every time I get summoned here, I have a quick look around and find that this place gets worse and worse, it's like a black hole which mangles everything that gets sucked into it. src

Snapshots:

1. This Post - archive.org, megalodon.jp*, removeddit.com, archive.is

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/u/veronicaxdyer I'll pay you 20 dollars if you show your peer reviewed research. I'll pay you an additional 5 for a half and half.

/u/veronicaxdyer I will unironically fly you out to the Bay Area if you post proof of doing sexy cleaning and will agree to do sexy espresso making. I have a 2,900 sq. ft. house that needs a full weekend of work and my wife is on travel. Which means I can’t draw the espresso and would gladly pay for someone to do it in a seductive and sexy manner.

Post pics, rates, and let’s talk.

Define proof. And I can make anything look sexy. Even rubber gloves. Seriously, that's a request I've gotten. Cooking is no problem, I just don't do bacon without proper protection. Depends on the car. I don't do fish. It bugs me when my fingers get all pruney. The home gym would be no problem though, I'm guessing like most Americans you probably don't use it.

ヽ༼ ຈل͜ຈ༽ ﾉ Raise ur dongers!

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There are a ton actually, and not just in Edmonton. It's crazy how many panty ads you'll find in every city around the world (well, except the US now that it's illegal to not be moral, or something).

How many pegging requests do you usually get?

Far too many.

And how many of those requests do you grant? 😏

Zero. Zilch. Nadda. None. Lots of hopefuls, but I have a pet that takes care of my needs.

Honest question. Why are you so opposed to pegging? It seems to me that the guy is put in the more uncomfortable position when he asks to be pegged.

Who wants to plow mussy? Gross bro. 🤢

I dunno, putting a random closeted self-hating guy in that position seems like an above-average way to get a violent outburst.

Yeah, I see that, especially if he finds out he doesn't like it half way through.

Do you sell panties with discharge in them? If yes - ew.

That is only the beginning of some people's requests...

Have you ever shit your panties? Is there anything pantie related you won't do? Tell me your most disgusting one.

Lol no, but there is a surprising amount of requests for all kinds of stains - that included. And yes, there are things I just won't do. Most esoteric? Probably giving someone instructions for what to do with my panties when they got home. Oh and another one had something to do with yellow rubber gloves haha

I'll give you 1000 dollars if you shit your panties, but instead of sending me them just sit there with them on for a couple of seconds and reflect on your life.

Haha, the fact that you think this is my actual job is pretty funny. Tell you what, why don't you keep your $1000 and shit in your own panties. Are you still wearing the pink ones I sold you last week?

The fact that you willingly sell your soiled underwear is pretty funny regardless. No, you've got me confused with someone else I think. I only wear adult diapers, for utilitarian reasons. Are you interested in taking them off my hands? 20 bux a pop madame.

People have fetishes. Some people have a fetish for feet, tits, asses, you name it. I don't hold it against them. If I can help them out plus make a few bucks on the side while doing it, then I'm happy. And I think you're confusing me as someone who gives a shit what small minded people like you think 😘. Take care ✌️

Don't be mad. I was only joking around. It's just such a funny and unusual subject. Your hobby literally involves staining cloth with your unwashed asshole and vaginal excretions and selling said cloth off to the highest bidder. You have to understand it raises a few eyebrows. Do whatever you want, I just appreciate the humor in it.

Live well :)

Lol, I'm not mad, just blunt is all. And yes, it is strange, but again, I'm not judging - the human race is a whole lot of weird, I just try to embrace it. And sorry, with all of the dicks out there it's hard to know who's trolling or not.

She might be advertising them as table cloths?

I’ll accept full body shots. Nudity not required. Face not required. But in case of catfish please be holding today’s newspaper or one of those /r/gonewikd type signs with username, the date, and your hourly rate.

Who needs protection for bacon??

You will need it for the dogs, don’t worry though it will be supplied. It’s leather armor and despite his best efforts Maximus (the Chow) has not yet bitten through. You will need to mind your heels around the corgis. They nip. Work boots available on request.

Cars: one Mercedes GLK, one Mercedes E-350, one Ford Raptor, and two Corvettes.

The Koi will seriously need groomed though, if you have references that would be fantastic.

Gardening/yardwork, can you do that in lingerie or just go with jeans?

Home gym: unlike most America’s I have a healthy life of working out and cardio. Don’t worry, you’re not expected to contribute to the cardio part. Just clean the place and spot me in case of mistake.

Also, would this be a weekend or do you think additional time is needed? I’m talking deep cleaning type of deal, not some light dust removal. Wifey has been gone for two weeks and the place needs a lot of love.

Anyway thanks, you’re a lifesaver. Quote me a rate and you can stay in the guest bedroom.

Newspaper? What, are you 90? Or should I hold up an iPad with the a screenshot of the front page of The New York Times photoshopped onto it? Bacon - sizzling droplets of nastiness. You've obviously never fried bacon in the nude before, although oven bacon is actually far superior. Cars: Germans, yes, domestics, I'll think about it. For the gardening, I have a solution...denim lingerie. For a deep clean, just rent me a pressure washer and a bottle of vinegar. It always washes away the stench of male desperation. I'd think for about $5,000 (above travel costs), we could probably make this happen.

No, I’m a lawyer who retains the quintessential snobbery required for the obscene fees I charge my clients. And the Sunday paper pairs nicely with my scone and coffee.

Oven bacon is the only bacon that matters. And why would I cook anything in the nude? Ain’t no one wanna see dat.

It’s not really domestic to you since you’re the import from Edmonton, no?

We can negotiate the denim lingerie. That doesn’t sound amusing. I’m thinking Daisy Duke here and that’s just killing the buzz.

Swear to god, you clean the carpet with a pressure washer and there will be blood when the hausfrau returns.

$5,000, that’s it? No, but I’m being serious here, the actual cleaning/gardening company quoted me $10k and a week. Except the fish. No one wants to clean those fuckers. And the dog sitter won’t clean the Chow because of the dislocated shoulder from last time.

Male desperstion 🤣 hey if I’m gonna pay for the place to be cleaned, I deserve a view. Why not employ the struggling Canadian sex market?

Woah, who said it's struggling ;). I'd think a gentleman from SF searching for some Canadian tail might indicate it's the SF market that needs a bit of a tune up. But, Canadian bunnies have always been known for their quality. Funny thing, I actually have denim lingerie. It was a gift, and I've only worn it once, to take a photo for my sexy cleaning business. I should also mention that sexy cleaning and panties is merely a pastime.

Hey, novelty sells. Can’t get Canadians here, you’re advertising on reddit of all places, I think there’s a bit of a struggle on both fronts.

And SF is not the Bay Area. No you won’t be going to the most retarded place in California. Marin County please and thank you. Where we don’t vaccinate our free range children 🧐 (actual fact, look it up).

I am however still awaiting proof. We can all accept denim lingerie but I retain doubts. La Perla is generally my preference but w/e. Your body, your choice. Or something.

So if sexy cleaning and panty sales are the pastime, why’s the full time job? Prostitution or accounting?

Prostitution or accounting? Is there really a difference?!? ;).

Prostitutes charge less.

I can't think of the last time I left my accountant's office with a smile...

The pimp in accounting has a JD.

Honestly, ever since I discovered that costco sells huge bags of pre-cooked bacon, I've never looked back. Heating up perfectly microwaved bacon in a couple of seconds is the superior man's method.

denim lingerie

Canadian confirmed.

Lol, that's actually funny. It was really more of a spandex that looked like denim - but you know, gotta stay true to our roots 😜

I seriously wish I could post a picture of it here. It's really something special.

I'm sure it's a welcome change from the flannel lingerie and mountie outfits.

Depends how cold it is outside. No one likes to get stabbed by icy blade nipples. Flannel for women is like athletic tape for marathon runners.

I can make anything look sexy.

Ok, make all incels sexy and everyone will finally be happy.

Yep, I can admit when I'm beat. That is something I cannot do. Poor woman who has that job.

She's busy doing an r/amiugly thing and shutting down everyone that tells her she's not iirc.

Of course you are blonde and an idiot

This is the most well thought out response I've read in a long, long time. Thank you for your contribution to this wonderful conversation!

This level of banter

Dude, you'd fit in perfectly here.

Buuuuuuuurn

This bunny's got claws!

🐇😈

This, but unironically.

Hey she responded, so let’s see how far the ride can go.

What's up with everyone confusing hookers for researchers these days?

Go to a university and find a research assistant. Offer him/her 1,000 bucks for sex.

Now ask yourself what the difference is.

The difference is 975 bucks.

It's not because it's true that you should say it.png

These days?

Brah, The Seniors came out back in 1978.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Seniors

The Seniors

The Seniors (sometimes The Senior or simply Seniors) is a 1978 American comedy film about four college seniors who open a bogus sex clinic, which unexpectedly mushrooms into a multimillion-dollar business. Directed by Rod Amateau, the films features Dennis Quaid in one of his earliest roles and Alan Reed (the original voice of Fred Flintstone) in his final film appearance.

^{[ PM | Exclude me | Exclude from subreddit | FAQ / Information | Source ] Downvote to remove | v0.28}

Hey dude, I know it's weird I'm commenting on a 5-month-old comment, but this is the only reference to The Seniors that I've seen anywhere on reddit. It is one of my absolute favorite movies, and I have to thank you just for knowing it. Love you.

No deal. You pay me $400 and I'll give you a semester of Double Standards in the Modern Age, and you couldn't afford the half and half.

does Popeye know you're turning tricks?

Why are so many whores man haters? Did daddy fuck them?

what's with all these whores thinking they are actual people with valid opinions lately?

Bunny Ranch must’ve hade a jail break.

I know, right? Just shut up and be pretty!

Thank you! I know right?

Yeah, they should just learn to accept that they're objects

wow too far man

This is /r/drama, nothing's too far if it's ironic

Thank you! I know right?

>pretty whores

look at mr moneybags here

Something something labour party

Literally their entire purpose is their nasty wholes

Hooker with o pinions.

But what about the free market???!!!!

Backpage got shut the fuck down is what happened.

more like the flea market in this case amirite

Is that where ancaps buy and sell children?

If I ever hired a hooker, I'd want her to shut the fuck up and do her job but this one seems unable. Will look elsewhere for my Edmonton hooker needa