This, but unironically.

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Dinosaurs 🦖 will penetrate the White House when the convergence of the plasma fold begins

when the convergence of the plasma fold begins

Lolwut

When the convergence of the plasma fold BEGINS! Not at the end, not during it, but at the very start of it

😴😴😴

You are the hero the USA deserves.

They were already in a "music" sex tape video together, naked so, it's not like they don't know each other.

Kanye is unironically going to run for president.

No doubt only question is running mate, Kanye-Rock 2024, unstoppable.

Chris Rock? Damn right.

No no The Rock, can't see Chris Rock running as a republican.

Kid Rock

Do you think Republican voters would accept him? I can't believe I'm asking this.

Do you think Republican voters would accept him? I can't believe I'm asking this.

They were fine with Ben Carson. Chris Rock would just be a louder, in-your-face version of Ben Carson, at least to the average republican.

IDK usually picking a more charismatic VP who is better spoken, more attractive, and much taller than you results in people wondering why he isn't the one on the top of the ticket.

Last one jumped the shark man, we are way fucking past usual at this point.

We are super past usual but I feel that rule probably still applies regardless of whether the candidate's an outsider. It's not like Pence was a super unconventional VP choice, he gave the ticket executive experience and kept the fundies in line.

Hell, Clinton's VP pick was more unconventional than Trump's since Kaine balanced out absolutely none of her myriad flaws and was probably only on the ticket because he stepped down as DNC chair mid-term to give the job to her former campaign manager.

I will definitely bow to your wisdom as I burger politics makes fuck all sense to me. But still I want to see VP Rock.

Nah, have him lead the ticket and then Kanye gets to employ the Cheney effect of being the unhinged crazy VP that makes no one want to assassinate the Rock.

I think she picked him because she knew he wasn’t a threat. Nobody would be talking about him, no one would listen to him, and the spotlight would still be on her.

So Kanye/Kanye.

Personally, I'm favoring Stormy as his VP.

It coincided with the ever more conspicuous absence of the President’s wife, Melania, who hasn’t been seen in public for nearly three weeks, following a hospital stay.

He hit her

I didn’t even consider that. But don’t you think his arms are so fat it would be like hitting someone with a pillow?

What would be the secret services responsibility during a white house domestic be?

to keep their fucking mouths shut

To the President obviously. First Lady is just his fuck buddy not an important person

How old is Melania? She had surgery like a month ago. Old people need more time to heal. Why is everyone ignoring this very obvious thing and trying to make a conspiracy theory out of it? Is this the new "Bush did 9/11?" Are we gonna have a "Free Melania" hashtag?

no it's just funny

https://www.newyorker.com/contributors/naomi-fry

So this is what happens when a Tumblrina gets a real job at a real publication.

That chick can't write for shit. Between the superfluously grandiose verbiage and the aggressive scenery chewing it reminds of something I would have had to workshop in a 100 level creative writing class.

Nah she can obviously write, it’s just undisciplined

That chick can't write for shit. Between the superfluously grandiose verbiage and the aggressive scenery chewing it reminds of something I would have had to workshop in a 100 level creative writing class.

Have you never seen an article from The New Yorker before today? That was a fairly decent pastiche of a New Yorker article. The publications if fairly well known for it's policy of "make sure to use fifteen words when five will do," making mountains out of molehills, and shameless navel-gazing. You could almost smell the hot smug and undeserved self-satisfaction wafting off of it like it was a barge in the East River in the middle of August.

wafting off of it like it was a barge in the East River in the middle of August.

I've never even been to the States but that metaphor was really amazing and worked well even for me. Nice.

Whenever I hear someone write or speak the words “pee tape”, I can’t take anything they say seriously ever again.

hmmmmmm

Something something with fire.

Why are the people who write these things always so...unfuckable? Are incels taking over everything? First it was mass shootings, now it's pretentious magazine articles. Why are we letting people who can't even get laid take the lead on so many important things in our society?

Why is it a nightmare? Nixon had Elvis in the White House. Obama had a basketball team do a meme with him in the White House. Who cares if celebrities stop on by the White House to hang out with the current president?

It's Current Year +3 and everything the president does is bad, no matter how much precedent exists in the historical record.

I doubt anybody asked Marilyn Monroe for her opinion on criminal justice.

Not a lot of presidents had an attorney general with a retarded enough opinion re: criminal justice that a Kardashian had a decent chance at presenting a more reasonable plan.

It's probably more the seeking political advice from here.

He asked her political advice?

yeah read the original tweet

no

Wait, now we’re getting ass-mad about celebrities in the White House?

ORANGED

KIMMY VISITED THE WHITE HOUSE IM SCARED! 😨😨😨😨😱😱😱😱😱

Kim Kardashian is kanyes wife? Lol no wonder he's going crazy

The real nightmare is Kim probably had better policy proposals for prison reform than the current Attorney General.

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Daily reminder that these articles are for 23-35 year old white women who will smile inwardly as they click subscribe and imagine themselves going to brunch with that New Yorker tote bag.

He has a shit-eating grinn because he knew about all the articles that will come up.

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