u/justcool393 told me my ban would be over if I posted my family drama, so now you all must suffer.

So here’s a bit of context for the story. My grandfather and grandmother had 3 children: my mother, my aunt, and my uncle. After this he let his friend couch surf basically, and promptly began banging his wife. My grandfather only found out because his wife garnered a ticket during one of her dates and decided to hide it, leading to him eventually being arrested and learning the hard way about his wife's infidelity. At this point they basically ran off with the kids and had three more, my mother's half siblings. I will refer to them as the half bloods for simplicity's sake, as they are all fucking nuts.

The stepfather was incredibly abusive to my mother and her full blooded siblings, although they managed to come out of it well enough. My mother is a bit of a control freak, the uncle is a scientologist, and the aunt has the personality of a nervous chihuahua. However they manage to make it work and operate well in polite society. The half bloods, meanwhile, inherited whatever was going on with the stepfather and are all diagnosed with some sort of mental illness. Half blood aunt #2 actually told me that their father was descended from the Scots Guards and inbreeding was involved. I have no idea how true this was, however it would explain a lot as there is clearly some level of genetic insanity going on there. Half blood aunt #2 picked a fight on an airplane over a restroom and ended up in a fistfight with the police once she landed for instance, or the half blood uncle started screaming at everyone because we interrupted his very personal talk with Jesus. Half blood aunt #1, meanwhile, was simply a paranoid schizophrenic. My parents still cut off contact with her, but 20+ years later she was diagnosed with chemo so my mother forced us to let her back in. She was apparently very upset I was no longer a 4 year old, and she was also very very fat. Approximately 500 pounds, basically crawling up the stairs. This will play into many other insecurities later, as I could not invite anyone over without her thinking they were invited solely to watch and make fun of her.

The entire time, her paranoia ran rampant while she consumed all of her alcohol and accused us all of hating her. I bit my tongue because these accusations were not entirely without merit because I didn't really consider her family, and she was incredibly obnoxious. Apparently one time while I was out during a late lab she stole my father’s bottle of Bacardi and ended up screaming and thrashing around in our driveway. She then went away back to her homestate and I counted my blessings. Then my mother told me she was coming back a month later. I was trying very carefully to choose my words because after all, she was supposed to be dying. However I noticed this had been going on for a very long time now and nothing was happening, when my mother told me she would likely be passing away in our guestroom.

Anyways, I found out the chemo was actually done with and she decided to tell neither my father or I until I asked what we were going to do with the inevitable 500 pound corpse. At that point she had decided to start making herself much more comfortable, and became extremely more obnoxious. Some notable examples where that she bled period blood all over the couch and decided to never clean it up, or that she would sit on our furniture in only some oversized moo-moo without underwear. I’m unsure if the fat prevented her genitals from actually touching anything, but I had it all sanitized to be safe.

Anyways, as frustrating as all of this was, I was biting my tongue for my mother's sake. I knew this was complicated for her, because she remembered her from a time when she was apparently only slightly batshit insane. However, my friends moving date was approaching; she was moving to an out of state college. As a sort of send off present because of how important her nieces were to her, we decided to launch some bottle rockets. My aunt however decided I had invited them all over solely to make fun of her. So while the children were setting up the fins for their rocket she was acting incredibly snarky towards all of them, despite their efforts to get along. Afterwards we went outside and I was setting up the air compressor for the launcher that had been built and she started yelling at me about how “of course I only invited people over to laugh at her”. At some point she started directing the hostilities less towards me, and more towards my friend and her nieces. At this point I basically lost it and started yelling at her, saying maybe a third of the things I thought of her.

At that point, rather than stay there with her going ballistic, we took the kids out for ice cream, and during this period she packed her things and left. My mother at this point realized a line had probably already been crossed somewhere, and my father was thankful someone had finally gotten rid of her. However then she began harassing my friend on facebook, first sending stuff such as this.

https://i.imgur.com/l3xzdJq.png

Some things to note here *The idea that my mother would cut her off rather than slap me down if she felt I was at fault here is hilarious if you knew anything about us. *My families background is very low rent, as I’ve already described here. On top of that the aunt in question is homeless half the time, which is why we let her in during chemo. So aside from the fact it’s pathetic she tried to attack her for having shitty parents, it's incredibly hypocritical. *The nieces don’t even have phones to videotape her. This is something she entirely conjured up in her head, aside from the fact it wouldn't be illegal to videotape her on our property.

Then she made a second facebook account to message my friend again after she was blocked. https://i.imgur.com/JU3f6Wz.png https://i.imgur.com/DVsRJi0.png https://i.imgur.com/5gQuIJQ.png

Some more highlights -She’s really convinced my friend is not actually going to out of state college and this is all sort of some 4d chess maneuver. I’m not really sure why. -I apparently want to kill all of the Jews. That would be a bad move as I really dig humus. -Apparently the friend trying to get us to walk away was actually a sex thing. Sexy sex sex thing.

Also I really dig the part where she said the dog should be euthanized like her.