UPDATE: So I decided to do the right thing. Despite the conclusion so many people jumped to, I'm actually a genuine and sweet person, and that's probably why I bond so easily.
I had to think about how difficult it is to find a quality man, and how much of a leap of faith it is to marry someone and especially to have kids with them. Extremely difficult, of course, and I couldn't live with myself if I ruined that for his wife (who's really such an ideal woman. I'd put more detail but I don't wanna make this too identifiable). Someone commented that even if nothing inappropriate happened (unlikely), she would still see it as such if she found out and it would really hurt her. Thank you for making that point.
I waited for him to message something flirty to me, and then confronted him with the fact that if his wife ever found out about our "friendship" she'd be crushed. Sent him a gif of that Margot Robbie scene where she tells Leo "we're not gonna be friends" in wolf of wall street, and then let him vent a bit about how strong of an attraction he feels towards me. In response I brought up our shared Jewish faith and told him I think everything happens for a reason, and G*d could've sent a homewrecker who would've done anything he wanted to get to his money, but instead He sent him me, someone with integrity who'd help him talk through his cheating urge rather than indulging it. He responded very well, thanked me, and that was it for now!
At the end of the day, I'll never be certain that he won't just find another girl to cheat with, but I have a gut feeling he won't. Both of us sounded like huge assholes in the post I wrote, but we're just two people who really clicked personality-wise and unfortunately share a fetish for that older guy/younger girl "sugar daddy" dynamic. I really wish him the best, I'll pray for he and his wife, and I won't put myself in that situation again. Hopefully in the future, if/when my husband strays a bit (almost all men do), the blessing will come back to me and whatever unsuspecting woman he bumps into will try her best to whip him back into place for me as well.
:)
He told me he was single and took me out for an incredible, ridiculously priced dinner for our first date. Both of us were incredibly smitten with each other. He has a great personality and he's my ideal guy looks-wise (i have a weird fetish for 30/40 year old guys :/ ). Anyway, I did some internet sleuthing and found out he's actually married and his wife had just given birth!! A few weeks and an apology later, he asked to see me again when I get back to school from the summer. he wants to "mentor" me, he "just needs a friend" (wall street type, claims he doesn't have anyone to just relax with), and he wants to show me his favorite places in the city.
Asked /r/relationship_advice what to do, and everyone said dump him. I blocked him for a few weeks, but messaged him again last night. it was a relief that he didn't freak out or try and hunt me down when i just dropped off the face of the earth, so i trust him more now. Honestly, he's awesome. He swears he's not expecting anything inappropriate, but he'll say things like "oh was that a tease?" (in response to a snapchat) or "I can't wait for you to get back, although it sucks that you're like my forbidden fruit" so it's very clearly at the back of his mind, and I feel like he's trying to get me to make a (sexual) move first, which I won't.
I guess my first question is am I a bad person for accepting his request to be friends? I'm sure his wife wouldn't be happy about him being friends with a teenager to whom he's sexually attracted, but at the end of the day if I'm not doing anything inappropriate with him I feel like my conscience is clean?
Also how do I navigate this? I feel like I'm beating a dead horse when I keep asking him to promise no personal lives will get involved with our "friendship" (there's a lot of potential for burning on both sides), and when I repeat to him that there will be nothing sexual because he's married and a father, but things like that keep creeping back into our conversations because there's a lot of natural chemistry between us. I don't want to just block him again because he can make my life better in a lot of ways (including expensive food and fun I couldn't afford on my own, amazing conversation with someone who's actually mature and knows what they're talking about, and career connections). What should I do
Sent him a gif of that Margot Robbie scene where she tells Leo "we're not gonna be friends" in wolf of wall street, and then let him vent a bit about how strong of an attraction he feels towards me. In response I brought up our shared Jewish faith and told him I think everything happens for a reason, and G*d could've sent a homewrecker who would've done anything he wanted to get to his money, but instead He sent him me, someone with integrity who'd help him talk through his cheating urge rather than indulging it.
You see other women as hating you, because you're projecting your own feelings about women onto them. Additionally, it's easier to believe people you hate, hate you back, rather than that they don't, cause if it's a one-way hate then you'd feel more guilty.
Cheating is just a shit thing to do in general, I'd hold guys to the same standards there as women. They all need to take a baseball bat to their kneecaps.
As for eating disorders, I just wish most people had a more healthy relationship with food. On the one hand you have lots of fatties who eat way too much, on the other these anorexic girls who are literally starving themselves. Both is unhealthy (and also unattractive, while I like skinny girls there's a difference between that and being anorexic).
but my mom keeps trying to convince me that I need to develop a taste for black men because that's all who will want to actually marry me.
Her mom is definitely racist, because this implies that only niggers are retarded enough to marry someone, while it's statistically proven that no matter the skin colour, e.g. mayos, degenerates still marry enslave themselves for retards, a.k.a. women.
But disclaimer i'm not a wild animal, i'm not just going to impulsively throw my vagina at him, and i'm not expecting or even remotely hoping for him to leave his wife for me. I'm well aware that I am 21 years younger than him and he has a child. i just really like spending time with him, he gives great advice, and eating at the nicest restaurants doesn't hurt.
/u/carlisam9797 that's the only thing women are good for though, what else do you have to offer?
21 comments
1 IAintThatGuy 2018-05-23
UPDATE: So I decided to do the right thing. Despite the conclusion so many people jumped to, I'm actually a genuine and sweet person, and that's probably why I bond so easily.
I had to think about how difficult it is to find a quality man, and how much of a leap of faith it is to marry someone and especially to have kids with them. Extremely difficult, of course, and I couldn't live with myself if I ruined that for his wife (who's really such an ideal woman. I'd put more detail but I don't wanna make this too identifiable). Someone commented that even if nothing inappropriate happened (unlikely), she would still see it as such if she found out and it would really hurt her. Thank you for making that point.
I waited for him to message something flirty to me, and then confronted him with the fact that if his wife ever found out about our "friendship" she'd be crushed. Sent him a gif of that Margot Robbie scene where she tells Leo "we're not gonna be friends" in wolf of wall street, and then let him vent a bit about how strong of an attraction he feels towards me. In response I brought up our shared Jewish faith and told him I think everything happens for a reason, and G*d could've sent a homewrecker who would've done anything he wanted to get to his money, but instead He sent him me, someone with integrity who'd help him talk through his cheating urge rather than indulging it. He responded very well, thanked me, and that was it for now!
At the end of the day, I'll never be certain that he won't just find another girl to cheat with, but I have a gut feeling he won't. Both of us sounded like huge assholes in the post I wrote, but we're just two people who really clicked personality-wise and unfortunately share a fetish for that older guy/younger girl "sugar daddy" dynamic. I really wish him the best, I'll pray for he and his wife, and I won't put myself in that situation again. Hopefully in the future, if/when my husband strays a bit (almost all men do), the blessing will come back to me and whatever unsuspecting woman he bumps into will try her best to whip him back into place for me as well.
:)
He told me he was single and took me out for an incredible, ridiculously priced dinner for our first date. Both of us were incredibly smitten with each other. He has a great personality and he's my ideal guy looks-wise (i have a weird fetish for 30/40 year old guys :/ ). Anyway, I did some internet sleuthing and found out he's actually married and his wife had just given birth!! A few weeks and an apology later, he asked to see me again when I get back to school from the summer. he wants to "mentor" me, he "just needs a friend" (wall street type, claims he doesn't have anyone to just relax with), and he wants to show me his favorite places in the city.
Asked /r/relationship_advice what to do, and everyone said dump him. I blocked him for a few weeks, but messaged him again last night. it was a relief that he didn't freak out or try and hunt me down when i just dropped off the face of the earth, so i trust him more now. Honestly, he's awesome. He swears he's not expecting anything inappropriate, but he'll say things like "oh was that a tease?" (in response to a snapchat) or "I can't wait for you to get back, although it sucks that you're like my forbidden fruit" so it's very clearly at the back of his mind, and I feel like he's trying to get me to make a (sexual) move first, which I won't.
I guess my first question is am I a bad person for accepting his request to be friends? I'm sure his wife wouldn't be happy about him being friends with a teenager to whom he's sexually attracted, but at the end of the day if I'm not doing anything inappropriate with him I feel like my conscience is clean?
Also how do I navigate this? I feel like I'm beating a dead horse when I keep asking him to promise no personal lives will get involved with our "friendship" (there's a lot of potential for burning on both sides), and when I repeat to him that there will be nothing sexual because he's married and a father, but things like that keep creeping back into our conversations because there's a lot of natural chemistry between us. I don't want to just block him again because he can make my life better in a lot of ways (including expensive food and fun I couldn't afford on my own, amazing conversation with someone who's actually mature and knows what they're talking about, and career connections). What should I do
1 SAC-Lawn_Gnome 2018-05-23
/u/carlisam9797 post history is a gold mine
Your mom sounds crazy here, fyi
You see other women as hating you, because you're projecting your own feelings about women onto them. Additionally, it's easier to believe people you hate, hate you back, rather than that they don't, cause if it's a one-way hate then you'd feel more guilty.
Assuming they're not a troll of course.
1 IAintThatGuy 2018-05-23
This one is a gem :
https://old.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/8lf1zp/400_pound_man_told_me_he_wouldnt_date_a_fat_girl/
1 YameteOniichanItai 2018-05-23
sounds like one stable individual that girl
I'm still pissed that a sub that is literally called pro Eating Disorder is allowed on this website.
1 IAintThatGuy 2018-05-23
Are you kidding? It's awesome to know at least one mostly female subreddit is not made up of a majority of hambeasts.
1 HodorTheDoorHolder 2018-05-23
Are you a girl?
1 YameteOniichanItai 2018-05-23
Cheating is just a shit thing to do in general, I'd hold guys to the same standards there as women. They all need to take a baseball bat to their kneecaps.
As for eating disorders, I just wish most people had a more healthy relationship with food. On the one hand you have lots of fatties who eat way too much, on the other these anorexic girls who are literally starving themselves. Both is unhealthy (and also unattractive, while I like skinny girls there's a difference between that and being anorexic).
1 PurpleIcy 2018-05-23
Her mom is definitely racist, because this implies that only niggers are retarded enough to marry someone, while it's statistically proven that no matter the skin colour, e.g. mayos, degenerates still
marryenslave themselves for retards, a.k.a. women.1 mcslibbin 2018-05-23
oof, she sucks
1 YameteOniichanItai 2018-05-23
That married man's name? Kevin Spacey.
1 Che_Gueporna 2018-05-23
Naw, this actually sounds legit.
Most likely the dude is fucking other chicks anyway now that his young piece of ass is off the market.
1 YameteOniichanItai 2018-05-23
legit but also the script of American Beauty.
I hope the dude gets exposed for being a cheating pos eventually.
1 PurpleIcy 2018-05-23
But disclaimer i'm not a wild animal, i'm not just going to impulsively throw my vagina at him, and i'm not expecting or even remotely hoping for him to leave his wife for me. I'm well aware that I am 21 years younger than him and he has a child. i just really like spending time with him, he gives great advice, and eating at the nicest restaurants doesn't hurt.
/u/carlisam9797 that's the only thing women are good for though, what else do you have to offer?
1 aqouta 2018-05-23
Linking old.Reddit 😴😴😴
1 IAintThatGuy 2018-05-23
It's her most retarded and openly dramatic post. She's still active. Some dramanauts already mined her history for sweet retardation.
1 IAintThatGuy 2018-05-23
I don't like things changing.
1 aqouta 2018-05-23
Your link breaks mobile browsers when you could just change your Reddit settings like some who is not a complete moron.
1 IAintThatGuy 2018-05-23
Then it's an added benefit.
1 INCELIUS-DANKUS 2018-05-23
updated :)
1 Chicup 2018-05-23
You're a crazy bitch but you fuck so good I'm on top of it.
1 rnjbond 2018-05-23
Updated :)
1 carlisam9797 2018-05-23
this is so awful :(