This, but unironically.

Snapshots:

1. This Post - archive.org, megalodon.jp, archive.is

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Look at this absolute theologylet.

Immaculate Conception refers to the birth of the Virgin Mary without OG sin. The birth of Jesus is a different thing.

Have memes gone too far?

ya

Memes went too far years ago. Now we're just living in the shattered husk of a world their overuse led to.

World War Meme: information overload edition

Always been curious how many Christians would get that question wrong.

[deleted]

Always been curious how many Christians would get that question wrong.

It would be strange if a Catholic got it wrong. Most Protestants don't accept the doctrine of the Immaculate Conception, so it would make sense that they might not be so familiar with it.

That's what they get for being heretics.

Repent, papist!

I'm not the one facing eternal damnation.

You must've rejected the pope then. Good to hear!

Why are you typing this instead of writing it and nailing it to a door somewhere

Immaculate conception is Mary's birth.

It's over for christcels

Wait wut.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Immaculate_Conception

Catholic believe that when Mary was conceived she was not tainted by original sin a.k.a immaculate. She was pre-redeemed by jesus's future sacrifice

It’s not explained why God couldn’t do this for anyone else.

retarded

It really is dumb, to put it as politely as possible

Nuh uh, your original sin doesn’t taint me because I have a sin-proof shield. Also I have the ability to birth a child that can cancel out all sin forever if anyone just asks him to and believes he will.

It's just turtles all the way down.

Ut what does the dope ass lion stand on?

What is with them and Mary anyways. The OG faghag.

You know those pagan religions and their worship of virgin women? It's basically just that, specifically from the greeks and romans.

Bible jumped the shark at that point

It was a bit of a season 3 retcon iah

This little piece of dogma wasn't added until the 19th century.

At least Islam is consistent that all women are whores.

Jew broad has a magic pussy.

Ok, now this is epic

Sarah Silverman's clit just tingled.

"My vagina!"

(Audience laughs)

"Is wet!"

(Audience cheers wildly)

amy Schumer walks on stage picks up mic, almost drops it twice while fumbling it taps it to test its on, it screeches “Ahem. Welcome to my comedy special. I’m Amy Schumer and I have a vagina.” A few small chuckles begin. They slowly increase until most of the audience is giggling at the joke. They don’t stop but Amy continues on to her next joke. “I have periods too.” The audience suddenly roars into laughter. Tears streaming down some people’s faces as they struggle to breathe. Amy still goes on. “One time I woke up and my vagina was like ooh I’m a vagina” The audience laughs so hard they can’t breathe. Amy Schumer walks off stage. The crowd is still roaring with laughter. People begin to pass out due to inability to breathe from laughing so hard. Amy Schumer walks back out, for one last joke. “I have boobs too” That’s it. Amy runs off stage as fast as she can. The crowd starts going insane. People are ripping each other’s faces off, there’s blood everywhere. People begin stripping naked and throwing their own feces. Security can’t control them. Anyone that tries to stop them is instantly mauled. People begin eating each other’s limbs, still laughing the entire time. This crowd has become an uncontrollable mob. Swat teams burst in through the windows, but they can’t stop the beast. The main floor is now covered by a thin pool of blood. 1/4 of the audience is dead by now, but the laughter is louder than ever. The military gets called in, but they don’t know what to do. They send in teams from every entrance to try to stop the mob, but they’re taken down quite quickly. Eventually they decide the only option is to bomb the venue. They clear out everyone within 16 blocks. A Rockwell B-1 Lancer is flown in. The bomb levels the entire building. As military rushes in to check for casualties only one person is left laughing. It’s coming from under the stage. It’s Amy. She’s covered in dirt and rubble, and she’s bleeding. She’s giggling to herself. The soldiers try to get her out from under the stage, but they can’t reach her. They attempt to coax her out but she isn’t moving. Eventually, after what seems like years, she stops laughing. Everything is silent. Nobody moves, you can hear the sound of everyone’s breath in the crisp, cool air. Amy slowly turns around and scans her audience. “Do you want to hear a joke?”

The End.

Ma'am we've been over this before. You need to stop.

I am a bot. Contact for questions

It's Mary's inception.

Yoshke fans of drama, I have a question:

is Jesus not having a biological father like a spiritual thing, or is it a real thing, like when papists think the wine literally becomes blood in the mass thing?

I've always understood it as a real thing. God directly intervened with one tiny specific act of creation, Jesus was not the bio son of Joseph.

IANAP, but the bit about the wine is "it is and it isn't". There is no lab test that would show it as chemically different to wine, but it's not just "symbolic" blood either.

Jesus was not the bio son of Joseph.

Was Jesus the bio son of Mary though, or was she just a surrogate?

He could only be her biological son if she was immaculately conceived. Jesus had to be born without sin for his sacrifice to cover the sins of all humanity. If he was Mary’s biological son but not Joseph’s he would inherit sin from Mary if she herself was not sinless, thus requiring Mary to be the surrogate of an organism originating entirely from God. If Mary was born without sin (immaculate conception) then he could be Mary’s biological son and be born without sin.

With the idea that at least one (Jesus or Mary) of them had to be immaculately conceived for Jesus to be born without sin, it kinda makes more sense for Jesus to be the one who was completely the creation of God, not Mary, because Jesus is the more important of the two.

Any particular reason why God would need to create either Holy Sperm or Holy Fertilised Egg when he could just go "right, one of your eggs has just become a male zygote"? Figure this is the same God that could go "hmm, a universe sounds like a cool idea" and it was so (otherwise, why are we even having this conversation?).

Well Jesus is supposed to be the Son of God so having the human Mary self-fertilize (if that's what you're describing?) seems a bit underwhelming, not to mention the inbreeding implications.

Not "self-fertilize" either. If God can create an arbitrarily large number of animal species on one day in creation (however long you take "one day" to be, and that's a whole nother topic), then causing an unfertilised egg to become a fertilised one with a healthy set of chromosomes is about has hard as writing out the seven times table when you can integrate the square root of tan(x) dx.

Why do humans maintain their Tamagochis when they could be creating and raising real humans?

IANAP, but the bit about the wine is "it is and it isn't". There is no lab test that would show it as chemically different to wine, but it's not just "symbolic" blood either.

I went to Catholic school, so I was taught about this shit. Basically, Catholics believe that when the priest does what he does to the communion wine, the spirit of Jesus get in it like OJ got in his Bronco.

And basically they think that God was Mary's babydaddy and that Joe basically got cucked.

It's over for humancels

It's over for spermcels.

It's over for cellcels

Jesus being born of a virgin is part of the dogma, so profession of that belief is required both in the spiritual and biological sense.

papists

prot begone

prot begone

Even worse, she's a jüden 🤢

For Catholics, yes. They believe in transubstantiation, that the miracle happens

It's pretty much exactly like Star Wars 1. God uses the midichlorians to create life out of nothing, his mother didn't even get to have sex.

It’s meant to be literal, and viewed that way by all Christian sects as well as Islam. It comes from Isaiah, when he said a sign for all would be when a virgin conceives and has a child

I can only speak for myself and other Protestants I know, but we believe that Jesus was born actually without a biological father. But the “wine becomes blood and bread becomes body” part of communion is metaphorical

It’s a scientific thing. Mary had so many midichlorians that The Force basically inseminated her.

Not only did God literally cuck Joseph but there is no way a teenage girl could consent to being impregnated by the omnipotent creator of the universe tbh

The virgin birth of the "god that is also the son of god who was conceived through a ray of light hitting the mother" comes from ancient Mesopotamian propaganda spread by a widowed queen 4300-4500 years ago

The fact that there are people praying to her today without bothering to look into it shows how delusional some religious branches are

Congratulations, you're the first person ever to notice how retarded religion is.

There's also nothing about Santa, the Easter bunny, or pumpkins in the Bible but that doesn't seem to bother people.

who cares

I dont therecis a single fact right in there

Is this true like it's true that Easter is named after Ishtar, or is it even truer than that?

Ishtar is a later deification of the queen in question actually! So take that as you will

I'll take it like this: if it turns out that pagan myths occasionally contain glimpses of the truth, then the implication is not "so much the worse for the Christians" but "so much the better for the pagans", because even in the midst of the darkness God allowed them to be enlightened once in a while.

This isn't to be taken as a proof of the rightness of Christianity. It may, however, serve as a counter to "lol, Babylonian myths got there first". Did I fite you enough or do we need to go at it some more?

Sure, if were talking about "universal truths" then you may have a point since then they would be early glimpses into spiritual truth. I can agree with you there. That being said, its the theft of cultural traditions that i think takes away some credibility

Take the sabbath for instance; god had wanted saturday to be a day of rest / a day with god, instead most Christians see sunday as a day of rest because early groups wanted to incorporate sun worshiping heathens into their midst.

You have people worshiping the virgin mary (who was a human by all accounts), you have people coming to church to have easter eggs blessed, you have half the Christian world unironically believe the Christ was born on the day of the winter solstice. Even the 3 days that jesus had to spend dead before resurrection come from ancient Mesopotamian roots

Im not saying jesus didnt exist, or that his companions werent blessed with wisdom that they then spread, im sure thats at least mostly true. Im only arguing that the church has corrupted the religion by adopting pagan beliefs over hundreds of years so that it may better appeal to heathens as it spread

If you've ever held a babby and had your mouth water, you'll understand the "tender and mild" line better.

I'm offended. Delete this or you'll face the might of /r/the_donald, libtard.

I feel personally attacked

The immaculate conception refers to the conception of Mary, not Jesus.

this would be right at home in /r/DankChristianityMemes

Never thought I'd learn Christian lore from an r/drama thread. It really permeates all walks of life

> looks for the momruepari stamp of approval

fucking weak

"Silent Night", the incel hymn.

I too follow gayvapeshark on instagram

Wait a minute. Are you gvs or am I stupid

Idgi

I have no idea what the first sentence means bc I don’t have Facebook but I kind of understand now

I'm not the one facing eternal damnation.

IF YOURE IMMACUATELY CONCEPTED ITS ACTUALLY OVER