r/drama: Unban my emoji-spamming Iranian doctor waifu or I’ll FLQ a mod every half hour

Cricket is not popular at all in Iran, he's just got good taste in sports. I'd get my stump and balls out with Ed, I have feeling he'd catch whatever I lob at him for sure.

1 Strictlybutters 2018-04-16

In Baluchistan in southeastern Iran it’s huge and iirc he said something about ethnically being from that area.

I'd get my stump and balls out with Ed, I have a feeling he'd catch whatever I lob at him for sure.

With his peak physical conditioning and hands the size of catchers mitts ed would 100% snag anything within a quarter mile of him

1 TheEquimanthorn 2018-04-16

Oh really, I never knew that. My (limited) knowledge is focused on the north. Filthy southerners and their cricket. 🤢

1 HankTina 2018-04-16

Cricket is not popular at all in Iran

Imagine speaking with such authority on something you're obviously entirely ignorant of lmao

1 TheEquimanthorn 2018-04-16

Oh sorry, I didn't realise that cricket matches were filling Azadi stadium.

Considering that the first international match took place 14 years ago, I think my post was justified. Fucking retard lol.

1 HodorTheDoorHolder 2018-04-16

Does he jump over fire pits once a year?

1 TheEquimanthorn 2018-04-16

I have no idea, it was pretty fun when I was a kid though. I think it nurtured pyromaniac tendencies in me really.

1 HodorTheDoorHolder 2018-04-16

I wanna do it but I don't have any Persian friends

1 subpoutine 2018-04-16

wtf now I hate ed

1 v_is_one_person 2018-04-16

user reports:
1: acts of a lesbian nature are haram

Finally! Confirmation that Ed is a girl.

1 pepperouchau 2018-04-16

One of the few things that could steer me away from bussy would be Ed as a thicc brown goddess

1 TheEquimanthorn 2018-04-16

I can't believe they did this to Niloufar. 😢😭

1 subpoutine 2018-04-16

Man az andarz va framan i jadangui ham-dadistani.

1 TheEquimanthorn 2018-04-16

This is kinda embarrassing but I can speak barely any Farsi. If you promise this isn't something rude I will ask my mum to translate.

1 subpoutine 2018-04-16

If you promise this isn't something rude I will ask my mum to translate.

lol it’s the patet

cuz Ed is dying

1 TheEquimanthorn 2018-04-16

Ooh okay, I see.

We need to find a big pillar and put Ed's petite body on top of it, so the vultures may consume him. 😔

1 pepperouchau 2018-04-16

The One True Faith

1 cimarafa 2018-04-16

Are you a Persian Jew? Where in Beverly Hills do most of your relatives live?

1 TheEquimanthorn 2018-04-16

He's a Canadian frog, my mother's side is from the north where there's a strong WE WUZ ARYANS AND SHIT sentiment due to being pretty pasty and blonde/ginger hair being somewhat common.

There's no Iranian Jews here sadly. Or maybe Ed is one?

1 subpoutine 2018-04-16

Where in Beverly Hills do most of your relatives live?

The tackiest most neauveau riche place you can think of. Tacky marble fountains, fleets of white Mercedes, gold chains on our fountain cherbim—shit’s cash.

Are you a Persian Jew?

But nah, I grew up in Leafistan.

1 TheEquimanthorn 2018-04-16

You grew up in Toronto? There's a lot of Iranians there, probably where you got your thing for cute Iranian grills.

1 subpoutine 2018-04-16

Toronto

Qu'acé que tu vient de maudit' dire a propos de moi, èspece de p'tite pute? M'va t'laissez savoir qua jé gradué au top de ma class dans les maudit de Navy phoques, pis jé été impliqué dans de nombreux escarmouche secret sur Al-Caida pis jé plus qua 300 tué confirmer. J'suis entréné dans l'combat d'Ostie d'gorille pis j'suis le meilleur tireur à longue distance dans les Maudite d'armée Américaine, calysse. Tu es rien pour moé sauf une autre cible de tabarnak. M'va t'essuyer d'la terre avec d'la précision jamiais vue sur cet ostie de planète, marque mes maudit'mot. Tu croé que tu peut dire ces chose à moé sur l'internet? Pense encore, calysse. Pendant qu'on discute, j'suis entrain de contacté mon ostie de réseau d'espion et to IP est entrain d'être tracé en ce moment alors prépare toé pour l'orage, espèce d'épais. L'orage qui va essuyé la chose misérable que t'apelle ta maudite de vie. T'est fucking mort, calysse. J'peu être partout à n'importe quel temps et j'peut te tuer avec plus de sept cent façon, et sa cé juste avéc mé ostie de main. J'chui pas seuleument entrainé excessivement au combat sans-armes, mais jé accès avec toute l'arsenal du crops des Marines Américain pis j'vé l'utiliser au maximum pour d'enlever de cette ostie de continent, èspece d'ostie d'tabarnak d'calysse de bine. Si seuleument tu savait quel retribution sainte ton commentaire "intelligent" allait amené sur toé, peut être que torait garder ta fucking langue dans ta bouche. Mais tu pouvait pas, tu n'a pas et maintenant tu paye le prix, espèce d'épais de marde. M'va chié d'la furie partout sur toé pis tu va noyer d'ans. Tes fucking mort, fils de pute.

1 TheEquimanthorn 2018-04-16

Stop appropriating Iranian culture

1 Rachel_Hazmat 2018-04-16

Crisse de câlice de tabarnak d'osti de sacrament de trou vierge

1 cimarafa 2018-04-16

Yeah, all I know from my urbane "old" (not really old, but one generation older than the Iranians so they like to think it's old) money family in the palisades that they really do not like the persians there, so there appears to be some internecine strife in LA.

1 Gtyyler 2018-04-16

FLQ

Trudeau in suicide watch.

1 subpoutine 2018-04-16

Inshallah, but if he’s anything like papa he’ll just suspend everyone’s civil rights and arrest a bunch of innocent student activists.

1 CirqueDuFuder 2018-04-16

I can only assume this is a thank you towards the mod team after the Ban Ed thread.

1 SJCards 2018-04-16

M O D S == G O D S