Oh my God the title wasn't an exaggeration.

I am now deeply afraid to click this link.

A guy had a turkey baster full of Tanzanian hunter gatherer feces shot up his ass

Literally. This isn't an exaggeration, he actually does this and bicycles his legs so it really gets up there.

As is tradition...

AS THE SUN set over Lake Eyasi in Tanzania, nearly thirty minutes had passed since I had inserted a turkey baster into my bum and injected the feces of a Hadza man

Journalists, take note. This is how you start an article.

Ah fuck.

AS THE SUN set over Lake Eyasi in Tanzania, nearly thirty minutes had passed since I had inserted a turkey baster into my bum and injected the feces of a Hadza man – a member of one of the last remaining hunter-gatherers tribes in the world – into the nether regions of my distal colon. I struggled to keep my legs in the air with my toes pointing towards what I thought was the faint outline of the Southern Cross rising in the evening sky. With my hands under my hips – and butt perched against a large rock for support – I peddled an imaginary upside down bicycle in the air to pass the time as I struggled to make sure my new gut ecosystem stayed put inside me.

Yeah, because colon infections are exactly what seperates us from the bonobo.

Tanzania

That's all you need to know. Nothing good has come out of Tanzania since Australopithecus.

For an African country Tanzania isn't so bad. Their main issues is some ethnic groups killing albinos and the govt discriminating against gays. Otherwise its a ok. Unlike most african countries there are very little ethnic conflicts. No one gives a shit about you skin color, ethnicity, religion as long you are not gay or albino.

Also there isn't much violence. Its a super polite country, its like our version of Canada. Also very beautiful,

govt discriminating against gays.

wtf, I love Tanzania now. /s

don't worry, as a foreigner they won't bother

/s

get out

I’m sorry for being such a faggot.

Their main issues is some ethnic groups killing albinos

Finally, a country that can see the obvious truth that Albinos are witches.

(((Albinos))) are the crypto-mayos that inhabit the gene pool of even the most oppressed people of color.

Yakub was smart enough to make sure there was a mayo contingency plan even in the event of 100% mayocide.

Yakub truly was before his time.

i think they murder the albinos for spell ingredients for their own witchcraft, if i remember correctly. so essentially albinos are magical beings whose blood, bones, and semen can cure ebola and AIDS.

This can't fucking be real.

But it is interesting that I started shedding a few pounds for no apparent reason.

Colon cancer. RIP

There are some very good reasons to do a fecal transplant.

This guy did not have any of them.

Bored wypipo always go full retard.

very good reasons to do a fecal transplant

Only if you're gay.

Straight people can shit themselves to death due to a CDI infection, too. Fecal transplants are very effective in fixing that.

/end seriouspost

And here I thought fecal transplant was some kind of weird poop sex thing.

Yea it's weird as fuck and no one ever talks about it but it's a medically useful procedure. (When it's actually needed)

hmmm....Do hospitals/doctors pay for poop donations? If so, I should consider a possible career as a "poop donor".

I think they prefer to get stool samples from people who live with the patient because they likely have similar gut microbes.

Actually yeah: https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/speaking-of-science/wp/2015/08/31/heres-what-it-takes-to-be-the-perfect-poop-donor/?utm_term=.3e26078e96db

That is hysterical.

Your gut flora is surprisingly important. Seems that it has a fairly wide ranging impact on your life.

A wild Tapeworm appears!

If he's lucky. If he's unlucky, it's Ebola or Tuberculosis - can't wait for his blog update on that one.

Between Tide Pods, the Condom Challenge, and this new Fecal Banditry, the Darwin Awards look like they're going to have some pretty serious competition this year.

Why is it always the mayo who ends up doing this retarded shit

The retarded shit is always the propagated behavior of the mud

Tuberculosis and Ebola are not shed in feces. They spread via droplets and blood respectively; that said it is entirely possible this stool may have blood in it /shrug. I’m not sure if tapeworm droppings could be transmitted from butt to butt. Typically they attach to an upper part of the small intenstine. Moreover; if this was a tapeworm with a hexoxenous lifecycle the infectious material shed in feces wouldn’t cause in any detriment to humans (except cysticercosis)

Lol fecal banditry. Dibs on the band name.

UgandanKnucles.mp3

Nothing that serious, it's just AIDS.

And generally speaking you wouldn't want a transplant from a fucking Bushman.

I can get the interest of doing that experience (if only to be able to do it in reverse, to ensure that their microbial fauna is up to the task of eating modern food), but still the way it's written got me to say what the fresh fuck.

So you would travel across the world to shit up the ass's of the last Hazda?

Who wouldn't ?

Would you use an intermediary device or just go hole to hole?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dS2QwKRhnds

Purity in experience is important.

hole to hole of course.

))<>((

forever

I don't know why, but that's one of the funniest things I've ever read.

The way it's written is so unnecessarily and disgustingly vivid that it seems downright fetishy

it seems downright fetishy

Seem only?

"But everyone – including me – is hopeful that the idea that you can restore microbial diversity or otherwise improve dysbiosis in a sick gut with a donor stool is breathtaking."

He... hopes that the idea is breathtaking. What?

he does this quite a lot, he gets halfway through a sentence and forgets how he started it, or forgets what words mean or something lol

Diversity gone too far.

Ah yes. The quality content i come to this website for

amateur fecal transplants = reddit in a nutshell

Ah yes, the rare Wokeandan tribesman.

White people have no cult-

White people are always trying to appropriate our culture.

Jesus Christ.

isn't that how peanut butter was invented

So...he couldn't get any dick in Tanzania?

This is why we need mayocide.

This is your brain on anarco-primitivism. /u/Prince_Kropotkin how will your decentralized village manage shit distribution for all 150 members?

Jesus Christ dude just drink a fucking kombucha or something wtf.

Dafuq I’m not reading this Mayo noise. Where’s the sexy part involving shit and anus coming together as one?

They're romanticizing eating bush meat.

HIV jumped from monkeys to people because of that practice. Animals like gorillas are hunted to the brink of extinction for meat because of it.

It's also super icky and not at all gluten free.

There are no quotes. Deal with it.

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