No, not you 69big69daddy69!

😭😭😭

Badapababa I'm loving it.

be american

use reddit to escape getting shot or overdosing on burgers

get shot in the comments

burger in profile

Be american

Alarm clock shoots you at 6am, it's the start of your day

Tip the milk man a bullet, he fires it at you

Eat breakfast of frozen MacDonalds Big Mack and extra large soda

Inject insulin and hop on your mobility scooter to ride to your car

Drive to work, firing your guns at everyone not going 30 over

Get to work, coworker shooting up the workplace, everyone is clapping

Sit at your desk, time for a Burger King break

Fall asleep because your blood sugar is too low

5pm gunshot sounds off, it's time to go home

Stuck in traffic because someone was eating their MacDonalds and shooting their gun while driving and crashed on the highway

Get home and shoot the mailman for breaking into your mailbox

Sit down at the table for your 7th meal of the day

Your daily heart attack is worse than usual today so you call an ambulance

Ambulance shows up and leaves immediately because you left a bad tip last week

Decide to eat your last half dozen Big Macs before you die

You say "Greatest nation on Gods green earth" as everything goes black

>eating at the table and not on your la z boy watching the big game

Fake American detected

thinking I can get out of my rascle and lift myself into a Laz E Boy

Big lol on you, idiot

>not taking out a third mortgage to install a crane

You have not achieved The American Dream

thinking my le 56% fat by mass brain could figure out how to do that

Honestly you're pretty much a communist blocked and reported

MacDonald's and Big Mack are even more telling.

Tfw mutt gets mad at misspelled fast food

Don't disrespect our culture.

Imagine the amount of lard you have to have in your veins to get angry at misspelled fast food items.

Maybe he has a quarter pounder brain

GOD BLESS AMERICA

Alarm clock shoots you at 6am, it's the start of your day

I like this part.

Sit down at the table for your 7th meal of the day

We Hobbit now.

call an ambulance

Fake American detected. We are too poor to call one.

Calling it is free. You just have to declare bankruptcy later when the bill arrives

I should have gone to medical school and become a doctor myself. I'll probably get some discount instead of jumping through hoops like this.

Needs much more random clapping and national anthem. Freedom ain't free bucko, remember to stop and sing the anthem wherever you see the flag, even if it's right next to stripper girls on a trucker's mudflaps.

You can fuck with me, you can fuck with my family, even my friends, but NOT MY FUCKING REDDIT PROFILE PAGE!

Imagine reading yr own user profile.

If we're taking sponsorships, I'd like mine to be Maruchan's Cheese Flavored Instant Lunch Noodles™.

They're the cheesiest beat on the street®

I'll take my payments in a large bag of 5s and 10s or a case of Cheese flavor noodles

Imagine using a web browser without using an ad blocker.

👆👆👆

Another non-ad block user bites the dust.

I'm all in favour of american Redditors being labelled with a burger icon so I know to disregard their opinions.

This but unironically.

If your profile isn't marked as nsfw and non-advertiser friendly by admins already, you should be banned from /r/drama

I'm gonna find mr redit and kick his ass

Seriously. If reddit is suggesting mcdonalds for you, it's because their algorithm has determined, scientifically, that you're a hamburger. That's all.

*udder