I can only confidently guarantee that the prostitute you end up making tender love to (lol) will shower longer than she usually does after your 5 shameful minutes of disappointing her

Snapshots:

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They elected a former Democrat, Jew, and a fetish enthusiast?

Fuck, what was the other Republican, a Marxist?

Most All.

FTFY

They don't call it Misery for nothing.

"Missouri loves company."

t. Missouri Board of Tourrorism

He was a Navy Seal so that sort of balances out the first two and the third one is probably a plus tbh.

“DAE enjoy smacking the missus? Boy howdy will you like this guy.”

What the fuck did you just say about Eric Greitens, you little shit

People vote almost 100% on party lines. It's why guys like Trump win elections.

Or that fucking crazy ass black sheriff that ran as a democrat every election even though he was clearly a republican.

As long as he had a D next to his name, he could keep winning.

Yes but in this case I specifically asked who the other Republican was, since I’m hoping in their primary period there was more than one R candidate.

I actually worded it poorly. I meant general election, the primary is the hard part, yeah.

The other Repulican in the primary is his current criminal lawyer.

It's been over a century and somehow we haven't dealt with a commie in power that got there through gritting their teeth and playing a party line. If that's not the ultimate proof that hard leftists are mostly dimwits I don't know what is.

He has a dumb edgy campaign ad where he waved an AR-15 around.

I guarantee you most Missourians don't even know that he is both Jewish and a former Democrat. They just know that he's a former SEAL, likes to shoot guns, and there was an R next to his name on the ballot.

I expect /u/annoysthegoys to correct this pronto.

Changing my name to Washington Bartlett III

hey let us pretend we swing

hey come on, we swing, our last governor was a (D)!

named Nixon though, I can see how people got confused

Can't a man rape in his own home and use it as blackmail in peace? He's a navy seal! The press are anti American for not supporting our troops.

This but unironically. Also, hot.

When Sen. Rob Schaaf filibustered legislation Greitens wanted, A New Missouri - a non-profit that was created to support Greitens and is housed in the same building as Greitens’ campaign - tweeted out Schaaf’s personal cell phone number.

lol

Greitens is a Jew, so you aren't wrong. Have a cracker!

after a ruling by a Cole County judge forcing...Greitens to reveal fundraising information to a special House committee

Typical PRR's 😏

If anyone hasn't heard of this scandal before and is interested in reading about it, here are some related /r/drama threads:

• Jesus Freak Governor Apparently got a bit "freaky" with his mistress.. Oops?

• BREAKING: Governor BDSM ARRESTED for invasion of privacy! Oh noes, another good family values republican bites the dust!

• Governor BDSM is NOT resigning & doubles down on Facebook. Comments section is a lolrus colony. CONFIRMED: Missouri is retarded.

• Republican governor, overcome with Christlike family values, beats and rapes his mistress

• Greitens case DROPPED and pigs open perjury investigation into the prosecution.

:^)

His campaign commericals were him shooting machine guns. Which admittedly made me torn on if he earned my vote.