I can take a 9-inch dildo up my butt, because I'm an adult and I solve my own problems

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I've seen pics of u/Pizzashill and they are actually a teenage girl living in Tibet.

Free Pizzashill

After yesterday's scandal, I'm not convinced at all anymore.

He likes attention.

Me and Pizza go way back, and I can confirm he's real. Back in 2002 we were living it up in Bali. Since I had recently inherited a large amount of money, every night was a whirlwind of hookers, blow, crack, heroin and pretty much every other drug imaginable. Everything was perfect for a while, until.....the accident happened.

Pizza was into cock and ball torture at the time and he was strapped to a table, a 17 year old Taiwanese hooker alternating between slapping his nuts with a belt and biting the tip of his cock. The hooker suddenly started to climb up on the table, which I barely noticed through the opiate-induced haze I was in at the time.

I saw what she was up to a moment too late, and was unable to warn poor Pizzashill in time. The hooker began to stomp up and down Pizza's cock with her 7 inch stripper heels, sending spurts of blood flying through the air in all directions. Apparently he'd neglected to pay her for the past several days and she waited until he was immobilized on his bondage table to enact her revenge. I leapt to my feet and stumbled towards them, tackling the slant-eyed creature and throwing her out of the 10th story window of our hotel. Her screams lasted only an instant before they were swallowed by the wind.

Unfortunately the damage had already been done. Pizzashill's cock was hopelessly mangled, looking like a large serving of bbq pulled pork that had been pulverized with a sledgehammer. Ever since that horrible night, Pizza has posessed a crippling, deep-seated fear of women and Conservatives (the Taiwanese whore was a registered Republican).

This is so sad. Poor pizza.

Can we hit 50 Pay Respects

This puts it all in perspective. Thank you.

Press F to pay respect to pizzashill's cock.

Poor /u/pizzashill, that Thailand stripper damaged his testes to the point where he couldn't reproduce

I am unironically working on a dossier on him to expose exactly this.

Stay tuned.

Tell us the time frame you dip.

Fuck you is the timeframe

Shared account is my thoughts.

If we were able to take as the finest allegory of simulation the Borges tale where the cartographers of the Empire draw up a map so detailed that it ends up exactly covering the territory (but where, with the decline of the Empire this map becomes frayed and finally ruined, a few shreds still discernible in the deserts - the metaphysical beauty of this ruined abstraction, bearing witness to an imperial pride and rotting like a carcass, returning to the substance of the soil, rather as an aging double ends up being confused with the real thing), this fable would then have come full circle for us, and now has nothing but the discrete charm of second-order simulacra.

Abstraction today is no longer that of the map, the double, the mirror or the concept. Simulation is no longer that of a territory, a referential being or a substance. It is the generation by models of a real without origin or reality: a hyperreal. The territory no longer precedes the map, nor survives it. Henceforth, it is the map that precedes the territory - precession of simulacra - it is the map that engenders the territory and if we were to revive the fable today, it would be the territory whose shreds are slowly rotting across the map. It is the real, and not the map, whose vestiges subsist here and there, in the deserts which are no longer those of the Empire, but our own. The desert of the real itself.

[..]

So it is with simulation, insofar as it is opposed to representation. Representation starts from the principle that the sign and the real are equivalent (even if this equivalence is Utopian, it is a fundamental axiom). Conversely, simulation starts from the Utopia of this principle of equivalence, from the radical negation of the sign as value, from the sign as reversion and death sentence of every reference. Whereas representation tries to absorb simulation by interpreting it as false representation, simulation envelops the whole edifice of representation as itself a simulacrum.

These would be the successive phases of the image:

1. It is the reflection of a basic reality.

2. It masks and perverts a basic reality.

3. It masks the absence of a basic reality.

4. It bears no relation to any reality whatever: it is its own pure simulacrum.

In the first case, the image is a good appearance: the representation is of the order of sacrament. In the second, it is an evil appearance: of the order of malefice. In the third, it plays at being an appearance: it is of the order of sorcery. In the fourth, it is no longer in the order of appearance at all, but of simulation.

The transition from signs which dissimulate something to signs which dissimulate that there is nothing, marks the decisive turning point. The first implies a theology of truth and secrecy (to which the notion of ideology still belongs). The second inaugurates an age of simulacra and simulation, in which there is no longer any God to recognize his own, nor any last judgment to separate truth from false, the real from its artificial resurrection, since everything is already dead and risen in advance.

http://faculty.georgetown.edu/irvinem/theory/Baudrillard_Simulacra_and_Simulations.html

The reality is the territory, the systems of words we use to describe the reality is the map.

The first stage of w👁ke is to recognize that the map is different from the territory, for example because drawing a penis on the map doesn't cause a penis to appear in reality.

This however describes advanced stages of w👁ke, where you realize that our problems are not only because we are bad at making accurate maps, and not only because people keep confusing maps for the territory and draw dicks on them in hopes of getting dicked, but also that there's an hierarchy of subversion of the map-territory correspondence itself.

Like, some people purposefully change stuff on the map to mislead other people. Like "racism = power + prejudice" for example.

And some people purposefully add stuff to the map that doesn't have anything IRL at all. Like the moral panic about the misogyny in programming.

But the top tier perversion is creating a brouhaha out of nothing whatsoever, disconnected from the reality entirely. Baudrillard's examples are a bit too w👁ke for me, so here's mine: gamergate. You see, gamers don't really exist. It's not a real community, it can't pass and enforce laws outlawing some behavior, it's not a coherent group of people, nothing at all like that.

And yet the rallying cry "DAE Gamers are misogynistic" created a conflict with two parties, really really invested people, its own mythology even.

And it's persistent, it's sticky in a mental sense, like if I ask you, how is gamergate relevant to whether I should go for Power Threads or Magic Wand as Venge, you'd feel as if I'm being a smartass derailing the discussion.

Gamergate is irrelevant to any actual question about gaming, this is a fact, but it created its own reality where it is relevant, very relevant to everything you say on twitter, and that's supposedly a reality above the reality where the item builds for Venge exist.

Internet was a mistake, Baudrillard saw that in the 70s with the globalization of information. We are not ready.

I'm drunk and you tricked me into sperging out :(

Like real as in existing or he's real real, son?

😴😴😴

Why would someone who clearly despises this website and the majority of its people spend so much time on it arguing with them

Dude are you new here?

I think he's "real" in the sense of being an actual human, or at least a reasonable facsimile thereof. Does he actually believe the bullshit he spews about "foids" or whatever? Fuck if I know.

Fucking aids man. I'm sick of this shit, femtards are the new jew. They'll stab you in the fact then play the victim.

Lolis are for headpats and feed them healthy food, not for lewd.

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Nature abhors a vacuum. Some poor soul had to be sucked into the mold of P_K once he left, pizzashill was the sacrificial lamb doomed to spend his days seriousposting on /r/Drama. Still a better fate than OP.