get in relationships and then even opportunities to cheat on their partner? Must have non-existent standards.
1 OniTan 2018-03-16
(Looks at username, nods)
1 Che_Gueporna 2018-03-16
Technically, he was fucking two chicks at once. So at the very least, his time management skills were pretty good to give both of them the dick and still get in quality gaming time.
1 cavides 2018-03-16
This is Katana. She's got my back. I would advise not getting killed by her. Her sword traps the souls of its victims.
1 Thhueros 2018-03-16
SLIPKNOT: THE MAN WHO CAN CLIMB ANYTHING
1 UnluckyImp22 2018-03-16
/u/PinguWithAnM calls it:
1 OniTan 2018-03-16
Armed with a sword, got the jump on a sleeping unarmed opponent, and still lost. This bitch just got /r/pussypassdenied!
1 Zachums 2018-03-16
I thought pussypassdenied was originally about women trying to use their womanly wiles to get away with things like parking tickets. Saying r/pussypassdenied in response to a woman attempting to murder someone and getting in proper legal trouble makes no sense.
1 baaaaby 2018-03-16
it was until they realized they wouldnt have enough posts
1 Zachums 2018-03-16
At this point it's just r/hahabadthingshappeningtowomen
1 MooseHeckler 2018-03-16
Everybody have fun tonight, everybody wing chung!
1 newfagalt 2018-03-16
My favorite parts. The guys responses seem like he's already joking around about it! I don't think WaPo understand online gaming though...
1 UnluckyImp22 2018-03-16
Wait, why is this a joke? Because gamer NEETs don't have any money?
1 newfagalt 2018-03-16
The second quotes were just highlighting the weird use of "local gaming scene" when he probably was just a normal online gamer if he's playing PUBG.
1 OnlyRacistOnReddit 2018-03-16
They are funding it with GBP which Daddy has promised to convert to dollars for them.
1 UnluckyImp22 2018-03-16
Sterling is already more valuable than the dollar, so...
1 OnlyRacistOnReddit 2018-03-16
Good Boy Points... Get out you Britbong!
1 nmx179 2018-03-16
It would be a violation of the reddit content policy to say her boyfriend is a disgusting weeb who deserved to be stabbed, so I won't say that.
1 whoopsforgotemail 2018-03-16
It's only if its encouraging violence against people or animals, and weebs are below both of those.
1 dewainarfalas 2018-03-16
Best fucking title :D
1 The_Donaven 2018-03-16
So a man who "has been recently logging 12 to 13 hours a day" on PUBG says stuff like “I was able to wing chun my way to survival,” and “I saw the look in her eyes, and it scared the living poop out of me” and even “I was just so proud for beating this samurai wannabe crazy lady” who describes himself as an "Ethlete" gets a GF and cheats on her to the point where she tries to kill him with a sword.
I'm not even sure how to react. I feel like we're done as a species. The fact that this man could find a woman shows Incels aren't trying hard enough, and the fact that she'd be with him and try to kill him with a fucking Walmart blade shows she should have turned the sword on herself.
We need to end as a species. Rain the nukes down.
1 UnluckyImp22 2018-03-16
I think you're just jelly you're not an Ethlete with mad Wing Chun skills, a qt 3.14 gf and plenty of side-pussy.
1 The_Donaven 2018-03-16
I couldn't date anything with a Walmart Katana. That's my line. You're spot on about the side pussy and the Wing Chun tho. Probs gonna buy the rope tomorrow.
1 OniTan 2018-03-16
Cutie? She looks like a meth head dyke.
1 UnluckyImp22 2018-03-16
Any girl crazy enough to go benihanas on you with a katana is probably also crazy in bed.
1 OnlyRacistOnReddit 2018-03-16
Walmart blade? I'm guessing she bought it out of a Bud K catalog that our ethlete hero had lying around.
1 The_Donaven 2018-03-16
My only hope is she wore the ceremonial fedora while wielding the weapon of the proud neckbeard race.
1 OnlyRacistOnReddit 2018-03-16
Is there any doubt?
1 OniTan 2018-03-16
Honey came in and she caught me red handed texting with some Tinder whore.
Picture this I was stabbed and bloody, dying on the bedroom floor.
1 ralpher313 2018-03-16
How could I forget that I had given her that shiny sword
1 wisty 2018-03-16
Soundcloud of the 911 call: https://soundcloud.com/user-401893901/emily-javier-911-call#t=0:17
1 aqouta 2018-03-16
How many times are we going to do this?