It’s real and it’s spectacular

36  2018-04-12 by Strictlybutters

29 comments

1  Starship_Litterbox_B 2018-04-12

“He just rolled on, unprompted, explaining why it couldn’t possibly be true, ending by saying he was thinking of asking me to investigate the allegation to prove it was a lie. I said it was up to him.”

Holy shit, this is absolutely something only guilty people do.

1  Strictlybutters 2018-04-12

https://i.imgur.com/o5YCzTK.jpg

1  yourdeadwife 2018-04-12

Ask the FBI to investigate them?

1  scatmunchies 2018-04-12

No, blather on about they $100% did not do at all ever even a little, and how fucking crazy as that, without it even being a topic of conversation in the first place. Of course he’d never actually ask the FBI to investigate that.

1  PM_ME_UR_SUSPICIONS 2018-04-12

When youre the president and youre a moron and you expect the fbi to wink, laugh and say "lol, totally innocent." Yes.

1  Strictlybutters 2018-04-12

Imagine asking the acting FBI director to help reassure your wife that the rumors about you getting peed on by prostitutes in Moscow are false. I mean just think for a second about how preposterous that sounds lmao.

1  Starship_Litterbox_B 2018-04-12

Thank God like three other people replied, because I tried to think of a way to communicate to a retard something so obvious and simple.

1  yourdeadwife 2018-04-12

Ooga booga

1  Starship_Litterbox_B 2018-04-12

That your mom's safe word, or your daddy's country of origin? XD

1  yourdeadwife 2018-04-12

Yes duh

1  Starship_Litterbox_B 2018-04-12

#metoo

1  Kaladin_MemeBlessed 2018-04-12

Holy shit inshallah

1  yourdeadwife 2018-04-12

The man is a neurotic idiot so it seems pretty in character for him actually.

1  Strictlybutters 2018-04-12

Comey said he privately wondered why Melania might think there was even a 1 percent chance the allegations were true, claiming there is “zero chance” his own wife would believe such a claim.

”In what kind of marriage, to what kind of man, does a spouse conclude there is only a 99 percent chance her husband didn’t do that?” he writes in the book, which hits shelves April 17.

Comey probably has a dead bedroom and is a puritanical kinkshamer smh 🤦‍♀️

1  subpoutine 2018-04-12

Dude’s like 6’7”, can you really blame gussy like Patrice Failor for not wanting to have her cervix repeatedly pounded by Comey’s Corndog?

1  Strictlybutters 2018-04-12

I don’t know he managed to get away with packing that kind of heat in a non conceal carry municipality like DC.

1  Ed_ButteredToast 2018-04-12

** Comey is Daddy af!! ( ͡° ͜ʖ ) ͡°**

1  Nerdlinger 2018-04-12

I’d like to think my lady friend would believe reports of my having Russian hookers pee on things for me 100% without hesitation.

Unless they were reports of high-priced Russian hookers. That she’d know was fake.

1  Strictlybutters 2018-04-12

If the pee tape is real we should project it on the moon for the entire country to watch together

1  SAC-Lawn_Gnome 2018-04-12

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1  Ed_ButteredToast 2018-04-12

Holy shit where did you find this?????

1  SAC-Lawn_Gnome 2018-04-12

Googling ascii art, there's alot. Oh wait, I mean I made it myself.🤥

1  Ed_ButteredToast 2018-04-12

🤥

✡️️?

1  SAC-Lawn_Gnome 2018-04-12

Pinocchio

1  MagicHoudini 2018-04-12

I would be content with seeing it on my smartphone.

What times we live in

1  Matues49 2018-04-12

This is golden

1  dogDroolsCatsRules 2018-04-12

Comey said he privately wondered why Melania might think there was even a 1 percent chance the allegations were true, claiming there is “zero chance” his own wife would believe such a claim.

Imagine being such a bore that your SO wouldn't even envisage the possibility of you having done watersport.

1  444455555666666 2018-04-12

when you're as hung as Daddy Comey, even missionary becomes hardcore BDSM

1  Strictlybutters 2018-04-12

Trump's face "appeared slightly orange," Comey wrote, "with bright white half-moons under his eyes where I assumed he placed small tanning goggles." He also observed that Trump's hair "looked to be all his" and that his hands were "smaller than mine, but did not seem unusually so.”

Looks like Comey’s book it going to be all kinds of petty 😂

1  AlveolarPressure 2018-04-12

Comey is 6'7" so we can safely assume that Trump's hands would be smaller than his even if Trump had normal hands.

1  HydroDragon 2018-04-12

That's what makes it such a sick burn. It's an absolutely true statement.

1  Dropperneck 2018-04-12

Comey is a slimey shill. I don’t trust him anymore than his handlers.