every time I get summoned here, I have a quick look around and find that this place gets worse and worse, it's like a black hole which mangles everything that gets sucked into it. src
I have no opinion on her #metoo article. Just wanted to mention she's been an attention whore for well over a decade now.
She's used to freely posted her nudes (pre-boob job) on the internet but now wants them removed because she's a legit actor! It wasn't beyond her to report her own pics as CP to LEO.
Oh for sure, but I get the impression from the wording that the pics were not actually illegal, just reported as such to get them taken down. She wouldn't be the first person trying to get things removed from the internet that way.
i think one of her topless photos was posted on reddit somewhere and she commented on them like "5/10, would not bang" I wish i could find that comment.
Sounds like a standard awful relationship. I don't know why people think relationships are pretty because most of them are pretty awful and follow along these lines.
Seems like most of the #MeToo stuff is just "I had a crappy boyfriend once and it's society's fault".
I know it sounds retarded, but this is pretty much how things are these days.
One of the key tenants of modern feminism appears to be "women are to never be held responsible for the outcome of their own decisions."
If you think about it, we've spent most of modern history with women being treated this way, like mentally incompetent children, then for a hot minute our mothers wanted to be treated like adults, got it, and now their children and grand children are, quite literally, running back to daddy saying "Treat us like children, but don't say you're treating us like children. #metoo"
I'm going to chose not to, because I'm not a woman and can make my own choices in my own best interest without crying on the internet about being bullied by someone who cums in his socks.
Not as lame as /u/Vidiotgamer become a devoted member of the gamergate coalition around age 40. And I'm not allowed to just say kill yourself because the mods would ban me.
This chick willingly dated a control freak because he was a C list celebrity. He wasnt keeping her locked up in a basement like /u/Onitan does with his 'girlfriends'. Christ...
The really telling thing is that this is all about her, how her getting abused is entirely her fault. It isn’t, you obviously have no clue what emotional abuse isn’t like. And it’s pretty telling you don’t give a shit about the actual abuser in this situation.
tbh once someone says "WOW U RLY THINK HER ABUSE IS NOT HER FAULT" you just gotta realize you're talking to a budding serial killer and respond appropriately.
Ah so you are the type of person who knows they have no valid argument to substantiate their comments so they resort to the state of a pouty child. Thats okay then.
I've wasted a lot of time on friends who were shitty because I thought if I cared about them then they'd care about me too. I guess I always figured the effort would be reciprocated. It's an incredibly common mindset especially when you're young and naively think you're capable of helping change people for, in your mind, the better.
Shoehorning your agenda into barely relevant topics is probably one of the worst forms of agendaposting, but I have to give it to him for generating comment chains with over 300 child comments.
I don’t know but when choose your exit strategy..look him up and ask.
Must be rough for you though knowing your brain damage is due to a backstreet abortion gone wrong and the crochet hook is still embedded in your brain.
It's a coat hanger you absolute mong. Do you even know what a crochet hook looks like? Imagine something small enough to wrap around your cock and you'll have a good idea.
😂😂. So your mum had to use a coat hanger... that explains everything. You must look like batty from Ferngully coz your definitely on ...the wrong channel.
And since I know how to crochet, I might even crochet a willy warmer for you as that’s the only thing you could get to wrap around your pecker without facing a rape charge.
Yeah, that's what you say, but I have it on good authority that the greatest feminist minds in the universe have said that video games are misogynistic rape and murder simulators, with the most offensive being Grand Theft Auto IV.
Well, I've been playing GTA4 now, non-stop, for about three years. I have over 3,000 hours of simulation time, which according to Anita Sarkeesian's expert testimony in front of the United Nations, probably makes me the worlds greatest rapist-cume-murderer
I guess what I'm saying is that you better watch your bussy pal.
Gamergate was legitimately the most fun I ever had on the internet, and that's a lot of internet too - we're talking decades, probably more internet than most of you've been alive.
Every day I regret that it's over and there's nothing left but some estradiol addled trannies and basement dwelling conservatives bickering at each other over f-list Twitter personalities.
I wouldn't put the blame fully on modern feminism. It's not like men are the bastion of reason and taking personal responsibility for their actions to avoid making the mistakes of their predecessors generationally. Gen Y and Z are both really spoiled.
I don't know why people are always so one sided in shitty relationships. Some people are just a bad match and it makes things worse for both of them being in a crappy unhealthy relationship. The bring out the worst sides in each other.
Yeah he's controlling, but maybe that's only because she went along with everything and if she hadn't he'd have acted differently. She'd be happier and it'd be less toxic. Or if she was able to say no, the relationship would have ended and saved the hurt and pain. People should just assume the other person is a monster unless that's really clear.
No idea about the career ruining stuff.
This is really sensible, and most people should act this way, no doubt.
The comments in this thread are all over the place because of a huge double standard we have in society. To put it bluntly - we generally shit on men who stay in obviously bad relationships, while overly sympathizing with women who do the same thing.
The subtle context here is that men are expected to have agency and be vocal about what they want, while women are expected to simply silently endure it.
You can see all over this thread people getting really bussy blasted at me for pointing this out and for expressing that I think the world would be a much better place if both men and women spoke their mind about how they feel instead of pretending they have a gun pointed at their head all the time. Unless of course they do, in which case they should find the cops.
You are one of the few people who isn't entirely cucked in this thread. People lament the usage of cuck, but I think it's quite descriptive of the blind servitude and self-sacrifice most most men give for women - the thankless hordes.
There's all kinds of relationships. I tend to find a lot of "bad male behaviour" is based on only certain types of men. Usually the arrogant shitheads who get lots of woman and honestly don't care beyond their own ego. I don't think Hardwick is that sort of guy.
On the flip side, while it's all blamed on him. He's still dating someone dealing with mental health problems, anorexia and all sorts of issues. I'm sure that was not an easy relationship for him either. Oh but it's his fault and he's evil and 100% knew.
I was listening to something a while back about the problem with men. It was a man talking about the problem and woman sitting around saying how true he was about men and their problems. The type of man he described was a rich football player who is constantly getting laid from lots of woman throwing themselves at and he doesn't give a damn about any of them. 100% that is who he was describing, it was Terry Crews. The odd thing is everyone was agreeing how right he was. That in no way represents the normal man.
Don't know why I bothered reading this thread because this is what I expected but if this a "standard" awful relationship for you, then you're pretty fucked up.
This is a controlling manitpulative person in power targeting someone to abuse, and then blacklist for leaving him. How are people saying this isn't MeToo? when he literally tried to destroy her career.
So she wouldn't have gotten anywhere if not for her connection to a man? She wouldn't have gotten further if she hadn't been with him? Can you define your inherently misogynistic position without counter-factuals?
Yeah I'm sure he had no influence whatsoever on her level of fame in nerd web series circles. And show where I said she contributed nothing to her own rise in status, it's like you've never heard of nuance.
You didn't make any point in your first comment. She was a literallywho and after dating him became slightly less of a nobody in the world of nerdosphere web series where he was already established. Yes it is absolutely reasonable to assume that's not a coincidence. If you're reading some kind of subtext beyond what I just said that, then that's your own confirmation bias.
Seems like most of the #MeToo stuff is just "I had a crappy boyfriend once and it's society's fault".
How can you tell? Most of the people I saw just posted MeToo and didn't elaborate what happened to them (and no one would ask for fear it might be rape or something)
I'm just judging based on the people who wrote self-centered articles about how they're a good little girl who dindu nuffin and how their boyfriend said a mean thing about her once and it was so rude.
It diminishes people who've actually been assaulted while self-promoting people who probably were half the problem in the relationship. These sort of people get together and feed off each other's bile.
I'm just sick of seeing "he said a mean thing about me, and he did this, and he did that..." and most of it is just typical unhealthy relationship stuff. It's not "patriarchy". Nobody's entitled to a relationship that's perfect. If you have higher standards, dump them and move on. If you don't have higher standards, get higher standards. Don't cry about it for attention later.
Like the time I called my ex-girlfriend a cunt. I must be a misogynist abuser. We were in a long distance relationship. I had asked her multiple times to get a day off, over a month in advance so we could go to the USC-Oregon game together(same year Reggie Bush won the Heisman). She worked at a Hawaiian fast food restaurant so it wasn't a big ask. Anyhow, she just didn't do it, which disappointed me, and so I ended up going to the game with my friends.
After the game and a few drinks I show up to her work to eat. She basically cold stares me and acts like she doesn't recognize me. Weird. I don't make an issue of it even though it was really off-putting and disrespectful, but whatever. I told her to call me when she got off of work so I could walk her home and spend time together. I headed to a close campus bar and waited with a few friends. After a couple of hours it got to the time she was supposed to get off and she called me to let me know that she was going to be about hour late because she fell behind. She explained why she was so cold to me when I came to the restaurant that some customer had just verbally abused her on the phone after an order and it had put her into a state of shock. It didn't compute to me why that would make her cold to me, but I forgave it and reminded her that I had been waiting for a couple of hours to walk her home and that I was dying to see her. Meanwhile, about another hour and a half pass and finally I decided to call her. She was at home. She had got a ride home with a male co-worker. I had waited for 3 1/2 hours to see her and to walk her home. We were long distance and I hadn't seen her for a couple of weeks. She explained that her co-worker had stayed past his working hours to keep her company because she was so upset and that she felt obligated when he offered her a ride home. I was literally less than a block away and she knew I was waiting to walk her home. So in a time of crisis(her words) she basically chose to take comfort in her co-worker over me.
It was pretty much a slap in the face and completely disrespectful to me. I walked by myself to her house and on continued the coldness. She was too upset to hang out. Mind you, I repeat, I hadn't seen her for a couple of weeks and had to leave the next day. So I ended up calling her a cunt that night and fucking left.
Of course, after the relationship ended, she told me that I was abusive.
tldr - Ex girlfriend was called a cunt because she acted like a cunt. Was labeled abuser.
This sounds like a way-more-than-standard awful relationship. How many "standard awful relationships" end with one partner being blackballed from their career by successful conniving on the part of the ex?
She writes:
Because of my leaving him for someone else, he made calls to several companies I received regular work from to get me fired by threatening to never work with them. He succeeded. I was blacklisted. With the assistance of a woman who’d gained my trust and my heart over the past year, he steamrolled my career. [emphasis hers]
...
While we were together, he repeatedly shared with me that he was terrified I would talk publicly about how he treated me, but I’m done protecting him at the expense of my own mental health. He talked about me publicly, incorrectly speculating loudly and regularly that I was sleeping around on him, on multiple occasions (once in front of an audience of thousands at a convention). It got so bad I ended up having to ask my lawyer write his a letter.
If what she wrote is true, she sounds kind of justified in seeking revenge. Even if you think she was an idiot for going along with the relationship in the first place! I agree that she's responsible for her behavior, but he's responsible for dragging their story into the public eye.
Because of my leaving him for someone else, he made calls to several companies I received regular work from to get me fired by threatening to never work with them. He succeeded. I was blacklisted.
I know a number of people that have tried this. This guy was successful because he has some modicum of celebrity, but a lot of them just go for the "I wanted to let you know your employee is [a whore/does drugs/rapes people/whatever awful] thing and you should know about it" routine. And sometimes it works.
While we were together, he repeatedly shared with me that he was terrified I would talk publicly about how he treated me, but I’m done protecting him at the expense of my own mental health.
Sounds pretty standard to me, in the sense that one or both partner's anxieties create an unhealthy response. Most people in crappy relationships put up with way more than they should and will even defend a lot of the behavior.
He talked about me publicly, incorrectly speculating loudly and regularly that I was sleeping around on him, on multiple occasions (once in front of an audience of thousands at a convention). It got so bad I ended up having to ask my lawyer write his a letter.
Only non-standard thing I see here is that this guy has an audience of thousands (which isn't much, but it beats the handful or dozens that most people would have to complain to). Lots of crappy partners go whine and complain, even if they have to lie. It's not uncommon at all.
They just sound like two awful people who were bad for each other. I just specifically think it's funny how people present it as "oh wow I'm such a victim" when most of the time they're just as guilty and it was a bad combination. They make it seem like "he told all his friends I abuse/cheat/whatever" is some horrible crime. It's an awful thing to do, but it's super common in bad relationships.
Okay a few things. She willingly stayed so she made her own bed. Sounds like a real asshole but she put up with to be with someone rich and famous. Not saying what he did was right.
Willingly stayed, specifically cause it seems like the BS rules were literally set from the start. Not like he became a controlling fuckwad, he lead with that. Turns out controlling fuckwads are.. yknow.. controlling fuckwads.
I think /u/lickedTators was referring to the things in the red circle on the right (and maybe the red circle on the left) and not the stuff in the black circle, but I could be wrong.
I picked a douchebag, then continued to stay by his side even though he was a douchebag, and now I want to complain about my bad decision making abilities. /#metoo
No I don't think she did at all. She was listing what others may typically guess why she stayed, then at the end gave the real reason if you read it again
Here is my answer: I believed that, to borrow an analogy from a friend, if I kept digging I would find water. And sometimes I did. Just enough to sustain me. And when you’re dying of thirst, that water is the best water you’ll ever drink. When you’re alienated from your friends, there’s no one to tell you that there’s a drinking fountain 20 feet away. And when your self-worth reaches such depths after years of being treated like you’re worthless, you might find you think you deserve that sort of treatment, and no one else will love you.
Yea I'm going to have to call bull shit on that. She had a wealthy family and a great support network.
What? You totally just shit on your own argument. She had no need to "ride his fortune", she was born rich. Her dad is John Dykstra, one of the most successful special effects artists in the world, a multi-millionaire.
Doesn't mean it was her money or money she had access to. Clearly her father didn't raise her not to date giant assholes or tell her not to date Chris after this started...so I'm guessing he wasn't supporting her or really involved with her during her relationship with Chris.
I don't think she asked to be treated like the dumb vapid trophy she evidently is.
I do think however that adults bear the responsibility of choosing who they associate with. If she was willing to compromise her morals or standards in order to be with Senior Douchecanoe, then that's on her.
Last time I checked, having a double X chromosome isn't enough by itself to make you mentally retarded, although I do admit that sometimes the harridans on Twitter put that theory to the test.
Adults find themselves in abusive relationships, romantic or otherwise, all the time. It happens to men and women. I'm sure if you're old enough you have at least one male friend who settled down with or married a crazy bitch or someone who spent at least a year under a boss with a "temper". A lot of the time the warning signs are there right away, but sometimes they're not or the other person isn't equipped to detect them for whatever reason. I wouldn't pass judgement and I don't understand why you're turning this into some sort of gender issue when both adult men and women enter relationships exactly like the one described in the blogpost.
You haaaad to serious post at me. Oh, alright, fine then.
First off, I actually absolutely agree with you. I myself have made plenty of poor decisions about women that I've dated and I know I did.
The difference is, I'm not blaming those women for being who they are. The fault, as it is, lies solely with myself. I'm the one who compromised. I'm the one who decided to overlook things. I'm the one that decided that I could just ride things out until I somehow magically got happier with the situation.
What can I say, I was young and dumb at the time.
Point being - You don't see many men running around there writing 2000 word hit pieces about how shitty their partners were and acting like they're being victimized for their own poor decision making process. When you do, it's guys like Eron Gjonji and we all know how that turned out, don't we?
A lot of people seem to be of the opinion that women are babies and incapable of any sort of agency. Things just happen to them never because of what they choose. As both a husband and a father to a little girl, I happen to think that's a pretty low bar to set for half of the population. So yeah, I shit on it whenever I see it. It sure beats the trend of continuing to treat them like infants.
You don't see many men running around there writing 2000 word hit pieces about how shitty their partners were and acting like they're being victimized for their own poor decision making process
Untrue af and you've been here long enough to know that.
Due to terrible western culture many girls have severe self esteem issues that lead them to catastrophic paths. Instead of victim blaming try to make sure your daughter is not one of them.
Instead of victim blaming try to make sure your daughter is not one of them.
Well geeze, I never thought of that before! Maybe if miss sparklepants here had more self worth than to try to hook up with a guy 20 years her senior who obviously treated her like a trophy bimbo, no one would be making fun of her stupid life choices.
If only her parents had taught her to have better self esteem this could have been avoided. And here my plan was to make sure my kids understand that they need to rely on themselves and be confident in doing whats best for them.
Maybe if miss sparklepants here had more self worth than to try to hook up with a guy 20 years her senior who obviously treated her like a trophy bimbo
You can't just pick to NOT have a personality disorder. Your belief that 100% of humans have complete agency over their actions is incorrect.
>imblying those men don't stick to those awful women because they're shallow idiots who will compromise on anything as long as an attractive woman gives them succ
I don't remember him saying she deserves it, In fact noone here is saying explicitly that she deserved anything, we all deserve to be treated nice and fairly. Is that reality? No. Is there things we can do to improve our chances of being treated well. Yes. This happens to alot of people, I've personally witnessed things like this in my own home life and have alot of anger towards the men who do things like this. HOWEVER. You have to accept responsibility for your own decisions. I am just as mad at my own mom as I am her abuser. She stayed. She knew, and she stayed. I don't pretend to understand the inner machinations of her mind during this time period but I can say as an outsider that it was hurtful for her to stay while forcing her children to watch abuse unfold before their very eyes. Sometimes you have to grow up and take responsibility for your actions. She CHOSE OF HER OWN FREE WILL, to date a man 20+ years older than her. She CHOSE OF HER OWN FREE WILL to stay when things got bad. SHE CHOSE to not say no, whether that's out of fear or w/e. She made really bad choices in life, should we feel bad for her? Maybe. I certainly do. It's a slippery slope that leads to who knows what. More and more men I talk to are straight up afraid of dating women now. I don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing, but I do know that if a women set up rules for our relationship 2 weeks in, i'd bounce. I think we shouldn't reward lack of common sense with our attentions. I think she suffered and I do feel for that, but I also think she brought that suffering on herself due to lack of knowledge or something else entirely.
Nobody said she deserved abuse nor that Chris Hardwick is anything but a spindly little turd with delusions of grandeur. They're just saying that, at some point, adults have to take responsibility for their choices. If we're going to defer to psychology to explain why they stick around, at what point does any action become that individual's responsibility? Are they simply leaves in the wind, unable to go anywhere but where the wind blows them?
If we're going to defer to psychology to explain why they stick around, at what point does any action become that individual's responsibility
That's a great point and pertinent to the metoo movement (QED, basically) we've decided to settle this strictly down gender lines.
Men are stupid and weak if they stay in bad relationships.
Women are virtuous and suffering if they stay in bad relationships.
I'm tossing out a huge generalization here, but you can see this happening in real time in this thread with how bussy blasted people are getting on calling out that this woman is responsible for her own choices in dating a middle aged geezer who straight up obviously wanted a trophy bimbo.
I do think however that adults bear the responsibility of choosing who they associate with.
Agreed - she should have gotten out immediately. The thing is - she have suffered many consequences from not doing that already. Your opinion of her is not a meaningful consequence.
We should focus on both imo, If we're ever to fix this problem as a society we need to take a critical look at both sides of the story to analyze. In reality we shouldn't be looking at either side, this should remain private between her Support Network and His Lawyers and hers. Consuming this type of media is bad for all of us. and intentionally putting it out "to get it all out" is worse. If you want closure. Tell your therapist, she or he will help you get closure. You want to warn people? Why? Normal smart people know this. Tackle the underlying issues, lack of education. Delve into that full-time if you actually want to help. When I see articles and essays like this it doesn't make me think they want to help and they're as self-less as they'd like to seem.
Oh, so you can keep /r/drama as a safe space where you can blame victims of abuse for their abuse? Let me guess, you're sexually frustrated and hate women because you can't get one.
I think playing devils advocate doesn't automatically make him or anyone an INCEL, and I think that just assuming that anyone who disagrees with you is a scumbag is a very unhealthy way to learn/argue/grow as a person.
I think the #metoo movement should be open to fair criticism, just like anything else. I do not think he was outright blaming the victim, at least it didn't come across that way to me. I think he's trying to tackle the over-arching issue and that didn't come across right.
Your comment may appear reasonable, but no well-adjusted, rational person would read his bilious, insulting, victim-blaming comment and jump in to defend it as simple playing devil's advocate or "tackling the over-arching issue." There are situations where there aren't good people on both sides of an issue. This is one of them.
How exactly do you imagine he was "tackling the over-arching issue?" Was it when he literally said the victim of abuse was just "complaining" about a bad decision, when she detailed the abuse she suffered?
Nobody is implying that the metoo movement should be immune from criticism. What specific criticism was he leveling at the metoo movement that you believe was valid?
What, exactly, did you infer from his comment that motivated you to defend him?
I do enjoy debating, but I don't think I'd fit in. I sincerely find it offensive when victims of abuse are blamed for the abuse, like it was a simple matter of choice.
Are you able to detail how my comments fit the stereotype of a "crazy cat lady?" Seems like more simple-minded misogyny to me, but maybe you'll surprise me.
It's the equivalent of an angry, sexually frustrated misogynistic virgin.
Crazy cat ladies are a joke on the fact that since they couldn't get dick, they replace men with cats, making them essentially an angry, sexually frustrated misandrist. See? It can go both ways. Try not to jump at people's throats if you can't take backlash.
Or do. All it does is make the situation more scrumptious for people like me who are here for the sweet sweet drama lolz.
You went straight to insulting to the virility of a man. Calling him a sexually frustrated misogynistic asshole. When anyone tries to reason with you, instead of offering sane counter arguments, you go straight into the defensive, accusing them of being misogynists, ignorants, or whatever anti man nomenclature the feminists are using now.
You sound exactly how the archetype of the feminazi movement sounds, in all her man-hating, woman elevating, self-victimization and thrash attitude glory.
But, then again, it's CURRENT_YEAR. You can be the crazy cat-lady if you want to. Don't let nobody tell you the contrary. Go, you!
Christ, look at the bubble you live in. I believe I said he sounded like a sexually frustrated misogynistic asshole, because he did. The fact that you believe calling a man out on sexism is an attack on all men, says far more about you.
Look up the definition of ignorant. It has nothing to do with gender.
I definitely don't think it is her fault at all. But if I were a raging alcoholic, unable to stop myself, I wouldn't blame the liquor store for taking my money. So yeah he was emotionally manipulative and took advantage of someone. But that's not rape though.
Well shit I guess we're not so different after all. See we can disagree with a metoo-er's definition of sexual assault, AND still all agree Chris H is human garbage
I read alot of his comments on this post, so forgive me if this wasn't one of the ones where he was discussing how women in the past were treated like children etc. I just also want to point out that calling someone an incel for simply not agreeing with you doesn't seem very well-adjusted, and rational. Debate is good for you, it helps strengthen your argument to criticism and is healthy. I don't think he was victim blaming at all and I think you're projecting that onto him.
Sorry but that type of attitude is detrimental to fixing the root cause of these issues. Whatever they may be. Noone is immune from blame NO MATTER WHAT mental gymnastics you manage to perform.
Gross. If a complete stranger broke into your house and slit your throat, I'm sure you'd blame yourself. Oh wait, of course you wouldn't because this is all a fallacious rationalization.
Not that you'll actually bother to answer a direct question (I wonder why), but what is the root cause of "these issues" and how should they be "fixed?"
I don't know, If I had to guess I'd say lack of better education. We could attempt to target public schools with more funding? Uh maybe pay teachers better? This is a societal problem and the solution will come from discussing both points of view and sides. Also I don't see how the slitting throat thing comes into play at all.
I'm not saying she deserved to be attacked, I feel terrible for her I do. Maybe you're not getting that? I'm simply stating that Your attitude towards any discourse is toxic, and frankly I'm done arguing with you.
My attitude toward discourse is open, as evidenced by the fact that I repeatedly tried to have an actual discussion with you, but you primarily sidestepped every question, so you could stick to your narrative. I'm glad you reluctantly exhibited some empathy, but you've already made your actual stance on the matter clear, though you tried your best to hide it behind a transparent "both sides" false equivalency.
Nobody is implying that the metoo movement should be immune from criticism. What specific criticism was he leveling at the metoo movement that you believe was valid?
PoundMeToo was about rape, now it has been trivialized into any kinds of slight against women, as u/VidiotGamer has demonstrated here.
Your first response to him was to flip your shit, but you're the one calling him not well-adjusted, and essentially an angry virgin? Look at snallygaster's comment below. That is a well-adjusted, fair-on-point comment, and nobody gives her shit for it.
It's disgusting how these white. cis. scum. are allowed to criticize feminism without severe punishment or at least prosecution. That's all I have to say on the matter, I'm too upset to continue this discussion after that scumbag belittled the metoo movement. HE BELITTLED IT. THE METOO MOVEMENT.
What decision did the victim of abuse in this case not take responsibility for?
How specifically should she have taken responsibility for it, in your mind?
Are you aware that people don't always make rational decisions, especially when they are victims of abuse?
Do you know what Stockholm syndrome is? Do you believe it's real? If a female victim of abuse suffered from Stockholm syndrome, how would that fit with your implication that this is just a matter of personal responsibility?
What if the genders were reversed and it was a man in the exact same situation? Would you say the exact same thing, that he should just take responsibility and presumably not tell people about the abuse?
he didn't trick her, or manipulate her. he told her from the start what his conditions are for a relationship, and she agreed to his conditions of her own volition.
How specifically should she have taken responsibility for it, in your mind?
well, when I was with a woman who turned out super controlling, I ended that relationship.
Victims of abuse often don't make rational decisions about relationships. This is common knowledge and obvious to anyone with empathy. It's easy to make flippant, belittling comments from outside of a relationship, with no understanding of what being in an abusive relationship is actually like. You've framed this like it's a simple matter of the victim not making a choice to end a relationship, but that just shows your complete ignorance on the matter.
If Chloe was a the man in that relationship and Chris the woman, nobody would give a shit. They'd probably just make fun of him. Or consider Gjoni's case, where Zoe's buddies did a complete DARVO -- deny, attack, reverse victim and offender.
Why is that so? Because men are assumed to be full adults, who are responsible for their decisions.
Chris Hardwick emotionally abused his girlfriend (not by cheating). He claims she cheated. Your whole argument is a simple false equivalency, equating her possibly cheating with his actual abuse. It's facile and specious.
The text messages he kept prove that she cheated , you are the one if I recall correctly brought up emotional abuse unless Im mistaken (you haven't confirmed or denied this)cheating on your partner is a form of emotional abuse unless you believe that being cheated on does not effect a somebodies mental or emotional state. If so please give me an argument on why doesn't effect them negatively.
Cheating can be a component of abuse, but it's not inherently abuse. Even so, are you actually suggesting that her cheating on him was equal to the abuse she detailed, or that she deserved it for cheating? I can't even tell what your point is.
You're coming up with alot of conjecture and being overly defensive from my original question of "why you're not mad about about her emotionally abusing him by cheating on him" , I do have an ulterior motive of asking you this question but it's not the conclusions you have came up with.
The only argument I've made is that cheating is a form of emotional abuse and you have finally made a concession on my point so I think my argument is coherent enough if it made you admit that it hold's some truth to it. The only problem is that you are worrying about things that unrelated to that question. Try not to worry about unnecessary thoughts it will clear your mind and help see things clearly .
Making rules in a relationship can equally be a component of abuse but's it's not inherently abusive either. I don't know if the whole black balling her in hollywood part is true or not , after the break up he could of refused to use his connections to help her get roles anymore which is understandable because he doesn't owe her anything at that point but he didn't inherently try to sabotage her career. If actually true then I would see it as malicious but I don't know if is because her ability to get roles were jumpstarted by her relation to him in the first place.
You complain about conjecture and then write a wall of text that's almost all conjecture in service to a point you've conspicuously avoided stating. You also don't understand what "inherently" means if you are arguing that "he didn't inherently try to sabotage her career" by blackballing her.
You're twisting yourself into knots trying to make what she allegedly did abuse and what he allegedly did not so bad. It would be impressive, if it weren't such a transparently misogynistic waste of time.
"I do have an ulterior motive..." Did you honestly think that wasn't obvious?
"You have made a concession to my point..." No, I didn't. I said cheating can be a component of abuse, not that it's by itself abuse. Like a spoon can be used as a weapon, but isn't inherently.
Rules in relationships may not be inherently abuse, but his rules were. We're not talking about all possible rules. We're talking about the specific rules detailed.
"I don't know if the whole black balling part is true or not..." You don't know if any of it is true or not, so you can either take it all at true or none of it. Cherry-picking which parts you're going to believe makes your motivation even more transparent.
...I don't believed I complained about your conjecture ,I just pointed it out in case you were unaware but obviously that isn't the case nad you are cognizant of that and you purposefully choose to do that .
"You're twisting yourself into knots trying to make what she allegedly did abuse and what he allegedly did not so bad."
I agreed with you that making rules in a relationship can be a form of abuse , and you agreed with me that cheating on someone can be a form of emotional abuse. The logical conclusion from our discourse is that they were both be equally abusive to each other.
"No, I didn't. I said cheating can be a component of abuse, not that it's by itself abuse." You agreed that it can be a component of abuse , that means it can be abuse ,therefore that's your concession. In this situation it was a form of abuse if it got a reaction out of chris if it got such a negative reaction that it made him break up with her.
"Rules in relationships may not be inherently abuse, but his rules were. We're not talking about all possible rules. We're talking about the specific rules detailed."
For clarity sake which rules do you have problem with and what makes them abusive?
"You don't know if any of it is true or not, so you can either take it all as true or none of it. Cherry-picking which parts you're going to believe makes your motivation even more transparent"
As I said in the very sentence you quote I don't know if it's true or not , that means I am neutral to what I believe with reasonable skepticism but not dismissing the claim.
"I don't believed I complained about your conjecture ,I just pointed it out in case you were unaware..."
Very believable.
"...and you agreed with me that cheating on someone can be a form of emotional abuse."
Again, I didn't. I thought the spoon analogy would help you understand. Guess not.
"The logical conclusion from our discourse is that they were both be equally abusive to each other."
You finally got to your point! It's just a shame it's very illogical. "Equally abusive" sure sounds like the false equivalency I mentioned several comments ago, based on too little information and motivated reasoning. It's almost like you're predictable and transparent.
"In this situation it was a form of abuse if it got a such a negative reaction out of chris that it made him break up with her."
No. A negative reaction is not proof of abuse. More conjecture and fallacious reasoning.
"As I said in the very sentence you quote I don't know if it's true or not..."
If that's where your comment ended, maybe I'd believe that, but the rest of your comment suggests otherwise.
"Again, I didn't."
Im going to quote you "Cheating can be a component of abuse" you literally typed this. You can go back and read your post if you don't believe me.
"You finally got to your point! It's just a shame it's very illogical. "Equally abusive" sure sounds like the false equivalency I mentioned several comments ago, based on too little information and motivated reasoning. It's almost like you're predictable and transparent."
This "point" was not an objective of mine ,I asked about you not being mad about her cheating , you became very defensive and ultimately agreed that it was a form of abuse.
You are quite predictable as well, you tried to derail the topic with conjecture and avoid the initial counterpoints with more conjecture but I knew that when originally replied to you and I was fine with that. I don't see what predictability has to with anything , it'd be odd if either one of us was completely random wouldn't it?
By any chance do you want to explain why it's illogical or do you plan on glossing over that in your next reply?
"No. A negative reaction is not proof of abuse. More conjecture and fallacious reasoning."
So just so were clear you don't believe that chris being cheated on by his girlfriend caused him emotional and mental pain by his girlfriend who was cognizant of the fact they were a couple in a closed relationship? why?
"If that's where your comment ended, maybe I'd believe that, but the rest of your comment suggests otherwise."
See, this is such a waste of my time. You are either unable or unwilling to understand or acknowledge how the phrases "component of" and "form of" differ. I've tried repeatedly to explain basic concepts to you, and none of it sinks in. I've humored your disingenuous requests for explanations, but you have no interest in actually understanding. You just want a platform for your pseudo-intellectual sophistry. Your act is unconvincing and tiring. Just tell yourself you've won this argument and that 'both sides' are equally at fault, so you can justify your thinly-veiled misogyny.
"You are quite predictable as well..."
I think that's enough for me. You've outsmarted me with your big, big brain.
I applaud you that was a skillful tactical retreat worthy of a five star general, the way you repeatedly tried to derail discussion with your conjecture of who you thought I was and what point I was trying to make.
I've won zilch because I have nothing invested on either side of the debate , I don't actually like hardwick as a person or his comedy and I don't know his ex girlfriend.Truth be told Im taking schadenfreude from his misfortune.
Unfortunately I never got to my objective , because of your brilliant derailment stratagem.
Cya for what it's worth it's been a somewhat stimulating conversation. Good luck with your classes.
You may prefer to argue endlessly, without ever getting to your "objective" (hilarious), but a good general knows when a battle isn't worth fighting. This is one of those times. Until you can acknowledge or understand the definitions of words like "inherent," "component," and "form," any attempt to discuss more complex concepts will be rendered impossible.
Though your compliments and niceties are as disingenuous as ever, I will enjoy my classes. Teaching them, that is.
Im somewhat surprised genuinely thought your last reply would be your last reply, but judging how you type's always feel the need to get the last word I had a small hunch you might cave.
I tried to get to my objective through natural progression , but you kept throwing soft balls at me, changing the goal post , conjecture etc. each derailment argument you made from incomplete information about me provoked a reply from me .
If you're in college you should try to take a neutral standpoint in a debate let the opponent throw his ideas he's put out and not the idea's you "think" he's trying to make so you'll both have a better understanding of each other and easier time to dissect one's ideas.
So are you an English professor or something ? It would explain alot. I assumed you were in college but didn't think you'd be a certified teacher .
Well good luck on grading those papers and giving F's to everyone with a different mind frame then you .
You have a complete lack of self-awareness; you don't even realize how much you're projecting. And of course you have such a high opinion of your intellect. You're like the poster child for the Dunning-Krueger effect.
If you want to sound intelligent, start with learning to spell, punctuate, and use grammar correctly. You don't pluralize common nouns with an apostrophe, genius.
"I tried to get to my objective through natural progression..."
Haha, it must be someone else's fault that you couldn't make your own point, right? Damn, you're delusional.
Let's see if you can take your own advice and not be one of those "type's" that has to get the last word. No, you'll be just as predictable as ever and do exactly what you project onto others. You just can't help it. You're a just a simple automaton with delusions of grandeur.
"You have a complete lack of self-awareness; you don't even realize how much you're projecting. And of course you have such a high opinion of your intellect. You're like the poster child for the Dunning-Krueger effect."
I find it ironic that you're projecting your own personality on to me. was this intended if so bravo
"If you want to sound intelligent, start with learning to spell, punctuate, and use grammar correctly. Learn what words mean before using them. Here's one tip: you don't pluralize common nouns with an apostrophe, genius."
Thank's professor.
"Haha, it must be someone else's fault that you couldn't make your own point, right? Damn, you're delusional."
You absolutely refuse to have a normal conversation without projecting false beliefs onto the person you're conversing with and you love to throw out ad homeian attacks when you perceive your ego threatened , you're a little bit childish. For most of the debate I wasn't rude to you and tried create a platform where we could just express ideas towards one another , and you refused to participate in a proper manner
"Let's see if you can take your own advice and not be one of those "type's" that has to get the last word. No, you'll be just as predictable as ever and do exactly what you project onto others. You just can't help it. You're just a simple automaton with delusions of grandeur."
What are you talking about that wasn't advice, there's nothing in that opening sentence of mine that can be constructed as advice, I understand that you're filled with alot feminine energy right now(nothing wrong with that) but try to hone in on what every masculine energy you posses to comprehend the intention of the meaning of my sentences.
"I understand that you're filled with alot feminine energy right now(nothing wrong with that) but try to hone in on what every masculine energy you posses to comprehend the meaning of my sentences."
I love it. The more you talk, the more you prove correct everything I've said about you. You probably can't even understand why what you wrote is so comical. The onus isn't on me to try to understand your attempts at English and debate. Go (back) to school and learn how to communicate effectively.
You didn't even attempt to point what's wrong with that sentence and you made another generic blanket statement like go back to school. I don't even know what you're trying to make other then trying to protect your ego , if that make's you feel better then , then do continue to do to keep your mood and sanity .
I could either learn wha'st wrong with that sentence or what you perceive incorrect about it if you actually participate in a normal conversation.
Poor little guy doesn't like being told to go back to school, after telling me to enjoy my classes. But, you didn't mean that as an insult, right?? You think you're very clever by intimating things and then denying them when I point them out directly. Funny how you somehow can't realize your own hypocrisy and projection.
Every time I've tried to explain something to you, you've either been unable or unwilling to understand, as I've already told you. I'm sorry that your grasp of spelling, vocabulary, grammar, and punctuation are so bad, you can't recognize the many very obvious errors in your comments. Is your poor ability to communicate my problem? Should I hold your hand and walk you through every glaring mistake? No. I've tried.
Why don't you show someone with an education the last quote of yours I posted, and see what they say? Something tells me they just might notice some issues with your ability to convey information, haha.
As I've already tried to explain numerous times, I can't have an actual discussion with you because you've repeatedly demonstrated a lack of understanding of the words both you and I are using. If you've forgotten already, please look back to previous comments where I've futilely attempted to get you to understand basic definitional differences.
But, of course you'll ignore or misunderstand this comment too, so you can try "to protect your ego." You are so oblivious. I can't force you to understand concepts. That's up to you
I'm expecting no reply because of the length of time since we last talked but what are your thoughts about chris hardwick being the host of talking dead again, do you still believe chloe dykstra interpretation of events? for what reason do you think she refused to partake in the investigation amc was having if she allegedly had evidence ?
Right, they could have also been raised around unhealthy abusive relationships and as a result end up in unhealthy abusive relationships. It's hard to break the cycle. Anyone that has ever taken even a basic psychology course would understand why.
Yeah, this is literally psych101. I don't why all the neckbeards on this shithole sub have a hard time understand this. Women psychologically and morally deficient. You can not expect them to take responsibility for their own actions.
Once Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) went out to the Musalla (to offer the prayer) of `Id-al-Adha or Al-Fitr prayer. Then he passed by the women and said, "O women! Give alms, as I have seen that the majority of the dwellers of Hell-fire were you (women)." They asked, "Why is it so, O Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) ?" He replied, "You curse frequently and are ungrateful to your husbands. I have not seen anyone more deficient in intelligence and religion than you. A cautious sensible man could be led astray by some of you." The women asked, "O Allah's Messenger (ﷺ)! What is deficient in our intelligence and religion?" He said, "Is not the evidence of two women equal to the witness of one man?" They replied in the affirmative. He said, "This is the deficiency in her intelligence. Isn't it true that a woman can neither pray nor fast during her menses?" The women replied in the affirmative. He said, "This is the deficiency in her religion." (Sahih al-Bukhari 304)
Best case scenario for the guy: everyone would make fun of him.
Worst case scenario for the guy would be what happened to Eron Gjoni.
I really like where you just completely blank this, after trying to pull "but what if the genders where reversed"...so you could cry about "empathy". It's so easy to make flippant belittling comments about what others face isn't it?
I responded about eron gjoni in another comment. Firstly, I don't even know who this guy is that you're all obsessed with, but I would have said the exact same thing if I saw him being mocked for admitting his abuse. Men are actually mocked more than women about abuse. Abuse is abuse, regardless of gender.
Would you? He was rather publicly derided for coming out about his abusive relationship. He'll his abusive ex even gloated online and somehow has been held as a champion and victim in it all. And hey in spite of there being literal court documents where she used his own SELF-harm and depression to frame him as a danger to HER, she now uses corpses of dead men who commited suicide to pretend she cares about mental health in men and get's clapped for it of social media, like ignoring how much she's shat on depression in men in her life....you're all the same. And frankly I'd be shocked if you are so ignorant of the incident since most major news outlets covered it and has continue to cover her since.
And really that "would", should be a "do", since this kind of belittlement of male victims of sexual abuse, abusive relationships and rape, happens on a fucking daily basis, you didn't even need to ask the question what if, just so you could spout your platitudes and pretend offence and pretend like you actually give two shits about "both sides", the reality is there to see and your willful ignorance of it just says a lot more about you then anyone else.
You only think men are mocked less then women because you choose to be ignorant of reality and because of people like you who apparently totally care about us too, yet allow those narratives to be used against us and trivialise it when it is men and not women, less men come forward to begin with, but sure blame them for not coming forward because fall all your sensitivity and crying about victim blaming your heavy handed language is fucking bullshit. You and people like you will always be worse the shit heads on drama, you are trying to frame you basic ass, ignorance, toxic fuck hot-manure bad takes as "progressives" "caring" "activism" "feminism" or whatever, they don't, they don't push this shit out on the wider world. And shitheads at "AHS" who just want to control narratives, they don't give about "hate speech", most of them, mods included coming from spaces that use bigoted, homophobic sexist, hate speech "when the target is right" are all the fucking same. Fuck you and fuck your little performance. I'm over it.
Gjoni wasn't abused. He was a big bitch that couldn't get over the fact that the one woman that paid attention to him was moving on. He even said in the zoepost they were on break when all the "abuse" happened.
Gjoni wasn't abused. He was a big bitch that couldn't get over the fact that the one woman who paid attention to him wasn't interested anymore. He even said they were on a break when all the "abuse" happened.
When there's a court order saying "get over your ex numbnuts" you're just victimizing yourself.
That is an incredibly reductive and inaccurate portrayal of what the majority of feminists actually believe. You've bought into far too much propaganda, my friend.
No idea what this has to do with what you said about feminism, but it's obvious you're not putting in the effort or at the very least engaging in motivated reasoning/bad faith, so... see ya.
Jesus Christ did you really just compare this situation to Stockholm syndrome? Situations where people are chained, physically trapped, and have their lives threatened? This is some next level exaggeration.
To answer your question, no. I used Stockholm Syndrome to illustrate a concept that you and others in this thread struggle with: even if a relationship seems fine (with the limited info you have) and the victim of abuse isn't physically imprisoned or beaten, they can still be manipulated, abused, and trapped.
You are yet another sheltered, ignorant guy that thinks they know everything about abusive relationships without having any experience with them or studying then. The fact that he told her his requirements does not mean that he wasn't abusive or that she could just leave on a whim. You can develop serious, crippling mental issues from abusive relationships, even if you're never hit, imprisoned, or threatened.
But it's easier to just keep believing people stay in abusive relationships because they're stupid, right? Keep that worldview black and white.
That's the whole point. Why even bring up Stockholm syndrome then? It's completely irrelevant. It'd be like me bringing up Sherita Dixon-Cole. Has nothing to do with these two psychos in a relationship together.
Anyways man, nice talking and I hope you have a good Monday.
And by the way... what are your qualifications? You keep replying to everyone saying "they don't know anything about abusive relationships". Are you a therapist?
I'm actually trying to help you here, so take this how you want:
nothing here is serious and the entire purpose of the subreddit is to rile people up and make them look silly. this is not a good place to get into it with people about anything serious or important
If that's true, how can you tell these people aren't just sincere? These exact comments are commonplace amongst actual misogynists. You're saying /r/drama is populated with satirists and not shitty people?
All that I meant is the problem you identified (the grey area between ironically enjoying something and just straight up enjoying it) is a well known concept for people who have spent any time on the web.
...the solution is not to take everything so seriously and care-post autistically in a sub that's specifically designed to trigger autistic care-posters.
Look, it doesn't matter if these people want to offend or not, they're saying shitty things and perpetuating hate. "Just trolling" isn't some magical defense.
Or, not one you can express coherently. I'm glad you're having fun, but people usually say things like that when they aren't and want to pretend they're above an argument.
HOW HAVE I NOT MADE IT CLEAR THAT NO ONE WILL TAKE YOU SERIOUSLY HERE
You are in a forum specifically made to make fun of people who care-post. The regular users regularly try to bait people into threads like these and make fun of them for caring.
I've told you all this, yet here you still are, posting earnestly like everyone here is just a poor misguided soul who needs a little compassion and understanding.
You are exactly the type of person this sub gleefully feeds off of.
So? Even if this entire subreddit is just trolls or satirists, I don't see why you have a problem with me debating them. I don't actually believe everyone is just pretending though, and I don't think you do either. I think at least a portion of the people arguing with me actually believe what they're saying.
What they're saying is only a half-truth. People here say they don't love seriousposting, but they sure do love engaging in it.
I've seen people unironically get into arguments by saying something stupid that they sincerely believe and then reverting to the "lol stop seriousposting fag" after they're shown to be retarded by another user.
Lots of research also shows that sexist humor turns people misogynist. Though obviously there isn't even any humor in what /u/vidiotgamer says. He became a devoted gamergater in his 40s. Serious.
Gamergate was legitimately the most fun I ever had on the internet, and that's a lot of internet too - we're talking decades, probably more internet than most of you've been alive.
Every day I regret that it's over and there's nothing left but some estradiol addled trannies and basement dwelling conservatives bickering at each other over f-list Twitter personalities.
Do you have no self-awareness? It was the embarrassing as shit when our Internet fights went public. I remember celebrities started talking about it and I just wanted to die even though I knew my side was 100% in the right.
what kind of weirdo reads his own birth certificate
Well you see, the rest of us, actual adults who go out and do things like travel (get passports) or get fast food related jobs, occasionally have to look at official documents.
I guess, considering your lifestyle of eating tendies in your mums basement, it'll probably never come up for you.
lmfao you dont need to actually read a birth certificate to give it to some clerk, it's a birth certificate. do you really not know when and where you were born? that sort of brainrot would explain why you unironically care about gamergate i suppose
The results of three experiments supported the hypothesis that exposure to sexist humor increases tolerance of sex discrimination among people high in hostile sexism. The results of Experiment 1 revealed that for participants high in hostile sexism, exposure to sexist jokes led to greater tolerance of a sexist event in comparison to exposure to neutral jokes or nonhumorous sexist communications.
Experiment 1 demonstrated that hostile sexism predicted the amount of money participants were willing to donate to a women's organization after reading sexist jokes but not after reading nonhumorous sexist statements or neutral jokes. Experiment 2 showed that hostile sexism predicted the amount of money participants cut from the budget of a women's organization relative to four other student organizations upon exposure to sexist comedy skits but not neutral comedy skits.
Study 1, male students were exposed to either sexist or non-sexist jokes. Males exposed to sexist jokes reported higher levels of rape proclivity in comparison to males exposed to non-sexist jokes.Study 2 was an online study in which we replicated Study 1, but also measured male participants’ levels of hostile and benevolent sexism. Study 3 was a replication of Study 2, in which we controlled for the sexual content of the jokes. Overall, the results of Study 2 and Study 3 indicated that men who scored high (vs. low) on hostile sexism reported higher levels of rape proclivity after exposure to sexist versus non-sexist jokes.
If you're on reddit and call people you disagree with "shitty" then you're the embodiment of the stereotypical leddit soyboy and should definitely fuck off.
Like wanting respect for women is just a cliche fad.
Well, technically what you're asking is that we disrespect women by treating them like babies incapable of making even the most simplest of decisions in their own best interests if it involves getting sum dick.
Apparently this comment is controversial. I'm guessing the people who downvoted you are either new age "feminism is about equality of the genders" wishy washy cunts, or actual mens rights losers. Probably white too.
Wanting respect for women isn't. Wanting "respect" that's an excuse to show off how woke you are and doesn't respect shit is. People who actually respect women don't talk about how much they respect women, only losers tryna get laid do
How often are you talking about women's rights in your day to day life? This is not an average conversation Joe Blow typically has because life isn't tumblr or a college campus.
Do you just walk up to people and instantly start showing your wokeness?
I'm pretty sure since summer break, all of the kiddo (most likely being raised by intolerant xenophobic spiteful parents) are coming out of the woodwork.
I'm pretty new to this sub cause I thought it would be LOLZ but it's been mostly hateful, second grade level bullying and insults. Found out yesterday that I must be fat because only fat ugly women "femsplain".
So the r/drama thread has become more of a safe space for those seeking out the drama they are used to during the school year.
You're looking for /r/subredditdrama. /r/drama is a cryptohate sub (well we were but I think that got revoked at some point). Either way if you want feel good happy slappy hero pup you're not gonna find it here.
You should also try reading the sidebar and familiarizing yourself with the culture before you get twisted. And as always wear your seatbelt.
I asked the subreddit was normally this toxic. I was surprised to be honest, but I guess I'm not reading it enough.
Look, you can give me any percentage of soy you want, I don't understand why you think it matters. I do think it would bother you if I called you a fragile soyboy cuck snowflake though. It's a good thing I don't need to throw around meaningless insults to have a conversation.
You actually posted about us in AHS? Wait did you delete the thread out of embarassment lmfao
By the way, being 90% soy is an insult because eating nothing but soy means less protein, therefore weak and pathetic. Also apparently makes you produce oestrogen or some shit. Basically calling you a woman, one of the worst insults there is.
I hate women because of the retarded shit, as evidenced in the article you're trying to imply is something other than a woman acting like a complete retard. The fact you're defending this especially retarded female specimen leads me to believe you're either a female, or a man who suffers from some kind of brain damage.
Oh good, another one. So, in your comprehensive understanding of human psychology, victims of abusive relationships make a conscious, clear-headed decision to stay with abusers? Because that's what you're intimating. No, the issue here obviously isn't whether or not women have agency.
Of course. I got a good summer tan and colored my hair blue, wrote "black" and "gender queer" in my college applications. That's the only reason I got into Yale.
Are you seriously erasing this queer person of colours identity? You're probably a fucking transphobe too, seeing how little you care about how people identify. Please educate yourself.
I just love how you've decided that treating women like children who have no agency or responsibility of their own is the best way to go gender relations in CURRENT YEAR
Misogynists like you, who think that women are on the same level mentally and emotionally as small children?
Or are you more of a misandrist who thinks that anything bad that happens to a woman must be the fault of a man somehow, and that said woman couldn't have possibly done anything to prevent it from happening?
The radical thing is, not being a real psychologist, you have no fucking clue whether you’re right or not. You don’t understand what subjective means. Stop being so self righteous.
If I'm right about what, that victims of abuse don't always make rational decisions about relationships, and therefore shouldn't be blamed for it? You don't even need to ask a psychologist. You can just ask anyone who's ever dealt with a loved one in an abusive relationship. Or just read about the psychology of abuse.
And stop being so self-righteous. You have no fucking clue whether you're right or not.
woah that really sounds like the scientific method dude, 'just ask anyone who's dealt with it'. Because being part of something makes you an expert in the psychology behind it, surely? Because asking single people for anecdotal evidence is proof? You have, I can guarantee, not read shita ll on the psychology of abuse you're just spouting nonsense.
And don't just quote me back to me, I'm not being self-righteous at all. I'm literally just calling you out on your bullshit. Don't go pretending to know things with 0 backup it's sad and just spreads misinformation.
Nobody who cared about misinformation and non-anecdotal evidence would still be this ignorant when they could just take a minute to read up on something.
I'm asking rhetorically. You aren't even self-aware enough to apply anything you're saying to yourself. You're so bad at this. Your whole approach is uninformed, impotent rage and lazy trolling.
Imagine being so unintelligent you didn't realise I didn't once call you wrong.
Imagine being so stupid you couldn't even fathom that the only thing I've said is not to stand by pretending you know the subject when you don't and spouting nonsense pretending to know psychology.
God what a sad life you lead. Peace out you've wasted enough of my time you dum dum.
Haha, you actually looked it up, didn't you? I bet you wanted to prove me wrong, so you finally did some reading and saw I was right. You could have saved yourself a lot of time and a little dignity, but I guess better late than never.
okay so this is obviously a bait response but i'll bite bc at the moment you think you've somehow won but you literally don't even understand the discussion we've had.
how are you continuing to read my comments and actually think my issue was with whatever you were saying? literally read back throughout. I made it perfectly clear in my last comment that idgaf about abuse-related relationships, my issue is with you being self-righteous when you don't know sweet fuck all about psychology and probably have never read a book in your life. If you still can't understand that after this then I'm just gonna feel bad for ripping so hard on someone who has the reading comprehension that would make a 4 year old feel inadequate.
k dude, you are fully a lost cause, if there's one thing I hope you take away from this it's to try research shit before you go getting cunty on reddit.
if not for the fact that you got downvoted to shit, for the fact that you make your viewpoint look stupid by being as stupid and uneducated as you are, which is bad for victims everywhere.
But how do you know my viewpoint is stupid if you didn't do any research? Interesting pickle you've gotten yourself into. Are you claiming I'm wrong or not?
I never once said that your viewpoint was stupid. I don't know how obvious I can type that out. You, as a person, are about as stupid as I can imagine someone being, if only for the fact that you can't seem to understand the fact that I never said anything about victim-abuser relationships or that your viewpoint was wrong.
I said you need to back your shit up by reading or you look like an idiot. You can't just make baseless claims because 'well u dont even need to know psychology u can just tell'. That is what an idiot says.
Typing it out one more time in case you still are unsure and need more rereading.
I don't know about victim-abuser relationships and never said you were wrong on that front.
I do know that you shouldn't go claim shit as an armchair psychologist because it's spreading misinformation. You should know you're right and be able to back it up before you get cunty on reddit.
If you're not saying I'm wrong, how do you know it's "misinformation?"
Me calling myself an armchair psychologist doesn't mean I'm wrong. That's not what the qualifier "armchair" means. Is that what's causing your logical disconnect? I'm trying to help you here. You've gotten your ego all tied up in this and have blustered yourself into a corner.
Victims of abuse aren't always in full rational control of decision-making. You would know this for a fact too, if you would just do some of the research you're demanding I do.
You thought you'd win an argument because you were emboldened by my downvotes, but when I actually engage you in debate, you have literally nothing of substance to say. You act like you care about spreading misinformation, and keep calling me childish names, because that's literally the only things you can think to do.
But I'm sure, that was your last comment. No way will your fragile ego make you respond just. One. More. Time.
Hey buddy, CURRENT YEAR is a year of great change. We have to join together against BROAD DISPARAGED GROUP to stomp out VAGUE SOCIETAL ILL because it's CURRENT YEAR and it's time.
victims of abusive relationships make a conscious, clear-headed decision to stay with abusers?
It's amazing to me that you can spout garbage like that so self righteously.
Literally, no where in our society, is what you are espousing an excuse for someone not being culpable for having free will.
If you drink a bottle of vodka and get behind a wheel of the car, you're under far more of a diminished capacity yet you're still responsible for running over that family of four.
If you smoke a pack of cigarettes a day, an actual chemically addictive substance, no one is particularly surprised when you develop lung cancer.
If you stuff your mouth full of cake until you develop type 2 diabetes, we don't all shrug our shoulders and go "I wonder what happened?" when the doctors have to amputate your legs.
I get that you're a very well intentioned individual, but your desire to protect people (in this particular case, women) from the consequences of their own poor life choices is ultimately doing more harm than good. In fact, you're perpetuating the very cycle that is responsible for outcomes like this in the first place.
Ironically, you're actually a champion for rigidly enforced gender norms. That's probably going to fly right over your head, but I'm not going to be too surprised by that as I've never met a feminist who didn't 'damsel' women when it was convenient for them to do so.
Ironically, you're actually a champion for rigidly enforced gender norms. That's probably going to fly right over your head, but I'm not going to be too surprised by that as I've never met a feminist who didn't 'damsel' women when it was convenient for them to do so.
If you drink a bottle of vodka and get behind a wheel of the car, you're under far more of a diminished capacity yet you're still responsible for running over that family of four.
You made an informed decision to drink that bottle of vodka.
If you smoke a pack of cigarettes a day, an actual chemically addictive substance, no one is particularly surprised when you develop lung cancer.
Same, to start smoking.
If you stuff your mouth full of cake until you develop type 2 diabetes, we don't all shrug our shoulders and go "I wonder what happened?" when the doctor has to amputate your legs.
Irrelevant because doesn't involve impaired judgment?
I get that you're a very well intentioned individual, but your desire to protect people (in this particular case, women) from the consequences of their own poor life choices is ultimately doing more harm than good. In fact, you're perpetuating the very cycle that is responsible for outcomes like this in the first place.
I don't see how raising awareness of how abuse fucks with your head is going to make things worse. Do you expect women (or men for that matter) to be, like, "nice to know that less people will blame me for staying with the abusive asshole, now I can just as well enjoy my stay"?
I mean, even ignoring the fact that induced feeling of worthlessness is the primary motivation for staying so further shaming would only make things worse. Just ignoring that part, that shit you said there is still impressively retarded!
You made an informed decision to drink that bottle of vodka.
She made an informed decision to start a relationship with someone who upfront told her his expectations.
Same, to start smoking.
She made an informed decision to start a relationship with someone who upfront told her his expectations.
Irrelevant because doesn't involve impaired judgment?
Found the fatty.
I don't see how raising awareness of how abuse fucks with your head is going to make things worse.
I don't see how the complete abrogation of any sort of personal responsibility is going to empower people to carefully make positive decisions that benefit them.
This is not some sort of helpless damsel we're talking about, if such a thing even exists. This is a well educated white woman from an extremely affluent family (her father is a multi-millionaire). If she cannot be trusted to take responsibility for getting into a relationship when someone up front tells them their expectations then who the fuck can?
If you really cared about this issue as much as you seem to think you do, you'd be more offended that this spoiled brat is trivializing the experiences of women who actually do suffer abuse and have limited options to protect themselves.
Trust me pal, you out "misogyny" me any day of the weak. At least I see women as human beings instead of pets.
She made an informed decision to start a relationship with someone who upfront told her his expectations.
And she said that it was a huge mistake.
These were just a few of them. And I made the choice to accept his controlling behavior, as he’d just left his long-term girlfriend and I assumed that he was going through some serious emotional discomfort. This was a huge mistake.
I don't see how the complete abrogation of any sort of personal responsibility is going to empower people to carefully make positive decisions that benefit them.
You're being a typical SJW right now, except worse: instead of straightforwardly admitting that it's all about assigning blame, you also pretend that assigning blame is about getting good outcomes really.
We should tell everyone that a small fuck up like not recognizing such early warning signs can suck you into a very abusive relationship from which it would be as hard to get out as for a drunk person to refuse another drink. This is a fact and it is helpful.
Reinterpreting this fact as if it were talking about how blame is supposed to be assigned is retarded.
Also, I hope that we are on the same page wrt the guy being a total asshole and being upfront with his expectations is not an excuse for him? So it was entirely good for her to expose him?
Be honest here, after you read my post, how long did it take you to trawl through the medium post that you obviously didn't read just so that you could try to find something that might let you shift those goalposts just a tiny bit?
Look, this bimbo made her choice. It was an informed choice. She was never at any risk of physical danger. She wasn't in any sort of financial danger (she's rich). When her relationship ended, her partner didn't rush out and bad mouth her on the internet.
She's a fucking creep. She's using a movement that I might even tangentially agree with the premise of and cheapening it with her stupid retarded antics.
Be honest here, after you read my post, how long did it take you to trawl through the medium post that you obviously didn't read just so that you could try to find something that might let you shift those goalposts just a tiny bit?
About 2 minutes and I have no shame since it worked out in the end.
Now you be honest: how does it feel to downvote the person before replying to them because they hurt your seriousposting feelings? Do you think "that'll show them" or something?
I know that it was you because my first reply was at zero, now both my replies to you are at zero and it's quite unlikely that a butthurt passerby would downvote the first one, then another would downvote the second one.
You're disgusting and I don't even want to dignify you with an answer. /u/ComedicSans, please ban this little shit who goes against everything that /r/drama stands for!
Look, this bimbo made her choice. It was an informed choice.
No, she made a somewhat informed small choice in the beginning and then got way more and worse life than she have chosen.
I don't even discuss how much she is to blame, that's what your moralizing asshole can't help doing.
I'm saying that:
the world would be a better place if we inform people that ignoring them red flags could be a small mistake that ends up being a huge mistake.
the dude is a total asshole and exposing him is good.
No, she made a somewhat informed small choice in the beginning and then got a way worse life than she have chosen.
Bitch. This is how life works. At any time she can choose to get off the gape-town express to anal pounding town. If anyone can manage it, I'd imagine it's a rich Stacey with a connected daddy.
The fact that you're an utter mongoloid that stepped into a thread without knowing shit and instinctively jumped into "BUT WHAT ABOUT THE WHAMMENS!" is not my fault. You're a retard. Own that shit. It works for you. Some day, maybe even soon, people might finally care about you.
Bitch. This is how life works. At any time she can choose to get off the gape-town express to anal pounding town. If anyone can manage it, I'd imagine it's a rich Stacey with a connected daddy.
No, that's not how abusive relationships work. Even stacys like that have hard time getting out.
If you weren't so caught in the "she's nothing to be blamed for"/"it's all her fault" dichotomy like some, idk, what's the mirror opposite of autisms who's all into social shit and can't into logic and reason, you wouldn't be so upset about the facts.
She accuses him of blackballing her in her industry. I'm not sure if I believe her -- the story seemed a little... one-sided? Like half of a story? Also, it somehow didn't strike me that she was writing her piece because of the alleged blackballing, what with the foregrounding of all the other complaints.
I grant you that she should take responsibility for having involved herself with this guy, and it's frustrating that lots of #metoo supporters refuse to acknowledge that. But let's imagine for a second that she's not lying. The story, in that case, is not just, "He was a bad boyfriend, and I couldn't leave for vague reasons. And now I'm responding to his abuse in public." Rather, the story is, "He was a bad boyfriend, and I couldn't leave because (at least partly) he was threatening and scary. When I did finally leave, he harassed me in public and private, with disastrous consequences for my reputation career. And now I'm responding to his abuse in public."
If we grant that she's not lying -- and that he really did harass her in the way she alleges -- then isn't she pretty justified in coming after his ass? That's what it seems like to me.
Switch the genders for a second. Imagine a man starts going out with a woman, and throughout their relationship, she controls him via crazy, manic behavior -- let's say she frequently floats the idea that he might have abused her, when he did nothing of the sort. Let's say that after the man finally realizes he must end this relationship, she spreads a rumor in his professional circle that he really did abuse her. Let's say that this man begins to realize that he must live beneath a cloud of suspicion. And let's say that he issues a response, much like this essay, wherein, to defend himself, he explains the nature of his relationship with this girl, and documents all of the girl's horrifyingly manipulative behavior.
I'm sure you'd tell the guy he should take responsibility for his actions, but wouldn't you also think that his public defense was justified?
Of course, then we have to ask whether we think she's misrepresenting her ex's behavior after the relationship or not. And God, I don't know that I want to go down that rabbit hole.
Probably? Let's see your peer-reviewed, scientific sources for that belief. You do realize that what you just said is textbook misogyny, right? Naw, you don't.
Why, because women are crazier than men? Sorry, that's just a widely accepted fact. Something to do with the estrogens clouding out the brain, i forget yhe exact language the studies used.
Sorry, i'm going to have to redpill you. You see, its a fact that womens skulls are on average 3.6cm smaller than mens, as Schneider et al. (1932) found on examing euthanized asylum patients. Hildegaard (1928) proposed that the lacking female intellect was the direct result of bottled up psychic life force, which was later confirmed by Freud himself. What was bottling up the intellect?? Estrogen, which acts like calcium in the brain and literally calcifies the parts of the brain responsible for critical thinking. That's why women need so many institutions to tilt tge playing field in their favor; their brains are literally calcified by estrogen. And now it's starting to happen to men like you too (let me guess, you consume soy products...) as more estrogen makes its way into the tap water supply. I BEG you to try and refute that, but i doubt your marble brain can even comprehend complex thought like my own.
So, in your comprehensive understanding of human psychology, victims of abusive relationships make a conscious, clear-headed decision to stay with abusers?
But she wasn't abused. That's the point. He told her his conditions for the relationship, and that his last relationship ended due to lack of sex. So she had sex with him more often.
If she didn't want to, she could have left.
You're making her out to be a child incapable of making decisions.
Tbf, he's a real peach, but he was upfront with it. It wasn't a slow and malignant insidious bait and switch. At which point do you absolve someone completely of getting into a known bad situation with no real upside?
Just because victims of abuse make stupid decisions they later regret doesn't mean everyone who makes stupid decisions they later regret was a victim of abuse.
Let me tell you this-- /r/Drama is one of the most malevolent, cruel, coldhearted online communities you'll ever find, and even as a supporter of free speech it appalls me that Reddit would allow such a vile, festering hub of bigotry and sadism to exist. You think [slur]town was bad? That subreddit, if you pick up on the dog-whistles (and many don't even bother with that-- say want you want about Stormfront, at least it bans "n[slur]"), will reveal itself to you as Reddit's number one hub for the web's most hardened Nazis, Klansmen, Fascists, and Gamergaters.
Actually this post is just further proof that women, especially white women, are completely fucking retarded. She let some old Z list celebrity fuck her when she starfished, there's not much more to it than that.
Legit, I grab some stubbies from the bottle-o, a pie from the servo and then sit down and watch Neighbours on channel 10.
Then I go out and ooze misogyny and set back the womens rights movement by insisting they have such as much responsibility to not be a retarded as I do.
Autism. 2013 if you wore anything doctor who related you'd get lots of compliments and people trying to talk to you. It attracted a different kind of person
Doctor Who was once a fun, if silly British show that some mostly normal Ameriburger fans liked to watch. Now it seems to draw an absolutely strange fan base.
I read through it with interest, especially as the parent of a 10 year old girl. I saw the headline, and this kind of thing scares me for the future of my daughter. So I was in listening mode, for sure.
Holy fuck people have issues... Tell your daughter not to be a gold digger and to leave relationships that aren't healthy and maybe she'll be fine.
B-b-b-but it's not like they have a choice! See, when a woman enters an abusive relationship (which she doesn't realize at the time), she completely loses control over her own actions and decisions
typical thot with typical thot issues. "i dated men old enough to be my father, and turns out, middle aged men who date 20 years olds are abusive and creepy !!"
i mean this guy posted this comment on this same thread
she was a gold digging thot, who got treated badly by her sugar daddy, who she literally only dated because of his wealth and status. i find it hard to have sympathy tbh.
Also him trying to be funny/rude-funny, and he has a point. A crass one but still a point. I see why you would be bothered by it but I think honestly you’re taking it a little too seriously.
Look I’ve been in “abusive relationships” and it’s lost on me why I should be bothered by some crass humor/even not humor. Doesn’t necessarily represent a person’s full thinking on the matter, doesn’t making him a misogynist or somebody who thinks badly of women. Just this particular woman. And on that matter, I think this particular woman hasn’t earned much sympathy or the label of “abuse victim.”
This woman, the one who wrote the article, was not abused. She never alleges anything tantamount to abuse in the whole article. Immaturity, selfishness, disgustingly stupid behavior, sure. Not abuse. They’re different, and not subjective.
She’s claiming to be, though, and that’s gross. She is publicly airing dirty laundry years later about non-criminal intimate behavior of an easily identifiable man. I wouldn’t call her a gold digging thot, mostly because I don’t really know what thot means, but she wasn’t in an abusive relationship and she’s not immune from criticism as to why in the world she’s writing this article and what kind of person she is. Even criticism you find rude or disagree with.
I think some people have different scales on what "Abusive" is. To me, this is abusive, but can we at least agree on "toxic relationship"? I mean, just reading the things that this woman wrote makes me glad I know about them so that I don't follow Chris Hardwick. I think knowing this stuff about people we look up to is important, and I'd much rather this that have it be kept in the dark
Well that depends whether it’s just “abusive” as a descriptive word, or whether you mean “abusive” as in “he abused her.”
I don’t like using “abusive” to describe something that isn’t actual abuse, which has a definition under the law which her story doesn’t fit. “Shitty and awful,” yes, but not abusive. It’s like saying something that isn’t actual rape is “rape-y.” I hope I’m not assuming too much but it sounds to me like you and I would agree that using “rape-y” diminishes the act of rape, and by extension the victims of it. Or at least I’d be willing to put that out as a reason why I wouldn’t use rape-y to describe something.
I do agree that they had a toxic relationship. Definitely. But that’s something you tell your friends, not the whole world. They’re both kinda “famous,” and the fact that he’s a shitty, controlling boyfriend is not relevant to following his work. I am a little conflicted because he shouldn’t just “get away with it,” in a sense, but at the same time, he’s done nothing illegal or abusive under the law, and... I don’t know, it’s just really alarming to me to think that this article is justified and isn’t just a really nasty move by an ex. Even if she is justifiably angry and hurt, I don’t see how writing this and publishing it for the whole world isn’t a really, really awful thing to do to a person. She’s slandering him for no legally or professionally justifiable reason, since she’s not suing him for roadblocking her career or taking him to court for abuse.
I've been in long term relationships, more or less continuously, for the past dozen years.
And that's a dozen years of having my cock up a woman's ass while not giving half a turd about the behavioral standards of #metoo. I don't hit and I don't coerce. But if sex stops happening, our relationship isn't going to last very long.
In one case, I was with someone for three years. And we had a wonderfully tender and emotionally compatible relationship. But, sexually, we couldn't have been further apart. And she accommodated me to keep our relationship together. But she was obviously traumatized by my sexuality (most women I've dated are not - she was just extremely sensitive). So, over time, I initiated sex less and less, because I became too concerned by her emotional distress to want to continue. And then, after 6 months of a sexless relationship, we broke up. And I couldn't try to accommodate her, because I felt repulsed by the kind of sexual interactions she wanted and, frankly, couldn't get it up the few times that I tried to do it anyway.
The point of this is that a woman's preferences aren't the paramount concern of a relationship. Both people need to have their needs met. And just because a particular woman has stereotypical (though, from my experience, not that actually typical) sexual and emotional needs does not make her anymore virtuous, or anymore victimized when she isn't compatible with her partner.
This is the most accurate conjecture. More like she wanted slow missionary while holding hands, and I wanted ... something else.
I'm very emotionally disconnected from sex. I very much like to cuddle. But sex is depersonalized and dominance oriented. And there's nothing I can do to change that.
My sexual interests have been more or less consistent since I was 11 or 12.
Yeah. It was more complicated than that, really. It was the emotional dynamic. She simply could not decouple sexuality and emotional vulnerability. She was totally anorgasmic, and not just from sex - she couldn't masturbate to completion, either.
So her idea of sex was quite nonsexual, in a way. And for her as much as for me. I'm not sure why I experienced outright feelings of revulsion when attempting to accommodate her sexuality, but I did. But it wasn't revulsion at her. Not at all. She was a wonderful and special person, and I felt that way then as I do now. But something about sex ... and her ... and me ... just didn't work.
Cosby, Weinstein, and Spacey are all swarming with incidents that prove your view incorrect. Plenty of bullshit callouts have happened, but to generalize the movement by just the bullshit and not the valuable substance makes it seem like you’ve got some weird bias going on.
It's different when an old fat jewish dude gropes you and when someone states since day one what kind of relationship he wants and you just go with it.
lol Weinstein is the perfect example of buyers remorse
if you think those hot young Hollywood starlets slept with a fat gross old Jew for any reason than to advance their careers then you’re a serious misogynist
Yep. Someone saying the relationship will end if you don’t have sex doe not mean that the sex becomes coercive. Bad, unsatisfying sex borne begrudgingly out of a desire to maintain the relationship is not assault.
There are so many things worth criticizing about this relationship without trying to muddy the clearly-understood waters of consent.
He responded, “I just want to remind you, the reason my last relationship didn’t work out was because of the lack of sex.” It was a veiled threat. I succumbed.
Every night, I laid there for him, occasionally in tears. He called it “starfishing”. He thought the whole idea was funny. To be fair, I did go along with it out of fear of losing him. I’m still recovering from being sexually used (not in a super fun way) for three years.
This isn't sexual assault.
The first part isn't even really that inappropriate. He's allowed to have relationship standards, and even requirements. And you're allowed to leave. That's how it is for free people in a free society.
The second part sounds shitty. But having a shitty, insensitive partner isn't assault. It's just a bad relationship and you should leave if it makes you unhappy.
It’s not sexual assault in the least, but JFC that’s clear as day fucked up manipulation. She’s not off the hook for what sounds like being the ultimate doormat, but that doesn’t make his behavior acceptable, or even excusable. That is, she enabled it by not sticking to her guns on anything, but he’s the one that chose to behave the way he did.
but that doesn’t make his behavior acceptable, or even excusable.
So, on what planet, is being honest and open about what you need in a relationship not acceptable or excusable behavior?
Just because you find whatever his standards are to be offputting, doesn't really change the context that he was honest and not-manipulative. It's not manipulative to say, "I need X in a relationship". It's the fucking truth (no pun intended).
She had plenty of chances to get off the train to gape-town. It's not his fault that he she decided she was okay with compromising her own morals and standards to be with him.
I don’t know if “honest and open” is exactly how I’d characterize it, more like “being upfront about the fact that I’m a total dick,” but I agree with you overall. She’s a brat, he’s a dick.
Because context. If he was merely communicating, “Standards,” it would be discussing it like an adult (namely, at a better time like the next day), not immediately making a thinly-veiled threat of dumping to manipulate someone into compliance. You can be open and honest about what you want and still go about it in a manipulative way.
You can be open and honest (although I’m with /u/bluebelltexas on it being more aptly phrased as, “upfront”) about what you want and still go about it in a manipulative way
Literally nothing manipulative about this. You're literally defending the thought process of a woman who wrote that consensual sex she agreed to was sexual assault.
If you care half as much about this as you seem to think you do, you'd be outraged at her sharing her bad relationship story and equivocating it with women who have suffered actual abuse. She is literally making a joke out of them.
Well hang on, assuming how she described it was basically accurate, I’d still say that bringing up his previous relationship’s sex habits when she has said she’s sick and doesn’t want to is at least an attempt to manipulate her. If you don’t want to call it outright manipulative.
I think you’re right, the girl is awful and is trying to paint herself in a sympathetic light and claim to be an abuse victim when all she’s the victim of is having horribly low standards and a vanity complex, but at the same time, I wouldn’t say that he’s excusable either, for being selfish, rude, immature and disgusting. I think he’s manipulative or trying to be as well, but I can see why you would disagree.
If he was merely communicating, “Standards,” it would be discussing it like an adult (namely, at a better time like the next day), not immediately making a thinly-veiled threat of dumping to manipulate someone into compliance.
Sure. Him saying that should have been the cue to dump his ass, because that shit ain't acceptable.
Apparently it wasn't because she gave in and stayed. When he did that it was painfully clear it was time to get out....given that his initial rules to date him didn't make that blindingly obvious.
He wasn’t understanding like a good partner should be. He wants to have sex, his gf says she’s feeling sick and not up to it right now, and then he tells her he broke up with the last girl that didn’t have lots of sex with him. What an asshole
I agree he's an asshole. That's not the point though - she was the retard that chose to get into a relationship with the asshole who made his assholeness known from the start and then continued for some reason that she never fully explains other inferring she was hoping he'd suddenly stop being an asshole, despite him telling her straight up he was one.
Is there a word for that? I think retarded might fit the bill.
I think doormat with low self-esteem(which is strongly associated with anorexia) might fit the bill better. It still doesn’t excuse his behavior, which WAS the point of the comment I replied to
She said she was in tears sometimes during this "sex". I've been in a similar situation so I don't have the energy to talk about it fully. Just think about what it might actually feel like to be made to feel like you have to have sex with this person, how gross you would feel allowing someone to sleep with you when you don't want to. Manipulative relationships and coercive sex are complicated things.
I'm not replying to anyone after this comment, it just saddens me to see people over simplifying this.
I'm not oversimplifying. He was a prick. And if you want to describe the relationship as 'abusive', I'm fine with that. But it's not sexual assault.
Why? Because sexual assault is a term with grave legal and social significance. So we have to be careful about expanding its application, even if we might be sympathetic to one's claim of 'feeling' sexually assaulted. And if the term is used so subjectively, the risk is that it will be used as a smear - the audience will have an idea in mind that's very different than what happened, while the accuser hides behind claims of subjective experience.
I'm not trying to demonize her or minimize her feelings. But this isn't sexual assault, and she said that it was.
Tbh I think it does. He didn’t do anything criminal but holy shit what an asshole, who cares if he gets some internet abuse. He knew he was doing something wrong, Chloe said he was afraid she’d tell people about their, but he did it anyway
If you're capable of fucking your crying girlfriend who's just told you she's too sick to have sex, then you're an abusive piece of shit, consent or not.
Find a sexual assault case in America that was successfully prosecuted where the relevant facts were along the lines of "he threatened to break up with me if we didn't have sex more." Ever. I'll wait.
I spend the bulk of my time around 30 - 45 year olds and they're just a stupid as the the kids I went to high school with, only difference is it's a refined stupid and their more confident in their stupidity.
Her calling reluctantly having dispassionate sex with him “sexual assault” is hilarious
Him calling it “starfishing” is just gross
He didn’t do anything criminal so I don’t really get the point of putting all of this out there. But it’s the least surprising thing I’ve read all week. Hardwick has always obviously been a giant fake barely hiding an ugly controlling personality
Stacy wanted her sugar Nerd to propose, so she put up with his rules-based global order. He told her that he wants to have sex regularly, so she had sex with him regularly, even when she wasn't feeling horny.
This is rape and abuse, because women are simulatenously
retarded infants
porcelain dolls
the best choice for CEO of all successful companies
She was young and dumb. Good for her for getting out. Don't know the comedian but he sounds like the typical Hollywood asshole who will be insecure about his receding hairline and beer gut in a few years.
Uhhh, those red flags could not have beat you over the head any harder, sister.
I'm not excusing the abusive and controlling behavior of the other person at all, but at some point you have to develop some sort of self-awareness and personal responsibility. If you are this co-dependent, you are not even ready to be in a relationship and need to speak with a therapist.
People are not nice. Some of them are downright cruel. Jumping into a relationship with a man two decades your senior without have the emotional or mental maturity to do so is risky at best, and more often than not, this is the result.
I think it's easy for people to say on the outside. It's mainly down to self worth - if you have none you start to put up with a lot of bullshit - hense why if you ever feel not great about yourself you should avoid a relationship or you're just open to this shit.
Ever had a friend who dated an asshole but wouldn't see how much of an asshole they were? And stayed with them?
I've even said myself "i don't get how girls don't see the signs" until I got myself in a bad relationship and it's amazing how quickly you forgive really fucked up comments or actions.
I dated a guy for nearly 2 years who;
on my 20th birthday took me and all his mates on a piss up and ignored me all night and when I felt upset because I was ignored and wanted to leave he said it was because I was "getting old".
booked a table for valentines day, I arrived and waited 3 hours because he kept saying he was "on the way" until he said "ah actually let's just go another time. more of my mates turned up for beers". I was so embarrassed.
bought me a DVD I already owned (and he knew I owned it because we watched it like 2 months prior) for my Xmas & Birthday Combined which cost him like £4 even though he'd been heavily hinting at me to get him a £150+ watch for months - which I did. I didn't say anything because I didn't want to be rude to him. He earned like 3x my salary at the time but I was always paying for meals out because I didn't wanna be "that girl".
ditched me on new years even though he said he wanted to spend it with me (i wouldn't have minded if he just said but I cancelled plans because of his) then he came back at 3 or 4am, broke my stuff by drunkenly smashing into it and then said he wouldn't replace anything.
kept telling me i was ugly but pestered for sex all the time.
decided to visit his ex in Sweden for 2 weeks without telling me - not talking to me while he was gone so I had to find out from his mum when I dropped some of his clothes I washed and ironed for him. It was then when I realised how fucking stupid I was. i was so mad at myself.
came back to find out he was dumped then asked me if I still wanted to fuck because that's all it was to him anyway - after I told him no he then would turn up at my work to ask if i wanted to go out all the time.
this wasn't an abusive one above - just an asshole. But I still stayed with him for like 2 years. So it's easy to see how people get with worse.
I did date a guy who got incredibly angry and punched a wall and screamed at me and I left his place at 4am because i'm like "fuck that risk". But for some people leaving at 4am isn't an option for them so they put up with it.
He's asking why you put up with that shit. You obviously knew that he wasn't taking the relationship seriously. Why would you keep dating the asshole? Was the sex that good?
Because sometimes he was kind, loving and fun and when you have low esteem you kind of pull of that moments so much that you forget in general he's an asshole. The sex wasn't **that** great but it was good. But there were good moments. And when you don't think you're worth it yourself, you put up with it and grab at the happy times.
Typically you'll find that people put up with bullshit when other times feel happy. Even as they become further and further apart. It's never an "instant asshole" thing as well. It's very gradual - I mean no one dates someone who calls them ugly within a month, right? But after several months and the slight remark comes out, a weird behaviour, you put it down to work stress or other things. It happens again you get an apology - they blame something else and because you love them you believe it.
I think there's a misconception that most shitty situations are like that from the get go. They aren't and they grow slowly to get worse and worse and sometimes you've already committed a lot of time to a person so you don't just "give up". Especially if you live with them etc.
I am sorry for what you went through. You won't find much sympathy here on reddit, sadly. I do understand why you let it go on for so long. I think we need to teach people self respect and to never put up with this. Insecurity is a powerful thing that allowed you to continue grasping at the thin air that was your relationship with him.
You know better now. And the people commenting and saying hurtful things are also not worth your time. You don't need to justify anything to them or explain yourself.
> It was then when I realised how fucking stupid I was. i was so mad at myself.
Yeah. People also told me he was an asshole while I was dating him and I thought they were just mad cos I cancelled on them to hang out with him sometimes. You do fucking stupid shit when you're in love with someone.
A friend of mine has done the exact same thing. Cut off tons of his friends and family for some girl who pulled the "im pregnant" card when he eventually left her. She would slap him and talk to him like shit but she was hot AF so I think he put up with it because of that. He said she was nice sometimes but most of the time just an asshole to him.
That's what I was really getting at. You seemed to admit you were somewhat responsible for your chosen relationship where as the woman in the OP is diverting all responsibility elsewhere.
Other people here are whining that pointing out she was complicit in her own abuse is victim blaming or some shit.
I get that but I just worry about people who instantly go "why didn't she leave?" like it's super simple.
Yes there's the draw of fame and money etc (though lets be honest... she started dating a podcast host first and foremost) but these rules aren't probably stated out as written. They're back handed most likely, slowly revealed over time without explicitly stating.
I know my ex went batshit crazy when I mentioned meeting up with my online mates I play games with - purely because he was worried something would happen even though I've never cheated, have no sexual interest in any of them, and most of them have girlfriends. Which is ironic when he later cheated on me when meeting up with his online mates.
But yeah, her getting out earlier should have happened but I think it's not that simple or tons of women wouldn't stay in these insane relationships for a long time. There's usually long-term convincing, establishing those rules and ensuring people obey them. Which is why it happens to both me and women.
My issue is that most (non-intel) people, including most dudes, have gone through bad relationships like this. Learning to spot "red flags" and choose a partner that makes more positive than negative contributions to your life is part of learning how to navigate relationships. Lots of guys have stories like yours, but their stories don't get as much traction and any attempt to use the #metoo hashtag to put a spotlight on these abusive women will see backlash in the form of:
insistence that #metoo is for women only.
the argument that putting abusive women on blast is promoting the "crazy ex" stereotype.
hypothesizing that abusive behavior by women must be a reaction to abusive behavior from the man.
She said that he demanded that nights were for him early on. How anyone is willing to give up their friends for someone they just met is beyond me. The terrible lessons people have to learn.
It sounds like she was signing up to be a sugar baby or wifey. So essentially a domesticated caretaker. Aka a glorified slave. Lots of girls have submission complexes (many guys do too), but they don't seem to get that guys with domination complexes are at risk of being abusive. If you haven't created a safe word, it's not BDSM, it's abuse.
A safe word wouldn’t make this guy not a dick. Connecting it to BDSM is, uh, odd. And guys who like to be dominant are NOT “at risk of being abusive.” Also a weird thing to say and not relevant to the article above. He was very controlling, not dominant. They’re very different things. Didn’t sound to me like he had a dominant bone in his shitty body.
at some point you have to develop some sort of self-awareness and personal responsibility
This appears to be that point for her, as her article suggests.
It’s possible she genuinely thought she was mature enough for this relationship and instead had her ass handed to her. I think we need to remember that she is a human who’s imperfect, mentally ill, and made mistakes. Her decision-making here isn’t the pertinent issue, nor is it helpful to point out since her article is already bookended by her recognition of her actions and the role she played in her own misery. She’s learning. Now, hopefully, Chris Hardwick will have a self-reckoning and come to terms with his own actions as well.
I'm not picking a side here, but I have 1 serious question, How is it not a HUGE SERIOUS BLARING WARNING SIGN. 2 weeks into a relationship he tells you all these rules. That means you went along with those rules from 2 weeks in. 2 WEEKS. This tells me you were 100% ok with it, until after the fact. Not cool.
At some point you gotta get up the guts to decide whether your life is going to be about pleasing somebody who treats you like shit. As someone (a whaman, in fact) who has had to make that choice, I really wish somebody had been willing to give it to me straight at the time, instead of all the fancy bullshit about “it’s not your fault and staying is understandable and not something you should be blamed for.” Fuck yeah it is.
He is undoubtedly a selfish dick. But she sounds like a really shitty person as well.
She’s airing dirty laundry that doesn’t contain allegations of criminal conduct, about someone so easy to identify even if she doesn’t state his name, years after the fact and only when it’s culturally relevant because of that stupid metoo movement? Man, fuck this girl.
Right. She should have left. I think she would tell you the same thing in hindsight. We all make mistakes. She was young, weak and star struck.
What about her makes you hate her so much? I don't understand. Is it somehow not okay for her to talk about her past experience with this guy who is, as you put it, obviously a selfish dick. It's not like she's taking him to court, she's just saying: "This guy you think you know is an asshole who was bad to me."
I also think people are coming out now because the metoo movement have made them realize how they are not alone. This isn't some macro level conspiracy, it's an unearthing of something that has always been there.
She accused an innocent person of sexual assault? That would actually be illegal if it were credible, but because even she admits it was consensual it's just her being a shit person.
She also claims she stopped talking to her best friend because her boyfriend told her to. Generally seen as a dick move.
She's not taking him to court, there is no legal accusation. She's just saying "I had this really shitty experience with this person who people look up to, they probably shouldn't."
As for the part where she stopped talking to her best friend... It's a common thing for controlling partners to isolate their significant others from their support systems. I mean, yeah, I guess you could argue that was a dick move on her part but doesn't it pale in comparison to what a massive pile of shit he seems to be?
but Chris Hardwick was recovering from the abuse by his controlling stage-mother or something how can you sit there and act like he was an abuser when the things that messed him up were way worse than any of this for sure
Actually, unless she’s taking him to court for actual illegal behavior, then airing their dirty laundry is just vindictive, spiteful and stupid. There’s no excuse for what he did; but that doesn’t make it right for her to talk about how he was in private, sexually, with her, to the literal entire world. Two wrongs don’t make a right. They just make both him and her into shitty, shitty people.
I don’t know man, I just think it’s not a good thing to do. I think it’s dangerous that if somebody did something to you that you didn’t like, it’s acceptable to publish sexual, personal, intimate details about them. I get she was upset, but girl needs to grow up and accept responsibility for herself, not try and get revenge by turning the world against an ex she should’ve written off the literal day he told her his first ridiculous “rule.”
Interesting because I felt that way about the Aziz Ansari "scandal" but this feels more insidious than that.
There's a reason why people go into abusive relationships or people sign up into MLM cults. Are they weak? Stupid? Perhaps. But to me there's a clear demarcation between who is the victim and who is the perpetrator here.
I think people like her need to speak out so other people in similar relationships don't feel alone and locked into them. To me, what she's doing is not vindictive and/or spiteful, it's her telling other people that she made a mistake and hopes they will not make the same error.
I mean, if a person was raped in a relationship, didn't report it because she (or he) was afraid or wasn't sure it was rape, then, after the break up, decided to write a twitter post about it... Do you think that's out of line? Do you think this person should be silent? Because I think what she's doing is a version of that.
I didn’t read her that way at all - she includes so many details about the person that are beyond just their treatment of her that I think to me it’s clear she is trying to get back at this particular person, not let others into her thought process on being in a bad relationship and how not to feel alone. His age, relationship to her industry, specifics about situations that make him easily identifiable. She didn’t have to do that.
I know how people get into bad situations, and that it can happen to anybody. I’ve been in an abusive relationship and learned the hard way that it’s up to me to take care of myself and not continue to allow someone who treats me badly to do so. That’s something a lot of people learn - I think it’s necessary for everybody to learn it in some form, to grow up into a mature adult - from a lot of different situations, and it doesn’t require exacting very public revenge on somebody who was rotten to you.
I don’t think she was abused. She doesn’t allege anything that meets the definition of abuse under the law. She hasn’t filed charges or a suit against him. So no, I don’t think it’s justified for her to publish all this about him publicly because he didn’t abuse her and she’s not taking him to court. He was really rotten and shitty to her, but that’s not enough for me to public humiliation is warranted.
As for your example, no I don’t think you should publicly accuse someone without evidence of rape, on Twitter. I think it’s slanderous and not the right way to do things at all. I think if you think it was rape, whether you’re sure or not, go to the police and talk to a detective. They’ll tell you your options and whether you were raped or not, and probably direct you to further support resources, people you can share your story with and who can help you figure out what to do, how to get to a good emotional place, how to protect yourself.
If you want to speak publicly about being raped or abused (which, again, as I’ve said, what the article describes is NOT abuse), it’s very important not to accuse specific people with unproven allegations or without evidence. Because it can ruin their lives, it’s slanderous, and it can just as easily be made up as it can be true if we don’t require substantiation.
Alright, that's fair. I understand where you're coming from.
I think these kinds of stories are important in making sure other people who are in rotten relationships realize what they have is not normal and that's why the #metoo movement is important. To me, that supersedes the possible public humiliation caused by a situation like this. It could be unfair at times but it's (and, again, this is my opinion, I'm not saying this is an objectively quantifiable thing) minuscule compared to the harm it might stop in the long run.
And I'm sorry you were in an abusive relationship. I hope you're in a better place.
Sounds like a dumb gold digging THOT who wants a side of attention to go with her daddy issues. She couldve ended it at any time if it was this "hell" she now claims it to be.
All I got from this is that someone stayed in a shit relationship for too long because they were self professed weak and depressed. I'm missing what part deserves the accolades its getting. Plus, I'm sure this in no way biases events because who would do that.
She said he started this behavior within weeks of their relationship...... so why did she stay with him for a month let alone 3 years if he was so awful?
So two immature people got into a toxic relationship that should mot have started. One is a power freak, borderline abuser, the other one lacked the will and control in her life to leave him. Most people are not as ready to be in a relationship or are terrible judges of character. She should have left the moment the 'rules' appeared.
1) Lots of lulz-grade-irony in his holier-than-thou moralizing
2) Chloe Dykstra is an entirely talentless bint
3) Chris Hardwick is married to the heiress to the Hearst fortune. (a.k.a. insane fuck-you levels of wealth)
Well, he has been accused. When do we murder him? Isn't that how this goes? Unfortunate for him to be kind of famous. Otherwise she may have just chalked another one up under the "shitty boyfriend" header on her score sheet and went about her life. I guess I'll retreat into my cave and continue watching the world burn.
He verbally expressed his requirements for the relationship in the first 2 weeks (home every night, no drinking, no selfies, etc)
If a woman can't take responsibility and leave the relationship under these zero baggage conditions, then we're doomed as a species.
I hope Chloe gets the real help she needs. The jailer isn't Chris Hardwick. She was probably unhappy before Chris, with Chris, and now she's unhappy 3 years after Chris. Her mind is her own prison. Three years after destroying him, she's still going to be miserable. I hope she gets a therapist that challenges the dark thoughts of her mind and doesn't just confirmation bias her.
If she has proof then she should just release it and clear everything up. If you make claim such as this one, one that could ruin a persons career and life, you should back it up with proof. Until then how can any self respecting person pick one side or the other?
Chloe was a nobody when she started dated Hardwick - a cosplay model! Hardwick was into hanging out with her in bed and playing geeky roleplaying (I mean, look at Chloe's lips...), but she's an idiot and was not marriage material. She's bitter he proposed to Hearst months after Hardwick dumped Chloe and started dating Lydia. Hearst is old money and hot. Chloe is just a whiny, psychotic woman who acts like an idiot child. She agreed to the whole relationship and is haunted by what could have happened. What the fuck did Chloe even do before Hardwick? She claims blacklisted her, but I think she was just a crappy actress. She should have just kept dressing up like Lara Croft. This #metoo movement is ridiculous now. I believe about 20% of people now. Stop blaming others for your shitty career.
791 comments
1 SnapshillBot 2018-06-15
every time I get summoned here, I have a quick look around and find that this place gets worse and worse, it's like a black hole which mangles everything that gets sucked into it. src
Snapshots:
I am a bot. (Info / Contact)
1 wwyzzerdd 2018-06-15
I have no opinion on her #metoo article. Just wanted to mention she's been an attention whore for well over a decade now.
She's used to freely posted her nudes (pre-boob job) on the internet but now wants them removed because she's a legit actor! It wasn't beyond her to report her own pics as CP to LEO.
1 LifeIsVanilla 2018-06-15
I mean, CP is CP, even if the person in them reports it.
1 corprethar 2018-06-15
Oh for sure, but I get the impression from the wording that the pics were not actually illegal, just reported as such to get them taken down. She wouldn't be the first person trying to get things removed from the internet that way.
1 Awayfone 2018-06-15
She is almost 30. Are all the photos from a dozen years ago?
1 xenokilla 2018-06-15
i think one of her topless photos was posted on reddit somewhere and she commented on them like "5/10, would not bang" I wish i could find that comment.
1 shallowm 2018-06-15
/u/skydart Is this true?
1 lol_te_gusto 2018-06-15
she was doing everyone a favor. imagine finding that in your browser history. learn to say thanks
1 CocoNutsOn 2018-06-15
That’s such a sad read. Is she a feminist? Dunno. Victim of abuse if she’s telling the truth? Yes.
1 TheCodexx 2018-06-15
Sounds like a standard awful relationship. I don't know why people think relationships are pretty because most of them are pretty awful and follow along these lines.
Seems like most of the #MeToo stuff is just "I had a crappy boyfriend once and it's society's fault".
1 VidiotGamer 2018-06-15
I know it sounds retarded, but this is pretty much how things are these days.
One of the key tenants of modern feminism appears to be "women are to never be held responsible for the outcome of their own decisions."
If you think about it, we've spent most of modern history with women being treated this way, like mentally incompetent children, then for a hot minute our mothers wanted to be treated like adults, got it, and now their children and grand children are, quite literally, running back to daddy saying "Treat us like children, but don't say you're treating us like children. #metoo"
1 PowerOfJerkoffMagic 2018-06-15
Ehhhh, can you do me a solid and end your existence? Not in a mean way but please don't breath ever again.
1 VidiotGamer 2018-06-15
I'm going to chose not to, because I'm not a woman and can make my own choices in my own best interest without crying on the internet about being bullied by someone who cums in his socks.
1 PowerOfJerkoffMagic 2018-06-15
I'm not kidding, knock it off.
1 VidiotGamer 2018-06-15
That's going to be a hard pass, much like the reaction of ever woman whose ever looked at you.
1 PowerOfJerkoffMagic 2018-06-15
It was cute for like the first five years but now it's not funny. I'm asking politely for you to cut it out.
1 TheHeroReditDeserves 2018-06-15
/u/vidiotGamer you need to mind your personal safety immediately.
1 uniqueguy263 2018-06-15
Passive aggressiveness and "asking politely" are lame af.
1 PowerOfJerkoffMagic 2018-06-15
Not as lame as /u/Vidiotgamer become a devoted member of the gamergate coalition around age 40. And I'm not allowed to just say kill yourself because the mods would ban me.
1 WO_Schrodinger 2018-06-15
Stale, very stale. 2/10 IGN
1 uniqueguy263 2018-06-15
Never said mods weren't lame
1 RelaxedAxe 2018-06-15
Owning the feminists /#epicstyle
1 modsarethebest 2018-06-15
when's the last time you cleaned your room?
1 Matthew94 2018-06-15
breathe*
1 thats-why-i 2018-06-15
What
1 snallygaster 2018-06-15
He saw an opportunity to insert his pet gender issues into something completely unrelated and decided to take it, I guess.
1 I_DRINK_TO_FORGET 2018-06-15
This chick willingly dated a control freak because he was a C list celebrity. He wasnt keeping her locked up in a basement like /u/Onitan does with his 'girlfriends'. Christ...
1 RelaxedAxe 2018-06-15
The emotional and sexual abuse defender has logged on.
1 I_DRINK_TO_FORGET 2018-06-15
Whats to defend, she chose to be abused willingly.
1 RelaxedAxe 2018-06-15
The really telling thing is that this is all about her, how her getting abused is entirely her fault. It isn’t, you obviously have no clue what emotional abuse isn’t like. And it’s pretty telling you don’t give a shit about the actual abuser in this situation.
1 Lostx22 2018-06-15
Emotional abuse is for the weak aka White people
1 I_DRINK_TO_FORGET 2018-06-15
I have no empathy for dumbasses that's why you should play in traffic on the highway.
1 RelaxedAxe 2018-06-15
Okay which episode of MDE did you get this epic put-down from?
1 I_DRINK_TO_FORGET 2018-06-15
Fuck off drama foreigner.
1 RelaxedAxe 2018-06-15
Please don’t call me a retard in your next post I think that would be too much
1 DownWithDuplicity 2018-06-15
I know what emotional abuse is and since I'm not a fucking child I deal with it accordingly.
1 RelaxedAxe 2018-06-15
GO OFF KING! We should play fortnite together sometime dude, that or watch Sargon videos on live webcam.
1 imnotagayboy 2018-06-15
lmao how is emotional abuse even real like nigga put your fingers in your ears
1 [deleted] 2018-06-15
[removed]
1 dramasexual 2018-06-15
Do you just generally think abusive relationships aren't a thing? What she's describing is a very well-known and documented psychological phenomenon.
1 I_DRINK_TO_FORGET 2018-06-15
Do you think that her abuse is not her own fault? Are all women incapable of making decisions for themselves or just this one?
1 dramasexual 2018-06-15
Wew. Please don't murder any girlfriends who try to leave you fam.
1 I_DRINK_TO_FORGET 2018-06-15
Would she be making that decision herself or does she need to have some sort of affidavit signed first since she has a vagina?
1 dramasexual 2018-06-15
Please don't murder any women.
1 I_DRINK_TO_FORGET 2018-06-15
These are some real catty SRDine level responses. I expect at least sperging and an attempt to defend your retarded position, lame.
1 dramasexual 2018-06-15
tbh once someone says "WOW U RLY THINK HER ABUSE IS NOT HER FAULT" you just gotta realize you're talking to a budding serial killer and respond appropriately.
1 I_DRINK_TO_FORGET 2018-06-15
Ah so you are the type of person who knows they have no valid argument to substantiate their comments so they resort to the state of a pouty child. Thats okay then.
1 dramasexual 2018-06-15
You sound upset. Did you see a woman leave the house unescorted today or something?
1 I_DRINK_TO_FORGET 2018-06-15
You seem confused, I'm the one who thinks women are capable of make choices and having some kind of agency. lol
1 dramasexual 2018-06-15
P R O J E C T I O N
R
O
J
E
C
T
I
O
N
1 OniTan 2018-06-15
Can you please tell me your address? I have a package for you.
1 dramasexual 2018-06-15
I bet you do, Drama Dahmer.
1 becauseiliketoupvote 2018-06-15
Drink less, you might remember some common sense.
1 I_DRINK_TO_FORGET 2018-06-15
No.
1 red_suited 2018-06-15
I've wasted a lot of time on friends who were shitty because I thought if I cared about them then they'd care about me too. I guess I always figured the effort would be reciprocated. It's an incredibly common mindset especially when you're young and naively think you're capable of helping change people for, in your mind, the better.
1 LightUmbra 2018-06-15
He has a mouth and must REEEEEEEEEE
1 shallowm 2018-06-15
Shoehorning your agenda into barely relevant topics is probably one of the worst forms of agendaposting, but I have to give it to him for generating comment chains with over 300 child comments.
1 menvaren 2018-06-15
It did blow up a bit.
1 dramasexual 2018-06-15
"My ex boyfriend abu-" "I HATE WOMEN"
1 DownWithDuplicity 2018-06-15
It's not unrelated at all. She's the epitome of feminism and it heavily underlies her complaints and abdication of responsibility.
1 shallowm 2018-06-15
tl;dr: femoids were a mistake
1 thats-why-i 2018-06-15
40 mde rapefugees upvoted it i guess
1 sailorgangordie 2018-06-15
Women want to be treated like children, she loved this shit thats why she stayed with the emotionally abusive Chad for years.
1 CocoNutsOn 2018-06-15
You having a full on spaz attack. Pick an exit strategy soon eh. You sound like a complete bawbag.
1 VidiotGamer 2018-06-15
If only your father had figured that out before the condom broke.
1 CocoNutsOn 2018-06-15
He was Catholic and only done raw dog. 😂😂😂
1 VidiotGamer 2018-06-15
So he was an altar boy is what you're saying? Did he get a payout at least?
1 CocoNutsOn 2018-06-15
I don’t know but when choose your exit strategy..look him up and ask.
Must be rough for you though knowing your brain damage is due to a backstreet abortion gone wrong and the crochet hook is still embedded in your brain.
1 VidiotGamer 2018-06-15
It's a coat hanger you absolute mong. Do you even know what a crochet hook looks like? Imagine something small enough to wrap around your cock and you'll have a good idea.
1 CocoNutsOn 2018-06-15
😂😂. So your mum had to use a coat hanger... that explains everything. You must look like batty from Ferngully coz your definitely on ...the wrong channel.
And since I know how to crochet, I might even crochet a willy warmer for you as that’s the only thing you could get to wrap around your pecker without facing a rape charge.
1 whenweriiide 2018-06-15
Good bantz boys, now kiss and make up
1 CocoNutsOn 2018-06-15
“Boys”?
1 whenweriiide 2018-06-15
Yes
1 DoctorFahrenheit 2018-06-15
Oooooooooh
1 DerekSavageCoolCuck 2018-06-15
How many siblings you got?
1 CocoNutsOn 2018-06-15
Why you looking for a date?
1 DerekSavageCoolCuck 2018-06-15
I wasn't, but now you got my attention. Are they hot?
1 XhotwheelsloverX 2018-06-15
He did after that
1 VidiotGamer 2018-06-15
Hey now, he just went to the store to get some cigarettes.
20 years ago.
1 ChaddingTater 2018-06-15
Scotspeak is worthy of a death sentence around here, O U T
1 CocoNutsOn 2018-06-15
😡😡😡😡😡
1 SMDNOED 2018-06-15
Get the fuck out you scot piece of shit. Stick to talking like a retard in your twitter sub
1 kippot 2018-06-15
REEEEEEEEMALES
1 rcinmd 2018-06-15
Yup, that pretty much sums up your post.
1 DownWithDuplicity 2018-06-15
It's always the dead beat dad who is to blame, never the single mother with absolutely the most control over the situation.
1 Chanchumaetrius 2018-06-15
Tenets
Tenets
TENETS
TENETS
1 VidiotGamer 2018-06-15
Thanks.
1 GeauxHouston22 2018-06-15
you are an actual retard
1 Cest_la_guerre 2018-06-15
You're right you are a fucking moron if you believe what you just posted.
1 FloydIV 2018-06-15
No shit a gamer doesn't know shit about history nor feminism lmal
1 VidiotGamer 2018-06-15
Yeah, that's what you say, but I have it on good authority that the greatest feminist minds in the universe have said that video games are misogynistic rape and murder simulators, with the most offensive being Grand Theft Auto IV.
Well, I've been playing GTA4 now, non-stop, for about three years. I have over 3,000 hours of simulation time, which according to Anita Sarkeesian's expert testimony in front of the United Nations, probably makes me the worlds greatest rapist-cume-murderer
I guess what I'm saying is that you better watch your bussy pal.
1 FloydIV 2018-06-15
Hell yeah I love bussy
1 VidiotGamer 2018-06-15
Gamergate was legitimately the most fun I ever had on the internet, and that's a lot of internet too - we're talking decades, probably more internet than most of you've been alive.
Every day I regret that it's over and there's nothing left but some estradiol addled trannies and basement dwelling conservatives bickering at each other over f-list Twitter personalities.
Oh well, it was amazing while it lasted.
1 FloydIV 2018-06-15
Battlefield V drama fills that niche rn:)
1 becauseiliketoupvote 2018-06-15
This is particularly stupid. How you got that from this article is beyond me.
1 zonneschijne 2018-06-15
I wouldn't put the blame fully on modern feminism. It's not like men are the bastion of reason and taking personal responsibility for their actions to avoid making the mistakes of their predecessors generationally. Gen Y and Z are both really spoiled.
1 hoodatninja 2018-06-15
Wow. Looks like this subreddit is still trash. Thinks for remind me why I unsubscribed.
1 VidiotGamer 2018-06-15
translation, "This subreddit is gross and icky and makes my tummy hurt"
1 hoodatninja 2018-06-15
Translation: you’re a bunch of deranged individuals and I’m glad I don’t know you in person.
1 VidiotGamer 2018-06-15
tbf, it must be hard for you to meet anyone being a shut-in NEET living in your mums basement.
1 LaxSagacity 2018-06-15
I don't know why people are always so one sided in shitty relationships. Some people are just a bad match and it makes things worse for both of them being in a crappy unhealthy relationship. The bring out the worst sides in each other.
Yeah he's controlling, but maybe that's only because she went along with everything and if she hadn't he'd have acted differently. She'd be happier and it'd be less toxic. Or if she was able to say no, the relationship would have ended and saved the hurt and pain. People should just assume the other person is a monster unless that's really clear. No idea about the career ruining stuff.
1 VidiotGamer 2018-06-15
This is really sensible, and most people should act this way, no doubt.
The comments in this thread are all over the place because of a huge double standard we have in society. To put it bluntly - we generally shit on men who stay in obviously bad relationships, while overly sympathizing with women who do the same thing.
The subtle context here is that men are expected to have agency and be vocal about what they want, while women are expected to simply silently endure it.
You can see all over this thread people getting really bussy blasted at me for pointing this out and for expressing that I think the world would be a much better place if both men and women spoke their mind about how they feel instead of pretending they have a gun pointed at their head all the time. Unless of course they do, in which case they should find the cops.
1 DownWithDuplicity 2018-06-15
You are one of the few people who isn't entirely cucked in this thread. People lament the usage of cuck, but I think it's quite descriptive of the blind servitude and self-sacrifice most most men give for women - the thankless hordes.
1 HumongousGentleman 2018-06-15
Spoken like a true cuck
1 LaxSagacity 2018-06-15
There's all kinds of relationships. I tend to find a lot of "bad male behaviour" is based on only certain types of men. Usually the arrogant shitheads who get lots of woman and honestly don't care beyond their own ego. I don't think Hardwick is that sort of guy.
On the flip side, while it's all blamed on him. He's still dating someone dealing with mental health problems, anorexia and all sorts of issues. I'm sure that was not an easy relationship for him either. Oh but it's his fault and he's evil and 100% knew.
I was listening to something a while back about the problem with men. It was a man talking about the problem and woman sitting around saying how true he was about men and their problems. The type of man he described was a rich football player who is constantly getting laid from lots of woman throwing themselves at and he doesn't give a damn about any of them. 100% that is who he was describing, it was Terry Crews. The odd thing is everyone was agreeing how right he was. That in no way represents the normal man.
1 ChildishGenius 2018-06-15
Don't know why I bothered reading this thread because this is what I expected but if this a "standard" awful relationship for you, then you're pretty fucked up.
This is a controlling manitpulative person in power targeting someone to abuse, and then blacklist for leaving him. How are people saying this isn't MeToo? when he literally tried to destroy her career.
1 HumongousGentleman 2018-06-15
Well she used his fame to boost her carreer (not judging) and then he tried to undo that. It's Chris H acting how anyone expects Chris H to act.
1 ChildishGenius 2018-06-15
How did she use his fame to boost her career?
1 HumongousGentleman 2018-06-15
She's now moderately known in show business and was dating him while he already had connections.
1 becauseiliketoupvote 2018-06-15
So she wouldn't have gotten anywhere if not for her connection to a man? She wouldn't have gotten further if she hadn't been with him? Can you define your inherently misogynistic position without counter-factuals?
1 HumongousGentleman 2018-06-15
Yeah I'm sure he had no influence whatsoever on her level of fame in nerd web series circles. And show where I said she contributed nothing to her own rise in status, it's like you've never heard of nuance.
1 becauseiliketoupvote 2018-06-15
You're missing my point. You said she used him as a means to advance get career. To assume that is wrong.
1 HumongousGentleman 2018-06-15
You didn't make any point in your first comment. She was a literallywho and after dating him became slightly less of a nobody in the world of nerdosphere web series where he was already established. Yes it is absolutely reasonable to assume that's not a coincidence. If you're reading some kind of subtext beyond what I just said that, then that's your own confirmation bias.
1 becauseiliketoupvote 2018-06-15
🙄
1 HumongousGentleman 2018-06-15
😴
1 becauseiliketoupvote 2018-06-15
👍
1 Grim_SIeeper 2018-06-15
Quit taking allegations as fact. Where's the proof?
1 ChildishGenius 2018-06-15
Fuck off to the Donald you schizophrenic loser
1 Grim_SIeeper 2018-06-15
What does me having schizophrenia have to do with this?
1 rockidol 2018-06-15
How can you tell? Most of the people I saw just posted MeToo and didn't elaborate what happened to them (and no one would ask for fear it might be rape or something)
1 TheCodexx 2018-06-15
I'm just judging based on the people who wrote self-centered articles about how they're a good little girl who dindu nuffin and how their boyfriend said a mean thing about her once and it was so rude.
It diminishes people who've actually been assaulted while self-promoting people who probably were half the problem in the relationship. These sort of people get together and feed off each other's bile.
I'm just sick of seeing "he said a mean thing about me, and he did this, and he did that..." and most of it is just typical unhealthy relationship stuff. It's not "patriarchy". Nobody's entitled to a relationship that's perfect. If you have higher standards, dump them and move on. If you don't have higher standards, get higher standards. Don't cry about it for attention later.
1 DownWithDuplicity 2018-06-15
Like the time I called my ex-girlfriend a cunt. I must be a misogynist abuser. We were in a long distance relationship. I had asked her multiple times to get a day off, over a month in advance so we could go to the USC-Oregon game together(same year Reggie Bush won the Heisman). She worked at a Hawaiian fast food restaurant so it wasn't a big ask. Anyhow, she just didn't do it, which disappointed me, and so I ended up going to the game with my friends.
After the game and a few drinks I show up to her work to eat. She basically cold stares me and acts like she doesn't recognize me. Weird. I don't make an issue of it even though it was really off-putting and disrespectful, but whatever. I told her to call me when she got off of work so I could walk her home and spend time together. I headed to a close campus bar and waited with a few friends. After a couple of hours it got to the time she was supposed to get off and she called me to let me know that she was going to be about hour late because she fell behind. She explained why she was so cold to me when I came to the restaurant that some customer had just verbally abused her on the phone after an order and it had put her into a state of shock. It didn't compute to me why that would make her cold to me, but I forgave it and reminded her that I had been waiting for a couple of hours to walk her home and that I was dying to see her. Meanwhile, about another hour and a half pass and finally I decided to call her. She was at home. She had got a ride home with a male co-worker. I had waited for 3 1/2 hours to see her and to walk her home. We were long distance and I hadn't seen her for a couple of weeks. She explained that her co-worker had stayed past his working hours to keep her company because she was so upset and that she felt obligated when he offered her a ride home. I was literally less than a block away and she knew I was waiting to walk her home. So in a time of crisis(her words) she basically chose to take comfort in her co-worker over me.
It was pretty much a slap in the face and completely disrespectful to me. I walked by myself to her house and on continued the coldness. She was too upset to hang out. Mind you, I repeat, I hadn't seen her for a couple of weeks and had to leave the next day. So I ended up calling her a cunt that night and fucking left.
Of course, after the relationship ended, she told me that I was abusive.
tldr - Ex girlfriend was called a cunt because she acted like a cunt. Was labeled abuser.
1 ay_what_up2 2018-06-15
Lmfao what? What trash lives do you people live jesus christ
1 menvaren 2018-06-15
It's reddit, dude.
1 asdflkaiuwemn 2018-06-15
This sounds like a way-more-than-standard awful relationship. How many "standard awful relationships" end with one partner being blackballed from their career by successful conniving on the part of the ex?
She writes:
If what she wrote is true, she sounds kind of justified in seeking revenge. Even if you think she was an idiot for going along with the relationship in the first place! I agree that she's responsible for her behavior, but he's responsible for dragging their story into the public eye.
1 TheCodexx 2018-06-15
I know a number of people that have tried this. This guy was successful because he has some modicum of celebrity, but a lot of them just go for the "I wanted to let you know your employee is [a whore/does drugs/rapes people/whatever awful] thing and you should know about it" routine. And sometimes it works.
Sounds pretty standard to me, in the sense that one or both partner's anxieties create an unhealthy response. Most people in crappy relationships put up with way more than they should and will even defend a lot of the behavior.
Only non-standard thing I see here is that this guy has an audience of thousands (which isn't much, but it beats the handful or dozens that most people would have to complain to). Lots of crappy partners go whine and complain, even if they have to lie. It's not uncommon at all.
They just sound like two awful people who were bad for each other. I just specifically think it's funny how people present it as "oh wow I'm such a victim" when most of the time they're just as guilty and it was a bad combination. They make it seem like "he told all his friends I abuse/cheat/whatever" is some horrible crime. It's an awful thing to do, but it's super common in bad relationships.
1 thats-why-i 2018-06-15
Yeah, those rules are absolutely ridic.
1 Ultrashitposter 2018-06-15
Hey didn't there leak any nudes of her back when she was 18 or something?
1 Honk4Tits 2018-06-15
Okay a few things. She willingly stayed so she made her own bed. Sounds like a real asshole but she put up with to be with someone rich and famous. Not saying what he did was right.
1 LifeIsVanilla 2018-06-15
Willingly stayed, specifically cause it seems like the BS rules were literally set from the start. Not like he became a controlling fuckwad, he lead with that. Turns out controlling fuckwads are.. yknow.. controlling fuckwads.
1 TransexualWiener 2018-06-15
she was a gold digging thot, who got treated badly by her sugar daddy. i find it hard to have sympathy tbh.
1 CHAD_THUNDERCUCK 2018-06-15
now he is married to the granddaughter of william randolph hurst. monkeybranched pretty good tbh
1 lickedTators 2018-06-15
Why is there poop on her bed in that picture.
1 Ultrashitposter 2018-06-15
Cause he shit the bed
1 lickedTators 2018-06-15
I'll trust the expert shitter.
1 Ultrashitposter 2018-06-15
Wise choice
1 Infuser 2018-06-15
00:38 mark is metaphor for the posted article.
1 shallowm 2018-06-15
Damn, that other penguin should have fucked him up.
1 Ultrashitposter 2018-06-15
I think he's into that
1 TLEToyu 2018-06-15
looks like rolled up stockings.
1 lickedTators 2018-06-15
Live in denial if you want.
1 shallowm 2018-06-15
I think /u/lickedTators was referring to the things in the red circle on the right (and maybe the red circle on the left) and not the stuff in the black circle, but I could be wrong.
1 EichmannsCat 2018-06-15
asking the real questions.
1 Ed_ButteredToast 2018-06-15
Literally who?
1 XSCR 2018-06-15
When you were telling jokes I studied The Blade.
When you were starfishing I mastered The Blockchain.
While you wasted your days at cons in pursuit of vanity I cultivated Inner Strength.
And now that the world is being MeToo'd and the Femoids are at the gate you have the audacity to come to me for help?
1 hariolus 2018-06-15
my fucking sides
1 Pepperglue 2018-06-15
The blockchain and "Inner Strength" really gives a strong Chinese modern Wuxia vibe here.
1 VidiotGamer 2018-06-15
I picked a douchebag, then continued to stay by his side even though he was a douchebag, and now I want to complain about my bad decision making abilities. /#metoo
1 Thrownawayaccount69 2018-06-15
Don't forget that she admits she stayed with him to ride his fortune...
1 challe232 2018-06-15
No I don't think she did at all. She was listing what others may typically guess why she stayed, then at the end gave the real reason if you read it again
1 Thrownawayaccount69 2018-06-15
Yea I'm going to have to call bull shit on that. She had a wealthy family and a great support network.
1 IrNinjaBob 2018-06-15
Honestly that doesn’t stop people from alienating themselves over things like this.
1 1MExplodingSuns 2018-06-15
Especially if they're a huge bitch.
1 kwawi 2018-06-15
Well, yikes.
1 challe232 2018-06-15
She's not talking about money or wealth in that paragraph.
1 ghuy123 2018-06-15
So your evidence for her dating him for his fortune is that she is wealthy? Nice logic
1 Bick_Bickerson 2018-06-15
Snap
1 shallowm 2018-06-15
The femoid's thirst for money and attention is never quenched.
1 Galactic 2018-06-15
What? You totally just shit on your own argument. She had no need to "ride his fortune", she was born rich. Her dad is John Dykstra, one of the most successful special effects artists in the world, a multi-millionaire.
1 wiking85 2018-06-15
Doesn't mean it was her money or money she had access to. Clearly her father didn't raise her not to date giant assholes or tell her not to date Chris after this started...so I'm guessing he wasn't supporting her or really involved with her during her relationship with Chris.
1 Awayfone 2018-06-15
He created the lightsaber
1 OverlordQ 2018-06-15
So by that logic Robin Williams should still be here.
1 Naught 2018-06-15
Throwaway, huh?
1 mitzelplick 2018-06-15
Thats justifies treatment like she was put through? Justifies sex abuse? Doesnt matter what her reasoning was for being with him. Abuse is abuse.
1 shallowm 2018-06-15
Hahahahahahahaha How The Fuck Is Sex Abuse Real Hahahaha Nigga Just Walk Away From The Abuser Like Nigga Say No Haha
1 fiodorson 2018-06-15
Yep, we should concentrate at her decisions instead of his decisions, she is the problem here. #sheaskedfoit
1 VidiotGamer 2018-06-15
I don't think she asked to be treated like the dumb vapid trophy she evidently is.
I do think however that adults bear the responsibility of choosing who they associate with. If she was willing to compromise her morals or standards in order to be with Senior Douchecanoe, then that's on her.
Last time I checked, having a double X chromosome isn't enough by itself to make you mentally retarded, although I do admit that sometimes the harridans on Twitter put that theory to the test.
1 fiodorson 2018-06-15
I don't deny that she was dumbass. What I mean is people in comments always rush to blame abused and don't even bother to mention abuser.
1 snallygaster 2018-06-15
Adults find themselves in abusive relationships, romantic or otherwise, all the time. It happens to men and women. I'm sure if you're old enough you have at least one male friend who settled down with or married a crazy bitch or someone who spent at least a year under a boss with a "temper". A lot of the time the warning signs are there right away, but sometimes they're not or the other person isn't equipped to detect them for whatever reason. I wouldn't pass judgement and I don't understand why you're turning this into some sort of gender issue when both adult men and women enter relationships exactly like the one described in the blogpost.
1 VidiotGamer 2018-06-15
You haaaad to serious post at me. Oh, alright, fine then.
First off, I actually absolutely agree with you. I myself have made plenty of poor decisions about women that I've dated and I know I did.
The difference is, I'm not blaming those women for being who they are. The fault, as it is, lies solely with myself. I'm the one who compromised. I'm the one who decided to overlook things. I'm the one that decided that I could just ride things out until I somehow magically got happier with the situation.
What can I say, I was young and dumb at the time.
Point being - You don't see many men running around there writing 2000 word hit pieces about how shitty their partners were and acting like they're being victimized for their own poor decision making process. When you do, it's guys like Eron Gjonji and we all know how that turned out, don't we?
A lot of people seem to be of the opinion that women are babies and incapable of any sort of agency. Things just happen to them never because of what they choose. As both a husband and a father to a little girl, I happen to think that's a pretty low bar to set for half of the population. So yeah, I shit on it whenever I see it. It sure beats the trend of continuing to treat them like infants.
1 siskonaut 2018-06-15
Untrue af and you've been here long enough to know that.
1 modsarethebest 2018-06-15
everyone makes fun of those
1 LobotomistCircu 2018-06-15
Not me, I find them entertaining as fuck. I wish Zoepost equivalents would come out like once a week.
1 Fr33_Lax 2018-06-15
Maybe he means not reddit media?
1 Ihurtinside 2018-06-15
"Men"
1 falsehood 2018-06-15
lolwut
GamerGate comes to mind as a starter.
1 VidiotGamer 2018-06-15
Like, I literally used that example you fucking tard.
1 falsehood 2018-06-15
I'm sorry, didn't know his name, but it turned out horribly shitty for his target.
1 ason 2018-06-15
That's a funny example because everyone besides autistic gamers portrayed Eron as an evil misogynist for doing it.
1 SpooksGTFO 2018-06-15
Due to terrible western culture many girls have severe self esteem issues that lead them to catastrophic paths. Instead of victim blaming try to make sure your daughter is not one of them.
1 VidiotGamer 2018-06-15
Well geeze, I never thought of that before! Maybe if miss sparklepants here had more self worth than to try to hook up with a guy 20 years her senior who obviously treated her like a trophy bimbo, no one would be making fun of her stupid life choices.
If only her parents had taught her to have better self esteem this could have been avoided. And here my plan was to make sure my kids understand that they need to rely on themselves and be confident in doing whats best for them.
1 SpooksGTFO 2018-06-15
You can't just pick to NOT have a personality disorder. Your belief that 100% of humans have complete agency over their actions is incorrect.
1 VidiotGamer 2018-06-15
So that's all it takes huh? Self diagnosis of some sort of personality disorder and you're never responsible for your bad choices ever again?
I better write that one down too and hope my kids don't ever find tumblr or it'll be hell on me to take care of them for the rest of my life.
1 SpooksGTFO 2018-06-15
It also takes a type A abuser like this guy with a PUA manual.
1 VidiotGamer 2018-06-15
This is like blaming vodka for your moms alcoholism.
1 siskonaut 2018-06-15
>imblying those men don't stick to those awful women because they're shallow idiots who will compromise on anything as long as an attractive woman gives them succ
1 justinforjustice 2018-06-15
I don't remember him saying she deserves it, In fact noone here is saying explicitly that she deserved anything, we all deserve to be treated nice and fairly. Is that reality? No. Is there things we can do to improve our chances of being treated well. Yes. This happens to alot of people, I've personally witnessed things like this in my own home life and have alot of anger towards the men who do things like this. HOWEVER. You have to accept responsibility for your own decisions. I am just as mad at my own mom as I am her abuser. She stayed. She knew, and she stayed. I don't pretend to understand the inner machinations of her mind during this time period but I can say as an outsider that it was hurtful for her to stay while forcing her children to watch abuse unfold before their very eyes. Sometimes you have to grow up and take responsibility for your actions. She CHOSE OF HER OWN FREE WILL, to date a man 20+ years older than her. She CHOSE OF HER OWN FREE WILL to stay when things got bad. SHE CHOSE to not say no, whether that's out of fear or w/e. She made really bad choices in life, should we feel bad for her? Maybe. I certainly do. It's a slippery slope that leads to who knows what. More and more men I talk to are straight up afraid of dating women now. I don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing, but I do know that if a women set up rules for our relationship 2 weeks in, i'd bounce. I think we shouldn't reward lack of common sense with our attentions. I think she suffered and I do feel for that, but I also think she brought that suffering on herself due to lack of knowledge or something else entirely.
1 Sc0tty2hotty 2018-06-15
Nobody said she deserved abuse nor that Chris Hardwick is anything but a spindly little turd with delusions of grandeur. They're just saying that, at some point, adults have to take responsibility for their choices. If we're going to defer to psychology to explain why they stick around, at what point does any action become that individual's responsibility? Are they simply leaves in the wind, unable to go anywhere but where the wind blows them?
1 VidiotGamer 2018-06-15
That's a great point and pertinent to the metoo movement (QED, basically) we've decided to settle this strictly down gender lines.
Men are stupid and weak if they stay in bad relationships.
Women are virtuous and suffering if they stay in bad relationships.
I'm tossing out a huge generalization here, but you can see this happening in real time in this thread with how bussy blasted people are getting on calling out that this woman is responsible for her own choices in dating a middle aged geezer who straight up obviously wanted a trophy bimbo.
1 80BAIT08 2018-06-15
Serious posters OUT
1 pvijay187 2018-06-15
You think a guy dating someone crazy bitch can write a long diatribe years later and garner this much sympathy?
1 ArchHermit 2018-06-15
If only we had an example for comparison.
1 pvijay187 2018-06-15
One that wasn't supported by retards?
1 imnotagayboy 2018-06-15
It's called being a female, the oestrogen interferes with normal brain function
1 falsehood 2018-06-15
Agreed - she should have gotten out immediately. The thing is - she have suffered many consequences from not doing that already. Your opinion of her is not a meaningful consequence.
1 Awayfone 2018-06-15
What decision of his?
1 justinforjustice 2018-06-15
We should focus on both imo, If we're ever to fix this problem as a society we need to take a critical look at both sides of the story to analyze. In reality we shouldn't be looking at either side, this should remain private between her Support Network and His Lawyers and hers. Consuming this type of media is bad for all of us. and intentionally putting it out "to get it all out" is worse. If you want closure. Tell your therapist, she or he will help you get closure. You want to warn people? Why? Normal smart people know this. Tackle the underlying issues, lack of education. Delve into that full-time if you actually want to help. When I see articles and essays like this it doesn't make me think they want to help and they're as self-less as they'd like to seem.
1 EichmannsCat 2018-06-15
Morpheus.jpg:
What if I told you, that both people are responsible for their relationship and capable of making bad decisions?
1 fiodorson 2018-06-15
You know, except one was an inexperienced young woman without any self-esteem and other was a much older predatory guy. You autistic?
1 EichmannsCat 2018-06-15
She was 26 years old and he informed her on the first date that she was going to be treated like property.
Stop infantalizing a grown woman. A 16 year old would know that dude is a psycho.
1 IllustriousQuail 2018-06-15
What's with all these agendaposts? Did Evergreen State just let out for the summer?
1 rosenbergstein 2018-06-15
She had the choice to get away since day one
1 spookyguy109 2018-06-15
ooh ouchie this famous person was mean to me, I didn't the courage to stand up to him feel bad for meeeeee
1 Naught 2018-06-15
You have no idea how human psychology or abusive relationships work. You also sound like a misogynistic asshole.
1 VidiotGamer 2018-06-15
Thanks Doctor Reddit, PHD. Your job is done here. Now off to rescue the fair damsels in r/relationships from their cats and imaginary boyfriends.
1 Naught 2018-06-15
Oh, so you can keep /r/drama as a safe space where you can blame victims of abuse for their abuse? Let me guess, you're sexually frustrated and hate women because you can't get one.
1 TheHeroReditDeserves 2018-06-15
not on my /r/drama he is not. INCELS OUT OUT OUT 👉👉👉👉👉👉👉 /u/VidiotGamer
1 Jimbo_B_Beterson 2018-06-15
He doesn't hate women, he just took the red pill rectally.
1 mandelboxset 2018-06-15
Tomato, tomato.
1 Kelkymcdouble 2018-06-15
Bukkaki, bukakki
1 VidiotGamer 2018-06-15
More like being old, slowly turning into a Clint Eastwood yelling at a chair and sick of you kids on my god damn lawn.
1 lol_te_gusto 2018-06-15
right, the good ol' days
1 VidiotGamer 2018-06-15
Fuck no, those days were shit. Everything was twice as hard as it is now, but then again so were we.
1 lol_te_gusto 2018-06-15
I dropped this:
/s1 justinforjustice 2018-06-15
I think playing devils advocate doesn't automatically make him or anyone an INCEL, and I think that just assuming that anyone who disagrees with you is a scumbag is a very unhealthy way to learn/argue/grow as a person.
1 Naught 2018-06-15
Wow, you think belittling the metoo movement and literally blaming the victim of abuse is just playing devil's advocate?
1 justinforjustice 2018-06-15
I think the #metoo movement should be open to fair criticism, just like anything else. I do not think he was outright blaming the victim, at least it didn't come across that way to me. I think he's trying to tackle the over-arching issue and that didn't come across right.
1 Naught 2018-06-15
Your comment may appear reasonable, but no well-adjusted, rational person would read his bilious, insulting, victim-blaming comment and jump in to defend it as simple playing devil's advocate or "tackling the over-arching issue." There are situations where there aren't good people on both sides of an issue. This is one of them.
How exactly do you imagine he was "tackling the over-arching issue?" Was it when he literally said the victim of abuse was just "complaining" about a bad decision, when she detailed the abuse she suffered?
Nobody is implying that the metoo movement should be immune from criticism. What specific criticism was he leveling at the metoo movement that you believe was valid?
What, exactly, did you infer from his comment that motivated you to defend him?
1 whenweriiide 2018-06-15
This is not fun banter. Please just post to againsthatesubreddits and get it over with
1 Naught 2018-06-15
Oh no, you're not having fun! How terrible.
1 whenweriiide 2018-06-15
I am taking this comment at face value and deeply appreciate your concern
1 Naught 2018-06-15
I can't say I'm surprised you're unable to understand nuance.
1 VidiotGamer 2018-06-15
That wasn't nuanced, it was sarcasm.
Not surprised you're using words you don't understand.
(Note, that wasn't sarcasm)
1 Naught 2018-06-15
Oof, well you tried. Sarcasm is a nuance of the English language.
1 whenweriiide 2018-06-15
Huh?
1 Naught 2018-06-15
Exactly.
1 iNEEDheplreddit 2018-06-15
This is why i come to the comments.
For the real Drama.
/u/n
1 whenweriiide 2018-06-15
Xe has already gone for the quintuple down, thread is filled with earnest hand-wringing
1 Naught 2018-06-15
Yes, it is earnest. But I'm a he.
1 whenweriiide 2018-06-15
It's time for you to admit that you're actually enjoying yourself here. Join us, we are a very welcoming community.
1 iNEEDheplreddit 2018-06-15
The most welcoming community!
1 Naught 2018-06-15
I do enjoy debating, but I don't think I'd fit in. I sincerely find it offensive when victims of abuse are blamed for the abuse, like it was a simple matter of choice.
1 mattakasturty 2018-06-15
I'm sorry you are offended.
1 Naught 2018-06-15
We should all be offended by it.
1 gilmore606 2018-06-15
you sound like a cat lady
1 Naught 2018-06-15
And? If I was a woman or owned cats, why would that matter?
1 Ghdust 2018-06-15
The previous comment is saying that you fit the stereotype of a " crazy cat lady" and you certainly do.
1 Naught 2018-06-15
Are you able to detail how my comments fit the stereotype of a "crazy cat lady?" Seems like more simple-minded misogyny to me, but maybe you'll surprise me.
1 A_Big_Teletubby 2018-06-15
you are so boring
1 Naught 2018-06-15
True
1 Creiz 2018-06-15
It's the equivalent of an angry, sexually frustrated misogynistic virgin. Crazy cat ladies are a joke on the fact that since they couldn't get dick, they replace men with cats, making them essentially an angry, sexually frustrated misandrist. See? It can go both ways. Try not to jump at people's throats if you can't take backlash.
Or do. All it does is make the situation more scrumptious for people like me who are here for the sweet sweet drama lolz.
1 Naught 2018-06-15
Who can't take backlash? I'm still debating with all the rationalizing misogynists here.
Just to be clear then, you're suggesting that my comments have been misandristic?
1 Creiz 2018-06-15
Yes.
1 Naught 2018-06-15
Please detail exactly how, if you can.
1 Creiz 2018-06-15
You went straight to insulting to the virility of a man. Calling him a sexually frustrated misogynistic asshole. When anyone tries to reason with you, instead of offering sane counter arguments, you go straight into the defensive, accusing them of being misogynists, ignorants, or whatever anti man nomenclature the feminists are using now.
You sound exactly how the archetype of the feminazi movement sounds, in all her man-hating, woman elevating, self-victimization and thrash attitude glory.
But, then again, it's CURRENT_YEAR. You can be the crazy cat-lady if you want to. Don't let nobody tell you the contrary. Go, you!
1 Naught 2018-06-15
Christ, look at the bubble you live in. I believe I said he sounded like a sexually frustrated misogynistic asshole, because he did. The fact that you believe calling a man out on sexism is an attack on all men, says far more about you.
Look up the definition of ignorant. It has nothing to do with gender.
1 heavenlytoaster 2018-06-15
Just like if someone calls a particular woman a cunt or a whore right?
1 HumongousGentleman 2018-06-15
Because that's a huge red flag, like the red flags the woman in the article missed
1 Naught 2018-06-15
Yes, maybe she did miss red flags. That still doesn't mean the abuse is her fault.
1 HumongousGentleman 2018-06-15
I definitely don't think it is her fault at all. But if I were a raging alcoholic, unable to stop myself, I wouldn't blame the liquor store for taking my money. So yeah he was emotionally manipulative and took advantage of someone. But that's not rape though.
1 Naught 2018-06-15
I never said it was rape, just abuse.
1 HumongousGentleman 2018-06-15
Well shit I guess we're not so different after all. See we can disagree with a metoo-er's definition of sexual assault, AND still all agree Chris H is human garbage
1 justinforjustice 2018-06-15
I read alot of his comments on this post, so forgive me if this wasn't one of the ones where he was discussing how women in the past were treated like children etc. I just also want to point out that calling someone an incel for simply not agreeing with you doesn't seem very well-adjusted, and rational. Debate is good for you, it helps strengthen your argument to criticism and is healthy. I don't think he was victim blaming at all and I think you're projecting that onto him.
1 Naught 2018-06-15
If debate is good for you, why did you ignore virtually every question I asked and instead just repeat yourself?
1 justinforjustice 2018-06-15
You just seem angry, and I don't feel like angering you more, my hope is that we can reach a peaceful agreement that both sides are to blame.
1 Naught 2018-06-15
No man, the victim of abuse isn't to blame for the abuse, regardless of whatever mental gymnastics you perform.
1 justinforjustice 2018-06-15
Sorry but that type of attitude is detrimental to fixing the root cause of these issues. Whatever they may be. Noone is immune from blame NO MATTER WHAT mental gymnastics you manage to perform.
1 Naught 2018-06-15
Gross. If a complete stranger broke into your house and slit your throat, I'm sure you'd blame yourself. Oh wait, of course you wouldn't because this is all a fallacious rationalization.
Not that you'll actually bother to answer a direct question (I wonder why), but what is the root cause of "these issues" and how should they be "fixed?"
1 justinforjustice 2018-06-15
I don't know, If I had to guess I'd say lack of better education. We could attempt to target public schools with more funding? Uh maybe pay teachers better? This is a societal problem and the solution will come from discussing both points of view and sides. Also I don't see how the slitting throat thing comes into play at all.
1 Naught 2018-06-15
You sincerely don't understand how being abused or attacked aren't always a matter of personal responsibility? Maybe that's your problem.
Do you believe that people are always in control of or responsible for what happens to them? Maybe we should start there. Do you believe in accidents?
1 justinforjustice 2018-06-15
I'm not saying she deserved to be attacked, I feel terrible for her I do. Maybe you're not getting that? I'm simply stating that Your attitude towards any discourse is toxic, and frankly I'm done arguing with you.
1 Naught 2018-06-15
My attitude toward discourse is open, as evidenced by the fact that I repeatedly tried to have an actual discussion with you, but you primarily sidestepped every question, so you could stick to your narrative. I'm glad you reluctantly exhibited some empathy, but you've already made your actual stance on the matter clear, though you tried your best to hide it behind a transparent "both sides" false equivalency.
1 Ghdust 2018-06-15
I love the smell of fresh copypasta in the morning.
1 Naught 2018-06-15
Hey man, feel free to copy my comment as much as you want. Maybe you'll get some good answers from my questions.
1 Pepperglue 2018-06-15
PoundMeToo was about rape, now it has been trivialized into any kinds of slight against women, as u/VidiotGamer has demonstrated here.
Your first response to him was to flip your shit, but you're the one calling him not well-adjusted, and essentially an angry virgin? Look at snallygaster's comment below. That is a well-adjusted, fair-on-point comment, and nobody gives her shit for it.
1 VidiotGamer 2018-06-15
Point as well - I engaged with her seriously and politely too. I wonder how that happened, huh?
1 menvaren 2018-06-15
You're an AHS poster
1 Naught 2018-06-15
Oh, should I be pro-hate then?
1 MERCYLOVER163 2018-06-15
You sound like a male feminist 😂
1 VidiotGamer 2018-06-15
Uh oh... are we going to have to reset that counter to 0 again? It's still at... oh right, 0.
1 WhatsupDoc001 2018-06-15
OH no! He belittled the metoo movement? OH NO!
1 Naught 2018-06-15
Calm down.
1 WhatsupDoc001 2018-06-15
BUT OH GOD HE BELITTLED THE METOO MOVEMENT! OMG OMG OMG
1 Naught 2018-06-15
Just try your best to relax. This will pass.
1 WhatsupDoc001 2018-06-15
It's disgusting how these white. cis. scum. are allowed to criticize feminism without severe punishment or at least prosecution. That's all I have to say on the matter, I'm too upset to continue this discussion after that scumbag belittled the metoo movement. HE BELITTLED IT. THE METOO MOVEMENT.
1 Naught 2018-06-15
Why invent an enemy, when so many already exist in reality?
1 Nopepole 2018-06-15
Rule #2 on the internet:
Everyone/group I don't like are virgins.
1 modsarethebest 2018-06-15
this may surprise you, but it's possible to have sex on the regular, and still expect women to take responsibility for their decisions.
1 Naught 2018-06-15
What decision did the victim of abuse in this case not take responsibility for?
How specifically should she have taken responsibility for it, in your mind?
Are you aware that people don't always make rational decisions, especially when they are victims of abuse?
Do you know what Stockholm syndrome is? Do you believe it's real? If a female victim of abuse suffered from Stockholm syndrome, how would that fit with your implication that this is just a matter of personal responsibility?
What if the genders were reversed and it was a man in the exact same situation? Would you say the exact same thing, that he should just take responsibility and presumably not tell people about the abuse?
1 modsarethebest 2018-06-15
what abuse?
he didn't trick her, or manipulate her. he told her from the start what his conditions are for a relationship, and she agreed to his conditions of her own volition.
well, when I was with a woman who turned out super controlling, I ended that relationship.
Holy Melodrama.
1 Naught 2018-06-15
Victims of abuse often don't make rational decisions about relationships. This is common knowledge and obvious to anyone with empathy. It's easy to make flippant, belittling comments from outside of a relationship, with no understanding of what being in an abusive relationship is actually like. You've framed this like it's a simple matter of the victim not making a choice to end a relationship, but that just shows your complete ignorance on the matter.
1 modsarethebest 2018-06-15
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Circular_reasoning
do you consider women full adults, equal to men in agency and responsibility?
1 Naught 2018-06-15
Obviously, do you?
1 modsarethebest 2018-06-15
Like I said.
If Chloe was a the man in that relationship and Chris the woman, nobody would give a shit. They'd probably just make fun of him. Or consider Gjoni's case, where Zoe's buddies did a complete DARVO -- deny, attack, reverse victim and offender.
Why is that so? Because men are assumed to be full adults, who are responsible for their decisions.
1 Goatsac 2018-06-15
To be fair, Eron whicheverhipstername is human waste.
1 Naught 2018-06-15
Do you even realize that mocking someone for being in an abusive relationship, regardless of gender, is completely fucked up?
1 modsarethebest 2018-06-15
Were you also this outraged when Eron Gjoni exposed his ex as abusive, gaslighting psychopath?
1 Naught 2018-06-15
If people were mocking and blaming the victim for the abuse, I would have been.
1 modsarethebest 2018-06-15
they did.
1 Naught 2018-06-15
Okay? Then I didn't see it. I frankly don't even know who the people you mentioned are. I don't stay very current on celebrity news.
But yes, for me personally, I feel the same way about abused people of either gender. I'm not sure why that's so unusual.
1 rasungod0 2018-06-15
Fight fight fight!
1 d-amazo 2018-06-15
lol it couldn't be any more clear that you don't. lay down thy shield, o glorious white knight.
1 Naught 2018-06-15
Interesting line of reasoning.
1 snpaa 2018-06-15
How come you're not mad about about her emotionally abusing him by cheating him?
1 Naught 2018-06-15
If true, that's shitty and inconsiderate, but it's not abuse. If a man cheated on a woman, would you also call it abuse?
1 snpaa 2018-06-15
Correct me if Im wrong but did you not state that what chris hardwick did was emotional abuse?
1 Naught 2018-06-15
What does that have to do with cheating?
1 snpaa 2018-06-15
I just told you it's a form of emotional abuse.
1 Naught 2018-06-15
No it isn't. You are terrible at this.
1 snpaa 2018-06-15
Yes it is and terrible at what?
1 Naught 2018-06-15
Chris Hardwick emotionally abused his girlfriend (not by cheating). He claims she cheated. Your whole argument is a simple false equivalency, equating her possibly cheating with his actual abuse. It's facile and specious.
1 snpaa 2018-06-15
The text messages he kept prove that she cheated , you are the one if I recall correctly brought up emotional abuse unless Im mistaken (you haven't confirmed or denied this)cheating on your partner is a form of emotional abuse unless you believe that being cheated on does not effect a somebodies mental or emotional state. If so please give me an argument on why doesn't effect them negatively.
1 Naught 2018-06-15
Cheating can be a component of abuse, but it's not inherently abuse. Even so, are you actually suggesting that her cheating on him was equal to the abuse she detailed, or that she deserved it for cheating? I can't even tell what your point is.
You are terrible at forming coherent arguments.
1 snpaa 2018-06-15
You're coming up with alot of conjecture and being overly defensive from my original question of "why you're not mad about about her emotionally abusing him by cheating on him" , I do have an ulterior motive of asking you this question but it's not the conclusions you have came up with. The only argument I've made is that cheating is a form of emotional abuse and you have finally made a concession on my point so I think my argument is coherent enough if it made you admit that it hold's some truth to it. The only problem is that you are worrying about things that unrelated to that question. Try not to worry about unnecessary thoughts it will clear your mind and help see things clearly . Making rules in a relationship can equally be a component of abuse but's it's not inherently abusive either. I don't know if the whole black balling her in hollywood part is true or not , after the break up he could of refused to use his connections to help her get roles anymore which is understandable because he doesn't owe her anything at that point but he didn't inherently try to sabotage her career. If actually true then I would see it as malicious but I don't know if is because her ability to get roles were jumpstarted by her relation to him in the first place.
1 Naught 2018-06-15
You complain about conjecture and then write a wall of text that's almost all conjecture in service to a point you've conspicuously avoided stating. You also don't understand what "inherently" means if you are arguing that "he didn't inherently try to sabotage her career" by blackballing her.
You're twisting yourself into knots trying to make what she allegedly did abuse and what he allegedly did not so bad. It would be impressive, if it weren't such a transparently misogynistic waste of time.
"I do have an ulterior motive..." Did you honestly think that wasn't obvious?
"You have made a concession to my point..." No, I didn't. I said cheating can be a component of abuse, not that it's by itself abuse. Like a spoon can be used as a weapon, but isn't inherently.
Rules in relationships may not be inherently abuse, but his rules were. We're not talking about all possible rules. We're talking about the specific rules detailed.
"I don't know if the whole black balling part is true or not..." You don't know if any of it is true or not, so you can either take it all at true or none of it. Cherry-picking which parts you're going to believe makes your motivation even more transparent.
1 snpaa 2018-06-15
...I don't believed I complained about your conjecture ,I just pointed it out in case you were unaware but obviously that isn't the case nad you are cognizant of that and you purposefully choose to do that . "You're twisting yourself into knots trying to make what she allegedly did abuse and what he allegedly did not so bad."
I agreed with you that making rules in a relationship can be a form of abuse , and you agreed with me that cheating on someone can be a form of emotional abuse. The logical conclusion from our discourse is that they were both be equally abusive to each other.
"No, I didn't. I said cheating can be a component of abuse, not that it's by itself abuse." You agreed that it can be a component of abuse , that means it can be abuse ,therefore that's your concession. In this situation it was a form of abuse if it got a reaction out of chris if it got such a negative reaction that it made him break up with her.
"Rules in relationships may not be inherently abuse, but his rules were. We're not talking about all possible rules. We're talking about the specific rules detailed." For clarity sake which rules do you have problem with and what makes them abusive?
"You don't know if any of it is true or not, so you can either take it all as true or none of it. Cherry-picking which parts you're going to believe makes your motivation even more transparent"
As I said in the very sentence you quote I don't know if it's true or not , that means I am neutral to what I believe with reasonable skepticism but not dismissing the claim.
1 Naught 2018-06-15
"I don't believed I complained about your conjecture ,I just pointed it out in case you were unaware..."
Very believable.
"...and you agreed with me that cheating on someone can be a form of emotional abuse."
Again, I didn't. I thought the spoon analogy would help you understand. Guess not.
"The logical conclusion from our discourse is that they were both be equally abusive to each other."
You finally got to your point! It's just a shame it's very illogical. "Equally abusive" sure sounds like the false equivalency I mentioned several comments ago, based on too little information and motivated reasoning. It's almost like you're predictable and transparent.
"In this situation it was a form of abuse if it got a such a negative reaction out of chris that it made him break up with her."
No. A negative reaction is not proof of abuse. More conjecture and fallacious reasoning.
"As I said in the very sentence you quote I don't know if it's true or not..."
If that's where your comment ended, maybe I'd believe that, but the rest of your comment suggests otherwise.
1 snpaa 2018-06-15
"Again, I didn't." Im going to quote you "Cheating can be a component of abuse" you literally typed this. You can go back and read your post if you don't believe me.
"You finally got to your point! It's just a shame it's very illogical. "Equally abusive" sure sounds like the false equivalency I mentioned several comments ago, based on too little information and motivated reasoning. It's almost like you're predictable and transparent." This "point" was not an objective of mine ,I asked about you not being mad about her cheating , you became very defensive and ultimately agreed that it was a form of abuse. You are quite predictable as well, you tried to derail the topic with conjecture and avoid the initial counterpoints with more conjecture but I knew that when originally replied to you and I was fine with that. I don't see what predictability has to with anything , it'd be odd if either one of us was completely random wouldn't it? By any chance do you want to explain why it's illogical or do you plan on glossing over that in your next reply?
"No. A negative reaction is not proof of abuse. More conjecture and fallacious reasoning." So just so were clear you don't believe that chris being cheated on by his girlfriend caused him emotional and mental pain by his girlfriend who was cognizant of the fact they were a couple in a closed relationship? why?
"If that's where your comment ended, maybe I'd believe that, but the rest of your comment suggests otherwise."
Elaborate
1 Naught 2018-06-15
See, this is such a waste of my time. You are either unable or unwilling to understand or acknowledge how the phrases "component of" and "form of" differ. I've tried repeatedly to explain basic concepts to you, and none of it sinks in. I've humored your disingenuous requests for explanations, but you have no interest in actually understanding. You just want a platform for your pseudo-intellectual sophistry. Your act is unconvincing and tiring. Just tell yourself you've won this argument and that 'both sides' are equally at fault, so you can justify your thinly-veiled misogyny.
"You are quite predictable as well..."
I think that's enough for me. You've outsmarted me with your big, big brain.
1 snpaa 2018-06-15
I applaud you that was a skillful tactical retreat worthy of a five star general, the way you repeatedly tried to derail discussion with your conjecture of who you thought I was and what point I was trying to make.
I've won zilch because I have nothing invested on either side of the debate , I don't actually like hardwick as a person or his comedy and I don't know his ex girlfriend.Truth be told Im taking schadenfreude from his misfortune.
Unfortunately I never got to my objective , because of your brilliant derailment stratagem.
Cya for what it's worth it's been a somewhat stimulating conversation. Good luck with your classes.
1 Naught 2018-06-15
You may prefer to argue endlessly, without ever getting to your "objective" (hilarious), but a good general knows when a battle isn't worth fighting. This is one of those times. Until you can acknowledge or understand the definitions of words like "inherent," "component," and "form," any attempt to discuss more complex concepts will be rendered impossible.
Though your compliments and niceties are as disingenuous as ever, I will enjoy my classes. Teaching them, that is.
1 snpaa 2018-06-15
Im somewhat surprised genuinely thought your last reply would be your last reply, but judging how you type's always feel the need to get the last word I had a small hunch you might cave.
I tried to get to my objective through natural progression , but you kept throwing soft balls at me, changing the goal post , conjecture etc. each derailment argument you made from incomplete information about me provoked a reply from me .
If you're in college you should try to take a neutral standpoint in a debate let the opponent throw his ideas he's put out and not the idea's you "think" he's trying to make so you'll both have a better understanding of each other and easier time to dissect one's ideas.
So are you an English professor or something ? It would explain alot. I assumed you were in college but didn't think you'd be a certified teacher . Well good luck on grading those papers and giving F's to everyone with a different mind frame then you .
1 Naught 2018-06-15
You have a complete lack of self-awareness; you don't even realize how much you're projecting. And of course you have such a high opinion of your intellect. You're like the poster child for the Dunning-Krueger effect.
If you want to sound intelligent, start with learning to spell, punctuate, and use grammar correctly. You don't pluralize common nouns with an apostrophe, genius.
"I tried to get to my objective through natural progression..."
Haha, it must be someone else's fault that you couldn't make your own point, right? Damn, you're delusional.
Let's see if you can take your own advice and not be one of those "type's" that has to get the last word. No, you'll be just as predictable as ever and do exactly what you project onto others. You just can't help it. You're a just a simple automaton with delusions of grandeur.
1 snpaa 2018-06-15
"You have a complete lack of self-awareness; you don't even realize how much you're projecting. And of course you have such a high opinion of your intellect. You're like the poster child for the Dunning-Krueger effect."
I find it ironic that you're projecting your own personality on to me. was this intended if so bravo
"If you want to sound intelligent, start with learning to spell, punctuate, and use grammar correctly. Learn what words mean before using them. Here's one tip: you don't pluralize common nouns with an apostrophe, genius."
Thank's professor.
"Haha, it must be someone else's fault that you couldn't make your own point, right? Damn, you're delusional."
You absolutely refuse to have a normal conversation without projecting false beliefs onto the person you're conversing with and you love to throw out ad homeian attacks when you perceive your ego threatened , you're a little bit childish. For most of the debate I wasn't rude to you and tried create a platform where we could just express ideas towards one another , and you refused to participate in a proper manner
"Let's see if you can take your own advice and not be one of those "type's" that has to get the last word. No, you'll be just as predictable as ever and do exactly what you project onto others. You just can't help it. You're just a simple automaton with delusions of grandeur."
What are you talking about that wasn't advice, there's nothing in that opening sentence of mine that can be constructed as advice, I understand that you're filled with alot feminine energy right now(nothing wrong with that) but try to hone in on what every masculine energy you posses to comprehend the intention of the meaning of my sentences.
1 Naught 2018-06-15
"I understand that you're filled with alot feminine energy right now(nothing wrong with that) but try to hone in on what every masculine energy you posses to comprehend the meaning of my sentences."
I love it. The more you talk, the more you prove correct everything I've said about you. You probably can't even understand why what you wrote is so comical. The onus isn't on me to try to understand your attempts at English and debate. Go (back) to school and learn how to communicate effectively.
1 snpaa 2018-06-15
You didn't even attempt to point what's wrong with that sentence and you made another generic blanket statement like go back to school. I don't even know what you're trying to make other then trying to protect your ego , if that make's you feel better then , then do continue to do to keep your mood and sanity .
I could either learn wha'st wrong with that sentence or what you perceive incorrect about it if you actually participate in a normal conversation.
1 Naught 2018-06-15
Poor little guy doesn't like being told to go back to school, after telling me to enjoy my classes. But, you didn't mean that as an insult, right?? You think you're very clever by intimating things and then denying them when I point them out directly. Funny how you somehow can't realize your own hypocrisy and projection.
Every time I've tried to explain something to you, you've either been unable or unwilling to understand, as I've already told you. I'm sorry that your grasp of spelling, vocabulary, grammar, and punctuation are so bad, you can't recognize the many very obvious errors in your comments. Is your poor ability to communicate my problem? Should I hold your hand and walk you through every glaring mistake? No. I've tried.
Why don't you show someone with an education the last quote of yours I posted, and see what they say? Something tells me they just might notice some issues with your ability to convey information, haha.
As I've already tried to explain numerous times, I can't have an actual discussion with you because you've repeatedly demonstrated a lack of understanding of the words both you and I are using. If you've forgotten already, please look back to previous comments where I've futilely attempted to get you to understand basic definitional differences.
But, of course you'll ignore or misunderstand this comment too, so you can try "to protect your ego." You are so oblivious. I can't force you to understand concepts. That's up to you
1 snpaa 2018-06-15
I'm expecting no reply because of the length of time since we last talked but what are your thoughts about chris hardwick being the host of talking dead again, do you still believe chloe dykstra interpretation of events? for what reason do you think she refused to partake in the investigation amc was having if she allegedly had evidence ?
1 BarnoldWHV 2018-06-15
Why are you the authority on what is or is not emotionally abusive behavior?
1 ipreen4satan 2018-06-15
Right, they could have also been raised around unhealthy abusive relationships and as a result end up in unhealthy abusive relationships. It's hard to break the cycle. Anyone that has ever taken even a basic psychology course would understand why.
1 Ylajali_2002 2018-06-15
Yeah, this is literally psych101. I don't why all the neckbeards on this shithole sub have a hard time understand this. Women psychologically and morally deficient. You can not expect them to take responsibility for their own actions.
1 Why_We_Need_Islam 2018-06-15
1 PissFanatic 2018-06-15
I really like where you just completely blank this, after trying to pull "but what if the genders where reversed"...so you could cry about "empathy". It's so easy to make flippant belittling comments about what others face isn't it?
1 Naught 2018-06-15
I responded about eron gjoni in another comment. Firstly, I don't even know who this guy is that you're all obsessed with, but I would have said the exact same thing if I saw him being mocked for admitting his abuse. Men are actually mocked more than women about abuse. Abuse is abuse, regardless of gender.
1 PissFanatic 2018-06-15
Would you? He was rather publicly derided for coming out about his abusive relationship. He'll his abusive ex even gloated online and somehow has been held as a champion and victim in it all. And hey in spite of there being literal court documents where she used his own SELF-harm and depression to frame him as a danger to HER, she now uses corpses of dead men who commited suicide to pretend she cares about mental health in men and get's clapped for it of social media, like ignoring how much she's shat on depression in men in her life....you're all the same. And frankly I'd be shocked if you are so ignorant of the incident since most major news outlets covered it and has continue to cover her since.
And really that "would", should be a "do", since this kind of belittlement of male victims of sexual abuse, abusive relationships and rape, happens on a fucking daily basis, you didn't even need to ask the question what if, just so you could spout your platitudes and pretend offence and pretend like you actually give two shits about "both sides", the reality is there to see and your willful ignorance of it just says a lot more about you then anyone else.
You only think men are mocked less then women because you choose to be ignorant of reality and because of people like you who apparently totally care about us too, yet allow those narratives to be used against us and trivialise it when it is men and not women, less men come forward to begin with, but sure blame them for not coming forward because fall all your sensitivity and crying about victim blaming your heavy handed language is fucking bullshit. You and people like you will always be worse the shit heads on drama, you are trying to frame you basic ass, ignorance, toxic fuck hot-manure bad takes as "progressives" "caring" "activism" "feminism" or whatever, they don't, they don't push this shit out on the wider world. And shitheads at "AHS" who just want to control narratives, they don't give about "hate speech", most of them, mods included coming from spaces that use bigoted, homophobic sexist, hate speech "when the target is right" are all the fucking same. Fuck you and fuck your little performance. I'm over it.
1 Naught 2018-06-15
Do you really believe it's impossible that someone could be bothered by abuse of both women and men?
1 Grim_SIeeper 2018-06-15
Glad you can speak for a whole subset of people.
1 Naught 2018-06-15
Not me. Direct your complaints to the researchers and psychologists that made these determinations.
1 banhminobanhyou 2018-06-15
Gjoni wasn't abused. He was a big bitch that couldn't get over the fact that the one woman that paid attention to him was moving on. He even said in the zoepost they were on break when all the "abuse" happened.
1 banhminobanhyou 2018-06-15
Gjoni wasn't abused. He was a big bitch that couldn't get over the fact that the one woman who paid attention to him wasn't interested anymore. He even said they were on a break when all the "abuse" happened.
When there's a court order saying "get over your ex numbnuts" you're just victimizing yourself.
1 modsarethebest 2018-06-15
Still more abused than Chloe Dykstra.
1 banhminobanhyou 2018-06-15
good thing someone is scoring the abuse olympics
1 modsarethebest 2018-06-15
#me too thanks
1 AmishNinja 2018-06-15
Spoken like someone who doesn't understand how power dynamics in relationships work. Go back to your favorite incels site, buttercup.
1 modsarethebest 2018-06-15
feminists believe the following two things simultaneously, without noticing the contradiction:
women are helpless damsels, unable to make decisions, similar amount of agency as you would expect from a severely mentally disabled person.
women are equally productive employees as men, even more so as leaders. women should be CEO of all companies.
because the inability to take responsibility and make decisions is what makes a good CEO.
1 AmishNinja 2018-06-15
That is an incredibly reductive and inaccurate portrayal of what the majority of feminists actually believe. You've bought into far too much propaganda, my friend.
1 modsarethebest 2018-06-15
omg who falls for this PR bullshit anymore?
the left has already jumped the shark
everyone knows it, even you know it.
1 AmishNinja 2018-06-15
No idea what this has to do with what you said about feminism, but it's obvious you're not putting in the effort or at the very least engaging in motivated reasoning/bad faith, so... see ya.
1 modsarethebest 2018-06-15
byeeee! bye bye!
1 jbell0385 2018-06-15
Jesus Christ did you really just compare this situation to Stockholm syndrome? Situations where people are chained, physically trapped, and have their lives threatened? This is some next level exaggeration.
1 Naught 2018-06-15
To answer your question, no. I used Stockholm Syndrome to illustrate a concept that you and others in this thread struggle with: even if a relationship seems fine (with the limited info you have) and the victim of abuse isn't physically imprisoned or beaten, they can still be manipulated, abused, and trapped.
You are yet another sheltered, ignorant guy that thinks they know everything about abusive relationships without having any experience with them or studying then. The fact that he told her his requirements does not mean that he wasn't abusive or that she could just leave on a whim. You can develop serious, crippling mental issues from abusive relationships, even if you're never hit, imprisoned, or threatened.
But it's easier to just keep believing people stay in abusive relationships because they're stupid, right? Keep that worldview black and white.
1 jbell0385 2018-06-15
So just to confirm, you're saying she did not have stockholm syndrome? Correct?
1 Naught 2018-06-15
You're asking me to diagnose someone I know very little about? As far I know, she wasn't held hostage, but I'm not her doctor.
1 jbell0385 2018-06-15
That's the whole point. Why even bring up Stockholm syndrome then? It's completely irrelevant. It'd be like me bringing up Sherita Dixon-Cole. Has nothing to do with these two psychos in a relationship together.
Anyways man, nice talking and I hope you have a good Monday.
1 Naught 2018-06-15
I already explained how it's relevant. Read my comments again.
You too.
1 jbell0385 2018-06-15
And by the way... what are your qualifications? You keep replying to everyone saying "they don't know anything about abusive relationships". Are you a therapist?
1 Naught 2018-06-15
If I said I was, would that make my argument more convincing to you? Do your qualifications change how correct your comments in this thread have been?
You don't need a degree to do basic research to make sure you have any idea what you're talking about before opening your mouth.
1 GeauxHouston22 2018-06-15
I'm actually trying to help you here, so take this how you want:
nothing here is serious and the entire purpose of the subreddit is to rile people up and make them look silly. this is not a good place to get into it with people about anything serious or important
1 Naught 2018-06-15
If that's true, how can you tell these people aren't just sincere? These exact comments are commonplace amongst actual misogynists. You're saying /r/drama is populated with satirists and not shitty people?
1 YoMothaFlippin 2018-06-15
Its mostly populated by bussy-loving retards, but don't let that stop you from agendaposting in this beautiful subreddit
1 Naught 2018-06-15
I don't know what a "bussy" is, but what agenda do you imagine I'm pushing?
1 YoMothaFlippin 2018-06-15
That's it, you took this too far, MODS take this man away!
1 Naught 2018-06-15
Is it a real term, or did you misspell pussy?
1 Realkers 2018-06-15
No misspelling there my guy
bussy > pussy
1 imnotagayboy 2018-06-15
gussy*
1 ason 2018-06-15
Why are you misspelling gussy?
1 Naught 2018-06-15
I don't know!
1 reptilia987 2018-06-15
gtfo
1 Naught 2018-06-15
;)
1 VidiotGamer 2018-06-15
I reported him for being ignorant of bussy. Obviously needs to GTFO.
1 TransexualWiener 2018-06-15
SEIZE HIM !!!
1 Mary-Celeste 2018-06-15
That women deserve equal rights 🙄
1 YoMothaFlippin 2018-06-15
Did you just make a new account to reply to that comment?
What the fuck man
1 Naught 2018-06-15
Whatever you have to tell yourself.
1 Mary-Celeste 2018-06-15
Pls no kinkshaming 😓
1 Naught 2018-06-15
There is is.
1 imnotagayboy 2018-06-15
The moment someone says women deserve any rights is the moment I stop listening to whatever they have to say
1 Mary-Celeste 2018-06-15
Same tbqhwyf 😉
1 v_is_one_person 2018-06-15
1 Naught 2018-06-15
We've been found out, comrades! Quick, to the Putinmobile!
1 shallowm 2018-06-15
the anti-bussy agenda
1 EichmannsCat 2018-06-15
You haven't spent much time in the Irony half of the internet, have you?
1 Naught 2018-06-15
If you think these comments sound any different from those of actual misogynists, you must be pretty sheltered from the rest of the internet.
1 EichmannsCat 2018-06-15
All that I meant is the problem you identified (the grey area between ironically enjoying something and just straight up enjoying it) is a well known concept for people who have spent any time on the web.
...the solution is not to take everything so seriously and care-post autistically in a sub that's specifically designed to trigger autistic care-posters.
1 Naught 2018-06-15
Look, it doesn't matter if these people want to offend or not, they're saying shitty things and perpetuating hate. "Just trolling" isn't some magical defense.
1 EichmannsCat 2018-06-15
I know this is going to be hard for you so buckle up:
People are allowed to say things you don't like on the internet.
1 Naught 2018-06-15
Do you think you're making a point?
1 EichmannsCat 2018-06-15
Not one that you're getting, apparently.
I'm having a blast though. Please continue to be a part of this community.
1 Naught 2018-06-15
Or, not one you can express coherently. I'm glad you're having fun, but people usually say things like that when they aren't and want to pretend they're above an argument.
1 EichmannsCat 2018-06-15
HOW HAVE I NOT MADE IT CLEAR THAT NO ONE WILL TAKE YOU SERIOUSLY HERE
You are in a forum specifically made to make fun of people who care-post. The regular users regularly try to bait people into threads like these and make fun of them for caring.
I've told you all this, yet here you still are, posting earnestly like everyone here is just a poor misguided soul who needs a little compassion and understanding.
You are exactly the type of person this sub gleefully feeds off of.
1 Naught 2018-06-15
So? Even if this entire subreddit is just trolls or satirists, I don't see why you have a problem with me debating them. I don't actually believe everyone is just pretending though, and I don't think you do either. I think at least a portion of the people arguing with me actually believe what they're saying.
1 EichmannsCat 2018-06-15
I just told you that I love what your doing and want you to stay.
1 Naught 2018-06-15
Sure, sure.
1 EichmannsCat 2018-06-15
it's right here m8
1 Naught 2018-06-15
Yes, I know. I just didn't care.
1 alphetasauce 2018-06-15
He was being sincere. We actually enjoy this and want more of it. Please stick around and contribute to the mayhem.
1 shallowm 2018-06-15
What they're saying is only a half-truth. People here say they don't love seriousposting, but they sure do love engaging in it.
I've seen people unironically get into arguments by saying something stupid that they sincerely believe and then reverting to the "lol stop seriousposting fag" after they're shown to be retarded by another user.
1 Nerdsbane 2018-06-15
How have you not realized that /u/naught is trolling you? hes probably another drama alt.
1 EichmannsCat 2018-06-15
This crossed my mind a comment or two ago.
If so then I bow to the master.
1 butwomenarejustpeopl 2018-06-15
Why don't you go over to the man haters at troll x? They post hundreds of man hating comments daily.
1 Naught 2018-06-15
Why can't I be against misandry AND misogyny. This is such a stupid false dichotomy. You don't have to pick sides.
1 Robot879 2018-06-15
It's all irony until it isn't, just like 4chan.
1 Sardinops 2018-06-15
Whoa hold up, since when are misogynists considered horrible people?
1 Naught 2018-06-15
Oh, you
1 SlavHomero 2018-06-15
We are not satirist, we are just shitty people making fun of the facile.
1 GeauxHouston22 2018-06-15
it used to be like 90/10 re: people here just to goof off, and people who don't get, "it"
now it's like 60/40
either way, don't be a part of the # on the right. don't take this place seriously
1 Naught 2018-06-15
Alright
1 imnotagayboy 2018-06-15
faggot
1 Naught 2018-06-15
;)
1 PowerOfJerkoffMagic 2018-06-15
Yep, I caught them admitting that they use humor to disguise their plan
https://www.reddit.com/r/slatestarcodex/comments/8lhdsr/can_things_be_both_popular_and_silenced/dzfm5ul/
Lots of research also shows that sexist humor turns people misogynist. Though obviously there isn't even any humor in what /u/vidiotgamer says. He became a devoted gamergater in his 40s. Serious.
1 VidiotGamer 2018-06-15
Gamergate was legitimately the most fun I ever had on the internet, and that's a lot of internet too - we're talking decades, probably more internet than most of you've been alive.
Every day I regret that it's over and there's nothing left but some estradiol addled trannies and basement dwelling conservatives bickering at each other over f-list Twitter personalities.
Oh well, it was amazing while it lasted.
1 PowerOfJerkoffMagic 2018-06-15
Do you have no self-awareness? It was the embarrassing as shit when our Internet fights went public. I remember celebrities started talking about it and I just wanted to die even though I knew my side was 100% in the right.
1 VidiotGamer 2018-06-15
I only play Minecraft, Candycrush and Rapelay.
1 westofthetracks 2018-06-15
this is the most pathetic thing ive ever read
1 VidiotGamer 2018-06-15
Really? I'd have imagined that would have been your birth certificate.
I'm honoured.
1 westofthetracks 2018-06-15
what kind of weirdo reads his own birth certificate
1 VidiotGamer 2018-06-15
Well you see, the rest of us, actual adults who go out and do things like travel (get passports) or get fast food related jobs, occasionally have to look at official documents.
I guess, considering your lifestyle of eating tendies in your mums basement, it'll probably never come up for you.
1 westofthetracks 2018-06-15
lmfao you dont need to actually read a birth certificate to give it to some clerk, it's a birth certificate. do you really not know when and where you were born? that sort of brainrot would explain why you unironically care about gamergate i suppose
1 siskonaut 2018-06-15
wew lad
1 PowerOfJerkoffMagic 2018-06-15
Yeah.
http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/01461672002611006
http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0146167207310022
http://psycnet.apa.org/record/2013-41944-005
Is there a question?
1 WillTrigger4Upvotes 2018-06-15
Well, you're getting pretty riled up and our erections are pretty massive from it so...yea. Would it help if I called you a retarded faggot?
1 Naught 2018-06-15
Do you still trigger if you're downloaded?
1 WillTrigger4Upvotes 2018-06-15
Only 90% of the time, the other 10% of the time is spent sucking cocks.
1 imnotagayboy 2018-06-15
Do you still nigger if you're downvoted?
1 Maxwyfe 2018-06-15
This is our secret. We are never sincere.
1 Ihurtinside 2018-06-15
Both, really.
1 korri123 2018-06-15
If you're on reddit and call people you disagree with "shitty" then you're the embodiment of the stereotypical leddit soyboy and should definitely fuck off.
1 Naught 2018-06-15
I can't take anyone that uses soyboy unironically seriously.
1 imnotagayboy 2018-06-15
"Please lolcow, please stop letting us milk you! You're giving us too much content! I'm a massive faggot who should off myself!" - you
1 GeauxHouston22 2018-06-15
This lolcow isn't even funny though it's just sad
1 uniqueguy263 2018-06-15
Srsly?
1 Naught 2018-06-15
This actually made me laugh. Like wanting respect for women is just a cliche fad.
1 VidiotGamer 2018-06-15
Well, technically what you're asking is that we disrespect women by treating them like babies incapable of making even the most simplest of decisions in their own best interests if it involves getting sum dick.
1 Naught 2018-06-15
Nope. Victims of abuse can be male or female.
1 Ylajali_2002 2018-06-15
Men cannot be victims of abuse, sorry no. If you get abused by your wife you're a bitch, not a man.
1 imnotagayboy 2018-06-15
Apparently this comment is controversial. I'm guessing the people who downvoted you are either new age "feminism is about equality of the genders" wishy washy cunts, or actual mens rights losers. Probably white too.
1 imnotagayboy 2018-06-15
Mods please delete this for off topic, there is no abuse in the article and /u/Naught is derailing the thread.
1 duder2000 2018-06-15
Jesus Christ you're a prick.
1 uniqueguy263 2018-06-15
Wanting respect for women isn't. Wanting "respect" that's an excuse to show off how woke you are and doesn't respect shit is. People who actually respect women don't talk about how much they respect women, only losers tryna get laid do
1 Naught 2018-06-15
Oh my. Yes, I'm clearly trying to get laid by anonymously debating on the internet. You got me!
So, how exactly do you know when someone is actually a proponent of women's rights? Something tells me you use the virtue signaling argument a lot.
1 WillTrigger4Upvotes 2018-06-15
How often are you talking about women's rights in your day to day life? This is not an average conversation Joe Blow typically has because life isn't tumblr or a college campus.
Do you just walk up to people and instantly start showing your wokeness?
1 Naught 2018-06-15
You're trying too hard
1 WillTrigger4Upvotes 2018-06-15
You're not trying hard enough but that's to be expected from a retard whose entire identity is based upon lies.
1 Naught 2018-06-15
Nailed it.
1 WillTrigger4Upvotes 2018-06-15
I know.
1 shallowm 2018-06-15
Femoids don't deserve respect.
1 TransexualWiener 2018-06-15
respecting women is for faggots.
1 Naught 2018-06-15
Right??
1 ipreen4satan 2018-06-15
I'm pretty sure since summer break, all of the kiddo (most likely being raised by intolerant xenophobic spiteful parents) are coming out of the woodwork.
I'm pretty new to this sub cause I thought it would be LOLZ but it's been mostly hateful, second grade level bullying and insults. Found out yesterday that I must be fat because only fat ugly women "femsplain".
So the r/drama thread has become more of a safe space for those seeking out the drama they are used to during the school year.
1 wwyzzerdd 2018-06-15
You're looking for /r/subredditdrama. /r/drama is a cryptohate sub (well we were but I think that got revoked at some point). Either way if you want feel good happy slappy hero pup you're not gonna find it here.
You should also try reading the sidebar and familiarizing yourself with the culture before you get twisted. And as always wear your seatbelt.
1 ipreen4satan 2018-06-15
Oh shit I always forget about that fucking sidebar.
1 wwyzzerdd 2018-06-15
I hope your sophomore year is better than your freshman.
1 Awayfone 2018-06-15
Revoked? What do I have to do to prove I hate bitcoin
1 Awayfone 2018-06-15
Drama isn't a safe space though.
1 ipreen4satan 2018-06-15
Safe spaces don't exist on the internet.
1 Homer00025 2018-06-15
She is a Dr. Who fan. I'd say she deserves worse, but she would probably like that too.
1 buttcoinbuttcoin 2018-06-15
All are welcome here. No opinions are banned.
Doesn't mean you won't be called a retard for being a 90% soy.
1 Naught 2018-06-15
Does saying someone is a percentage soy mean anything to you? Is it supposed to be an insult?
1 buttcoinbuttcoin 2018-06-15
91% soy.
1 Naught 2018-06-15
Just bump me up to 100%. I'm sure it will make a difference.
1 buttcoinbuttcoin 2018-06-15
Nah, you gotta earn it.
1 Naught 2018-06-15
What if I told you that you were actually 95% soy? Would it bother you?
1 buttcoinbuttcoin 2018-06-15
If you get bothered by anything anyone says here, you're probably the lolcow.
1 Naught 2018-06-15
Oh... Kay? I guess I'm a lolcow then.
1 buttcoinbuttcoin 2018-06-15
Now you're getting it.
1 Naught 2018-06-15
I asked the subreddit was normally this toxic. I was surprised to be honest, but I guess I'm not reading it enough.
Look, you can give me any percentage of soy you want, I don't understand why you think it matters. I do think it would bother you if I called you a fragile soyboy cuck snowflake though. It's a good thing I don't need to throw around meaningless insults to have a conversation.
1 buttcoinbuttcoin 2018-06-15
95%
1 Naught 2018-06-15
Oh no!
1 imnotagayboy 2018-06-15
You actually posted about us in AHS? Wait did you delete the thread out of embarassment lmfao
By the way, being 90% soy is an insult because eating nothing but soy means less protein, therefore weak and pathetic. Also apparently makes you produce oestrogen or some shit. Basically calling you a woman, one of the worst insults there is.
1 Naught 2018-06-15
I did?
I should eat more soy then and turn into a beautiful lady.
1 myshl0ng 2018-06-15
99% of the times it's the victim's fault.
1 shallowm 2018-06-15
a
1 Naught 2018-06-15
I disagree with your psychoanalysis, but hey, you're the shrink.
1 error404brain 2018-06-15
Oh, absolutely not. I want to blame victim of abuse for their abuse and get screamed at.
1 Naught 2018-06-15
Okay, you made me laugh.
1 dramasexual 2018-06-15
Every terrible thing that can be said has been said here at some point tbh.
We do have a subset of users who seem to unironically really hate women.
1 imnotagayboy 2018-06-15
I hate women because of the retarded shit, as evidenced in the article you're trying to imply is something other than a woman acting like a complete retard. The fact you're defending this especially retarded female specimen leads me to believe you're either a female, or a man who suffers from some kind of brain damage.
1 v_is_one_person 2018-06-15
You have some fans, Vidiot.
1 VidiotGamer 2018-06-15
Just doing my part to keep this community healthy.
1 wwyzzerdd 2018-06-15
Whoever reported for "too much bickering" needs to put on two seatbelts.
1 VidiotGamer 2018-06-15
BUCKLE UP BUCKAROO
1 SMDNOED 2018-06-15
Treating women like adults with agency = misogyny? Lmao
1 Naught 2018-06-15
Oh good, another one. So, in your comprehensive understanding of human psychology, victims of abusive relationships make a conscious, clear-headed decision to stay with abusers? Because that's what you're intimating. No, the issue here obviously isn't whether or not women have agency.
You're ignorant or justifying misogyny.
1 modsarethebest 2018-06-15
everyone wants to be the biggest victim
1 Naught 2018-06-15
Does that include you?
1 modsarethebest 2018-06-15
Of course. I got a good summer tan and colored my hair blue, wrote "black" and "gender queer" in my college applications. That's the only reason I got into Yale.
1 Naught 2018-06-15
Oh, of course you're a bigot too.
1 modsarethebest 2018-06-15
i'm a queer person of color, I can't be bigoted.
1 Naught 2018-06-15
You're just a bad liar.
1 modsarethebest 2018-06-15
good enough for an ivy league degree
1 Awayfone 2018-06-15
Dont erase their identity.
1 imnotagayboy 2018-06-15
Are you seriously erasing this queer person of colours identity? You're probably a fucking transphobe too, seeing how little you care about how people identify. Please educate yourself.
1 Sardinops 2018-06-15
We are truly blessed to have you seriousposting here. Please ignore the downvotes and continue ramping up the autism.
1 Sardinops 2018-06-15
We are truly blessed to have you seriousposting here. Please ignore the downvotes and continue ramping up the autism.
1 Naught 2018-06-15
Hey, you again! You must be a fan.
1 Awayfone 2018-06-15
What was bigoted about that sentence?
1 ipreen4satan 2018-06-15
What's your major/minor at Yale?
1 modsarethebest 2018-06-15
privacy / business (none of your)
1 ipreen4satan 2018-06-15
It was a trick question any way because Yale doesn't offer minors.
1 modsarethebest 2018-06-15
yup
1 Butch_Patterson 2018-06-15
I just love how you've decided that treating women like children who have no agency or responsibility of their own is the best way to go gender relations in CURRENT YEAR
1 Naught 2018-06-15
Another ignoramus that doesn't understand the psychology of abuse. This has nothing to do with gender to anyone but misogynists.
1 Butch_Patterson 2018-06-15
Misogynists like you, who think that women are on the same level mentally and emotionally as small children?
Or are you more of a misandrist who thinks that anything bad that happens to a woman must be the fault of a man somehow, and that said woman couldn't have possibly done anything to prevent it from happening?
1 Naught 2018-06-15
Neither.
1 BertyLohan 2018-06-15
Yeah dude the papers you've written on Psychology are so interesting.
wait nah you're another armchair reddit psychologyst having a whine.
1 Robot879 2018-06-15
If you take 5 seconds to google it you'll see they're right.
1 Naught 2018-06-15
I might be a whining armchair psychologist, but at least I'm not wrong.
1 BertyLohan 2018-06-15
The radical thing is, not being a real psychologist, you have no fucking clue whether you’re right or not. You don’t understand what subjective means. Stop being so self righteous.
1 Naught 2018-06-15
If I'm right about what, that victims of abuse don't always make rational decisions about relationships, and therefore shouldn't be blamed for it? You don't even need to ask a psychologist. You can just ask anyone who's ever dealt with a loved one in an abusive relationship. Or just read about the psychology of abuse.
And stop being so self-righteous. You have no fucking clue whether you're right or not.
1 BertyLohan 2018-06-15
woah that really sounds like the scientific method dude, 'just ask anyone who's dealt with it'. Because being part of something makes you an expert in the psychology behind it, surely? Because asking single people for anecdotal evidence is proof? You have, I can guarantee, not read shita ll on the psychology of abuse you're just spouting nonsense.
And don't just quote me back to me, I'm not being self-righteous at all. I'm literally just calling you out on your bullshit. Don't go pretending to know things with 0 backup it's sad and just spreads misinformation.
1 Naught 2018-06-15
Nobody who cared about misinformation and non-anecdotal evidence would still be this ignorant when they could just take a minute to read up on something.
Good effort overall, but you showed your hand.
1 BertyLohan 2018-06-15
You've literally admitted you're an armchair psychologist with no real knowledge of the subject. Go get a fucking degree in it and actually study.
1 Naught 2018-06-15
How do you know I'm wrong, exactly?
I'm asking rhetorically. You aren't even self-aware enough to apply anything you're saying to yourself. You're so bad at this. Your whole approach is uninformed, impotent rage and lazy trolling.
1 BertyLohan 2018-06-15
Imagine being so unintelligent you didn't realise I didn't once call you wrong.
Imagine being so stupid you couldn't even fathom that the only thing I've said is not to stand by pretending you know the subject when you don't and spouting nonsense pretending to know psychology.
God what a sad life you lead. Peace out you've wasted enough of my time you dum dum.
1 Naught 2018-06-15
Haha, you actually looked it up, didn't you? I bet you wanted to prove me wrong, so you finally did some reading and saw I was right. You could have saved yourself a lot of time and a little dignity, but I guess better late than never.
1 BertyLohan 2018-06-15
okay so this is obviously a bait response but i'll bite bc at the moment you think you've somehow won but you literally don't even understand the discussion we've had.
how are you continuing to read my comments and actually think my issue was with whatever you were saying? literally read back throughout. I made it perfectly clear in my last comment that idgaf about abuse-related relationships, my issue is with you being self-righteous when you don't know sweet fuck all about psychology and probably have never read a book in your life. If you still can't understand that after this then I'm just gonna feel bad for ripping so hard on someone who has the reading comprehension that would make a 4 year old feel inadequate.
1 Naught 2018-06-15
Sure, sure. Please stop "ripping so hard" on me, haha. I've never read a book, the ultimate insult!
1 BertyLohan 2018-06-15
k dude, you are fully a lost cause, if there's one thing I hope you take away from this it's to try research shit before you go getting cunty on reddit.
if not for the fact that you got downvoted to shit, for the fact that you make your viewpoint look stupid by being as stupid and uneducated as you are, which is bad for victims everywhere.
1 Naught 2018-06-15
But how do you know my viewpoint is stupid if you didn't do any research? Interesting pickle you've gotten yourself into. Are you claiming I'm wrong or not?
1 BertyLohan 2018-06-15
Okay, jesus fucking christ you are dense.
I never once said that your viewpoint was stupid. I don't know how obvious I can type that out. You, as a person, are about as stupid as I can imagine someone being, if only for the fact that you can't seem to understand the fact that I never said anything about victim-abuser relationships or that your viewpoint was wrong.
I said you need to back your shit up by reading or you look like an idiot. You can't just make baseless claims because 'well u dont even need to know psychology u can just tell'. That is what an idiot says.
Typing it out one more time in case you still are unsure and need more rereading.
I don't know about victim-abuser relationships and never said you were wrong on that front.
I do know that you shouldn't go claim shit as an armchair psychologist because it's spreading misinformation. You should know you're right and be able to back it up before you get cunty on reddit.
1 Naught 2018-06-15
If you're not saying I'm wrong, how do you know it's "misinformation?"
Me calling myself an armchair psychologist doesn't mean I'm wrong. That's not what the qualifier "armchair" means. Is that what's causing your logical disconnect? I'm trying to help you here. You've gotten your ego all tied up in this and have blustered yourself into a corner.
1 BertyLohan 2018-06-15
Okay for real last one now because you get the issue you just don’t have the brainpower to fathom why you’re being stupid.
Don’t spread things that you don’t know are true.
1 Naught 2018-06-15
Victims of abuse aren't always in full rational control of decision-making. You would know this for a fact too, if you would just do some of the research you're demanding I do.
You thought you'd win an argument because you were emboldened by my downvotes, but when I actually engage you in debate, you have literally nothing of substance to say. You act like you care about spreading misinformation, and keep calling me childish names, because that's literally the only things you can think to do.
But I'm sure, that was your last comment. No way will your fragile ego make you respond just. One. More. Time.
Right, /u/bertylohan?
1 rokety_roket 2018-06-15
Hey buddy, CURRENT YEAR is a year of great change. We have to join together against BROAD DISPARAGED GROUP to stomp out VAGUE SOCIETAL ILL because it's CURRENT YEAR and it's time.
1 Butch_Patterson 2018-06-15
CURRENT YEAR is the BEST YEAR for CHANGE. We'll have the BIGGEST CHANGES, changes you won't see anywhere Else!!! #CHANGE
1 VidiotGamer 2018-06-15
It's amazing to me that you can spout garbage like that so self righteously.
Literally, no where in our society, is what you are espousing an excuse for someone not being culpable for having free will.
If you drink a bottle of vodka and get behind a wheel of the car, you're under far more of a diminished capacity yet you're still responsible for running over that family of four.
If you smoke a pack of cigarettes a day, an actual chemically addictive substance, no one is particularly surprised when you develop lung cancer.
If you stuff your mouth full of cake until you develop type 2 diabetes, we don't all shrug our shoulders and go "I wonder what happened?" when the doctors have to amputate your legs.
I get that you're a very well intentioned individual, but your desire to protect people (in this particular case, women) from the consequences of their own poor life choices is ultimately doing more harm than good. In fact, you're perpetuating the very cycle that is responsible for outcomes like this in the first place.
Ironically, you're actually a champion for rigidly enforced gender norms. That's probably going to fly right over your head, but I'm not going to be too surprised by that as I've never met a feminist who didn't 'damsel' women when it was convenient for them to do so.
1 Wordshark 2018-06-15
Got damn. 10/10
1 Adwinistrator 2018-06-15
Stop, stop! He's already dead!"
1 d-amazo 2018-06-15
BAH GAWD THAT MAN HAD A FAMILY, HE'S BROKEN HIM IN HAFFF
1 zergling_Lester 2018-06-15
You made an informed decision to drink that bottle of vodka.
Same, to start smoking.
Irrelevant because doesn't involve impaired judgment?
I don't see how raising awareness of how abuse fucks with your head is going to make things worse. Do you expect women (or men for that matter) to be, like, "nice to know that less people will blame me for staying with the abusive asshole, now I can just as well enjoy my stay"?
I mean, even ignoring the fact that induced feeling of worthlessness is the primary motivation for staying so further shaming would only make things worse. Just ignoring that part, that shit you said there is still impressively retarded!
1 VidiotGamer 2018-06-15
She made an informed decision to start a relationship with someone who upfront told her his expectations.
She made an informed decision to start a relationship with someone who upfront told her his expectations.
Found the fatty.
I don't see how the complete abrogation of any sort of personal responsibility is going to empower people to carefully make positive decisions that benefit them.
This is not some sort of helpless damsel we're talking about, if such a thing even exists. This is a well educated white woman from an extremely affluent family (her father is a multi-millionaire). If she cannot be trusted to take responsibility for getting into a relationship when someone up front tells them their expectations then who the fuck can?
If you really cared about this issue as much as you seem to think you do, you'd be more offended that this spoiled brat is trivializing the experiences of women who actually do suffer abuse and have limited options to protect themselves.
Trust me pal, you out "misogyny" me any day of the weak. At least I see women as human beings instead of pets.
1 zergling_Lester 2018-06-15
And she said that it was a huge mistake.
You're being a typical SJW right now, except worse: instead of straightforwardly admitting that it's all about assigning blame, you also pretend that assigning blame is about getting good outcomes really.
We should tell everyone that a small fuck up like not recognizing such early warning signs can suck you into a very abusive relationship from which it would be as hard to get out as for a drunk person to refuse another drink. This is a fact and it is helpful.
Reinterpreting this fact as if it were talking about how blame is supposed to be assigned is retarded.
Also, I hope that we are on the same page wrt the guy being a total asshole and being upfront with his expectations is not an excuse for him? So it was entirely good for her to expose him?
1 VidiotGamer 2018-06-15
Be honest here, after you read my post, how long did it take you to trawl through the medium post that you obviously didn't read just so that you could try to find something that might let you shift those goalposts just a tiny bit?
Look, this bimbo made her choice. It was an informed choice. She was never at any risk of physical danger. She wasn't in any sort of financial danger (she's rich). When her relationship ended, her partner didn't rush out and bad mouth her on the internet.
She's a fucking creep. She's using a movement that I might even tangentially agree with the premise of and cheapening it with her stupid retarded antics.
And you're defending that.
1 zergling_Lester 2018-06-15
About 2 minutes and I have no shame since it worked out in the end.
Now you be honest: how does it feel to downvote the person before replying to them because they hurt your seriousposting feelings? Do you think "that'll show them" or something?
I know that it was you because my first reply was at zero, now both my replies to you are at zero and it's quite unlikely that a butthurt passerby would downvote the first one, then another would downvote the second one.
You're disgusting and I don't even want to dignify you with an answer. /u/ComedicSans, please ban this little shit who goes against everything that /r/drama stands for!
No, she made a somewhat informed small choice in the beginning and then got way more and worse life than she have chosen.
I don't even discuss how much she is to blame, that's what your moralizing asshole can't help doing.
I'm saying that:
the world would be a better place if we inform people that ignoring them red flags could be a small mistake that ends up being a huge mistake.
the dude is a total asshole and exposing him is good.
1 VidiotGamer 2018-06-15
Bitch. This is how life works. At any time she can choose to get off the gape-town express to anal pounding town. If anyone can manage it, I'd imagine it's a rich Stacey with a connected daddy.
The fact that you're an utter mongoloid that stepped into a thread without knowing shit and instinctively jumped into "BUT WHAT ABOUT THE WHAMMENS!" is not my fault. You're a retard. Own that shit. It works for you. Some day, maybe even soon, people might finally care about you.
But probably not.
1 zergling_Lester 2018-06-15
No, that's not how abusive relationships work. Even stacys like that have hard time getting out.
If you weren't so caught in the "she's nothing to be blamed for"/"it's all her fault" dichotomy like some, idk, what's the mirror opposite of autisms who's all into social shit and can't into logic and reason, you wouldn't be so upset about the facts.
1 asdflkaiuwemn 2018-06-15
She accuses him of blackballing her in her industry. I'm not sure if I believe her -- the story seemed a little... one-sided? Like half of a story? Also, it somehow didn't strike me that she was writing her piece because of the alleged blackballing, what with the foregrounding of all the other complaints.
I grant you that she should take responsibility for having involved herself with this guy, and it's frustrating that lots of #metoo supporters refuse to acknowledge that. But let's imagine for a second that she's not lying. The story, in that case, is not just, "He was a bad boyfriend, and I couldn't leave for vague reasons. And now I'm responding to his abuse in public." Rather, the story is, "He was a bad boyfriend, and I couldn't leave because (at least partly) he was threatening and scary. When I did finally leave, he harassed me in public and private, with disastrous consequences for my reputation career. And now I'm responding to his abuse in public."
If we grant that she's not lying -- and that he really did harass her in the way she alleges -- then isn't she pretty justified in coming after his ass? That's what it seems like to me.
Switch the genders for a second. Imagine a man starts going out with a woman, and throughout their relationship, she controls him via crazy, manic behavior -- let's say she frequently floats the idea that he might have abused her, when he did nothing of the sort. Let's say that after the man finally realizes he must end this relationship, she spreads a rumor in his professional circle that he really did abuse her. Let's say that this man begins to realize that he must live beneath a cloud of suspicion. And let's say that he issues a response, much like this essay, wherein, to defend himself, he explains the nature of his relationship with this girl, and documents all of the girl's horrifyingly manipulative behavior.
I'm sure you'd tell the guy he should take responsibility for his actions, but wouldn't you also think that his public defense was justified?
Of course, then we have to ask whether we think she's misrepresenting her ex's behavior after the relationship or not. And God, I don't know that I want to go down that rabbit hole.
1 Ihurtinside 2018-06-15
That was a refreshingly honest, well-thought out, and excellently worded response. Why the fuck are you on Reddit?
1 Naught 2018-06-15
You haven't met many feminists I would guess.
1 Sardinops 2018-06-15
Men are probably more often psychologically abused by their partners than women. Wtf does this have to do with misogyny?
1 Naught 2018-06-15
Probably? Let's see your peer-reviewed, scientific sources for that belief. You do realize that what you just said is textbook misogyny, right? Naw, you don't.
1 Sardinops 2018-06-15
Why, because women are crazier than men? Sorry, that's just a widely accepted fact. Something to do with the estrogens clouding out the brain, i forget yhe exact language the studies used.
1 Naught 2018-06-15
"widely accepted fact."
"Something to do with the estrogens clouding out the brain."
You need to step out of your echo chamber.
1 Sardinops 2018-06-15
Sorry, i'm going to have to redpill you. You see, its a fact that womens skulls are on average 3.6cm smaller than mens, as Schneider et al. (1932) found on examing euthanized asylum patients. Hildegaard (1928) proposed that the lacking female intellect was the direct result of bottled up psychic life force, which was later confirmed by Freud himself. What was bottling up the intellect?? Estrogen, which acts like calcium in the brain and literally calcifies the parts of the brain responsible for critical thinking. That's why women need so many institutions to tilt tge playing field in their favor; their brains are literally calcified by estrogen. And now it's starting to happen to men like you too (let me guess, you consume soy products...) as more estrogen makes its way into the tap water supply. I BEG you to try and refute that, but i doubt your marble brain can even comprehend complex thought like my own.
1 Naught 2018-06-15
This is so great! Man, I hope you are just satirizing anti-science nutjobs.
1 shallowm 2018-06-15
Is this organic pasta? If not, what's the source?
1 Sardinops 2018-06-15
Yea i cooked that up myself
1 GrovelingPeasant 2018-06-15
Lol fag
1 Naught 2018-06-15
Man, that would have stung in middle school.
1 SMDNOED 2018-06-15
But she wasn't abused. That's the point. He told her his conditions for the relationship, and that his last relationship ended due to lack of sex. So she had sex with him more often.
If she didn't want to, she could have left.
You're making her out to be a child incapable of making decisions.
1 Whaddaulookinat 2018-06-15
Tbf, he's a real peach, but he was upfront with it. It wasn't a slow and malignant insidious bait and switch. At which point do you absolve someone completely of getting into a known bad situation with no real upside?
1 wisty 2018-06-15
Just because victims of abuse make stupid decisions they later regret doesn't mean everyone who makes stupid decisions they later regret was a victim of abuse.
1 Naught 2018-06-15
I agree.
1 pvijay187 2018-06-15
Of course we know how abusive relationships work, my bitch knows that if she leaves I'll kill her
1 EichmannsCat 2018-06-15
Being the victim of someone else's bad behavior doesn't magically make you immune to criticism.
How does dating an abusive asshole suddenly absolve you of all responsibility for the situation?
1 rosenbergstein 2018-06-15
It doesn't
What does it is being a woman
1 EichmannsCat 2018-06-15
volcel detected
1 WinterTeaching 2018-06-15
He made it clear from the start what kind of relationship he wanted to have. Not the guys' fault that women be crazy.
1 SigmaMu 2018-06-15
How dare he set boundaries!
1 reptilia987 2018-06-15
lmao
1 Naught 2018-06-15
I'm as surprised as you are. Maybe my experience with the sub is limited, but this level of toxicity is absurd.
1 reptilia987 2018-06-15
Let me tell you this-- /r/Drama is one of the most malevolent, cruel, coldhearted online communities you'll ever find, and even as a supporter of free speech it appalls me that Reddit would allow such a vile, festering hub of bigotry and sadism to exist. You think [slur]town was bad? That subreddit, if you pick up on the dog-whistles (and many don't even bother with that-- say want you want about Stormfront, at least it bans "n[slur]"), will reveal itself to you as Reddit's number one hub for the web's most hardened Nazis, Klansmen, Fascists, and Gamergaters.
1 Naught 2018-06-15
Well, thank you for the info.
1 Ylajali_2002 2018-06-15
are you white?
1 menvaren 2018-06-15
Is there any doubt?
1 Naught 2018-06-15
Seems like a thoroughly loaded question.
1 imnotagayboy 2018-06-15
It's a pointless question IMO, your whiteness is practically dripping through my monitor
1 Awayfone 2018-06-15
Then stop being so toxic, duh
1 Naught 2018-06-15
I'll do my best
1 danklord9938437343 2018-06-15
You sound like a rapist.
1 Naught 2018-06-15
I sure hope not, darklord998437343.
1 danklord9938437343 2018-06-15
It's DANK. How dare you, RAPIST.
1 aonome 2018-06-15
How did you find this subreddit?
1 Naught 2018-06-15
What answer to that question would actually matter to you?
1 aonome 2018-06-15
What a dumb response. Why are you afraid of answering? It's just a question
1 Naught 2018-06-15
What a dumb question. Why did you even ask?
1 shallowm 2018-06-15
As a mod, he just wants to note effective ways of increasing the number of participants in the subreddit.
1 aonome 2018-06-15
This but unironically
1 Awayfone 2018-06-15
Useful knowledge to have really
1 Worse_than_AIDS 2018-06-15
Your response to a simple question sounds hostile and abusive. Can I get your autograph, Chris?
1 Naught 2018-06-15
Sure, send me a self-addressed envelope. I'm sure you can find my address somewhere. The internet is a big place
1 Worse_than_AIDS 2018-06-15
You're emotionally abusive, you rapist piece of shit.
Can I get your autograph, Chris?
1 Naught 2018-06-15
Spot on.
1 JIDFofficer 2018-06-15
lol stupid femoids never learn theyll always be with chad
1 ObnoxiousFactczecher 2018-06-15
...for believing that women are fully capable making their own decisions? M'kay...
1 Naught 2018-06-15
Nope.
1 eBookMerchant 2018-06-15
MORE SOY FOR THE BOY
1 myshl0ng 2018-06-15
1 spookyguy109 2018-06-15
She had every opportunity to leave. She allowed herself to be abused.
1 Nopepole 2018-06-15
People always say this but never elaborate.
1 imnotagayboy 2018-06-15
Actually this post is just further proof that women, especially white women, are completely fucking retarded. She let some old Z list celebrity fuck her when she starfished, there's not much more to it than that.
1 dootwiththesickness 2018-06-15
Hijacking the top comment to ask: what is it with Americsn Doctor Who fans?
1 VidiotGamer 2018-06-15
I don't know this nerd shit. I only watch Neighbours and Home and Away.
1 Whaddaulookinat 2018-06-15
I see you're a man of taste
1 VidiotGamer 2018-06-15
Legit, I grab some stubbies from the bottle-o, a pie from the servo and then sit down and watch Neighbours on channel 10.
Then I go out and ooze misogyny and set back the womens rights movement by insisting they have such as much responsibility to not be a retarded as I do.
1 Jimbo_B_Beterson 2018-06-15
Autism. 2013 if you wore anything doctor who related you'd get lots of compliments and people trying to talk to you. It attracted a different kind of person
1 MooseHeckler 2018-06-15
Doctor Who was once a fun, if silly British show that some mostly normal Ameriburger fans liked to watch. Now it seems to draw an absolutely strange fan base.
1 87ffdy654 2018-06-15
Hatred for Chris Hardwick vs Typical women bullshit...
I made my choice: Bye Chris!
1 VidiotGamer 2018-06-15
Honestly, I hate Chad Limpdick too, but he didn't pitch a public fit when his trophy bimbo decided to part ways with him.
1 Plexipus 2018-06-15
Imagine being so entrenched in your ideology you find yourself defending Chad Hardwick
1 comeatmehillary 2018-06-15
If everyone in hollywood is a rapist how does me too work
1 Stenwalden 2018-06-15
This is a reply to this whole thread: Jesus fucking Christ, you people need to lay off the internet for a while.
1 chicagoanimal 2018-06-15
This guy's not wrong
1 corprethar 2018-06-15
starfishing?
1 Hwga_lurker_tw 2018-06-15
When a woman lays on her back with her arms and legs spread during coitus.
It means she's bad in bed.
1 sh0t 2018-06-15
One man's starfish is another man's seahorse
1 Hwga_lurker_tw 2018-06-15
No this is Patrick.
1 MargarineIsEvil 2018-06-15
Who the fuck is Chris Hardwick.
1 midairfistfight 2018-06-15
An LA media sociopath specializing in standup comedy and nerd-pandering.
1 WhatsupDoc001 2018-06-15
"Specializing" is inaccurate. Trying is better. Failing is best.
1 Plexipus 2018-06-15
Well I mean he hosts The Talking Dead, which gets two thirds of its viewers from people who fell asleep watching the new TWD episode
1 ALoudMouthBaby 2018-06-15
Everything Ive ever seen from him just seems sooooo...... desperate.
1 Awayfone 2018-06-15
A "famous" geek. Hosted a walking dead talkshow and the nerdiest podcast. Writes for wired
Was will wheaton's roommate in college
1 Neon_needles 2018-06-15
oh, so a complete faggot. Got it.
1 MargarineIsEvil 2018-06-15
Sounds like the kind of retard who thinks GamerGate was an important cultural event.
1 comcastic12345 2018-06-15
I think I love you too, faggot
1 MargarineIsEvil 2018-06-15
Gross
1 myusername_sucks 2018-06-15
He also owns? Co-owns? The Nerdist "brand"/company
1 anongentry 2018-06-15
No longer, was bought out by legendary and he basically removed himself from the name about 6 months ago
1 imnotagayboy 2018-06-15
/u/wil how do you feel knowing someone you roomed with in college turned out to be a male feminist? Were there any warning signs?
1 Awayfone 2018-06-15
Shockingly for once he not rushing to judgement, oddly. He has to take some time to process what's going on with his best friend
1 imnotagayboy 2018-06-15
Wtf? He needs to listen and believe, what is this misogynist shit?
1 PUBLIQclopAccountant 2018-06-15
You forgot his only actual accomplishment: his collab album with Mark Phirman.
1 tron_funkin_blow 2018-06-15
He hosted the MTV show Singled Out. Only 90's kids would get this.
1 Sc0tty2hotty 2018-06-15
Can't forget Shipmates, another daytime treasure
1 MargarineIsEvil 2018-06-15
I'm a 90s kid but I come from Africa!
1 Hamalama 2018-06-15
Then you should remember your "Buffalo Bills Super Bowl Champions" t-shirt.
1 MargarineIsEvil 2018-06-15
We don't have superbowl. We have cricket, rugby and soccer world cup.
1 ArlenBilldozer 2018-06-15
WEWLAD
1 rcinmd 2018-06-15
He helped unleash the scourge of Jenny McCarthy upon this fine nation.
1 Assy-McGee 2018-06-15
We got Carmen Electra tho 😩✋🍆💦💦💦
1 tpx187 2018-06-15
She's getting better now....
Maybe I am biased because she moved to my hometown and will help get a Wahlburgers now.
Yes, that is the case.
1 Radank 2018-06-15
Don't sleep on Wahlburgers.
1 LobotomistCircu 2018-06-15
Playboy mostly did that
1 Jimbo_B_Beterson 2018-06-15
He was cool 2011-2013
1 Thhueros 2018-06-15
Hes a creepy tv host or something who has to act out all his emotions and constantly feigns exuberance.
I've known one guy like that IRL and he turned out to be a bona fide serial rapist.
1 bobbybonnadouchey 2018-06-15
wew lad reset the clock.
Also nerdist.com is sjw as fuck. This is great news.
Now someone metoo dorkly.com please.
1 Thrownawayaccount69 2018-06-15
Holy fuck people have issues... Tell your daughter not to be a gold digger and to leave relationships that aren't healthy and maybe she'll be fine.
Who am I kidding.
1 rosenbergstein 2018-06-15
B-b-b-but it's not like they have a choice! See, when a woman enters an abusive relationship (which she doesn't realize at the time), she completely loses control over her own actions and decisions
1 shallowm 2018-06-15
The stench of an MDEgenerate is even worse than that of a Jew.
1 rosenbergstein 2018-06-15
At least I don't go around selling people crap for 10x what it is worth
1 TransexualWiener 2018-06-15
typical thot with typical thot issues. "i dated men old enough to be my father, and turns out, middle aged men who date 20 years olds are abusive and creepy !!"
yawn.
1 Chicup 2018-06-15
Even listening to a 20 year old is painful as a middle aged man.
1 modsarethebest 2018-06-15
sure, but her buns are the best
1 SWIMsfriend 2018-06-15
I love when people say this, as if 20 year olds didnt feel the same way,, but would continue listening because of a lack of options
1 Jimbo_B_Beterson 2018-06-15
wut
1 sand-which 2018-06-15
you’re right dude let’s not have sympathy for people that were abused because why didn’t they just leave!!! didnt they know better
this is an extremely regular, healthy, and normal view of how toxic relationships work
1 bluebelltexas 2018-06-15
But they’re not implying that though
They’re just being funny
Not everything is veiled misogyny you know
1 sand-which 2018-06-15
i mean this guy posted this comment on this same thread
1 bluebelltexas 2018-06-15
Also him trying to be funny/rude-funny, and he has a point. A crass one but still a point. I see why you would be bothered by it but I think honestly you’re taking it a little too seriously.
1 sand-which 2018-06-15
I don't feel like that's really true, that comment doesn't feel like a joke to me. I don't know how you see humor in it, he isn't trying for that.
There's no humor in it, it's the fucking classic NiceGuy "shes a thot who only stayed in it for the money, she deserves all that she gets."
Just, a complete misunderstaning and ignorance of what makes abusive relationships actually abusive relationships
1 bluebelltexas 2018-06-15
Look I’ve been in “abusive relationships” and it’s lost on me why I should be bothered by some crass humor/even not humor. Doesn’t necessarily represent a person’s full thinking on the matter, doesn’t making him a misogynist or somebody who thinks badly of women. Just this particular woman. And on that matter, I think this particular woman hasn’t earned much sympathy or the label of “abuse victim.”
This woman, the one who wrote the article, was not abused. She never alleges anything tantamount to abuse in the whole article. Immaturity, selfishness, disgustingly stupid behavior, sure. Not abuse. They’re different, and not subjective.
She’s claiming to be, though, and that’s gross. She is publicly airing dirty laundry years later about non-criminal intimate behavior of an easily identifiable man. I wouldn’t call her a gold digging thot, mostly because I don’t really know what thot means, but she wasn’t in an abusive relationship and she’s not immune from criticism as to why in the world she’s writing this article and what kind of person she is. Even criticism you find rude or disagree with.
1 sand-which 2018-06-15
I think some people have different scales on what "Abusive" is. To me, this is abusive, but can we at least agree on "toxic relationship"? I mean, just reading the things that this woman wrote makes me glad I know about them so that I don't follow Chris Hardwick. I think knowing this stuff about people we look up to is important, and I'd much rather this that have it be kept in the dark
1 bluebelltexas 2018-06-15
Well that depends whether it’s just “abusive” as a descriptive word, or whether you mean “abusive” as in “he abused her.”
I don’t like using “abusive” to describe something that isn’t actual abuse, which has a definition under the law which her story doesn’t fit. “Shitty and awful,” yes, but not abusive. It’s like saying something that isn’t actual rape is “rape-y.” I hope I’m not assuming too much but it sounds to me like you and I would agree that using “rape-y” diminishes the act of rape, and by extension the victims of it. Or at least I’d be willing to put that out as a reason why I wouldn’t use rape-y to describe something.
I do agree that they had a toxic relationship. Definitely. But that’s something you tell your friends, not the whole world. They’re both kinda “famous,” and the fact that he’s a shitty, controlling boyfriend is not relevant to following his work. I am a little conflicted because he shouldn’t just “get away with it,” in a sense, but at the same time, he’s done nothing illegal or abusive under the law, and... I don’t know, it’s just really alarming to me to think that this article is justified and isn’t just a really nasty move by an ex. Even if she is justifiably angry and hurt, I don’t see how writing this and publishing it for the whole world isn’t a really, really awful thing to do to a person. She’s slandering him for no legally or professionally justifiable reason, since she’s not suing him for roadblocking her career or taking him to court for abuse.
Does that make sense? Hope so.
1 Worse_than_AIDS 2018-06-15
I love you too faggot
1 Awayfone 2018-06-15
She consented to sexual assault. An act define by lack of consent
1 BumwineBaudelaire 2018-06-15
#metoo is trying to turn buyer’s remorse into a crime
1 loperetti 2018-06-15
For Christ's sake, this is ridiculous. At least the outrage about this shit is going away.
1 kippot 2018-06-15
Sounds like you should go your own way with a cock up your ass
1 loperetti 2018-06-15
What does that even mean?
1 kippot 2018-06-15
/r/mgtowwom
1 EarnestNoMeta 2018-06-15
gay
1 kippot 2018-06-15
Only the manliest men can handle it, no wonder you can't
1 rcinmd 2018-06-15
You say that as if it's a bad thing. #happypride
1 kippot 2018-06-15
Men go their own way with other men aka /r/mgtowwom
Know your memes lad
1 [deleted] 2018-06-15
[removed]
1 workshardanddies 2018-06-15
I've been in long term relationships, more or less continuously, for the past dozen years.
And that's a dozen years of having my cock up a woman's ass while not giving half a turd about the behavioral standards of #metoo. I don't hit and I don't coerce. But if sex stops happening, our relationship isn't going to last very long.
In one case, I was with someone for three years. And we had a wonderfully tender and emotionally compatible relationship. But, sexually, we couldn't have been further apart. And she accommodated me to keep our relationship together. But she was obviously traumatized by my sexuality (most women I've dated are not - she was just extremely sensitive). So, over time, I initiated sex less and less, because I became too concerned by her emotional distress to want to continue. And then, after 6 months of a sexless relationship, we broke up. And I couldn't try to accommodate her, because I felt repulsed by the kind of sexual interactions she wanted and, frankly, couldn't get it up the few times that I tried to do it anyway.
The point of this is that a woman's preferences aren't the paramount concern of a relationship. Both people need to have their needs met. And just because a particular woman has stereotypical (though, from my experience, not that actually typical) sexual and emotional needs does not make her anymore virtuous, or anymore victimized when she isn't compatible with her partner.
1 Infuser 2018-06-15
Wait, both she was traumatized by your sexuality and you were repulsed by what she wanted? The imagination runs wild.
1 roofied_elephant 2018-06-15
He wanted to go ass to mouth and she wanted missionary under the blankets in the dark.
1 Infuser 2018-06-15
Wow, holy shit. And here I was thinking it was just BDSM vs Furry.
1 workshardanddies 2018-06-15
This is the most accurate conjecture. More like she wanted slow missionary while holding hands, and I wanted ... something else.
I'm very emotionally disconnected from sex. I very much like to cuddle. But sex is depersonalized and dominance oriented. And there's nothing I can do to change that.
My sexual interests have been more or less consistent since I was 11 or 12.
1 shallowm 2018-06-15
How can you be "repulsed" by slow missionary? It's like the most vanilla thing ever.
1 workshardanddies 2018-06-15
Yeah. It was more complicated than that, really. It was the emotional dynamic. She simply could not decouple sexuality and emotional vulnerability. She was totally anorgasmic, and not just from sex - she couldn't masturbate to completion, either.
So her idea of sex was quite nonsexual, in a way. And for her as much as for me. I'm not sure why I experienced outright feelings of revulsion when attempting to accommodate her sexuality, but I did. But it wasn't revulsion at her. Not at all. She was a wonderful and special person, and I felt that way then as I do now. But something about sex ... and her ... and me ... just didn't work.
1 CG28 2018-06-15
Would you pick vanilla?
1 shallowm 2018-06-15
I understand if someone finds it "boring", but "repulsive" is a bit of a stretch.
1 i_cant_get_fat 2018-06-15
Cosby, Weinstein, and Spacey are all swarming with incidents that prove your view incorrect. Plenty of bullshit callouts have happened, but to generalize the movement by just the bullshit and not the valuable substance makes it seem like you’ve got some weird bias going on.
1 rosenbergstein 2018-06-15
It's different when an old fat jewish dude gropes you and when someone states since day one what kind of relationship he wants and you just go with it.
1 Ace4929 2018-06-15
Well the issue is if you say no youre blacklisted from the industry and have to work at wendy’s, thats sort of an important point here
1 rosenbergstein 2018-06-15
What industry? It's not like she is in STEM or anything
1 Ace4929 2018-06-15
Film. The entertainment industry is incredibly small amd thus exclusive
1 rosenbergstein 2018-06-15
Why doesn't she try getting a real job then? The film industry is saturated already
1 BumwineBaudelaire 2018-06-15
lol Weinstein is the perfect example of buyers remorse
if you think those hot young Hollywood starlets slept with a fat gross old Jew for any reason than to advance their careers then you’re a serious misogynist
1 OverlordQ 2018-06-15
I would find a different place to try and inject logic and reason.
1 lol_te_gusto 2018-06-15
how that sir elliot worshiping going?
1 loperetti 2018-06-15
I've raped women and I've been raped so many time according to these clowns
1 UmbellateSaxhorn 2018-06-15
"I'm a rapist" - /u/loperetti
Forwarded to www.tips.fbi.gov
1 loperetti 2018-06-15
Go nuts.
1 EichmannsCat 2018-06-15
He's right dude, you shouldn't rape clowns.
...idn if that's a federal thing though. What municipality do you live in? We should probably report it to the local cops.
1 loperetti 2018-06-15
Shut up
1 imnotagayboy 2018-06-15
Stfu rapist
1 mtg_liebestod 2018-06-15
Yep. Someone saying the relationship will end if you don’t have sex doe not mean that the sex becomes coercive. Bad, unsatisfying sex borne begrudgingly out of a desire to maintain the relationship is not assault.
There are so many things worth criticizing about this relationship without trying to muddy the clearly-understood waters of consent.
1 TransexualWiener 2018-06-15
is there even any other kind of relationship sex?
1 workshardanddies 2018-06-15
This isn't sexual assault.
The first part isn't even really that inappropriate. He's allowed to have relationship standards, and even requirements. And you're allowed to leave. That's how it is for free people in a free society.
The second part sounds shitty. But having a shitty, insensitive partner isn't assault. It's just a bad relationship and you should leave if it makes you unhappy.
1 Infuser 2018-06-15
It’s not sexual assault in the least, but JFC that’s clear as day fucked up manipulation. She’s not off the hook for what sounds like being the ultimate doormat, but that doesn’t make his behavior acceptable, or even excusable. That is, she enabled it by not sticking to her guns on anything, but he’s the one that chose to behave the way he did.
1 VidiotGamer 2018-06-15
So, on what planet, is being honest and open about what you need in a relationship not acceptable or excusable behavior?
Just because you find whatever his standards are to be offputting, doesn't really change the context that he was honest and not-manipulative. It's not manipulative to say, "I need X in a relationship". It's the fucking truth (no pun intended).
She had plenty of chances to get off the train to gape-town. It's not his fault that he she decided she was okay with compromising her own morals and standards to be with him.
1 bluebelltexas 2018-06-15
I don’t know if “honest and open” is exactly how I’d characterize it, more like “being upfront about the fact that I’m a total dick,” but I agree with you overall. She’s a brat, he’s a dick.
1 Infuser 2018-06-15
Because context. If he was merely communicating, “Standards,” it would be discussing it like an adult (namely, at a better time like the next day), not immediately making a thinly-veiled threat of dumping to manipulate someone into compliance. You can be open and honest about what you want and still go about it in a manipulative way.
1 VidiotGamer 2018-06-15
Says the guy who wasn't there.
Literally nothing manipulative about this. You're literally defending the thought process of a woman who wrote that consensual sex she agreed to was sexual assault.
If you care half as much about this as you seem to think you do, you'd be outraged at her sharing her bad relationship story and equivocating it with women who have suffered actual abuse. She is literally making a joke out of them.
1 bluebelltexas 2018-06-15
Well hang on, assuming how she described it was basically accurate, I’d still say that bringing up his previous relationship’s sex habits when she has said she’s sick and doesn’t want to is at least an attempt to manipulate her. If you don’t want to call it outright manipulative.
I think you’re right, the girl is awful and is trying to paint herself in a sympathetic light and claim to be an abuse victim when all she’s the victim of is having horribly low standards and a vanity complex, but at the same time, I wouldn’t say that he’s excusable either, for being selfish, rude, immature and disgusting. I think he’s manipulative or trying to be as well, but I can see why you would disagree.
They both sound like awful people.
1 wiking85 2018-06-15
Sure. Him saying that should have been the cue to dump his ass, because that shit ain't acceptable.
1 Infuser 2018-06-15
That’s a given.
1 wiking85 2018-06-15
Apparently it wasn't because she gave in and stayed. When he did that it was painfully clear it was time to get out....given that his initial rules to date him didn't make that blindingly obvious.
1 ay_what_up2 2018-06-15
He wasn’t understanding like a good partner should be. He wants to have sex, his gf says she’s feeling sick and not up to it right now, and then he tells her he broke up with the last girl that didn’t have lots of sex with him. What an asshole
1 VidiotGamer 2018-06-15
I agree he's an asshole. That's not the point though - she was the retard that chose to get into a relationship with the asshole who made his assholeness known from the start and then continued for some reason that she never fully explains other inferring she was hoping he'd suddenly stop being an asshole, despite him telling her straight up he was one.
Is there a word for that? I think retarded might fit the bill.
1 ay_what_up2 2018-06-15
I think doormat with low self-esteem(which is strongly associated with anorexia) might fit the bill better. It still doesn’t excuse his behavior, which WAS the point of the comment I replied to
1 NaturalHue 2018-06-15
She said she was in tears sometimes during this "sex". I've been in a similar situation so I don't have the energy to talk about it fully. Just think about what it might actually feel like to be made to feel like you have to have sex with this person, how gross you would feel allowing someone to sleep with you when you don't want to. Manipulative relationships and coercive sex are complicated things.
I'm not replying to anyone after this comment, it just saddens me to see people over simplifying this.
1 workshardanddies 2018-06-15
I'm not oversimplifying. He was a prick. And if you want to describe the relationship as 'abusive', I'm fine with that. But it's not sexual assault.
Why? Because sexual assault is a term with grave legal and social significance. So we have to be careful about expanding its application, even if we might be sympathetic to one's claim of 'feeling' sexually assaulted. And if the term is used so subjectively, the risk is that it will be used as a smear - the audience will have an idea in mind that's very different than what happened, while the accuser hides behind claims of subjective experience.
I'm not trying to demonize her or minimize her feelings. But this isn't sexual assault, and she said that it was.
1 Pepperglue 2018-06-15
Seems like a disclaimer to me.
Not much of a recovery.
Hardwick may be a dick, but I don't think this warrants the call of PoundMeToo brigade.
1 ay_what_up2 2018-06-15
Tbh I think it does. He didn’t do anything criminal but holy shit what an asshole, who cares if he gets some internet abuse. He knew he was doing something wrong, Chloe said he was afraid she’d tell people about their, but he did it anyway
1 ricardogce 2018-06-15
If you're capable of fucking your crying girlfriend who's just told you she's too sick to have sex, then you're an abusive piece of shit, consent or not.
1 rosenbergstein 2018-06-15
As are most actors/television hosts/stand up comedians
1 lol_te_gusto 2018-06-15
yes! they crave the attention and worship. Almost any of them are borderline pathological sociopaths
1 Clark_Savage_Jr 2018-06-15
Go see a taping of Dan Harmon's podcast sometime.
He was a pathetic drunk mess begging for attention both times I've been dragged to his shows by friends.
1 rosenbergstein 2018-06-15
Link plz?
1 Clark_Savage_Jr 2018-06-15
I think it's its called Harmontown.
I don't know where you go to see the videos or if you can see them without paying.
1 shallowm 2018-06-15
a
1 Bluest_waters 2018-06-15
yeah no shit
of course he is
then....leave!! literally NOTHING was stopping her from leaving.
break up, move on, geta life. Stop acting like you dont have agency.
1 Sleepypiejellybean 2018-06-15
Yeah, then joke about it and call it "starfishing".
1 tiniest-wizard 2018-06-15
It's call coercion, and it's a form of sexual abuse/assault.
https://www.womenshealth.gov/relationships-and-safety/other-types/sexual-coercion
1 mtg_liebestod 2018-06-15
Find a sexual assault case in America that was successfully prosecuted where the relevant facts were along the lines of "he threatened to break up with me if we didn't have sex more." Ever. I'll wait.
1 itsnotmyfault 2018-06-15
>Taykin
1 shannon9473 2018-06-15
I’m so confused what is this
1 itsnotmyfault 2018-06-15
It's an April Fools joke she did in 2016
1 shannon9473 2018-06-15
Ooh I see thanks for the explanation!
1 shallowm 2018-06-15
tfw /r/drama betrays one of its own tay-worshippers
1 Rystic 2018-06-15
Wew lad. I know what this article is about but this line made me crack up.
1 SarcasticSamurai 2018-06-15
Haha, thank you! I could not figure out what that word was supposed to be.
1 ason 2018-06-15
Lol I thought it was "fuck it", but faggot is a lot funnier.
1 Infuser 2018-06-15
Same. TBH it sounds like the sort of thing someone I’m dating would say, and we’d both laugh.
1 whenweriiide 2018-06-15
I know that dude is an asshole, but if my girlfriend told me that I'd fuckin laugh
1 Rystic 2018-06-15
TBH if you're in a relationship where both sides can't say this and get a laugh your relationship is shit. It's shit.
1 dapperjabber 2018-06-15
Why does it sound like something Aubrey Plaza would say before she burns a cigarette out on your arm?
1 whenweriiide 2018-06-15
Oh my god I think I just discovered my kink
1 whenweriiide 2018-06-15
Have you seen Ingrid Goes West?
1 dapperjabber 2018-06-15
I really need to.
Against all rational sense, I desire Aubrey to step on me with stilettos as I praise her deeds.
1 whenweriiide 2018-06-15
And people say r/drama can't bring people together. Nothing irrational about it my friend
1 shallowm 2018-06-15
mod this man immediately
1 IndignantGoosnargh 2018-06-15
I feel bad for her but
In your early teens you're a kid, in your 20s you're a goddamn adult.
1 wiking85 2018-06-15
Your brain doesn't stop developing until 25. Biologically you're still a kid.
1 3E4K3RWRGZPR970NVH28 2018-06-15
No. I can tell that you are young, yourself, or that if you are an older adult, you haven't spent much time around early 20 somethings. Even mid 20's.
They are very much still children to older people.
1 Nopepole 2018-06-15
I spend the bulk of my time around 30 - 45 year olds and they're just a stupid as the the kids I went to high school with, only difference is it's a refined stupid and their more confident in their stupidity.
1 TransexualWiener 2018-06-15
women don't suddenly become more mature at 25. they are still idiots at 30.
1 diffdedbed 2018-06-15
Trigger warning: If abuse, sexual assault, or anorexia makes you uncomfortable, you might want to avoid this one.
1 newcomer_ts 2018-06-15
Is there a way to block these ads?
1 TheHeroReditDeserves 2018-06-15
lol male feminists in 2018.
1 HodorTheDoorHolder 2018-06-15
Chris Hardwick is married now. Who is this girl?
1 MoonMonsoon 2018-06-15
His ex....
1 HodorTheDoorHolder 2018-06-15
Quit being a cunt.
1 dissident87 2018-06-15
Her calling reluctantly having dispassionate sex with him “sexual assault” is hilarious
Him calling it “starfishing” is just gross
He didn’t do anything criminal so I don’t really get the point of putting all of this out there. But it’s the least surprising thing I’ve read all week. Hardwick has always obviously been a giant fake barely hiding an ugly controlling personality
1 Awayfone 2018-06-15
Maybe he is sexuallyvatteacted to starfish
1 Grandmabird 2018-06-15
POINTS!
1 ConsoleWarCriminal 2018-06-15
*cums on slave gf's tear-streaked face*
WIPE WIPE WIPE
1 pvijay187 2018-06-15
Does someone have a TLDR of this bullshit
1 Jimbo_B_Beterson 2018-06-15
Chris stuckmans a faggot and she's the one who had to find out
1 pvijay187 2018-06-15
Lol I don't think it's about the YouTube movie reviwer guy
1 Jimbo_B_Beterson 2018-06-15
Whoops I meant Hardwick
Whatever I don't like stuckmans content anyways
1 pvijay187 2018-06-15
Probably a rapist abuser
1 Awayfone 2018-06-15
he made his wife not just watch but read twilight
1 modsarethebest 2018-06-15
Stacy wanted her sugar Nerd to propose, so she put up with his rules-based global order. He told her that he wants to have sex regularly, so she had sex with him regularly, even when she wasn't feeling horny.
This is rape and abuse, because women are simulatenously
retarded infants
porcelain dolls
the best choice for CEO of all successful companies
1 VidiotGamer 2018-06-15
Legitimately the funniest comment here.
1 _MAGAMEMNON_ 2018-06-15
++
1 EichmannsCat 2018-06-15
Twitter thot dates controlling sugar-daddy. Doesn't like it. Doesn't do anything about it for three years.
...eventually does something about it.
~FIN
1 nithingpole 2018-06-15
She was young and dumb. Good for her for getting out. Don't know the comedian but he sounds like the typical Hollywood asshole who will be insecure about his receding hairline and beer gut in a few years.
1 SCHOTTZIE 2018-06-15
"Look out for red flags"
Uhhh, those red flags could not have beat you over the head any harder, sister.
I'm not excusing the abusive and controlling behavior of the other person at all, but at some point you have to develop some sort of self-awareness and personal responsibility. If you are this co-dependent, you are not even ready to be in a relationship and need to speak with a therapist.
People are not nice. Some of them are downright cruel. Jumping into a relationship with a man two decades your senior without have the emotional or mental maturity to do so is risky at best, and more often than not, this is the result.
1 atheistium 2018-06-15
I think it's easy for people to say on the outside. It's mainly down to self worth - if you have none you start to put up with a lot of bullshit - hense why if you ever feel not great about yourself you should avoid a relationship or you're just open to this shit.
Ever had a friend who dated an asshole but wouldn't see how much of an asshole they were? And stayed with them?
I've even said myself "i don't get how girls don't see the signs" until I got myself in a bad relationship and it's amazing how quickly you forgive really fucked up comments or actions.
I dated a guy for nearly 2 years who;
this wasn't an abusive one above - just an asshole. But I still stayed with him for like 2 years. So it's easy to see how people get with worse.
I did date a guy who got incredibly angry and punched a wall and screamed at me and I left his place at 4am because i'm like "fuck that risk". But for some people leaving at 4am isn't an option for them so they put up with it.
1 I_DRINK_TO_FORGET 2018-06-15
Ever considered the fact that its your personal failing and not the fault of society that you dated a shithead?
1 atheistium 2018-06-15
Uh... I don’t think it’s society - he was an asshole? I don’t get your point - could you elaborate a bit more? :)
1 alphetasauce 2018-06-15
He's asking why you put up with that shit. You obviously knew that he wasn't taking the relationship seriously. Why would you keep dating the asshole? Was the sex that good?
1 atheistium 2018-06-15
Because sometimes he was kind, loving and fun and when you have low esteem you kind of pull of that moments so much that you forget in general he's an asshole. The sex wasn't **that** great but it was good. But there were good moments. And when you don't think you're worth it yourself, you put up with it and grab at the happy times.
Typically you'll find that people put up with bullshit when other times feel happy. Even as they become further and further apart. It's never an "instant asshole" thing as well. It's very gradual - I mean no one dates someone who calls them ugly within a month, right? But after several months and the slight remark comes out, a weird behaviour, you put it down to work stress or other things. It happens again you get an apology - they blame something else and because you love them you believe it.
I think there's a misconception that most shitty situations are like that from the get go. They aren't and they grow slowly to get worse and worse and sometimes you've already committed a lot of time to a person so you don't just "give up". Especially if you live with them etc.
1 grace_p_kelly 2018-06-15
I am sorry for what you went through. You won't find much sympathy here on reddit, sadly. I do understand why you let it go on for so long. I think we need to teach people self respect and to never put up with this. Insecurity is a powerful thing that allowed you to continue grasping at the thin air that was your relationship with him.
You know better now. And the people commenting and saying hurtful things are also not worth your time. You don't need to justify anything to them or explain yourself.
1 I_DRINK_TO_FORGET 2018-06-15
The point is that the woman in the OP is blaming the guy and society instead of herself for her poor life choices.
1 atheistium 2018-06-15
> It was then when I realised how fucking stupid I was. i was so mad at myself.
Yeah. People also told me he was an asshole while I was dating him and I thought they were just mad cos I cancelled on them to hang out with him sometimes. You do fucking stupid shit when you're in love with someone.
A friend of mine has done the exact same thing. Cut off tons of his friends and family for some girl who pulled the "im pregnant" card when he eventually left her. She would slap him and talk to him like shit but she was hot AF so I think he put up with it because of that. He said she was nice sometimes but most of the time just an asshole to him.
1 I_DRINK_TO_FORGET 2018-06-15
That's what I was really getting at. You seemed to admit you were somewhat responsible for your chosen relationship where as the woman in the OP is diverting all responsibility elsewhere.
Other people here are whining that pointing out she was complicit in her own abuse is victim blaming or some shit.
1 atheistium 2018-06-15
I get that but I just worry about people who instantly go "why didn't she leave?" like it's super simple.
Yes there's the draw of fame and money etc (though lets be honest... she started dating a podcast host first and foremost) but these rules aren't probably stated out as written. They're back handed most likely, slowly revealed over time without explicitly stating.
I know my ex went batshit crazy when I mentioned meeting up with my online mates I play games with - purely because he was worried something would happen even though I've never cheated, have no sexual interest in any of them, and most of them have girlfriends. Which is ironic when he later cheated on me when meeting up with his online mates.
But yeah, her getting out earlier should have happened but I think it's not that simple or tons of women wouldn't stay in these insane relationships for a long time. There's usually long-term convincing, establishing those rules and ensuring people obey them. Which is why it happens to both me and women.
1 VidiotGamer 2018-06-15
The answer to that question is pretty much the only reason why anyone is arguing in this thread.
1 Redactor0 2018-06-15
When did people start typing comments this long on r/drama?
1 SmurfPrivilege 2018-06-15
My issue is that most (non-intel) people, including most dudes, have gone through bad relationships like this. Learning to spot "red flags" and choose a partner that makes more positive than negative contributions to your life is part of learning how to navigate relationships. Lots of guys have stories like yours, but their stories don't get as much traction and any attempt to use the #metoo hashtag to put a spotlight on these abusive women will see backlash in the form of:
1 _MAGAMEMNON_ 2018-06-15
lol owned
1 _MAGAMEMNON_ 2018-06-15
lol owned
1 _MAGAMEMNON_ 2018-06-15
lol owned
1 sordfysh 2018-06-15
She said that he demanded that nights were for him early on. How anyone is willing to give up their friends for someone they just met is beyond me. The terrible lessons people have to learn.
It sounds like she was signing up to be a sugar baby or wifey. So essentially a domesticated caretaker. Aka a glorified slave. Lots of girls have submission complexes (many guys do too), but they don't seem to get that guys with domination complexes are at risk of being abusive. If you haven't created a safe word, it's not BDSM, it's abuse.
1 bluebelltexas 2018-06-15
...no.
A safe word wouldn’t make this guy not a dick. Connecting it to BDSM is, uh, odd. And guys who like to be dominant are NOT “at risk of being abusive.” Also a weird thing to say and not relevant to the article above. He was very controlling, not dominant. They’re very different things. Didn’t sound to me like he had a dominant bone in his shitty body.
1 SWIMsfriend 2018-06-15
He told you what the job entailed in the first day
1 Roflcaust 2018-06-15
This appears to be that point for her, as her article suggests. It’s possible she genuinely thought she was mature enough for this relationship and instead had her ass handed to her. I think we need to remember that she is a human who’s imperfect, mentally ill, and made mistakes. Her decision-making here isn’t the pertinent issue, nor is it helpful to point out since her article is already bookended by her recognition of her actions and the role she played in her own misery. She’s learning. Now, hopefully, Chris Hardwick will have a self-reckoning and come to terms with his own actions as well.
1 ReBurnInator 2018-06-15
I like the part at the end where she threatens to blackmail him.
1 justinforjustice 2018-06-15
I'm not picking a side here, but I have 1 serious question, How is it not a HUGE SERIOUS BLARING WARNING SIGN. 2 weeks into a relationship he tells you all these rules. That means you went along with those rules from 2 weeks in. 2 WEEKS. This tells me you were 100% ok with it, until after the fact. Not cool.
1 Chukril 2018-06-15
Money
1 justinforjustice 2018-06-15
Sadly that's what I'm thinking.
1 Awayfone 2018-06-15
Fame
1 PeanutButterMouth 2018-06-15
this is unrelated but what is the name of that male actor who dresses as an opulent lady and is all about drama on instagram? pls assist ty
1 worriedAmerican 2018-06-15
Imagine if people went through all your bad relationship decisions and publicly lynched you. Eyeroll.
1 CHAD_THUNDERCUCK 2018-06-15
good thing i'm not another hollywood LA sycophant pandering to the current social justice trend
1 worriedAmerican 2018-06-15
#MeToo movement has devolved into "Lynch for Likes".
Can't wait for the next celebrity man to be publicly lynched for their bad dates
1 87ffdy654 2018-06-15
They are floating on twitter, that the women who helped to blacklist her might be Felicia Day.
1 alphetasauce 2018-06-15
I've heard that it was Michele Morrow, the girl who hosts bilzzcon.
1 dramasexual 2018-06-15
I hope not. I like Felicia Day.
1 justinforjustice 2018-06-15
Am I stupid or does the title of this post not make any sense? "Looks like we got another male feminist." Who? What? I'm confused.
1 ason 2018-06-15
Not all rapists are male feminists, but all male feminists are rapists.
1 justinforjustice 2018-06-15
Hmm, I must've missed that breifing
1 Realkers 2018-06-15
Watching Naught self-destruct in this thread is better than the actual post.
1 EichmannsCat 2018-06-15
The real drama is always in the comments.
1 A_Big_Teletubby 2018-06-15
Is this thread getting brigaded or something? Where the fuck are these boring seriousposters coming from
1 Realkers 2018-06-15
/r/twoxchromosomes lol
1 shallowm 2018-06-15
wrong
1 shallowm 2018-06-15
/r/drama has seen a recent upsurge in subscribers, so yeah, the subreddit demographics are changing.
I'm guessing that some people might've came to this thread through the "other discussions" tab though.
1 I_DRINK_TO_FORGET 2018-06-15
The absolute state of women. Lol
1 _MAGAMEMNON_ 2018-06-15
http://i.magaimg.net/img/3jmc.jpg
1 I_DRINK_TO_FORGET 2018-06-15
I can only assume she apologized for her white privilege having offended the man later on twitter.
1 lol_te_gusto 2018-06-15
Ah there's an internet game I play, spot the Narcissist, seems like this guy was. Exhibiting common traits such as:
https://psychcentral.com/disorders/narcissistic-personality-disorder/
1 shannon9473 2018-06-15
Welp, now he’s married to Lynda Hearst and she’s wayy cuter anyhow.
1 sh0t 2018-06-15
Damn.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fmAI1YZR_jA
1 alphetasauce 2018-06-15
u/wil Do you have anything to say in defense of you college roommate and best friend?
1 MooseHeckler 2018-06-15
Add him to the list.
1 bluebelltexas 2018-06-15
She should have left. Pure and simple.
At some point you gotta get up the guts to decide whether your life is going to be about pleasing somebody who treats you like shit. As someone (a whaman, in fact) who has had to make that choice, I really wish somebody had been willing to give it to me straight at the time, instead of all the fancy bullshit about “it’s not your fault and staying is understandable and not something you should be blamed for.” Fuck yeah it is.
He is undoubtedly a selfish dick. But she sounds like a really shitty person as well.
She’s airing dirty laundry that doesn’t contain allegations of criminal conduct, about someone so easy to identify even if she doesn’t state his name, years after the fact and only when it’s culturally relevant because of that stupid metoo movement? Man, fuck this girl.
1 gabalabarabataba 2018-06-15
Right. She should have left. I think she would tell you the same thing in hindsight. We all make mistakes. She was young, weak and star struck.
What about her makes you hate her so much? I don't understand. Is it somehow not okay for her to talk about her past experience with this guy who is, as you put it, obviously a selfish dick. It's not like she's taking him to court, she's just saying: "This guy you think you know is an asshole who was bad to me."
I also think people are coming out now because the metoo movement have made them realize how they are not alone. This isn't some macro level conspiracy, it's an unearthing of something that has always been there.
1 whoswhoofrudds 2018-06-15
She accused an innocent person of sexual assault? That would actually be illegal if it were credible, but because even she admits it was consensual it's just her being a shit person.
She also claims she stopped talking to her best friend because her boyfriend told her to. Generally seen as a dick move.
1 gabalabarabataba 2018-06-15
She's not taking him to court, there is no legal accusation. She's just saying "I had this really shitty experience with this person who people look up to, they probably shouldn't."
As for the part where she stopped talking to her best friend... It's a common thing for controlling partners to isolate their significant others from their support systems. I mean, yeah, I guess you could argue that was a dick move on her part but doesn't it pale in comparison to what a massive pile of shit he seems to be?
1 whoswhoofrudds 2018-06-15
but Chris Hardwick was recovering from the abuse by his controlling stage-mother or something how can you sit there and act like he was an abuser when the things that messed him up were way worse than any of this for sure
1 gabalabarabataba 2018-06-15
Abusers are usually abused themselves. I didn't know about that, that sucks.
But, ultimately, having a shitty past doesn't absolve someone of their shitty actions, right?
1 whoswhoofrudds 2018-06-15
but you're wondering why people don't like this girl =o
1 bluebelltexas 2018-06-15
Actually, unless she’s taking him to court for actual illegal behavior, then airing their dirty laundry is just vindictive, spiteful and stupid. There’s no excuse for what he did; but that doesn’t make it right for her to talk about how he was in private, sexually, with her, to the literal entire world. Two wrongs don’t make a right. They just make both him and her into shitty, shitty people.
I don’t know man, I just think it’s not a good thing to do. I think it’s dangerous that if somebody did something to you that you didn’t like, it’s acceptable to publish sexual, personal, intimate details about them. I get she was upset, but girl needs to grow up and accept responsibility for herself, not try and get revenge by turning the world against an ex she should’ve written off the literal day he told her his first ridiculous “rule.”
1 gabalabarabataba 2018-06-15
Interesting because I felt that way about the Aziz Ansari "scandal" but this feels more insidious than that.
There's a reason why people go into abusive relationships or people sign up into MLM cults. Are they weak? Stupid? Perhaps. But to me there's a clear demarcation between who is the victim and who is the perpetrator here.
I think people like her need to speak out so other people in similar relationships don't feel alone and locked into them. To me, what she's doing is not vindictive and/or spiteful, it's her telling other people that she made a mistake and hopes they will not make the same error.
I mean, if a person was raped in a relationship, didn't report it because she (or he) was afraid or wasn't sure it was rape, then, after the break up, decided to write a twitter post about it... Do you think that's out of line? Do you think this person should be silent? Because I think what she's doing is a version of that.
1 bluebelltexas 2018-06-15
I didn’t read her that way at all - she includes so many details about the person that are beyond just their treatment of her that I think to me it’s clear she is trying to get back at this particular person, not let others into her thought process on being in a bad relationship and how not to feel alone. His age, relationship to her industry, specifics about situations that make him easily identifiable. She didn’t have to do that.
I know how people get into bad situations, and that it can happen to anybody. I’ve been in an abusive relationship and learned the hard way that it’s up to me to take care of myself and not continue to allow someone who treats me badly to do so. That’s something a lot of people learn - I think it’s necessary for everybody to learn it in some form, to grow up into a mature adult - from a lot of different situations, and it doesn’t require exacting very public revenge on somebody who was rotten to you.
I don’t think she was abused. She doesn’t allege anything that meets the definition of abuse under the law. She hasn’t filed charges or a suit against him. So no, I don’t think it’s justified for her to publish all this about him publicly because he didn’t abuse her and she’s not taking him to court. He was really rotten and shitty to her, but that’s not enough for me to public humiliation is warranted.
As for your example, no I don’t think you should publicly accuse someone without evidence of rape, on Twitter. I think it’s slanderous and not the right way to do things at all. I think if you think it was rape, whether you’re sure or not, go to the police and talk to a detective. They’ll tell you your options and whether you were raped or not, and probably direct you to further support resources, people you can share your story with and who can help you figure out what to do, how to get to a good emotional place, how to protect yourself.
If you want to speak publicly about being raped or abused (which, again, as I’ve said, what the article describes is NOT abuse), it’s very important not to accuse specific people with unproven allegations or without evidence. Because it can ruin their lives, it’s slanderous, and it can just as easily be made up as it can be true if we don’t require substantiation.
1 gabalabarabataba 2018-06-15
Alright, that's fair. I understand where you're coming from.
I think these kinds of stories are important in making sure other people who are in rotten relationships realize what they have is not normal and that's why the #metoo movement is important. To me, that supersedes the possible public humiliation caused by a situation like this. It could be unfair at times but it's (and, again, this is my opinion, I'm not saying this is an objectively quantifiable thing) minuscule compared to the harm it might stop in the long run.
And I'm sorry you were in an abusive relationship. I hope you're in a better place.
1 the_psycho_watch 2018-06-15
456 comments (436 new)
Wew lad
1 CHAD_THUNDERCUCK 2018-06-15
just a matter of time before the other numale feminists like /u/grovergrover get metoo'd
1 sk33tasaurus 2018-06-15
the white women tears will get you lynched erry time fam
1 sh0t 2018-06-15
facts
1 Plague-Lord 2018-06-15
Sounds like a dumb gold digging THOT who wants a side of attention to go with her daddy issues. She couldve ended it at any time if it was this "hell" she now claims it to be.
1 Guildensternenstein 2018-06-15
The comments in this post could themselves be an /r/drama post, Jesus Christ.
1 Awayfone 2018-06-15
Give it time
1 marine205 2018-06-15
You can't let someone sexually assault you as it says in the article
1 _MAGAMEMNON_ 2018-06-15
The media is not sending their best!
They're male feminists, and some, I assume, are nice people.
1 _MAGAMEMNON_ 2018-06-15
I would post a link to her nude photos at the thefappeningblog, but it turns out she is a ginger and I don't want to make anyone vomit.
1 Burnnoticelover 2018-06-15
This is totally unrelated, but I bet she got mercilessly mocked in high school for having “dyke” in her name.
1 justinforjustice 2018-06-15
https://youtu.be/2Od6vsA2fJI My take on the situation
1 neutralvoter 2018-06-15
I'm confused I read the whole thing and couldn't find the part where he held a gun to her head. I'm strong just don't expect me to have a backbone...
1 neutralvoter 2018-06-15
All I got from this is that someone stayed in a shit relationship for too long because they were self professed weak and depressed. I'm missing what part deserves the accolades its getting. Plus, I'm sure this in no way biases events because who would do that.
1 Bloocrusader 2018-06-15
Roastie makes one terrible decision after another and I'm supposed to feel bad?
1 akuakud 2018-06-15
She said he started this behavior within weeks of their relationship...... so why did she stay with him for a month let alone 3 years if he was so awful?
1 orubyqncnyrubefr 2018-06-15
damn she fine
1 Bronafide 2018-06-15
694 comments aint noboy got time for that
1 agovinoveritas 2018-06-15
So two immature people got into a toxic relationship that should mot have started. One is a power freak, borderline abuser, the other one lacked the will and control in her life to leave him. Most people are not as ready to be in a relationship or are terrible judges of character. She should have left the moment the 'rules' appeared.
1 blocksyourpath2 2018-06-15
u/wil, thoughts?
1 joey_bosas_ankles 2018-06-15
3 Thoughts:
1) Lots of lulz-grade-irony in his holier-than-thou moralizing 2) Chloe Dykstra is an entirely talentless bint 3) Chris Hardwick is married to the heiress to the Hearst fortune. (a.k.a. insane fuck-you levels of wealth)
1 VioletBroregarde 2018-06-15
http://resettheclock.net
1 massquared 2018-06-15
Well, he has been accused. When do we murder him? Isn't that how this goes? Unfortunate for him to be kind of famous. Otherwise she may have just chalked another one up under the "shitty boyfriend" header on her score sheet and went about her life. I guess I'll retreat into my cave and continue watching the world burn.
1 matrix2002 2018-06-15
This post is very complicated. She posts some damaging shit on him, if true.
However, she kind of says she consented to the sex, so I don't think that is actually assault.
And I hate it when people post about their shitty ass relationships that had a MILLION red flags, then act like they are 100% the victim.
I don't get how people (men and women) complain about how shitty their significant other is, then don't do anything about it.
I guess it's hard for me to see how you could choose to be in an abusive relationship. My threshold for bullshit is really short.
I would have been done with that relationship before it even started.
I have broken up with plenty of crazy girls before it got serious because they were fucking crazy.
Is it wrong to say that at least some of blame is on her for staying in such a shitty relationship?
1 Wifiscifi 2018-06-15
CHOLE DYKSTRA AND HER POSSE JUST HAN AN ULTERIOR MOTIVE, SHE’S ALL LIES😡
1 jbell0385 2018-06-15
Look...
Is Chris a dick boyfriend? Sure... I guess.
But:
If a woman can't take responsibility and leave the relationship under these zero baggage conditions, then we're doomed as a species.
I hope Chloe gets the real help she needs. The jailer isn't Chris Hardwick. She was probably unhappy before Chris, with Chris, and now she's unhappy 3 years after Chris. Her mind is her own prison. Three years after destroying him, she's still going to be miserable. I hope she gets a therapist that challenges the dark thoughts of her mind and doesn't just confirmation bias her.
1 Herknificent 2018-06-15
If she has proof then she should just release it and clear everything up. If you make claim such as this one, one that could ruin a persons career and life, you should back it up with proof. Until then how can any self respecting person pick one side or the other?
1 dragonlip90 2018-06-15
Chloe was a nobody when she started dated Hardwick - a cosplay model! Hardwick was into hanging out with her in bed and playing geeky roleplaying (I mean, look at Chloe's lips...), but she's an idiot and was not marriage material. She's bitter he proposed to Hearst months after Hardwick dumped Chloe and started dating Lydia. Hearst is old money and hot. Chloe is just a whiny, psychotic woman who acts like an idiot child. She agreed to the whole relationship and is haunted by what could have happened. What the fuck did Chloe even do before Hardwick? She claims blacklisted her, but I think she was just a crappy actress. She should have just kept dressing up like Lara Croft. This #metoo movement is ridiculous now. I believe about 20% of people now. Stop blaming others for your shitty career.