Terrible Remake of Heathers is cancelled before its first episode

70  2018-06-02 by Humorlessness

76 comments

Your condescending, contradictory bullshit isn't attractive to anyone except your frothing, basement-dwelling, virgin army.

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As we all know, if you have a show with a school shooting in it, it will simply cause more school shootings.

I played god of war last night and really feel like axing things. Was going to ax stuff but when I switched to mario kart it was like I suddenly changed my mind and wanted to ride go karts. The power of tv and video games.

Well let me ax you this: Why did you switch to Mario Kart?

I really didn't switch. I was just trying to throw off the FBI. I'm really sharpening my ax. The video games made me do it.

I like to throw my hatchet at trees in my yard to try and make it stick. Once you get the rotation down, it's actually pretty easy and accurate. Armed with a dozen hatchets, I imagine I could clear out a sizable number of enemies. My point is, gun control isn't going to keep you safe from me.

I don't remember playing fucking your mom simulator though??šŸ¤”šŸ¤”šŸ¤”šŸ¤”šŸ¤”

If everybody could be a pilot there would be no flight sims.

Arenā€™t flight sims for learning to be pilot?

I couldnā€™t imagine someone playing one for fun

I couldnā€™t imagine someone playing one for fun

Never underestimate my autism, fam.

It's a hobby for lots of people and they spend ridiculous amounts of money on it. This is a hobby rig for example. Each to their own I guess, and if the pilot on their flight dies they might be able to land the plain, so that's good.

jesus

mohammed

A lot of fat people with eyesight too poor to be a pilot just play flight sims all day

heh

I used to play on the shitty one in Google earth.

I couldnā€™t imagine someone playing one for fun

Some people fly planes for fun, this is the version less likely to kill you.

I broke both my arms and I'm practically a master at it

I knew I shouldn't have read Lolita back back then as a senior.

Inshallah

>implying teens dont deserve to get shot

Remember Vine? Teens did that.

Never heard of this movie, anybody know if it's worth watching?

Movie is awful apparently, but the musical is great.

This is from my girlfriend who loves theater though so take it with a grain of NaCl.

I took away one of your downvotes because this can't be real.

It should be noted that Iā€™ve upvoted every single person whoā€™s disagreed with me here, as far as I know. That said. In 7th grade, I took an SAT test without preparing for it at all, it was spur-of-the-moment, I knew about it about an hour ahead of time and didnā€™t do any research or anything. I scored higher on it than the average person using it to apply for college in my area. An IQ test has shown me to be in the 99.9th percentile for IQ. This is the highest result the test I was given reaches; anything further and theyā€™d consider it to be within the margin of error for that test. My motherā€™s boyfriend of 8 years is an aerospace engineer who graduated Virginia Tech. At the age of 15, I understand physics better than him, and I owe very little of it to him, as he would rarely give me a decent explanation of anything, just tell me that my ideas were wrong and become aggravated with me for not quite understanding thermodynamics. Heā€™s not particularly successful as an engineer, but Iā€™ve met lots of other engineers who arenā€™t as good as me at physics, so Iā€™m guessing thatā€™s not just a result of him being bad at it. Iā€™m also pretty good at engineering. I donā€™t have a degree, and other than physics I donā€™t have a better understanding of any aspect of engineering than any actual engineer, but I have lots of ingenuity for inventing new things. For example, I independently invented regenerative brakes before finding out what they were, and I was only seven or eight years old when I started inventing wireless electricity solutions (my first idea being to use a powerful infrared laser to transmit energy; admittedly not the best plan). I have independently thought of basically every branch of philosophy Iā€™ve come across. Every question of existentialism which Iā€™ve seen discussed in SMBC or xkcd or Reddit or anywhere else, the thoughts havenā€™t been new to me. Philosophy has pretty much gotten trivial for me; Iā€™ve considered taking a philosophy course just to see how easy it is. Psychology, I actually understand better than people with degrees. Unlike engineering, thereā€™s no aspect of psychology which I donā€™t have a very good understanding of. I can debunk many of even Sigmund Freudā€™s theories. Iā€™m a good enough writer that Iā€™m writing a book and so far everybody whoā€™s read any of it has said it was really good and plausible to expect to have published. And thatā€™s not just, like, me and family members, that counts strangers on the Internet. Iā€™ve heard zero negative appraisal of it so far; people have critiqued it, but not insulted it. I donā€™t know if that will suffice as evidence that Iā€™m intelligent. Iā€™m done with it, though, because Iā€™d rather defend my maturity, since itā€™s what youā€™ve spent the most time attacking. The following are some examples of my morals and ethical code. I believe firmly that everybody deserves a future. If we were to capture Hitler at the end of WWII, I would be against executing him. In fact, if we had any way of rehabilitating him and knowing that he wasnā€™t just faking it, Iā€™d even support the concept of letting him go free. This is essentially because I think that whoever you are in the present is a separate entity from who you were in the past and who you are in the future, and while your present self should take responsibility for your past selfā€™s actions, it shouldnā€™t be punished for them simply for the sake of punishment, especially if the present self regrets the actions of the past self and feels genuine guilt about them. I donā€™t believe in judgement of people based on their personal choices as long as those personal choices arenā€™t harming others. I donā€™t have any issue with any type of sexuality whatsoever (short of physically acting out necrophilia, pedophilia, or other acts which have a harmful affect on others - but I donā€™t care what a personā€™s fantasies consist of, as long as they recognize the difference between reality and fiction and can separate them). I donā€™t have any issue with anybody over what type of music they listen to, or clothes they wear, etc. I know thatā€™s not really an impressive moral, but itā€™s unfortunately rare; a great many people, especially those my age, are judgmental about these things. I love everyone, even people I hate. I wish my worst enemies good fortune and happiness. Rick Perry is a vile, piece of shit human being, deserving of zero respect, but I wish for him to change for the better and live the best life possible. I wish this for everyone. Iā€™m pretty much a pacifist. Iā€™ve taken a broken nose without fighting back or seeking retribution, because the guy stopped punching after that. The only time Iā€™ll fight back is if 1) the person attacking me shows no signs of stopping and 2) if I donā€™t attack, Iā€™ll come out worse than the other person will if I do. In other words, if fighting someone is going to end up being more harmful to them than just letting them go will be to me, I donā€™t fight back. Iā€™ve therefore never had a reason to fight back against anyone in anything serious, because my ability to take pain has so far made it so that Iā€™m never in a situation where Iā€™ll be worse off after a fight. If Iā€™m not going to get any hospitalizing injuries, I really donā€™t care. The only exception is if someone is going after my life. Even then, Iā€™ll do the minimum amount of harm to them that I possibly can in protecting myself. If someone points a gun at me and I can get out of it without harming them, Iā€™d prefer to do that over killing them. I consider myself a feminist. I donā€™t believe in enforced or uniform gender roles; they may happen naturally, but they should never be coerced into happening unnaturally. As in, the societal pressure for gender roles should really go, even if itā€™ll turn out that the majority of relationships continue operating the same way of their own accord. I treat women with the same outlook I treat men, and never participate in the old Reddit ā€œwomen are crazyā€ circlejerk, because there are multiple women out there and each have different personalities just like there are multiple men out there and each with different personalities. I donā€™t think you do much of anything except scare off the awesome women out there by going on and on about the ones who arenā€™t awesome. That doesnā€™t mean I look for places to victimize women, I just donā€™t believe itā€™s fair to make generalizations such as the one about women acting like everythingā€™s OK when itā€™s really not (and thatā€™s a particularly harsh example, because all humans do that). Iā€™m kind of tired of citing these examples and Iā€™m guessing youā€™re getting tired of reading them, if youā€™ve even made it this far. In closing, the people who know me in real life all respect me, as do a great many people in the Reddit brony community, where I spend most of my time and where Iā€™m pretty known for being helpful around the community. A lot of people in my segment of the community are depressed or going through hard times, and I spend a lot of time giving advice and support to people there. Yesterday someone quoted a case of me doing this in a post asking everyone what their favorite motivational/inspirational quote was, and that comment was second to the top, so I guess other people agreed (though, granted, it was a pretty low-traffic post, only about a dozen competing comments). And, uh, Iā€™m a pretty good moderator. All that, and I think your behavior in this thread was totally assholish. So what do you think, now that you at least slightly know me?

Hello, /u/SilverMars! The phrase 'SAT test' is redundant because SAT stands for 'Scholastic Assessment Test', which already includes the word(s) 'test'.


I'm not perfect, so sorry if I make a mistake! PM me with questions or concerns, or prevent me from replying to you

I'm gonna actually kill you bot

word(s) 'test'.

You seriously couldn't program a check on the number or words?

why bother? thatā€™s why William Strunk Jr. invented parentheses

So, I'm going to be realistic with you, since you aren't with yourself.

In 7th grade, I took an SAT test without preparing for it at all, it was spur-of-the-moment, I knew about it about an hour ahead of time and didn't do any research or anything. I scored higher on it than the average person using it to apply for college in my area.

Great, you live on the east coast and participated in DUKE TIP. I'm glad for you. I got a 29 comp and 31 sci on my 7th grade ACT. I qualified for nation TIP recognition. So did 15 of my classmates.

An IQ test has shown me to be in the 99.9th percentile for IQ. This is the highest result the test I was given reaches; anything further and they'd consider it to be within the margin of error for that test.

I've consistently scored over 130 on IQ tests. I've literally rarely scored below 99th percentile on anything.

My mother's boyfriend of 8 years is an aerospace engineer who graduated Virginia Tech. At the age of 15, I understand physics better than him, and I owe very little of it to him, as he would rarely give me a decent explanation of anything, just tell me that my ideas were wrong and become aggravated with me for not quite understanding thermodynamics. He's not particularly successful as an engineer, but I've met lots of other engineers who aren't as good as me at physics, so I'm guessing that's not just a result of him being bad at it.

Pray explain to me the basics of simple harmonic motion, specifically explaining how a spring's back and forth motion can be modeled. Feel free to use calculus. you may understant the concepts, but I doubt you have teh understanding necessary to explain them. This is the level require to actually use them.

I'm also pretty good at engineering. I don't have a degree, and other than physics I don't have a better understanding of any aspect of engineering than any actual engineer, but I have lots of ingenuity for inventing new things. For example, I independently invented regenerative brakes before finding out what they were, and I was only seven or eight years old when I started inventing wireless electricity solutions (my first idea being to use a powerful infrared laser to transmit energy; admittedly not the best plan).

I didn't know what these were until you told me about them, but I've also thought of them before. They are a great concept, but rarely useful on anything outside of trains and electric cars. I'll also point out that there is a difference between conceptualizing something and actually inventing it. Where is your working model?

I have independently thought of basically every branch of philosophy I've come across. Every question of existentialism which I've seen discussed in SMBC or xkcd or Reddit or anywhere else, the thoughts haven't been new to me. Philosophy has pretty much gotten trivial for me; I've considered taking a philosophy course just to see how easy it is.

Let me explain something to you real quick: Webcomics need to appeal to their readers. Reddit is made up of generally slightly above average intelligent people. You aren't on a forum surrounded by geniuses (especially when related to philosophic debate), and XKCD isn't meant to appeal to philosophy majors. The fact that you get it means that you have an average understanding of basic philosophy. To truly understand these ideas you need to be able to implement them. That means being able to explain why god should/should not exist. That means being able to provide a thesis for why god doesn't cause goodness.

Psychology, I actually understand better than people with degrees. Unlike engineering, there's no aspect of psychology which I don't have a very good understanding of. I can debunk many of even Sigmund Freud's theories.

Including buisness psychology? Economics?

I'm a good enough writer that I'm writing a book and so far everybody who's read any of it has said it was really good and plausible to expect to have published. And that's not just, like, me and family members, that counts strangers on the Internet. I've heard zero negative appraisal of it so far; people have critiqued it, but not insulted it.

Great, you know polite people. (also confirmation bias)

I don't know if that will suffice as evidence that I'm intelligent. I'm done with it, though, because I'd rather defend my maturity, since it's what you've spent the most time attacking. The following are some examples of my morals and ethical code.

It shows you have an above average intelligence, like most people with internet access.

I believe firmly that everybody deserves a future. If we were to capture Hitler at the end of WWII, I would be against executing him. In fact, if we had any way of rehabilitating him and knowing that he wasn't just faking it, I'd even support the concept of letting him go free. This is essentially because I think that whoever you are in the present is a separate entity from who you were in the past and who you are in the future, and while your present self should take responsibility for your past self's actions, it shouldn't be punished for them simply for the sake of punishment, especially if the present self regrets the actions of the past self and feels genuine guilt about them.

There is a difference between morality and maturity. There are really immature people with 'good' morals.

I don't believe in judgement of people based on their personal choices as long as those personal choices aren't harming others. I don't have any issue with any type of sexuality whatsoever (short of physically acting out necrophilia, pedophilia, or other acts which have a harmful affect on others - but I don't care what a person's fantasies consist of, as long as they recognize the difference between reality and fiction and can separate them). I don't have any issue with anybody over what type of music they listen to, or clothes they wear, etc. I know that's not really an impressive moral, but it's unfortunately rare; a great many people, especially those my age, are judgmental about these things.

Ok, so you are a liberal too.

I love everyone, even people I hate. I wish my worst enemies good fortune and happiness. Rick Perry is a vile, piece of shit human being, deserving of zero respect, but I wish for him to change for the better and live the best life possible. I wish this for everyone.

A bleeding heart liberal

I'm pretty much a pacifist. I've taken a broken nose without fighting back or seeking retribution, because the guy stopped punching after that. The only time I'll fight back is if 1) the person attacking me shows no signs of stopping and 2) if I don't attack, I'll come out worse than the other person will if I do. In other words, if fighting someone is going to end up being more harmful to them than just letting them go will be to me, I don't fight back. I've therefore never had a reason to fight back against anyone in anything serious, because my ability to take pain has so far made it so that I'm never in a situation where I'll be worse off after a fight. If I'm not going to get any hospitalizing injuries, I really don't care.

Ok. This isn't morality, its bragging.

The only exception is if someone is going after my life. Even then, I'll do the minimum amount of harm to them that I possibly can in protecting myself. If someone points a gun at me and I can get out of it without harming them, I'd prefer to do that over killing them.

Yeap, expected.

Let me put it to you this way (an for those of you still watching this thread, this will come off as very arrogant. I'm fully aware of that). I'm 16. I've been so for less than 6 months. I'm currently applying to colleges, including Yale and Columbia planning to be a Cscience major. Do I have an expectation of getting into one/both? Yes, otherwise I wouldn't apply. Will I be surprised if I don't get in? No, I am aware that there are other people out there better than me at everything. I dont' just mean better than me at computer science, I mean everything.

I scored a 2200 on my SAT. That isn't super scored, that's straight up, one test. I've been beaten by two people in my class, a 25 on an ACT and a 2280 on an SAT. What you don't realize is that there are people out there better than you. Now, that may be because you weren't exposed to them, but you will be. I happen to have been my whole life, and I'm lucky for it. What you need to learn, and I mean this as advice, not as insulting, is that you aren't as good as you think you are. Yes, there are probably 15 year old kids out there who are better at aerospace physics than an average aerospace engineer. There are also some pretty stupid people with aerospace engineering degrees. You knowing an aerospace engineer that isn't very good and happening to understand conceptual physics doesn't turn you into einstein.

I know a child who nearly made it onto the US world math competition team. This kid is insanely smart. He consistantly corrects our math professor (a doctor of pure math) on things, and finds and proves better ways to do things. He's in the top .001% of child mathemeticians in the US. What will come of that? Probably nothing. His ability will probably not allow him to prove the abc conjecture, or find the pattern to prime numbers. It will probably do nothing.

Be realistic, aiming high is fine, but be prepared to fail. If you don't prepare for failure, you'll find that you do much more often.

Hahaha fuck

I know the term "cult classic" is overused, but the original Heathers is a genuine cult classic. Worth the watch

However, the 1999 remake "Jawbreaker" is a fucking dumpster fire.

But there was that scene where Rose McGowan fucked her bf on top of her friends corpse

You had my curiosity, but now you have my attention. Is it on Netflix or Hulu?

Unsure, I haven't looked it up in years. I'm sure a Google search would have a streaming site with it if you really check. Well, probably

the scene where she makes her boyfriend fellate her ice lolly is šŸ‘Œ

I loved that movie, it just didn't age well

itā€™s very funny, and surprisingly disturbing, which makes it more interesting IMO.

the only comedies that have ever left me feeling nearly as uncomfortable were Grease (as a kid) and a couple Charlie Kaufman films. the only movie thatā€™s topped it for me is Ichi the Killer, but probably mainly bc I was drunk and high for A Serbian Film

the only comedies that have ever left me feeling nearly as uncomfortable were Grease

Pls explain

Grease is the word. It's the word that you heard. It's got groove it's got meaningĀ  Grease is the time, is the place, is the motionĀ  Grease is the way we are feeling.

the entire first two acts seemed to focus on the toxicity of the bourgeois mock-greaser lifestyle and how it adversely affected her, and she just embraces it, after all the fucked up shit sheā€™s been made witness to

it really freaked me out as a kid

I think that's what I found appealing about Heathers as a teen, was that it managed to be simultaneously completely ridiculous and totally plausible. Not a lot of comedies can pull that off. In retrospect, it's a pretty fucked up movie, but it was a lot easier to get away with stuff like that in a pre-Columbine world.

So, after Danny is unable to admit he fell for a goody two-shoes in front of his friends, after Danny cleans up his act to make himself acceptable to Sandy, after Danny admits to his friends he went out for track and Sandy is important to him...

Sandy's change is the only important one?

her willingness to abandon her identity

Danny's willingness to do the same, for her. Also: her Identity? Or merely Image?

the toxicity of the bourgeois mock-greaser lifestyle

Apparently, Zucco's and Kenickie's parents were bank presidents, who knew? A lot of the people who dressed like greasers ended up working as mechanics, factory workers, &c.

and social standing with people she has no business caring about

Now that is about the most "bourgeois" thing you could write.

But not really. The Anglo-American (but especially the latter) "leading citizens" were huge on improving sanitation, nutrition, and housing for the "masses." Saying Sandy had no need to care for Pink Ladies smacks of an arriviste who rejects the bourgeois duty of improvement, never mind the Christian duty of loving thy neighbor as thyself.

the way her newfound environment enabled and celebrated this transition

It was MAD or Cracked that parodied this part of Grease in two panels, just after the race:

  1. poodle-skirted Sandy says, "In order to get the man you want...",
  2. Leather Pants Sandy says, "... you have to be a SLUT! What a wonderful message for the youth of America!"

God knows, Grease is about as subtle as a kick to the nuts (the original script was even worse) and, as a 1978 production, it refuses to kick back at the "sexual revolution," but read sympathetically, as an audience nostalgic for the Fifties might:

  1. Frenchie repents dropping out;
  2. Rizzo will not or cannot conform to the prim ideal, but is painfully aware that being unwed, in high school and pregnant would be a huge problem;
  3. Kenickie pushes hard to date Rizzo before, and marry her both during and after, the pregnancy scare. He also has a part-time job in high school (IIRC), so isn't afraid of work;
  4. Danny realizes he needs to stop trying for imaginary respect from his buddies, and win Sandy's real trust; and
  5. Sandy realizes that Danny isn't crazy for wanting a sexy and desirable GF.

The movie hedges its bets on point 5, refusing to distinguish a sexy image from actually putting out. In 1978, and given the even raunchier jokes that were excised from the original script, that may be the best we can expect.

TL;DR, serious-posting is cancer.

i donā€™t remember man itā€™s been like two decades

It's both genuinely funny and disturbing in roughly equal measures. I think it works better if you lived closer to the time period, tbh, but I think it's worth a watch.

The show seems to have been absolute hot garbage, and I don't see any way that it could work better as a musical so I don't know what that other guy was talking about.

It's genuinely great. It's a hilarious dark satire/comedy about school shootings, basically.

It's not an anime.

cancelled because it made fun of SJWs

SJWs are more powerful than the president! How fucked up is that? šŸ˜ÆšŸ˜’

Heathers Remake = Your President Trump

make heathers great again

wait what

>normal kids
>they go to school and get shot
>upon death, automatically become sjws
>i fucking hate sjws!
>stupid sjws deserved it

Did you read anything about the show?

There cast has a number of "Genderqueer" characters among other things.

Doesnā€™t that make it more SJW-appropriate? Representation, yo

But these were unauthorized depictions of marginalized people

I mean, they didn't even get consent!

The screeching online about it was that the main characters were normies and their foils were genderqueer so that was A Bad Thing, it should've been the other way around

If it's got anything in common with the movie I'd expect it put them there to mock them though.

Man I should watch Heathers again.

The Heathers in the new show are SJWs

is this our post-Parkland reality

it might be your post-Parkland mental retardation

David Hogg?? More like David...uh...Faggot. DAVID FAGGOT

How very.

which ethnic slur did their creator say on twitter?

Niggerfaggot

buzzfeed

Reeeeeeeeeeeeeee

thank god, there are so many reasons this series (which iā€™m just finding out about) was a bad idea and precisely zero of them are referenced in this article

I want to hate it because it has none of the appeal of the original and is basically just a bad modern remake.

On the other hand, SJWs are offended because it has the gays being mean little bitches (and we all know the gays never dindu nuffin) and now soccer moms are mad because "muh skool chutings".

It's astounding that such a dumpster fire would manage to anger so many people, but I'm kind of rooting for it. They already shot it and announced it. I'm probably going to have to ignore it regardless. Might as well watch the reaction to it and enjoy.

Gays are never mean šŸ˜ 

honestly I think ā€œbitchy gayā€ as an archetype made a major comeback in recent years

they usually donā€™t end up getting killed though

There is no such thing as a bitchy gay.

exactly. it's what the creator of heathers would have wanted. the creator was a nutcase who thought Stanley Kubrick would direct his movie because he thought the script he wrote made the film like the high school version of 2001 and possibly one of the top 20 greatest films of all time (i'm serious)/

like how many tv series get this much press off of a 3 minute video? plus it would get every drama lover and alt-right person to watch it. whoever releases this easily gets 6 million viewers. which is a big deal nowadays

the film like the high school version of 2001 and possibly one of the top 20 greatest films of all time

well he was right about the second part

how many tv series get this much press off of a 3 minute video?

they aired the first episode

Idk about this series...but that dude in the middle....gotta be a r/drama regular.

"Her" name is Heather

Lol.

I saw the first episode (off the web) and it actually was really fun. I'm disappointed.

Is that tje kid from the school shooting psa? The one in the middle?

Ultimately, the decision to not air Heathers on any Viacom platform was made after the youth-focused conglomerate supported the movement that sprang out of Parkland by going dark across all of its brands for 17 minutes in a show of support for the victims in the Florida high school shooting.

wtf, i love school shootings now.