I can take a 9-inch dildo up my butt, because I'm an adult and I solve my own problems

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It is vital that this happens.

Remember that time he killed his neighbor for poisoning his dogs, then ran into a jungle compound protected by mercenaries with his harem?

Why is this man not president already? Why are we fucking around?

unironically my ideal kind of life

Honestly that's how life should be and would be without this boring civilization all around it.

Shouldn't have broke the NAP

I am so fucking hard rn

I'm dripping

https://media.giphy.com/media/ToMjGpKniGqRNLGBrhu/giphy.gif

...But less so.

Omg check out that twitter feed, god I love this man.

He's basically like if research chemicals were a person.

😭😭😭

Guy is the best kind of crazy millionaire.

still the greatest thing anyone has ever put on the internet. to this day I have absolutely no fucking clue how crazy this dude really is.

I especially love how he seems to have just recruited all the whores from whatever dive strip club he hangs out at.

Regular thanks to:

Portland's Club Exotica for providing technical talent.

Special thanks to Jokerface for providing discipline for the technical personelle.

No one should have to use Xhamster.