I did a research paper this summer on this subreddit and there was a published study that found that 74% of attacks on Reddit came from 1% of source subreddits. I assume that subs like r/Drama are the 1%.
Recently I stumbled upon his reddit account accidentally. He had a highly upvoted comment in an askreddit thread and it was a story he regularly likes to tell to friends, family members and such because it's a pretty funny anecdote.
Having realised that was his account I couldn't help but wonder what else he used his account for. I didn't see it as snooping or anything since it's all public anyway. His post history was pretty disappointing, only a few posts in gaming related subreddits and his comment history wasn't very extensive either.
However I came upon a kind of fight he had gotten into with another guy and he said that he thought it was shitty to use the terms pedo and molester as synonyms since there were a lot of pedos who never offended and would rather off themselves than do so. The other guy said it didn't matter, that they were sick anyway and asked him whether he was a pedo because he defended them so much.
My boyfriend replied that he wasn't a pedo but that he was a hebephile, someone attracted to young teenagers but that he would never act on it either, it was more an involuntary impulse, seeing a young teenage girl and if she was "attractive" he would think she was really cute for a moment but also realising that she was way too young and shutting down these thoughts. He wrote he also found adult women attractive, well those with a body type he found attractive (basically short, skinny, slim hips and small breasts). He wrote that others made him feel like a monster only for having these thoughts although he knows that girls that young can not consent, that he would never ever act on it, and only ever wanted to be with adult women.
This really shocked me and I needed some time to think about it. Im not sure whether I should be concerned, disturbed, maybe even supportive? Well I 100% believe him if he says he would never act on these thoughts, he's a wonderful person, kind and caring, someone I could imagine marrying in the future, but now whenever we are out and a young teen girl crosses our way I can't help but think that he likes that and has thoughts about girls as young as her. Going to the pool or something would probably be a bad idea, too many girls that age there. He doesn't work with children but what if we have kids and they bring friends over? As I said I believe him that he would never act on it but these intrusive thoughts are still worrying me even though I know he can't help it.
I could never ask anyone I know about this because if others found out his life would be ruined which he doesn't deserve at all. So I thought I'd ask here. How should I deal with this? Should I tell him that I know? And where do we go from here?
tl;dr: Found out that my boyfriend is a hebephile. Don't want to break up with him and believe him when he says he'd never act on it but still not sure where to go from here.
12 comments
1 SnapshillBot 2018-12-16
I did a research paper this summer on this subreddit and there was a published study that found that 74% of attacks on Reddit came from 1% of source subreddits. I assume that subs like r/Drama are the 1%.
Snapshots:
This Post - archive.org, megalodon.jp, removeddit.com, archive.is
https://www.reddit.com/r/relationsh... - archive.org, megalodon.jp, removeddit.com, archive.is
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1 Thisisepicstein 2018-12-16
Isn't he dead
1 WatermelonMcNuggets 2018-12-16
really?
1 Thisisepicstein 2018-12-16
He deleted his account and alts and made a rant post who knows
1 WatermelonMcNuggets 2018-12-16
to jump from that to killing oneself seems like a bit much though
1 Kiru-kokujin25 2018-12-16
wheres the rant post
1 WatermelonMcNuggets 2018-12-16
Here's the OP since it was removed
Recently I stumbled upon his reddit account accidentally. He had a highly upvoted comment in an askreddit thread and it was a story he regularly likes to tell to friends, family members and such because it's a pretty funny anecdote.
Having realised that was his account I couldn't help but wonder what else he used his account for. I didn't see it as snooping or anything since it's all public anyway. His post history was pretty disappointing, only a few posts in gaming related subreddits and his comment history wasn't very extensive either.
However I came upon a kind of fight he had gotten into with another guy and he said that he thought it was shitty to use the terms pedo and molester as synonyms since there were a lot of pedos who never offended and would rather off themselves than do so. The other guy said it didn't matter, that they were sick anyway and asked him whether he was a pedo because he defended them so much.
My boyfriend replied that he wasn't a pedo but that he was a hebephile, someone attracted to young teenagers but that he would never act on it either, it was more an involuntary impulse, seeing a young teenage girl and if she was "attractive" he would think she was really cute for a moment but also realising that she was way too young and shutting down these thoughts. He wrote he also found adult women attractive, well those with a body type he found attractive (basically short, skinny, slim hips and small breasts). He wrote that others made him feel like a monster only for having these thoughts although he knows that girls that young can not consent, that he would never ever act on it, and only ever wanted to be with adult women.
This really shocked me and I needed some time to think about it. Im not sure whether I should be concerned, disturbed, maybe even supportive? Well I 100% believe him if he says he would never act on these thoughts, he's a wonderful person, kind and caring, someone I could imagine marrying in the future, but now whenever we are out and a young teen girl crosses our way I can't help but think that he likes that and has thoughts about girls as young as her. Going to the pool or something would probably be a bad idea, too many girls that age there. He doesn't work with children but what if we have kids and they bring friends over? As I said I believe him that he would never act on it but these intrusive thoughts are still worrying me even though I know he can't help it.
I could never ask anyone I know about this because if others found out his life would be ruined which he doesn't deserve at all. So I thought I'd ask here. How should I deal with this? Should I tell him that I know? And where do we go from here?
tl;dr: Found out that my boyfriend is a hebephile. Don't want to break up with him and believe him when he says he'd never act on it but still not sure where to go from here.
1 LongPostBot 2018-12-16
Posts like this is why I do Heroine.
I am a bot. Contact for questions
1 BlacJeesus 2018-12-16
*Heroin.
1 A663954512658449695 2018-12-16
I don't care about the OP but why potentially juicy drama always removed?
Dramacels are the most oppressed minority.
1 automatic_cluck 2018-12-16
He is/was a jew?
1 WatermelonMcNuggets 2018-12-16
German jew?
I meant hebephilecels then