Lmao imagine being so humorless that not only do you not understand certain types of humor, but you actively seek and destroy humor elsewhere that you don't understand. src
Its pretty great. The Eagles win 5 out of their last 6 to squeak in the playoffs - Carson Wentz goes down. Nick Foles comes in. Plays a pretty bad game, but makes the right throws at the right time, and gets extremely lucky on a dink and dunk field goal after their coach used a timeout to ice what would have been a game winning make to put the bears up 2 points. Seems like the Iggles may be the team of destiny yet again.
The story is set up perfectly, too. Colts put the smackdown on the Houston Texans, setting up a match with the Chiefs at home, who they have historically had the number of in the playoffs, going 4-0 in all their previous matchups. Then you have the Chargers beating the Ravens today and heading to Foxborough to take on the Patriots, who they have consistently choked against. The most likely outcome is the Colts shellack the Chiefs flimsy D and keep Patrick Mahomes off the field with a power run game with Marlin Mack and their #1 O-Line in the NFL and put up quick touchdowns with T.Y. Hilton and the play action pass, winning the game easily. Then you have the cursed franchise that is the Chargers taking on the Patriots at their house - and we all know how that game is gonna turn out. Tom Brady magically learns how to throw for over 20 yards accurately again, Gronk somehow finds a working spine, and Melvin Gordon inexplicably fumbles the ball twice at crucial moments giving the Patriots a close win.
Then you've got a matchup between the Colts and the Patriots at home that probably ends up the same way the Chargers game ends up but with different characters, same movie.
The Eagles go into the Superdome, take care of the Saints with more inexplicable Nick Foles playoff bullshit, while the Rams beat the Cowboys and their square headed QB Dak Prescott and head into an NFC championship showdown at home in LA against the eagles to decide who goes to the superbowl. Now if you know anything about LA NFL teams, its that its basically a home game for the visiting team, and on top of that the Eagles already beat them once, so they should have no problems doing it again for a superbowl berth.
And finally, in the most unlikely of circumstances, the worst iteration or one of the worst iterations of the Patriots in the Belichik-Brady goes up against Big Dick Nick and an Eagles squad that probably should have been picking in the top 12 draft picks this year. For all the fucking marbles, a second god damn year in a row. Oh baby. And that game? Well, Big Dick Nick puts up 500 yards and 5 tds for a second superbowl in a row, but Tom Brady cant respond in kind this time and the Iggles blow out the Patriots and then Carson Wentz gets traded to the raiders for 2 first round draft picks.
16 comments
1 SnapshillBot 2019-01-07
Lmao imagine being so humorless that not only do you not understand certain types of humor, but you actively seek and destroy humor elsewhere that you don't understand. src
Snapshots:
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1 _Suprememe_ 2019-01-07
Happy Birthday Snappy.
1 -Steve_French- 2019-01-07
The way his voice cracks on every word ššš
1 AnnoyinTheGoyim 2019-01-07
He sounds like Super Dave Osborne.
1 RandolphCox 2019-01-07
i want to hate him but the women and dweebs tweeting at him "calm down" makes me like him out of spite.
1 cochnbahls 2019-01-07
I'm torn between letting him vent and letiing everyone continue to gaslight him.
1 Karmaisforsuckers 2019-01-07
Humiliating yourself to own the libs
1 cochnbahls 2019-01-07
If you or a loved one in Chicago is in severe mental distress tonight, please call the crisis prevention hotline.
Or call
1 RealJackAnchor 2019-01-07
The real mental distress is living in Chicago.
1 Karmaisforsuckers 2019-01-07
Sportsfans are even more pathetic than Gamers. At least Gamers are actually playing the game.
1 loli_esports 2019-01-07
literally me
1 PDaviss 2019-01-07
https://twitter.com/barstoolcarl/status/1082101658644086785
1 ThePathToOne 2019-01-07
Its pretty great. The Eagles win 5 out of their last 6 to squeak in the playoffs - Carson Wentz goes down. Nick Foles comes in. Plays a pretty bad game, but makes the right throws at the right time, and gets extremely lucky on a dink and dunk field goal after their coach used a timeout to ice what would have been a game winning make to put the bears up 2 points. Seems like the Iggles may be the team of destiny yet again.
The story is set up perfectly, too. Colts put the smackdown on the Houston Texans, setting up a match with the Chiefs at home, who they have historically had the number of in the playoffs, going 4-0 in all their previous matchups. Then you have the Chargers beating the Ravens today and heading to Foxborough to take on the Patriots, who they have consistently choked against. The most likely outcome is the Colts shellack the Chiefs flimsy D and keep Patrick Mahomes off the field with a power run game with Marlin Mack and their #1 O-Line in the NFL and put up quick touchdowns with T.Y. Hilton and the play action pass, winning the game easily. Then you have the cursed franchise that is the Chargers taking on the Patriots at their house - and we all know how that game is gonna turn out. Tom Brady magically learns how to throw for over 20 yards accurately again, Gronk somehow finds a working spine, and Melvin Gordon inexplicably fumbles the ball twice at crucial moments giving the Patriots a close win.
Then you've got a matchup between the Colts and the Patriots at home that probably ends up the same way the Chargers game ends up but with different characters, same movie.
The Eagles go into the Superdome, take care of the Saints with more inexplicable Nick Foles playoff bullshit, while the Rams beat the Cowboys and their square headed QB Dak Prescott and head into an NFC championship showdown at home in LA against the eagles to decide who goes to the superbowl. Now if you know anything about LA NFL teams, its that its basically a home game for the visiting team, and on top of that the Eagles already beat them once, so they should have no problems doing it again for a superbowl berth.
And finally, in the most unlikely of circumstances, the worst iteration or one of the worst iterations of the Patriots in the Belichik-Brady goes up against Big Dick Nick and an Eagles squad that probably should have been picking in the top 12 draft picks this year. For all the fucking marbles, a second god damn year in a row. Oh baby. And that game? Well, Big Dick Nick puts up 500 yards and 5 tds for a second superbowl in a row, but Tom Brady cant respond in kind this time and the Iggles blow out the Patriots and then Carson Wentz gets traded to the raiders for 2 first round draft picks.
1 LongPostBot 2019-01-07
still unemployed then?
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1 33_44then12 2019-01-07
wow
1 preserved_fish 2019-01-07
r/bigdicknickfoles is the other way, but if he does it twice in a row, this bussy will be willing.