About like 30 to 45 minutes ago I beat the fuck outta my dick so goddamn hard that I can't even feel my left leg, my left leg has went totally numb and my dick has also went totally numb to the point where it feels fucking weird when I take a piss.

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I can take a 9-inch dildo up my butt, because I'm an adult and I solve my own problems

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Most girls want ponies and shit. She asked for indoor plumbing. You dropped the ball daddy-o.