J E F F B O Z O

1  2019-01-14 by TehAlpacalypse

138 comments

I only follow the patriarchal aspects of Islam. Not the aspects that make you a cuck e.g. Abstaining from womanising, penetrating a sweet trap virgin ass and lowering your gaze.

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Trump loves to punch down and use his powerful platform as the President of the United States to engage in the most horrendous, intense bullying that can lead to unprecedented harassment for his unfortunate targets. That’s an egregious abuse of the highest office in the land. Tfw when shitposting will undermine the integrity of the Presidential office.

How dare he bully the richest and most powerful man in America like that?

most powerful man in America

😂😂😂

I forgot about Soros for a couple seconds there.

The most powerful man in America is the Zucc, who controls the weather. Rothschild conspiracy theories are much better when you replace the Rothschilds with the Zucc, he's actually the richest Jewish guy and he actually seems like he could do that shit. Also he's a living meme

Friendly reminder that it if she doesn't settle (which she will probably), Bezo's exwife will be richer than Zuckerberg.

Bezos is also a lot closer to a cartoon villain. Just look at him. Zuckerberg's just a weirdo in comparison

Zucc has the innsmouth look. Don't be fooled.

Bogdanoffs will not be disrespected like this. Not in this sub.

Been hearing this a bit lately. Can someone give me a quick rundown on these guys?

quick rundown

-Rothschilds bow to Bogdanoffs -In contact with aliens -Possess psychic-like abilities -Control france with an iron but fair fist -Own castles & banks globally -Direct descendants of the ancient royal blood line -Will bankroll the first cities on Mars (Bogdangrad will be be the first city) -Own 99% of DNA editing research facilities on Earth -First designer babies will in all likelihood be Bogdanoff babies -both brothers said to have 215+ IQ, such intelligence on Earth has only existed deep in Tibetan monasteries & Area 51 -Ancient Indian scriptures tell of two angels who will descend upon Earth and will bring an era of enlightenment and unprecedented technological progress with them -They own Nanobot R&D labs around the world -You likely have Bogdabots inside you right now -The Bogdanoffs are in regular communication with the Archangels Michael and Gabriel, forwarding the word of God to the Orthodox Church. Who do you think set up the meeting between the pope & the Orthodox high command (First meeting between the two organisations in over 1000 years) and arranged the Orthodox leader's first trip to Antarctica in history literally a few days later to the Bogdanoff bunker in Wilkes land? -They learned fluent French in under a week -Nation states entrust their gold reserves with the twins. There's no gold in Ft. Knox, only Ft. Bogdanoff -The twins are about 7 decades old, from the space-time reference point of the base human currently accepted by our society -In reality, they are timeless beings existing in all points of time and space from the big bang to the end of the universe. We don't know their ultimate plans yet. We hope they're benevolent beings.

Control france with an iron but fair fist

Then when are they gonna hurry up and put down this yellow vest bullshit?

All part of the plan

It's just 4d chess m8

Where is the longpostbot?

Taking the bogpill

Getting woke to the ole hyperborean conspiracy.

Who do you think programmed it?

I likely have longpostbot inside me right now 😏

Bogdanoffs are real live God Emperors, but this in this time line they won't fuck up.

Based and Bogdanpilled.

he bought?

He bought?

Zucc is a literal lizard, he's not human so he doesn't count.

Well it's a well-known fact, sonny-jim, that there's a secret society of the 5 wealthiest people in the world, known as The Pentavirate, who run everything in the world including the newspapers, and meet tri-annually in a secret country mansion in Colorado known as The Meadows. (So who's in this Pentavirate?) The Queen, the Vatican, the Gettys, the Rothschilds...and Colonel Sanders before he went tits up! Ooh I hated the Colonel, with his wee beady eyes and that smug look on his face! Ohh you're gonna buy my chicken! Ooh!

Colonel Sanders laughed maniacally, hands in his pants, "I'll give them my secret blend of herbs and spices!", he cried as his quivering peen fired sticky giblets of flavor into a boiling vat of chicken fry oil. It was at this moment, that the Pope had had enough and dunked on the colonel, by dunking his head. Into the vat.

I can't be the only one who knows what that's from

Dad, how could you hate... The Colonel?

The richest man in America is the chairman of the Fed, when the stock market tanks it's 100% his fault and when the economy is doing well it's 100% his fault for keeping interest rates artificially low.

zuckerberg is just a huge sperg that stumbled into wealth while trying to facilitate a means of faggot college students crying to each other

But enough about /u/notchx

minecraft players arent in college

Their moms keep telling themselves that.

The average minecraft player age is 24.

Sauce? I looked it up, and it says it's between 15 and 21

Leave Autism-Simulator-Daddy alone!

Given how expensive lego are, parents of autistics must adore notch for digitizing the process.

This but unironically

Rothschild conspiracy theories are much better when you replace the Rothschilds with the Zucc

Nah, making conspiracy theories about Zucc is like making conspiracy theories about water being wet.

>still believing Zuckerberg exists

Zucc is a radical centrist, though, so it's OK.

If you don't think Bezos doesn't have an arsenal of tactical nukes you don't know Bond Villain Bezos

Seems like the poor man's Musk tbqhntymi.

I forgot that the King of Amazon trumps the president sometimes. Don't get why that was the only line in the constitution written in fine print.

thinking daddy has more power than richest man in the world

Smdh

What does Daddy have against self made men?

Honestly I've come to realize just how weak these billionaires are. Someone is about to take fucking 70 BILLION from you and you can't just have them killed? Neighborhood drug dealers have more power than these guys.

He doesn't care: There's basically nothing you can buy with $140 billion that you can't buy with $70 billion, and all the other rich guys already saw that his number is the biggest.

Once you have more than 100 billion dollars, it's like the slaughter rule applies for making money. Bill Gates has been giving away his money for a decade, and he's back to being one of the richest.

He does though, or he'd be living like a God-King. The fact is that with guys like Bezos the value is tied to stock they can't sell, and their public image is strongly connected to the stock. That means even though you think of them having enough money to do whatever they want, they're in many ways more constrained than much poorer warlords, criminals, and boss hog types.

It always used to confuse me why none of the billionaires did the things I would do (have 10,000 children, raise a private army, conquer a nation, become a tribal god, have everyone who looks at me wrong killed...) and so I looked into it and found out that they can't.

Yeah, he definitely cares about the Amazon share price, but just because his ex-wife owns half the shares it doesn't mean other businesspeople are going to stop thinking "Amazon stock goes up = Jeff Bezos success". Technically losing control of the shares doesn't matter because everyone knows Amazon is his thing. I don't think it threatens his ego the way losing money would upset some small time criminal.

He just wants to bring about the a future where Amazon drones rain global hellfire with smiley-stamped missiles on the Facebook alliance.

He just wants to bring about a future where Amazon drones rain global hellfire with smiley-stamped missiles on the Facebook alliance.

imagine not wanting this

Don't get why that was the only line in the constitution written in fine print.

If you actually read the fine print the president doesn't actually have a lot of power. The Constitution pretty much limits his power to the veto, which is just a fancy way of telling congress to get fucked.

The fact that Bezos is cishet spoils everything—what we really need is an Amazonian queen.

I think MacKenzie Bezos is now 50% Amazonian Queen.

She should probably buy Trump tower just to burn it down for fun.

I haven’t checked the CTH like subs but I sure as shit hope they are making fun of liberals defending Jeff Bezos lmao.

When the president bullies someone, could that be considered... presidential harassment? 😏🤔

👆👆👆

1 1 1?

3

Thing is, now it’s really over for drunpf because Bezos is going to have his paper the WAPO really go after him!! RIP drunpt

Also, if you know anything about the moron who posted that, it's even better. That guy is a fucking moron.

Thats a bot.

Wtf I love mega capitalist Jeff Bezos now

Wtf I hate capitalism now

This meme was made by Nazbol gang

Did AlphaOrange call jeff bezos "bozo":

  1. on purpose, power move

  2. mashing his fat foreskin on keyboard and hence accidental typo

  3. /pol/tard intern typed it

Vote now.

1

  1. But desperately

He doesn't get how Bezos stayed in the same marriage for 20 years.

1

I just wished he said "The Amazon Post".

  1. ⁠mashing his fat foreskin on keyboard and hence accidental typo

Sounds like someone is upset that they can never be king since their crown was removed at birth.

Combination of 1 and 2.

mashing his fat foreskin on keyboard and hence accidental typo

Implying The_Zionald still has a foreskin

1, 2 & 3.

Daddy tried to make the ultimate power move and cockslapped the intern who was typing it, causing her to panic and mistype. She dreaded what would happen next, as Donald held his foreskin in his hand. Yes, he held it. He had been recently circumcised, supposedly to improve relations with Israel but really it was a desperate move to once again try to fuck his daughter, having realized that she had become a true believer in the Jewish faith. But Donald was a sentimental man, who couldn't just throw away his foreskin, and besides it made a great sweatband. Oh, that's right, a sweatband. Because Trump's cock was only 1.5 inches long, yet had a circumference of over 9 inches. He didn't cockslap the intern as much as he battering rammed her. smashing her whole body into the desk, before he slipped his foreskin around her neck, and began to choke her, but before he could ejaculate, he ran out of breath and had to release her. It was for the best, as she was the last person alive besides The Mooch who knew his twitter password, and Trump had no way of contacting him ever since John Kelly had thrown out the post-it with Mooch's flip-phone number on it. Trump paused for a moment, thinking about his old associate, and wondered what he would have done to Bezos if he had still been in the White House. Perhaps he would mandated the Postal Service only ship Amazon packages using tissues recovered from teenage boyss bedrooms' as the padding, or maybe even initiate a program to mandate all dreamers become postal workers, who would show up at doors with a gun in their hand, offering it to the first person who opened the door. They would stare into each other's eyes, and each dreamer's fate would be determined right then or there, by a true American. Fuck jury duty, this was what being an American was all about. Yes, Trump realized, forgetting that he had just moments ago nearly snuffed an intern out of rage at old Bozo at Amazon, he would announce his plan for the dreamers to Congress at once.

This, tbh.

I want you to know that I read your entire post, twice.

I wasn't going to read it but then I read you comment so I read it and it was worth it.

o7

I've never felt as much American pride as I do now.

Comment so good that longpostbot lets it slide.

Because Trump's cock was only 1.5 inches long, yet had a circumference of over 9 inches.

Bigly choad style.

  1. All of the above. The intern has to use Daddy's foreskin to type every single tweet since Daddy's always busy building that wall. It was a display of his Chadness to the world. One day I hope to achieve his level of basedness and maybe even be able to touch his fat hog with my underaged lips. 😍😍😍😘😘😘❤️❤️❤️

Child prodigy Jacob Wohl slurping up to Daddy in the replies is good stuff.

It's rare that I'd genuinely refer to someone as such, but that kid's a bootlicker.

It's so hard to suck up to Daddy anymore, the best he can do is say "Daddy may be an impotent old sex maniac who is incapable of having any meaningful relationship, but he always had the best prenups!"

Wasn't he the one who tried to defraud the FBI on his mom's phone plan or something retarded like that? Who did daddy pay off to keep him out of jail this time?

This fuckin guy is in every Trump Twitter thread

https://mobile.twitter.com/WeAreOne_Q/status/1084627909044854787

Resisting the satanic pedophile globalist cabal is as easy as buying t-shirts! Part of me hopes this guy is a lefty ripping off qanon downies.

Let's admit it, we've all thought of doing this. It's be a good accompaniment to my other venture, selling carbon offset credits to guilt-ridden burners during their annual Nevada migration

Both really are the perfect targets. Qanon people are boomers with disposable income and SS checks, while burners are privileged kids who pretend to be poor for a few days. Someone is getting rich off both of these groups of morons.

Step 1: Sell the qoomers on the implication of the obviously pagan nature of Burning Man.

Step 2: Sell t-shirts based on anti-Wicker Man hysteria

Step 3: Profit

Step 4: Teach the qoomers that attacking the wasteful decadence of the event is the best way to really get under their skin.

Step 5: With the burners feeling extra sensitive about it, start hawking the "Carbon-Neutral Burn"

Step 6: More profit

Brilliant. Now if we can find a way to work essential oils and homeopathy into the mix we could corner the market on the easily scammed.

I bar mitzvahed you less than a week ago and you've already caught on so fast! 😊

Don't forget, I'm mostly {{{Hibernian}}}.

Aren't many burners just drugged-out boomers by this point?

I dunno, I've never gone. I do remember articles coming out showing a bunch of rich young people attending though.

So is the MD guy

Can I get the shirts on Amazon? I don't want to waste my prime subscription.

i love how people genuinely think its russian spies instead of just boomers

Implying they aren't equally articulate in the English language.

I’m buying that shirt and visiting every vape shop in town.

I'd love to see a reality TV show with all the familiar cast of top-level Trump commenters shot similarly to "The Real World."

Thats a bot

Idk what makes me lose more brain cells, daddy's tweets or the people that respond to him

Protecting the feels of a scumbag Amazon CEO to own the conservatards

How I imagine the r/politics thread is going rn

Absolutely seething that Jeff Bezos' ex-wife is gonna be an order of magnitude richer than Daddy.

How I imagine this commenter is.

She'll also have earned her fortune far more than Daddy

Yeah, she had to be married to Jeff Bezo

Implying I give a shit whether Orange Super Hitler is richer or poorer than some other rich people

orange super hitler

😱

tbh i have always liked Bezos and for information, megacorp executives and business owners have feelings too

Jeff Bezos just got divorced. Have some compassion for once he didn’t do anything to you.

Defending a cheater to own the conservatards 👏🏻👍🏻

geney boy is a wife beater so he knows the pain of getting divorced

Oh please let this be true

im not saying its 100% true but his wiki page does say stuff about his ex-wife accused him of sexual assult and the like, also i dont really care i just like tweeting him and asking him to pop his new wife in the mouth.

There was a whole saga about this. I think he apologized so it's at least partly true.

How come Ed Krassenstein's Yiddish, Hooknosed mug no longer appears on the top of comments?

Cause turboweasel rice doctor has taken the reigns. Krassenstein is a sniveling jew but normies just see a white guy so they wanted to get some woke PoC action revved up

lol eugene gu has the first 5 replies in a row

There are two layers at play here: 1. Daddy is just flexing on Bezos since he was able to cheat on his wife and get away with most of his fortune intact.

  1. Daddy is mad that even with half of his wealth going to his ex-wife, Bezos is far richer than he'll ever be.

It’s mostly about the WaPo. Not saying Trump isn’t but, you’d have be extremely petty and deluded to compare yourself to the richest person in the world (whoever that may be).

Especially if you are the fucking POTUS.

@realDonaldTrump Is this your way of "dumbing us down" ?! I know you are smarter than this! You didn't like W's way of doing the same! You were not like this at Trump Tower 13, 14 years ago!

Lmao

Is Daddy unironically talking shit about Bezos for...getting divorced?

Glass houses, etc.

having sex with a pornstar just after the birth of your child

Daddy is cHRISTIAN FAMILY VALUES personified

J E F F B O Z O

god hes such a powerful poster

i'm so glad qtards exist

i can’t tell if this sub is one of those subs that are weirdly full of conservatives or if everybody just hates jeff bezos

Classic play ground insult

'jeff bezos just got divorced have some compassion for once'

fucking liberals reeeeeeee

Trump is becoming the best leader the world has seen.

he missed the chance to call him jerk bozo though

Actual self made billionaire who actually has influence...no wonder Trump hates him, he's everything Trump pretends to be.

Is trump literally in middle school?

Now he definitely has confirmed he had a part in the bezos lewds. Good job dipshit.