The only time I've ever given a shit about the nuances of f*male anatomy is when I was doing a hard guro/vore RP where I needed to remember how to spell the parts of her reproductive system that my character was eating.

Snapshots:

1. This Post - archive.org, megalodon.jp, archive.is

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When I first read about that guy who got his balls torn off by his bulldog my first thought was that catfags don't do this

Yeah, cats usually go after bigger targets, like flies and insects.

Virgin Dog

>Must be kept on a leash to not bother other people

>Basically a wolf with Stockholm Syndrome, bred for 1000's of years for human enslavement

>Will kill your toddler if you don't pay attention

>Can't function by it's own

Chad Cat

>Can roam freely without causing issues

>Gives zero fucks what you think

>Doesn't piss and shit all over the place

>Can function completely independently of humans

Doesn't piss and shit all over the place

Untrue

getting shit cucked by a cat

😂

Clean the fucking litterbox once in a while, jesus.

Roommate in college. The kitty shit was not the biggest problem we had.

without causing issues

This post by maoist gang

Meowist gang*

I hate myself

The Chinese word for cat is actually Mao because that's the noise they make. Isn't that adorable?

>Doesn't piss and shit all over the place

:D

VS The Thad Guinea Pig

VS THE WIZARD ROCK WITH GOOGLY EYES

Virgin Dog

>literally a slave in rural households, no better than a farm animal

>cant climb trees

>separation anxiety if you dont constantly pay attention to them

>Purebreds are inbred mutants with back problems and can barely breathe

>Require you to beat it in order to get it to behave

>Basically like raising a child that never gets mentally above a 3 year old

>Eats poop and puke

Chad Feline

>Larger species will absolutely wreck any canine

>purring proven to have healing properties

>Independent, bows to no man

>Worshipped by Egyptians

>Can provably traverse outer dimensions when youre not looking

>Zero fall damage

>Hidden genius intellect and asserts dominance by leaving corpses at your doorstep

>Never truly domesticated. Really just domesticated humans.

Require you to beat it in order to get it to behave

About once a year my cat attacks me and I gotta show him that dude, I could kill you with one hand. He's perfectly sweet the rest of the time.

Unless this is in picture form, IT DOESNT COUNT

Can roam around freely without causing issues

Except upending entire ecosystems.

Doesn't piss and shit all over the place

Only in a very specific open place that stinks, and they don't even cover it up like dogs do.

Is having cats the ultimate cuckoldry?

I cannot think or comprehend of anything more cucked than having a cat. Honestly, think about it rationally. You are feeding, petting, grooming and rearing a cat for around 14 years solely so it can go ignore you half the time and scratch shit up. All the hard work you put into your beautiful little kitty- petting it , buying it toys, making sure it had a healthy diet, playing with it. All of it has one simple result: it can mooch off you and ignore you at its will.

Raised the perfect cat? Great. Who benefits? The cat. It gets to fuck around and relax. It gets the benefits of the kind and sweet personality that came its way you raised it.

As a man who has a cat, you are LITERALLY dedicating around 14 years of your life simply to raise a cat so it can just mooch off you and ignore you. It is the ULTIMATE AND FINAL cuck. Think about it logically

This, but without a single hint of irony.

Keep yourself safe

Is noot!

​

I have 9 cats and the voices in the walls say I'm the best ever!

Dogs can scratch shit up too though.

Only reason I won't be getting pets, oh and the costs.

It's why lizards are the superios pets, plus the larger monitors are basically 🦕 dinosaurs 🦕.

Those are just like cats but if cats have black sinner souls lizards don't have any. It's like having a pet rock that twitches and looks mentally disabled. Lizardfags are the real mentally ill guys.

You are now on my hit list, bitch! Prepare yourself for consumption

no u

n^o ^ ^u

Dinosaurs 🦖 are cool 😎

You will be food for a dinosaur 🦖

Plasma Fold > Death

Dude bussy lmao

wrong, chickens are the real dinosaur descendants, and hipsters keep them in their backyards and send them off to "the farm" when they stop laying eggs

/u/cdace your gods go in the crockpot when they're old

I almost got mad then I looked at your username and realized this is an ironic shitpost

Is this shill bot?

I really liked this pasta when it was the "raising a daughter" version. Top tier.

Get rid of the cuck shit and this is just facts

that's a racoon!

Shut up, dogs are based. I hate pit bulls though

For real, though, why would you get a pet who doesn’t give a shit about you

https://youtu.be/HZ2L8xLmwdo

Virgin orange cat = libtards Chad megatroll dog = actual BEN SHAPIRO

checkmate communists 😎

this is literally true

Cat: ............ Dog: BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK

CAT: Vroom! Vroom! Beep! Beep! Beep!

Kat Williams: HAAAAAAA WOOOO YEAHHHHH BOIIIIII

all pit bulls need to be euthanized

Make shelters legally liable if the dogs they adopt out make a snack out of someone's face. They would make the euthanasia store sell out in a heartbeat.

So do you, but that's illegal.

🐈=🗑️

Both of these are faces I make when I shit.

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I’m no doctor, I just play as one on the internet... but... uh... you might want to get one of those checked out

Does anyone really like cats? Having a cat is like owning a bird or a snake, they rely on you for food and you can pet them only if they want you to. Besides that you just get to look at them as they grow older and cost more money. At that point, get a plant so you don’t need a pet sitter.

Would your cat take a bullet for you? Call 911 for you? Get dinner for you? Lick your peanut butter for you? Act as a fill in for a child to convince your wife that kids are not right for both of you? Nah, but it’ll sure as shit steal your food, cough up hairballs and stink up any room it’s box is in.

I fucking love my cat, but he was literally nursed off of a dog and raised by dogs, so he's basically a dog with shitti manners

Well from a pet perspective what you have there can be classified as a small dog. Problem is from where I stand they are essentially cats (if you have to worry about a fucking 🦉 carrying your dog away, you’ve got a shit dog)

Glad you love your pet though, can’t wait until my lifestyle is slow enough to have one again.

kitti iz fuzzy

meow

My cat would lick anything that I offered her as food just to be polite, then decline and go eat her cat food. She was the most classy individual I will ever meet in my life.

Lick your peanut butter for you?

This is the type of disgusting fetishist that owns a (((dog))) 🤮🤮🤮🤮

I've met some very sweet cats that don't fit that cunt cat stereotype. only type I'd take. I'm not a fan of the weird cat ladies who are cool with their cat(s) attacking them and thinking it's just a cute personality quirk. Nah, that's a defective cat.

The best part is when people who've never had a pitbull (or dog) make assumptions based off things they've read in some shitty tabloid.

agendaposting about pets of all things

Insert a big black umbra the overlord of underworld's penis' real life 1:1 model directly inside your juicy rectum and make anime noises.

I'm frustrated at myself because I fucked up today. Tell me it's gonna be alright please.

And that's why you're stuck with a little vomit monster

I've gotta admit, cats can be very cute

https://youtu.be/H0e5eiiHzmc

Look at this fucking moffo

You strike me as an mdefugee, so please do the right thing.

God damn I hate cats so fucking much.

If there was a button I could press that would just remove all the cats from the world, but the price was that everyone would know I was the one that pressed it, I'd still smash that thing. I'd be forever known as the guy that killed all the cats, and I'd be murdered within a day or two for absolute certain by someone that was violently enraged as if I had killed one of their family members. But all the cats would be gone, so who's the real winner here? Me. And everyone else, because they'd be living in a world without cats.

You're welcome.

Cool story bro.

hecka

Mfw someone hates cats.

Imagine being you. Its the worst fate imaginable.

Anthony Burch exists

Checkmate, loser.

How about just murdering all the stray and feral cats? That sounds better.

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I'd take 20 dog bites before I took a single cat bite.

I've had dozens of each. Cat bites suck ass.

Youve never had a real dog bite. If a dog really attacks youll either be dead or need facial reconstruction surgery depending on its size. Chihuahuas dont count because theyre genetically closer to rats

I've spent 10 years in animal control, and racked up bites from over 10 separate dogs (not including small breeds, nobody counts those), two of which nicked a tendon.

Yet still, dog bites heal pretty quickly. Cats bites invariably cause surprisingly bad infections, 3 incidence in my own experience rendered my favorite hand unusable for over a week.

Cats even stole your power to jerk off? Damn, they really are powerful.

Yes they did.

They'll do it to you, too. They have no morals.

I wouldn't hesitate to put my (future) cat down if it bit me and that led to an infection. Fuck that.

Lol. What a bitch you are.

I'd put my dog down if she bit me or anyone else too?

Have you only been bitten by passage pissers like chihuahuas or something? I remember having to take a shovel to a rotty to get it off a mate one time.

I don't count small dog bites. I've been bitten by something like 10 large dogs, ranging from 50 to 100. One was a card-carrying wolf hybrid, though that was was very clearly my fault. Pulled his food bowl before he was on the other side of the run, got 38 punctures in my hand.

90% of cats are brain dead.

This is a personal attack.

And yet hugely justified

Fucking hell. More catfags. Get off my sub.

Cats don't ... destroy the furniture.

Lol no

Ur mom gay

I guess we know the truth now. Cats and their owners are just big bullies.

No! Bad bully!

😭😭😭

😭😭😭