That comment was one of the greatest mistakes of my life.

*comment chain

I didn't see a chain coming. I thought "well here's a bit innocuous knowledge I can share."

lol, nice Reddit bio/description or whatever it's called btw

Thanks

And then on a dime the claws came out, that’s not normal.

You want to talk about something? Things are pretty crappy for me too, I empathize and I can be a good listener for you.

Hahaha

No I'm good. I was a bit over the top. No regerts.

Didn't see it, but you sure jumped in

O I wasn't innocent in the whole thing by any means. I was little triggered by someone just calling bullshit. I felt like a mechanic telling someone "if you rotate your tires regularly it will extend their life" and some moron comes back with "nah this is lies. I never rotate my tires and they last hella long."

hey at least you are very self-aware and a good sport, unlike 90% of people featured here

O I've still been engaging in petty bickering with idiots in this thread. I know I'm really hyperbolic and come of as intense but it's good fun for me. Plus the more you give them a chance to respond, the more they reveal how little they know about the subject at hand.

Bt thanks T Swift. Fuck Katy Perry.

to be fair I made that comment before seeing you sperg further down in the thread, but I still enjoy and appreciate your work

Love, a fellow self-martyring kitchen worker

Hey a kitchen worker!

So you also make a bit of dinner?

So you also make a bit of dinner?

if by "bit of dinner" you mean spend 12 hours on my feet getting screamed at, cut and burned followed by 8 hour binges of speed/coke and weed/booze then a shitty half-nap on a friend's futon and doing it all over again, then yes

You get it

Most people think I'm kidding when I say a month in the kitchen is harder on my body and mind than when I roofed for a whole summer. It's almost impossible not to get burnt out and then you get the people who think "I don't know my mom cooks a lot she's not stressed." So it's not only the most cock breaking life shortening thing you can imagine, people also treat you like you're lazy and need to get "a real job".

Hats off to you. I couldn't hang anymore. Hung up the apron. I now only cook for the love of cooking.

I got out a couple years ago, I'm in school now. It was interesting enough for awhile, but I lost a buddy to an overdose and it really got me thinking about what I wanted in life, and being a 40 year old alcoholic chef with no real family like the one i worked for was not what I wanted

You gotta twist that knife. Make them remember. Next time they might think to check what they think they know before telling someone what they don't know.

Who hurt you?

If you've ever worked in a kitchen you would know that is extremely civil for a cook.

But to answer your question I was molested by an onion.

Did it make you like onions more or less 🤔

It's more nuanced.

It's made it so that I love onion rings, but find them difficult to enjoy, and I often eat them compulsively to bury my feelings of shame.

Uwu onion rings gimme gimme dadddy

What Denny's do you work at?

1. I'm no longer a chef

2. I've never worked at Denny's. I worked in fine dining.

3. Someone who cuts onions at Denny's everyday is no less qualified to speak on the subject than anyone else who cuts onions everyday.

Look at this egalitarian motherfucker.

I worked in fine dining.

Cracker Barrel isn't fine dining

Hilarious

It's almost the exact same joke as the Dennys guy. Kudos on your creativity and original thinking.

Why is everyone who has ever worked in a kitchen a colossal fuckhead?

You'd think they served in the trenches with the way they talk about their jobs, it's a bit of dinner lmao, calm down.

it's a bit of dinner

Your ignorance is showing

How often do you use onions when serving breakfast?

So at first I thought you just didn't understand how a kitchen works.

It's become clear you don't understand how food works.

Have you never heard of home fries?

What does your question even have to do with anything?

Is there an adult I can talk to?

You said you didn't cook dinner, so I assume you mean breakfast.

No I said it's not "a bit of dinner". A good restaurant is serving hundreds if not thousands of people a day. It's not just making dinner. It takes a great deal of preperation, intense focus, and a team effort. It is one of the most stressful jobs you can imagine. You don't get breaks, because you can't. You often work 60+ hours a week, and if you're not, you will be replaced. You are working in intense heat with dangerous tools and materials surrounded by junkies and alcoholics who are also stressed beyond containment. It's not the Chicken Tendies you throw in the oven while you play some Overwatch and chug Mt Dew. Anyone who chooses to be a chef is living a life of sacrifice for their craft and are deserving of respect.

And at the end you have created a bit of dinner.

No. At the end you scrub the whole kitchen, mop the floors, and hope to god some ignorant prick who doesn't have the first clue of how a kitchen works ^{that's you} doesn't walk in at 5 minutes to closing saying "are you still open?"

Oh so you cook and clean? I salute you, sir!

Something tells me you've never worked an honest day in your life

I have definitely cooked dinner before.

Easy Mac isn't exactly cooking

Easy Mac isn't exactly cooking

Your ignorance is showing.

That's not how that works

When I said that it was because you revealed how little you know about the profession.

When you said it you were responding to a hyperbolic statement that was intended to insult you.

I believe this where I'm supposed to say wooosh

mic drop

At the end you scrub the whole kitchen, mop the floors,

Not fine dining if the backwaiters/bussers aren't doing this for you.

I'm so glad you could clear up life experiences for me. Tell me, what is it that qualifies a restaurant as "fine dining"?

French style service

french style service

I expected retarded. You far exceeded my expectations. Congratulations. Get yourself some tendies.

lmao this kid was a sous chef at some upscale asian fusion restaurant and never had a backwaiter. gtfo lil bitch and/or batonnet my onions

You don't know what you're talking about.

I don't know who you're talking to.

Using french culinary terms doesn't make you look smarter. It just makes you look deperate to look smarter.

Kid, I use those terms in my own kitchen. I've spent 40+ years picking these things up after reading Julia Child as a young man. You don't know who you're talking to. Now go mis-en-place; dinner service starts soon. You need to get on that family meal for the staff as well

Asshole, this kid is a grown man.

If youre the expeet you claim to be you should know that a "backwaiter" is just a pretentious way to say busboy. You should also know that fine dining is not french style. (Not that French Style isn't an example of fine dining.) Above all you should know that sous chef is by no means a low ranking chef. I feel like you mean garde manger. But you would know that right?

When you say "my own kitchen", does this kitchen have employees? Reading Julia Childs does not make you a chef.

No I mean you're not nor have ever been an exec chef. And by "my own kitchen" I mean my home, you jackanapes. Post experience or gtfo

No I've never been an executive chef. What's your point? You've never been any kind of chef. It would seem that I have more experience than you. Even I had only ever been a dishwasher I would still have a better idea of how a kitchen operates than you. It's pretty arrogant to think yourself an expert after reading one book. It's almost like you're the very hobbyist I refered to earlier who thinks they know what it means to be a chef.

You're not a chef. You're opinion of my skills and knowledge in this arena mean nothing to me. I don't need to prove myself to you. You clearly need to prove yourself to me.

You've failed.

I see you worked at Wok on Wheels

Even if that were true, it would still make me more of a chef than you.

The cook making burgers at a pizza shop...

Is more of a chef than you

The kid who fries wings at the bar...

Is more of a chef than you

Even a garde manger just plating salads and apps...

Is more of a chef than you.

You see to be a chef you have to work in a kitchen

You're a fanboy. You're no more a chef than someone with a first aid kit and some CPR training is a doctor. Real chefs laugh at you.

Lmao. I worked in an upscale steak house (think Perry's) in college as a line chef. Dicing onions isn't hard. So now I've posted more experience than you, little boy. Post your experience

As well, I never claimed to be a chef. Baby, I'm a cook!

A line chef?

WTF is a line chef?

What happened to your fancy french words?

Why weren't you a chef de partie?

Why don't you just say line cook like everyone else?

Is it that important to inflate your experience?

I worked in fine dining just outside of Philadelphia as a prep cook(garde manger), and a line cook (chef de partie).

I also worked weekends as a busser for a little while. I helped clean the kitchen because I knew how hard the cooks worked. It was never my responsibility.

You should really ask yourself, "was it worth it to argue with this guy for so long, grill him about his experience, assert my "knowledge" just because he said he cleaned floors as a cook?"

You were wrong to start. Why not just accept that and move on?

You were wrong to start. Why not just accept that and move on?

Kid, I made up like 95% of what I've replied to you with just to rile you up. Read the sidebar. You have no idea where you are. Go back to cutting onions lmao

You actual mother fucker!

Half of me is so pissed I could pay someone to dox you just to release your porn history, but the other half has to respect the game.

I'm so conflicted and in a state of deep self hate.

If you want to dox me, just be at the DW's Video on I-35 outside Gainesville TX this Friday at 6 pm. I'll let you fuck my wife

This better not be a trick...

/u/PantherChamp has fucked her before

Legitimately I've never been trolled so hard. At least I've never swallowed the bait. I tip my fedora to thee good sir.

I laid that pipe in good n' thick!

How are my kids doing, by the way?

I see your pasta-making skills are top-notch

Slinging semolina since I was six

Spittin' straight spaghetti with my fingertips

Ignore /u/AndyMandalore, cucks. He thinks a microwave and a plastic spoon is "dangerous equipment" and that remembering to wipe the counter after you're done is the height of sophistication.

didn't you drop the mic?

If you return after dripping the mic you just look like a fuckong idiot. I guess you just get used to some things huh?

I apologise for violating the sanctity of the mic drop.

That's really mean, they don't have food in that part of Europe

I was molested by an onion

Did you cry? Because you don't seem to know how to efficiently behave with an onion to not cry.

I know all of those words, but when you put them in that order I can't make heads or tails of it.

I can't make heads or tails of it.

I guess you're used to saying this.

This is the efficient technique for cutting onions. The other good technique is to ask a woman to do it for you.

Whatever.

You're not making much sense.

Also the Grateful Dead are the most over rated band in the history of music.

I don't listen to them. You're really totally lost in life.

Nothing about you makes sense!

Thanks for the compliment, but coming from someone as clueless as you are, it' doesn't mean much.

At least everyone else tried.

You're just jumping on a hate train. You have no idea where it's going, or where it came from.

I'm not even angry because I don't know what the hell you're saying. Even your u/ makes no sense.

Do I actually sound hateful? Do I have to care about where it's going? Where it came from is you becoming mad at hell over how to cut onions like it's the most important thing in the universe. What is there so hard to understand in what I'm saying? Are you completely clueless for real? Why should a u/ make sense (mine actually does, but anyway)? Why are you downvoting all of my comments yet you still answer? Dude, I'm starting to really think your mental health is compromised.

Why do idiots like you always think I'm downvoting them?

How did I get it to -2?

Maybe other people just also think you're an incoherent tool.

It's possible.

Maybe because no one is reading this anymore except you and me and my comments get to 0 as soon as you answer?

I don't see any comment at -2 here. All of mine are at 0, all of yours at 1.

Your answer was not interesting at all man. Try more.

Your answers were at -2 until I pointed that out.

Then they changed.

Curious.

I'm glad you've realized refridgerating an onion doesn't make it stop you from crying.

It's the insults hurled by the onion that make you cry.

If you refrigerate them they get sleepy and don't talk as much though. It's science man.

Ha. Wait until someone starts slicing you up with a knife when you're asleep. You wake up preeeetty damn fast.

Great now I'm crying.

I guess I was wrong the whole time.

This will make you feel better

Fucking jackdaws. Always getting triggered when call them crows. SMH.

AKSHUALLY

Why do all meats pair well with onions?

I'm not sure if this is a set up to a joke but if there is some chemical reason you're referring to I have no idea.

To summarize:

Onion-cutting pro-tip

lmao no

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

art 👌👌👌

Reddit "chefs" are the worst. No, it's not because you work in a shit tier 2 out of 5 star chinese takeout that you're a chef and everyone has to suck your dick. Also see: all the subs where leddit "chefs" congregate like r/kitchenconfidential

When you work a long time at mastering something and someone corrects you because they're a hobbiest it's pretty insulting.

Imagine if you were good at something (just try to imagine. It could take some doing.) And you studied it and worked tirelessly at perfecting it. Would it be reasonable to expect to know more than the layman?

Don't let it make you insecure.

Too bad your onion trick is mostly bullshit.

But hey, who would expect a lowly cook to understand chemistry

Mostly bullshit? Is it the culinary dread pirate roberts? Is it like how the things you say are mostly retarded?

I know basic chemistry seems scary to someone like you, but it really isn't that hard to understand

It's horrifying.

Like how onions contain a sulfuric compound which floats into your eye when they're cut causing irritation and tears. And how cold temperatures makes the enzyme less volatile and so it releases less of the sulfuric compound.

You know what's even scarrier? Actually educating yourself. It's so easy to dismiss people out of hand and pretend like your smarter than them.

In the future it would be wise to fact check yourself before coming off as such a smarmy cunt. You're not nearly as smart as you apparently think you are.

I see you can use Google. If you kept reading you'd realize the onion would need to be in the fridge for several hours to make any actual difference. You're better off using a fresh onion, sharp knife and cutting with the core to avoid damaging the cells.

Or do what I do and make sure your contacts are in.

Anyway, as much fun as being agressive retards at each is I got a big boy job to do, so have fun out there Mr angry

Hahahaha

comes from a position of ignorance

uses insulting tone for no reason

gets proven wrong

"you didn't know that already!"

You are the worst kind of ignoramus. You can't even be wrong gracefully. GTFO.

Can you stop being a smug child for 3 comments? The average e-Nazi doesn't even act as obnoxious as you do and it's about fucking onions. Unironically Keep Yourself Safe.

I get what you're saying but I think you're being a bit reductive in how you're framing the conversation.

It's not about onions. It's about someone who has studied something, being called an idiot by people who don't know what they're talking about at all.

I don't feel that I'm being smug. I feel that it is extremely smug for someone to call you a liar and an idiot without taking a minute to verify that their feelings are facts. A quick Google search will confirm every claim I've made.

There have been people who questioned what I'm saying and I've explained myself and it was all very civil. I've only responded in a snark tone, when the comment I'm responding to is snarky.

I get what you're saying but I think you're being a bit reductive in how you're framing the conversation.

You could have done literally anything else today.

But you did all this.

Congrats.

I had a day off, I'm quitting smoking and I wasn't feeling great. I considered it time we'll spent.

BTFO tbqh, stemlord gets whipped into a lovely froth by a cook

I like you. You should stick around.

You know my favorite characteristic in someone is liking me.

You have good taste friend.

I like you too.

Please make an onion themed Navy Seals copypasta because I'm too lazy.

Its Monday morning why are people getting worked up over shit. I'm still trying to get Sunday Turkey shits out.

The original thread was weeks if not months ago.

Get lost, foreign trash. Stealin our drama and bussy smh😤

What you were talking about is not a tried and true method, I'm speaking from experience. You would know so much about "people like me", since you're an internet magician, right? No need to cry over onions either, chef.

Here's your choice cut "chef". You can take that comment all the way to the food bank.

/u/ AndyMandalore

You quoted the guy who doesn't know that refrigerating certain foods speeds up spoilage.

He literally showed how little he knows while trying to prove how much he knows.

It is a tried and true method. I tried it. Every day. It works.

Try it yourself. It will work.

You can take that to the food bank. This check won't bounce.

For real though, why would could make something spoil?

In regards to onions specifically it's because onions need to be cured.

Onions don't come out of the ground with the dry papery outer layer that you peel of before cutting. They need to be cured and kept in a cool dark dry place with good circulation. The moisture level in a refrigerator is specifically what will start the onion rotting.

Potatoes shouldn't be refrigerated because the starches convert to sugar in the cold. They also should be stored in a cool dark dry place with good circulation but separately from onions because potatoes give off a gas that causes onions to spoil faster.

Well thanks, that was interesting.

Thank you for asking

Just smash them flat with a hammer.

Instant finely rendered onions.

Whats wrong with this approach?

https://i.redd.it/cp2kbthkqxm01.jpg