They would make excellent guard-dogs I am sure, although there is a chance of them mistaking the baby next door for a burrito or whatever.

Also imagine them keeping you warm at night by lying on top of you. I bet that would be a nice experience. I don't care that they weigh 800 pounds. And smell like the anal glands of Hades.

Yeah I know bears are not cuddly and friendly AT ALL but surely since I am a nature god and long-time PETA fool who only eats granola they will understand me and not violently murder people on a whim.

America is a free country is it not? We should be able to own pet bears like we own guns!

How would one even find the money to compensate anybody suing you for physical harm or destruction caused by a grizzly bear anyways?