Star Citizen whale creates copypasta.

89  2018-06-03 by pitterpatterwater

104 comments

Remember, these are people who spent 27k on imaginary ships.

People spending money on virtual bullshit is pretty common, but spending money on virtual bullshit on a platform that never actually be released? Next level.

You're literally paying thousands for some JPEGs.

I think we as a society should recognise that Chris Roberts is another failed game dev who did noteworthy shit in the 90s and then became an utter retard.

we as a society

lmao

lmao

BUSSY

bussy

dude

dude. bussy.

bussy

zoz

zoz

zle

AAAAAAA BOOGA BOOGA BOOGAAAAA

zozzle.

I love u 💘

lmao.

F

We live in a society, after all.

Gamers Rise Up!

Failed game dev or most successfull game seller in human history?! Chris Roberts managed to sell 185 million US Dollars worth of a game that does not exist.

Gotta respect the hustle.

So does that count as selling a videogame or no?

Selling a product is not predicated on the product being owned by the seller or even existing, so it definitely counts.

At some point though you stop being a seller of a product and just become a pure con-artist.

hey hey heeey

He’s another “legendary” developer that makes you go “ooooh, no wonder..” these guys don’t need to show the same restraint if they were locked in. No every dev goes “indie” because big publishers don’t get them, sometimes they take too fucking long to get a game done.

Lol wing commander (or whatever game Chris made in 2000) got pushed back multiple times and nearly didn't release

Microsoft had to get rid of him and replace him with a competent Deb who stepped out features until it was playable.

In fairness, there are certain JPEGs I would pay thousands for. Ed’s bussy, for instance.

never actually be released?

Its already playable you mean finished you mong.

Wrong. The devs release a bunch of barely-playable modules, aka bits and bobs of the actual game.

I can't the implosion that sub is going to have when he finally comes out and says he can't do it or it's super sub par.

Privateer was only decent because Microsoft got rid of him and removed features until it was playable.

Same for Freelancer, originally it was to be way more than the (admittedly still excellent) final product.

Fuck meant to say freelancer.

This game could be the next coming of space Jesus, with full awesome virtual reality support and people will still say it doesn't live up to the hype. This game is doomed.

They're trying to use the Crytek engine for a space sim, because it seemed like a good choice before the kickstarted when it was just Squadron 42.

Unfortunately that's never going to happen. Why would he ever release this and destroy the jpeg to $ philosopher's stone?

Gamers are the best long con scam target. They'll have short life expectancies and all be gone in a decade or so. Chris can just wait it out and bathe in money to assuage his conscience.

So what's the release date for Squadron 42? You know, that limited scope single player story that they were going to knock out quickly to lay a stable foundation for the mmo development.

Not soon lol, they rewrote part of the Crytek engine FPS code because Chris Roberts wanted to use the same animations for both first-person and third-person perspectives.

the spice will be real...

I actually want to see the game be completed with all of the "everything you do is persistent" just to watch the rising cases of suicide once the guys who spent their children's college tuition on make-believe spaceships end up getting their vessel destroyed somehow and it's perma-deathed.

I might actually buy the game if I can be part of a pirate group swarming manchildren's thousand dollar internet spaceships with normie non-pledge ships.

Are there even normie ships anymore? The last time I saw anything about that game that didn't have retarded-as-fuck economy was literally in the early days before it became a hundred million-dollar+ pipedream.

In the theoretical universe where Star Citizen launches I presume non-backers who buy will still be able to grind for normie ships.

I don't share in your optimism. I think the cult-like phenomenon of the development hell the game is in will keep it "in progress" for an indeterminable amount of time since the devs know they are just printing money at this point.

If and when the game ever is released it will probably have an astronomically stupid buy-in cost since the economics aren't the same. With regular video games and media releases (DVD sales, etc) the objective goal is usually to reach a maximum number of target audience to purchase units of your product. Move as many $60 games and $25 BluRay DVDs as humanly possible to make your production costs back and have a general profit margin.

With Star Citizen, all they have to do is keep the existing idiots who have bought into the out-of-control hype train around. They already know they have morons who have no problem dropping 10,000-30,000USD on shit that doesn't fuckin' exist yet.

If these religious zealots are willing to part with the sum of money it would take to purchase a new physical, real-world car (not even a beater... $10-30k can buy you a nice model of automobile) for a .JPEG, imagine what they're willing to spend on the shit once it actually becomes "in-game".

Not an optimist, in fact I'm skeptical the game will ever launch at all. If it does launch it will need poors/normies for sustainable player numbers. You can rely on whales for profits, but whales alone won't carry a game.

Chris Roberts should never be allowed to have overall control of a project. Without fail he turns it into an incoherent mess of features unless he's replaced with someone who cuts it down to a manageable scope.

This. I'm sure Chris Roberts set out with pure intentions but giving him $180 million with little legal accountability attached to it is a recipe for disaster. Giving creative types full control over a product is like letting children have ice cream for breakfast and McDonalds for dinner until child services steps in.

This game is what happens when no hard deadlines are ever set.

I cant even image a car or woman I would spend 27k on. And these people are spending it on something non-existent

There's actually a dude living in a trailer who's spent like 27k on the game.

that's some minor dystopian shit

he really needs it to escape from reality

open your eyes

Really?

Yep, apparently he's a somewhat well-known backer.

You don't get to live in a trailer for spending your responsibly. Star citizen might still be cheaper than a math addiction....

At least you get something out of that though. With this game it's not even out yet so you literally get nothing. It's just going to keep getting the release date pushed back and IF it gets a release it will be so shitty and not up to expectations that people will off themselves for finally realizing they were taken for a ride.

tl;dr lots of drama.

Stop spoiling new black mirror episodes.

tbh you're a poor nigga

My car's MSRP is less than $27k.

https://i.imgur.com/HrGZZJl.png

The new Civic looks pretty dope. What's your opinion on it?

I love it. Rides nice, great mileage in eco mode, nice sporty feel in S, and tons of trunk space.

The technology it comes with is also why the Accords are selling so poorly. The Touring at $27k comes with lane keep assist, adaptive cruise, and rain sensitive windshield wipers.

It's a great car at an insane price for what you get.

Is that better or worse than spending 27k on toy trains?

At lwast the toy trains exist.

Toy trains probably hold some of their value, too.

The guy with 27k worth of toy trains probably doesn't get all sanctimonious about "investing" in the toy train community.

Pictures of imaginary ships.

On the other hand, remember there are people who make that amount of money in the time it took me to type this response.

To some people, spending money just isn't an issue.

The best part is that you had to spend a couple grand to unlock the ability to even see that package.

If you're a whale they offer you a big whale package, knowing you'll buy it.

imaginary ships that you can’t even imaginary fly (((yet))) lol

I only follow the patriarchal aspects of Islam. Not the aspects that make you a cuck e.g. Abstaining from womanising, penetrating a sweet trap virgin ass and lowering your gaze.

Snapshots:

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Is investing 10k into an unreleased game halal, Snappy?

"I don't know if I count as a whale or not, I've put in about 13,000 USD into the game"

Actually more than 27k.

We're living in the darkest timeline.

Dankest

Sometimes I really fucking hate the people in this hobby.

u/xNotch our resident billionaire gamer, have even you pledged this much to Star Citizen?

u/xNotch seems like the type of person who would buy the $45 ship tbh

More like pay pay 500 million just to bribe the developers to shut it down just for the amazing drama. I would fully support /u/xNotch in doing this.

Who knows? I black out a lot.

You must be mistaken, I've been told by the critics that no one is interested in this pack!?

The funny thing is this; the people most interested in this pack, are the whales who have bought a ton of ships, who want to consolidate all their stuff into one single pack with everything.

And here is the clincher... they can only use one ship at a time.

These are not trolls who buys ships to kill beginners when they first log in, these are guys who just want to pitch in.

This is grown adults, who paid their dues playing the old games, we understand what patience is; believe me.

We are the people who as kids sat way beyond our bedtime, playing the same missions, over and over and over again for weeks, months sometimes, because we were so enthralled and engaged in these games. We have paid our gaming worth in time; we know what patience means.

We are people who want this game to happen and are willing to put some of our available funds towards the game, because we realize that without CIG; this game is never going to happen.

You think EA is going to make this? Nope.

When the game, far into the future, hopefully goes gold, the only thing I at least want, is to stand tall and say, I helped make my dream game become a reality; that is it.

We are of the generation who bought and played a game and stuck with it, we don't suffer from gamer ADHD, which is so easy these times with steam sales and a new game coming out every day.

Here is the thing, myself, as a whale, think of myself, just the same, as the people who paid 45 bucks for a base package. Dare I say, in my eyes, there is no difference. We all have an equal voice. Me spending more money than you have NO difference in input to CIG.

We put in what we feel comfortable putting in, be it 45USD or 27k USD. We all, have an equal voice.

I don't know if I count as a whale or not, I've put in about 13,000 USD into the game over these years.

Let me state, that I am an adult, I have a proper budget as most adults do, where most of our expenses go to where they belong, and I have my personal money that I can spend myself. Sometimes some of that goes to CIG.

And let me say, and I think I speak for most of the whales out there, big or small, if a situation occurs where regular players can not advance, because we bought ships, I will personally send a complaint to CIG. I will stop buying them. And CIG will change their tune accordingly. I can only speak for myself, but from what I know of other whales, and I know a few. Their goal isn't to get ahead of you, we don't keep spending our play money on this game in order to troll you.

If there are any other whales out there who feel the same, please speak up.

I didn't spend all this money to troll you, I spent it to make this game a reality. I don't buy into the whole ordeal of Chris, his brother and his wife trying to scam us. He is on camera, the guy is exposing himself, promising to make the game he always dreamt of. Do you honestly think he's trying to shell away the money for himself and his brother, this guy who's whole career basically has been making space games. Use your intelligence, think about it. CIG will soon have over FIVE HUNDRED employees. It's late, sure. It didn't go as fast as Chris thought it would, fine. But they are doing their very best to deliver it as fast as they can. Of this there can be no doubt.

And it's not a Stockholm syndrome. I don't throw money into this game because I've already thrown in so much so I'm afraid it will fail. If this game fails, and let's be honest, it might. I will be sad; not angry. Because I know it can fail, I back this game despite that knowledge. I know it can fail. If i lose the money I spent, it will not matter for me financially, only emotionally; because I sooo want to play it.

Never, ever, spend more money than you are willing to lose, on a kickstarter. Never.

If it fails, I won't be sad because my money is gone, because I spent well within what I could afford. I will be sad because I can't experience it. My childhood dream come true will be gone, and no one else will ever attempt this endavure.

A long time ago, I realized that this game can't become everything I thought it would be, and believe me, I am critical. The last 24 hours I have received two CIG replies on reddit. One that satisfied my critique, and one has not yet satisfied my critique.

I don't face a different answer than I expected with anger, because the firesure way to NOT change someones mind; is with anger.

I realize that behind this functionality, there are humans, doing the best of their ability. I try to meet them with questions, logic.

I realize that even if I make an impression, it might take a long time before that change is incorporated. Because it's not just a question of doing it at CIG, it's a question of putting it into a backlog; that means taking it up with a main designer, if its a big change it will have to go higher up the chain and so forth.

;I have realized a long time ago, I cannot win every fight. This game is not made for me, it is made for all of us. And I will have to give some of my pet peeves away. This is how it has to be, because if this game was made exactly to my expectations; I bet 99% of you would hate it ;-)

Just know this, you guys who have invested 45USD for the base game:

I will fight for your right to advance without having to play too long; I will fight for your right to advance at a steady pace; I believe I speak for the vast majority of the whales, may they be 1k supporters or 30k supporters. We don't want an advantage! We want the game to happen.

I specifically bought a second account without any ships, that I plan to play on when the game launches. Now of course I don't expect most whales to do this, but I guarantee you, most whales aren't putting in the money to win anything.

We didn't throw this much money into it to get ahead, we did it to make the game happen. And I think CIG is aware of this.

I love <3 all gamers, be it console players or PC players, Elite or SC, Fortnite or PUBG... the whales are not your enemy, we're a resource playing on your team, we want the same game you want.

The best part of reading walls of text like that on mobile is that it takes so long to get to the bottom that I really anticipate seeing if they're upvoted or not

Match me!

Every year I get older and every year I hate gamers more.

Me too. Gamers are ruining gaming.

just like they ruined Scotland

An yer nan m8

These are the same people that rage at you if you dare to want a refund

That really is a cult, damn

Here is the thing, myself, as a whale, think of myself, just the same, as the people who paid 45 bucks for a base package. Dare I say, in my eyes, there is no difference

very gracious

I think less of the whales then I do of the guys who just bought the $45 base package back in the day when it just sounded like the guy from Wing Commander wanted to crowdsource funds to make another spaceship game.

The whales are fucking retarded.

In the computer industry, vaporware is a product that is announced to the general public but is never actually manufactured nor officially cancelled.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_vaporware

Normally, people don't place non-refundable preorders on vaporware.

Mayocide now pls

Totally not a cult

Holy shit, this game is still in development? I thought it got cancelled years ago

This reads too much like the "they targeted gamers" copypasta.

If this game fails, and let's be honest, it might. I will be sad; not angry. Because I know it can fail, I back this game despite that knowledge. I know it can fail. If i lose the money I spent, it will not matter for me financially, only emotionally; because I sooo want to play it.

...

I don't know if I count as a whale or not, I've put in about 13,000 USD into the game over these years.

Is there a word that is the exact opposite of "woke"?

dope

bamboozled

hoodwinked

run amok

...hornswaggled, I think?

Look I've done my time as a whale for a game, but that was $200 over 2-3 years. I told myself that it was a fair amount because the game gave me so much, but even I couldn't trunk myself into triple digit purchases, let alone 5 digit.

200 over the course of 36 months is like $6 a month. I’m sure you’ve wasted more on other less meaningful shit.

Remember, these are the people thoroughly destroying the gaming industry feeding pay to win mobile games, microtransactions and lootboxes.

https://i.imgur.com/QerXYd4.png

That's what I like to see.

I just want you to know I am an adult who does adult things, makes adult money, has the adult sex with another adult, have an adult house, like an adult I masturbate to spaceships on a computer monitor, adult, adult adult, adult.

If this game never comes out and crashes and burns, which one of you is doing the epic long detailed drama post? /u/snallygaster you don't do video game stuff, just ancient 90's board posts, right?

Unfortunately video game drama is usually too boring for me unless it's a complete shitshow or something involving industry or 'e-celeb' figures.

It would be so glorious and satisfying I might not need to shag yer nan m8

"there's a sucker born every minute"

  • Star Citizen, probably

As a whale myself (okay, maybe a minke whale as just shy of $6K pledged so far)

alright /u/Talenin2014 here’s how the breakdown worksfor what you’re spending on a game:

| Min | Max | Label |

|:--------- |:---------| --------- |

| $0 | $19.99 | Casual/Patient Gamer |

| $20 | $60 | Normal person who plays video games|

| $61 | $150 | Nerd |

| $151 | $999 | Whale |

| $1000 | Up | what the fuck |

Hahahaha that's brilliant!!

If you'll allow me to use your idea a inspiration, here's an alternative table:

Min Max Label
$0.00 $19.99 Casual / patient gamer
$20.00 $60.00 Regular gamer
$60.01 $150.00 Dedicated gamer
$150.01 $500.00 Hardcore gamer
$500.01 $999.99 Dolphin
$1000.00 $2499.99 Orca
$2500.00 $9999.99 Minke whale
$10000.00 $26999.99 Humpback whale
$27000.00 Up Blue whale

fair enough

Star Citizen has become the Scientology of vidya.

I really want star citizen to work and be awesome, but I've been kinda hoping he takes the money and runs for years now. The melt down online would only be second to Trump winning but even more heated in certain circles.