The only point you'll ever have is that you represent the sad, fedora-wearing, bloated face of capitalism in the 21st century.

Unfairly made famous and rich through copied ideas and appealing to kids. And yet is driven by some bizarre need for attention to spout insane, teenage edge lord style views. You are clearly not all that up on politics (or anything, maybe you can code?) yet your wealth has given you an oversized platform of confused 12 to 16 year olds to yell "sjwjjwjwj" at over and over again.

Honestly, I don't give a shit if you've been driven mad by fame or some bullshit. When I see amazing creative people dying depressed in poverty every day and you get to sit on twitter and make half assed 'now yur the nazi' comments, it's fucking sickening.

Snapshots:

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Using biblical stories to blame men

Imagine being this desperate 🤣🤣🤣

It's over for INRIcels

It's been over for Christcucks ever since Islam has been a thing.

Using biblical stories to own the womez for +2000 years

But the bibble says to protect and honor your femoid

ok im atheist now

As the weaker vessel, b. "Carefully, carefully, with the plates."

Both are dumb as shit

women have adam's apples too lmao these thots can't basic biology

"women"

I got news for you my friend. If your date has a prominent larynx, better get ready for a little something extra in your stocking come Christmas.

hell yeah 🤤

It's over for paradise-cels

Peak women comedy

lol nigga the adam's apple is in man's throat because that's where most of it was when god caught them munchin

Eve had snarfed hers down already

i just wanted to share that some transgenders call their adam's apples "eve's apples"

This is very unsettling.

Not as unsettling as 'lady noodles'.

Please stop.

🤤

Testicles are also known as pussy walnuts. True story.

Wow the bible is kinda crazy. So the tower was supposed to reach god in the sky, because that is where heaven is ? What about planes and space ships? Or has heaven relocated?

Stupid bronzeagecels. Don't they know anything about the atmosphere?

The point of that sequence was that God didn't want people clumped up in Mesopotamia, and instead widely distributed across the planet. There was no context regarding whether or not they would even get close to reach heaven, just that they tried.

Also, that in trying and thinking that they could just get up to god, was super insulting, so god put them in their place. If that was the case though, he should have just let them keep building til that shit fell over. Come on god, get with it.

The tower of bable was a throne, not a tower smh.

I can't really blame them for that (assuming you're correct). I was taught it was tower as well.

it's a story about arrogance and narcissism. you cant possibly expect foids to get it

They referred to what we would call the atmosphere "the first heavens". Although they had a wacky cosmogony, these were not stupid people.

Peak women comedy

No u

Laughtrack.mp3

Like God lies to them and tells them they'll die if they eat the apple and the snakes like: no eve. he's a lying sack of shit because he's afraid of your potential. Eat it and you'll be like god.

What a fucking retarded interpretation of the Adam and Eve story. The entire point is that God gave them everything, and said that they weren't allowed to do just one fucking thing. So long as they did not eat the fruit, they were permitted to do whatever they wanted. Just to make the point extra clear, God said that if you eat the fruit, you will die.

But Eve decides to toss the earthly paradise away just to transgress. When Adam sees her alive, he decides to eat too because God was obviously lying. So then God comes down and kicks them out of Eden, and takes away their immortality so that they will die. Since they disobeyed him on this one thing, he decides that they need to follow a shitton of rules that he won't even give them in written form for thousands of years.

interpreting Genesis as a fable rather than as a symbolic/esoteric text

This is only slightly better than the dumb joke you quoted

Snallygaster is a christian furry ?!

My entire life up until now was a lie !

And on the 7th day God said yiff.

Do you even know what "fable" means?

no

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fable_(2004_video_game)

It was ok.

Fables aren't symbolic apparently

Just lol at snallycels

What's the symbolism?

You can't do good if you don't know how to do bad. We went from dumb beasts just doing what God ordained to free souls capable of shaping their own destiny.

So hilariously trollx misses the point that eve gave humanity the gift of free will and argues we should've kept shitting down our own legs in-between all the rape.

But isn't the entire point of Abrahamic religions doing exactly what God ordained? Isn't the entire reason there are such vivid descriptions of hell that people will be deathly afraid to 'sin'. The Abrahamic ethos really isn't too permissive of human will, so that interpretation doesn't seem likely to have been the authors intended interpretation.

Your conception of hell is stupid pop culture nonsense that came way later.

It's about having a personal relationship with god, which you can't do unless you choose to accept him. Ya, you're supposed to do what he says, but the point is nothing is making you. We didn't have that choice prior because we only gained the knowledge of good and evil by trespassing against God.

I'm not a missionary, you can read the damn thing yourself and go ask a priest about it if you're really this confused, cause I'm not super interested in gotchas out of r/atheism from willful morons.

Stupid pop culture.

The Divine Comedy?

I'm not out of r/atheism, I just know devotees who have a radically different conception of God than Abrahamics. From what I've seen, Abrahamics are weirdly subservient in front of their Gods.

Literally zero priests believe the fall was the great event you're painting it as. This is an idiotic interpretation of the story that flies in the face of religious dogma for thousands of years.

Or it's copypasta. Not sure.

Here's some help:

• God created order from the primordial waters, which is an extremely common motif in creation myths
• God created Day on the first day
• God rests after creation
• breath of life (another common religious motif)
• source river isn't named or described
• obtaining knowledge of good and evil is what separates man from God

etc. I'm sure you'll continue to think that it's supposed to be interpreted as two naked people taking food from a talking snake but if you did some serious reading you could perhaps come to the obvious conclusion that it's a symbolic text.

damn is this philosophy class or somethign I can't understand this shit

i guess the best way to look at these things without reading any philosophy of religion or comparative religion or perennialism texts is to look at Genesis and compare it to the basic buddhist belief system.

ok thank u snall

His post in no way rules out also taking it symbolically you dumb cunt, you can interpret a story literally and figuratively and have them both be correct

"What's the symbolism?"

Which idiotic academic """expert""" did you steal this ill-considered hot take from?

fruit literally called "knowledge of good and evil"

must be an arbitrary fable about disobeying for no reason

imagine being this incapable of thoughtfulness

Imagine actually convincing yourself that the stories of illiterate sheepherders 3000 years ago were only meant to be comprehensible by autistic academics in 2018.

you should go punch a book, you'll feel better

It's both you fucking dipshit

Why do you think that there are two versions of the creation story in Genesis? Because the story is so good that it had to be told twice? Because God had a do-over? Like other creation myths and most creation myths in general, it's filled with symbolism that is intended to help religious adherents understand God and the nature of the universe. It has the same themes as other creation myths, e.g. the first cause creating order from the primordial waters, man becoming separated from God and residing in the material world/under the dominion of the demiurge, etc. But I'm sure that people who've spent their entire lives studying the Bible or comparative religion are not nearly as enlightened as you and your pastor at your local Reformed Evangelical Southern Baptist Prosperity Church.

interpreting Genesis as a symbolic esoteric text rather than a guide for how to ascend the lobster hierarchy

clean your room, bucko

🦀

Alternate interpretation. Adam saw his wife was going to kicked out and joined her because God also told him to do that. Either way, place two nincompoops in a box and eventually they'll do the thing you told them not to do.

God doesn't take their immortality. He kicks them out of Eden specifically so that they aren't able to gain immortality by eating from the Tree of Life as well.

"And the LORD God said, Behold, the man is become as one of us, to know good and evil: and now, lest he put forth his hand, and take also of the tree of life, and eat, and live for ever: Therefore the LORD God sent him forth from the garden of Eden, to till the ground from whence he was taken."

Genesis 3:22-23

Yeah, there were two trees. Idiots ate from the one that makes you smart before eating from the one that makes you live forever.

God said that if you eat the fruit, you will die.

And nowhere does it say (as far as I know) that they’ll die right away. So he didn’t lie, because once he made them mortal, they did die eventually.

One's Genesis, the other's Paradise Lost

If so, it commits the sin of supporting the notion Satan is meant to be the hero of Paradise Lost. Poor Milton will have his revenge one day.

God: Don’t take a shit on my bed

Eve: Shits on the bed

TXC: Yaas queen slayyy

That sub is just one big terrible hot take machine

Bible 2: Hot Take Time Machine

That is just some awful exegesis. It's like someone sat down and tried to prove you can stick your head so far up your own ass your colon looks tiny from the altitude.

These people are making inpressively hot takes for how stupid they are.

but would you do something that you know is wrong simply because someone tells you to? Of course not!

the Milgram experiment. BOOM roasted

Naturally, women cannot go a single moment without blaming men for something (especially if it's their fault).

Why did Adam eat the apple? Eve bamboozled him! Ok, buddy.

Because Eve wouldn't shut the fuck up about it. Have you never done something to pacify an outraged woman?

Adam blamed Eve, Eve blamed the snake, and the snake didn't have a leg to stand on.

I see what you did there!

I'd be embarrassed if someone didn't understand that

There's a few theories out there that the inclusion of the snake in the myth was a way to demonize the snake, which was a consort for a goddess in the Minoan society.

Believing the Minoan matriarchy bullshit in 2k18... 🙄🙄🙄

thinking that Hebrew sandpeople in the 5th century BCE had contact with reclusive islander Greekroaches whose civilization had collapsed six or seven hundred years prior.

Just looking at the punishments everyone gets! The snake and all of it’s kind are damned to crawl and eat dirt forever, Eve gets almost unbearable pain during childbirth for all women for eternity and what does Adam get? A bad wheat harvest. WOW.

He got thrown out of paradise and now has sin you dumb bitch

And also has to toilet in the fields every day for the rest of his life.

God gave us this great big apple, see, and he said dont touch it! He didn't say touch it once in while. He didn't say take a nibble when you're hungry. He said dont touch it! Dont think about touchin it. Dont sing about touchin it. Dont think about singin about touchin it!

Why is God so sexist 😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡

These people need a remedial theology course.

And Lot's wife, of course, was told not to look back where all those people and their homes had been. But she did look back, and I love her for that, because it was so human. So she was turned into a pillar of salt. So it goes.