Not last night but I have had the alien abduction experience once, a manifestation of sleep paralysis. They tried to probe me from the rear but had bad aim and just kept poking my buttcheeks.
I have also gotten ones with shadow people, SPIDERS EVERYWHERE, and just real people who had no business randomly being in my bedroom at night going through my shit. I think the spiders were the worst.
Dont listen to this sleep paralysis (((shill))) shadow people exist in reality! I was taken by aliens when i was a young boy. I was probed and raped for weeks and the aliens can shapeshift into your UNCLES and Tball COACHES. Aliens are REAL and they wabt to steal and EAT our BABIES. Just like Crooked HELLAry. MAGA.
The aliens have been abducting and anally probing midwestern farmers on a regular basis for more than 50 years now.
Beyond discovering that on average 1 in 6 of them seem to enjoy it I can't imagine that continued research in this area will ever yield any fruitful results.
15 comments
1 scatmunchies 2018-03-18
I got anally probed, but it probably wasn’t aliens.
1 Matues49 2018-03-18
I get probed every Sunday night, but it's definitely aliens.
1 icefourthirtythree 2018-03-18
Is your uncle's name actually Aliens?
1 Matues49 2018-03-18
No, that's my school coach's. My uncle's name is Cuddlemonster.
1 none_to_remain 2018-03-18
Not last night but I have had the alien abduction experience once, a manifestation of sleep paralysis. They tried to probe me from the rear but had bad aim and just kept poking my buttcheeks.
I have also gotten ones with shadow people, SPIDERS EVERYWHERE, and just real people who had no business randomly being in my bedroom at night going through my shit. I think the spiders were the worst.
1 incineratechicken 2018-03-18
Did the spiders probe you too?
1 none_to_remain 2018-03-18
No they were fuckin' crawling all over me. Horrible
1 shredler 2018-03-18
Dont listen to this sleep paralysis (((shill))) shadow people exist in reality! I was taken by aliens when i was a young boy. I was probed and raped for weeks and the aliens can shapeshift into your UNCLES and Tball COACHES. Aliens are REAL and they wabt to steal and EAT our BABIES. Just like Crooked HELLAry. MAGA.
1 Oh_hamburgers_ 2018-03-18
Actually I abducted an alien, an illegal alien.
1 WarSanchez 2018-03-18
So you're the big scary gringo who took my cousin Diego...
1 Oh_hamburgers_ 2018-03-18
He'll be fine in a few days, tell Guadalupe he will be back to Mexico soon.
1 WarSanchez 2018-03-18
Gracias a Dios!
1 Redactor0 2018-03-18
Hmmm... I can't seem to remember... 🤔
1 BlindedbyOnanism 2018-03-18
The aliens have been abducting and anally probing midwestern farmers on a regular basis for more than 50 years now. Beyond discovering that on average 1 in 6 of them seem to enjoy it I can't imagine that continued research in this area will ever yield any fruitful results.
1 myshl0ng 2018-03-18
Probe me all night