The clock is ticking ladies....

330  2018-03-27 by Starship_Litterbox_B

80 comments

Wh*te women BTFO'd by 🕠Father🕗 Time🕞

TICK

TOCK

THAT'S WHAT HE MEANT!

Is this all just butterball?

That's why I prefer 2D.

Technically this is 2D.

Yikes. No wonder we divorce and then marry younger.

Men *can* age much better, but they still have to maintain a healthy lifestyle to look good. The vast majority of middle-aged male americans are fat, dumpy, wrinkled slobs just like their female counterparts. The ones who work for it can look good tho

I know where I'm going if my wife ever leaves me.

The vast majority of middle-aged male americans are fat, dumpy, wrinkled slobs

Which just makes strong-willed men like myself even more god-like in comparison.

Cruise maintains his youth through daily supplication to Lord Xenu

yea this got nothing to do with gender and everything to do with thetans

No no, they maintain their youth because they are actively fighting lord xenu and expelling evil thetans from their bodies. Come on champ, be informed

Nice try. Not buying that bullshit. Tom Cruise is an agent of Xenu who has infiltrated the church.

What the hell I love Scientology now.

Scientology actually does work !

Praise be lord Xenu

Tick tock?

What rhymes with Cruise? 🤔🤔

Botox

Stews!

(((Globalists)))

couch.

His name is Tom Cruise

He's more jacked than Terry Crews

He's got some world-changing views

And he's never been accused of abuse


His fuse

Short like the foreskin of Jews

Go up against him, you'll lose

You will end up bruised - misused - singing the blues


So here is the news

Blow on it while it glues

You'll never fuck Penélope Cruz

Pics of your face will never ever be used in tattoos


From here to Toulouse

Both Hutus and Hindus

Those bald and with hairdos

People who live in igloos - shit even kangaroos


They all worship the Cruise

They're building his statues

While he works hard you hit snooze

You are no nobody's muse - with no excuse


So drink up your bottle of booze

Don't even put on your shoes

Jerk off to furry kangaroos

And choke on the tissues, crusted in chartreuse residues

masterpiss

pißwasser

Xenus

Dr. Dre.

Cruz

This image has been around for a few years at least. So even more impressive..

A million bucks worth of plastic surgery and makeup...

Man, she got ripped off.

Right now separate

Tom Cruise is fifty fuckin five

That's not really a fair comparison since she's a lesbian, not a normal woman. Kristen Stewart recently became lesbian and she looks like that too, and she's under 30.

I think you just proved op's point, clock is ticking.

She also has smoked for 40 years.

Kristen Stewart recently became lesbian and she looks like that too

welp

It's almost like the stress of dealing with women ages you, which is why Tom Cruise looks younger than his adopted black son

In fairness she has suffered from a lack of creamy, health-giving and nourishing man-fat in her what with being a dyke and all...

What Scientology serum is providing this eternal youth effect?? Sign me up!!

XENU SAVES

And there's that fucking middle tooth.

Ugh, you had to point it out and ruin Tom Cruise for me.

Tom Cruise ruins Tom Cruise for me.

middle tooth

Holy shit

He used to inject chemicals under skin and now she does it.

Yeah and tom cruise just woke up like this lol

All fighters of Xenu naturally look attractive, his evil thetans make us look ugly

TIL semen counts as a chemical.

TIL in rectum counts as under skin.

ITS FUCKING UNDER IT, ALRIGHT!? WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT FROM ME?! MY CHEMICALS!?

Holy crap I forgot Leslie Mann is in that. Had to have been one of her first roles ya

I think The Cable Guy predates this. I'm not gonna look it up though.

Is that Judd Apatow's wife? ew

Judd wife and Rudd’s slam-pig

Years ago I had people telling me I looked like Brandon Frasier. I'm glad I don't get that anymore.

Even Brendan Fraser doesn't look like Brendan Fraser any more

Damn I forgot how shredded Brendan Fraser used to be, no wonder he was in everything.

I think I started puberty when I watched George of the Jungle for the first time

Well, Frasier has a lot problems with his health in the last 7 years. I hope he will pull through.

JUST

He got sloppy!

Those "Hollywood producer types" (you know the kind) raped ARE BRENDAN which is what happened to him.

Fraser looks pretty fucking good for someone that has spent so much time in the hospital

Leslie Mann was banging in George of the Jungle, doesn't get enough credit

Lol he looks like Al Gore

So... this is the power of drugs...

She is 5 years older than him...

Oh fuck. Tom Cruise's midlife crisis is going to be entertaining.

That's some funny plastic surgery.

11/10 would take the m'lady for dinner

Still getting over the fact that he has a tooth in line with the dead centre of his face...

Can't unsee!!!

Its not just botox and shit like that which is the usual go to excuse.

Its genetics mostly. I'm old enough to see those who get age train hits like a wrecking ball at 40 and those who seem to be immortal. Lifestyle matters too.

Don't tan.

Don't smoke.

Limit your drinking.

Look young much longer. Also don't be fat but that should be a given.

Fucking like degenerates is still ok.

crack is ok though. heard it here first, folks. tip your dealer on the way out.

Diet is huge. Eating lots and putting a strain on your system to digest disgusting shit. I bet money most of the immortals are vegan and don't eat a lot.

This explains the gaps.

Heroin is cool, though. Slows down the aging process.

Absolutely nothing to do with any kind of drama.

You would say that you fucking Xenu-denying bigot heretic scum ass bitch ass donkey.

it's vapid though so i'm okay with it.

"Its just a ball of dust, underneath my feet".

Dr here, the main reason Tom Cruise still looks youthful is because he steals the souls of his personal slaves in his Scientology enclave. The is done in a process by removing the pituitary glands of his slaves and consuming it after drying the gland out for a period of 5 days.

If you look at classic scientific literature for example, the Warhammer 40k codex, The Emperor of Mankind does similar with the constant need for the life force of his psykers.

"It's called sunscreen" yells r/skincareaddiction