Plot twist: third neckbeard charged with 'ethnic intimidation' is actually a local Antifa chapter leader.

1  2019-01-31 by yeliwofthecorn

194 comments

George Soros has paid me $25 million to create this hurricane with a wooden spoon, glitter, and a bottle of Prosecco. I can do this because I’m a woman, and I can bleed each month without dying. He is sending me the money via magical unicorn. Gay Rainbow unicorn, of course...

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Very cool!

You know the old saying "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything."

Maybe try applying that to "if you don't have anything to say, don't say anything."

But then you wouldn't be /u/Ed_ButteredToast, I suppose.

Very cool!

😴😴😴

Hello.

You are receiving this message because you posted in defense of Donald Trump. I no longer provide individual responses on this matter. It has been my experience that Trump supporters are universally incapable of accepting verifiable truths about him and, by extension, themselves, thus rendering discussion pointless and, therefore, a waste of time.

I wish you all the best in your ongoing battle with reality.

Yours respectfully, a logical person.

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slide whistle

proof that "both sides" of the mayoid debate are the same.

we need a 2nd neanderthal genocide

implying africa can handle getting btfo a second time

This shit is faker than Black Hollywood Gay Man and the threadbare twine of lynching.

Faker than Dolezal

How dare you. Rachel Dolemite is a brave and out transracial and it is the height of bigotry to suggest otherwise.

she is unironically the blackest woman in the state of Washington. how dare you.

Where are you getting fake from? It's perfectly consistent.

Since Fox News only pays their reporters based on the number of times they can put Antifa and democrat in the same sentence I had to google what the fuck incident this article was even talking about and came upon this article written by Philadelphia magazine and the details sound weird af:

According to an affidavit of probable cause filed in the Alcoff case, Torres was reading online stories about the attacks when he came upon an article on the Tucker Carlson-founded Daily Caller website that connected Keenan to Alcoff.

That article called Alcoff “D.C.’s radical antifa leader … who’s advocated for violence and for the overthrow of the government.”

Torres saw a photo of Alcoff in the Daily Caller story and contacted detectives in Philadelphia, claiming that he recognized Alcoff as another member of the group that attacked him.

Investigators say that Torres then showed the detectives photos that he took of the suspects at the time of the attack, and police “strongly agree” that Alcoff was the person in Torres’ photos.

First off how do you have time to take pictures if you’re being savagely beaten by tens of Mayo manlets?

Their blows probably weren't that strong so it wouldn't be difficult to hold the camera steady.

You see your honor, these hardcore marines were simultaneously able to get badly beaten but were also not inconvenienced enough to inhibit them from filming and ID-ing their masked assailant. CENTRIST COMBAT TECHNIQUES.

I mean it says "local antifa chapter leader" which is a gigantic red flag in and of itself. The movement with no actual structure somehow has designated leaders? Might as well have called him the president of 4chan while you're at it.

Court documents said Torres identified Alcoff while reading online articles about the attacks on the Daily Caller and came across a story that identified Alcoff as “D.C.’s radical Antifa leader … who’s advocated for violence and for the overthrow of the government.”

The Philly Mag article Fox lifted from is lulzier imo but also doesn't have a comments section.

As per usual, the comments are straight boomer gold. But this story really stirred the hive, 2.5k in 12 hours.

Some choice excerpts:

Germany had it's brown shirts and the democrat party in the US has it's Antifa. Yes Antifa the organization that the DNC says is ONLY looking out for the best interest of the US, and IS only protecting the US against racism.

The implication being, I guess, that the Nazis were secretly looking out for the best interests of... not Germany?

George Soros and Barack Obama's ANTIFA leaders are pushing the envelope with the American People. Keep it up ANTIFA. We The People are watching YOU!

if it happened under owebama they would be invited to the white house.....the true divider in chief

THANKS OBAMA

The truth hurts - just like Charlottesville - KKK were there legally with their permit to demonstrate and ANTIFA showed up with masks and weapons but only the KKK are racists right?

Tikki Torch-cels rise up

The implication being, I guess, that the Nazis were secretly looking out for the best interests of... not Germany?

I think it's because they view it, like the brown shirts, as the militant wing of the political party.

cOPe you leftist faggot

On a scale of Tomato - Eggplant, how much of a fucking vegetable are you?

Seriously, do you read those comments and think, "These salt-of-the-earth people really are telling it how it is"?

HJave you ever been facefucked so hard that you actually started to sound like Jordan Peterson?

Damn that is some boomer gold. I bet their noggins would be spinning if Q said anything about Soros and kushner

Paging r/Qult_Headquarters/

TIL applying for a permit makes you not a racist!

Two Marines were beaten up by a bunch of liberals?

The state of the US military....

Ever since you stopped having to pack your blackpowder charge and apply your percussion cap separately it's been all downhill from there.

It's actually been going down hill ever since the long bow came along. After that any pussy with noodle arms could be an archer for m'lord.

Based lopsided hunchbacks.

It took many years of training to get good with a longbow, get fucked Frenchcel our chad peasant archers will fuck up your fancy armoured faggot knights any day

But for some reason the Chad Frenchmen won the hundred years war even though the Virgin English had spent all their time masturbating and developing technology that would compensate for their frail, sickly bodies.

Imagine being proud about being an Englishman.

Your national identity is literally three separate cultures coming and cucking your natives. Greater cultures -- Nordic, Germanic, French -- skirmished over your land for fun. When they were done and fucked off to do more important things, you raised your wifes son Abbiørn while repeating "Muh-muh-muh 1066...." over and over.

You forgot about the Romans.

>tfw never conquered by the romans

Scotcels rise up

damn now that you put it this way

They also had to cheat to beat the Boers, a bunch of semi-literates with hunting rifles.

Hy shit dem historical bantz.

But I'm a descendent of the people who cucked the natives so what do I care about those Celtic cucks?

Richard 1 n'a rien fait de mal

Literally sold your ass to the Vikings so they wouldn't pillage France anymore.

Still pillaged France anyways

The absolute state of Francels

Sold a northern coast that's worthless vs having your entire country taken over by them

Big HMMMMMMM

Normandy

Worthless

lmao

I mean it's filled with Normans

To be fair, this is basically the history of just about every civilization on earth. The one universal constant is that humans have been cucking each other since the dawn of time.

Medieval longbows were strung with 100lbs draws. We can spot archers of the era because of the disproportionate size of their draw arms.

Recurves are for noodly armed pansies.

Crossbows ruined archery

The 2 Rivers bow was even more difficult to shoot

Only difficult for those malnourished manlets. Seanchads would have no trouble with those toy bows.

Smh my head, them 2 Rivers bois shat all over the Seanchan....Matt basically cucked their whole army

Matt literally cucked their entire society.

t. Archerylet

Archery is hard to learn unironically

It's the crossbow that changed it all for noodle armed manets

Wrong, using a longbow took weekly training for years and in some parts of the UK the law still states that every able-bodied male must train with a longbow on Sundays because it's something you can't just pick up and use.

You're getting confused with crossbows, which made longbows obsolete because any retard could use them with minimal training.

Archers were actually the most shredded due to the physique needed to draw a longbow over and over again.

Word. You can tell a longbowman just by looking at his freakin' bare bones long after every shred of flesh has become worm food.

This meant that after they'd shot the horse from under someone, they could beat the shit out of him with a lump hammer - which they happened to have right there for knocking stakes into the ground.

The Industrial Revolution and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race

The real 14 words

*The invention of agriculture.

*The discovery of fire.

No, fire was OK, but mass agriculture is actually seriously questionable, from producing a whole lot of new chronic diseases to allowing rampant overpopulation and encouraging totalitarian states

Based uncle Teddy

They were Hispanic manlets, the Fantifas looked like your run of the mill obese trailer Mayo. It was baffling for all involved.

They were Hispanic manlets

prime reason #1 for the wall. come 2028 not a single player will be over 6 feet tall

¿Cuando van a aprender? 😔🎺🏃🏽‍♂️🗺🌯😞

Tegucigalpa 😣😢

Yes but what about...VENEZUELA?

Dude Chavez lmao

They play soccer

So long as you let in the tall ones I'm good

Can confirm, served with a lot of 5'3"-ish Marine men.

Marines are Hispanic manlets

When you're too weak for the Army, they send you to the Marines.

Or too dumb.

Hispanic Manlets

That’s the entire corps

Enough toddlers can take out godzilla dude.

It's not a matter of if toddlers can kill anything, it's a matter of when.

The same logic can be applied to marines and antifa, and in this case, 10 antifa members almost took out two marines.

That's some sound math there.

R Lee Emery is spinning in his goddamn grave...

Imagine him in this:

“Only steers and queers come from Texas”

“Guillllltttyyyyyyyyyyyy”

dude was a pog

That's actually pretty dope.

yeah godzilla will choke to death on them or something

You can choke me

Stop trolling for toddlers

They shouldn't be on the internet

Ah, there is some confusion here. I mean you keep trolling for toddlers all you want, but drama is made up of autists and retards

Same mentally handicapped, yes, but not what you're looking for

Actually I'm not picky so I do prey on retards from time to time

They are easy to fool. If you're not picky, there is a selection here

Hey you seem cool you should come visit me

I only fall for that trick once

What? No dude I just got culture of critique and I know how badly you've been wanting to read it

Preaching antisemitism? Be warned: Antifa neckbeard will be told of this

Shit

Obviously the solution is to poison the toddlers before sending them at Godzilla

Let's start with the poisonings and worry about the postal logistics later.

Toddlers are no match for faggzilla tho

M A R I N E C O P E

Dude godzilla went into a black hole and came out stronger as space godzilla. Godzilla has insane regeneration as well. There are so many Godzilla out there. There is one version of godzilla that went to hell, fought space godzilla, killed god, got eaten by some hell bats into a skeleton, controlled the bats to form a body out of bats, and destroyed the gatekeeper to hell. He then remade the world to his image, so basically the same. Even the weakest (1954 probably) godzilla had insane feats. He could fly in the air with his atomic breath like a jetpack. Sure eventually toddlers can kill him but that is like drowning in ants that cant hurt you at all, with not needing to breath or eat or sleep.

I’m not reading this whole thing but I like where your heads at.

Finally someone is speaking sense

FAGGOT SUPERMAN FAN HERE.

OMG SUPERMAN CAN'T LOSE,

HOLD UP,

YES,

THISISISSS SUPERMAN CANT LOSE.

GG GOKU

GG SAITAMA

GG ANIMEFAGMOS

1954 weakest

That was a bitch take, my dude.

Eh I thought of a smaller one.

That’s fair. Kaiju cred retained.

Where can I read more about hell bat Godzilla?

They were reservists.... 1 weekend a month, 2 weeks a year

Imagine thinking antifa were liberals lol

Nobody cares.

Stop downvoting lolcows dumbass

Imagine thinking anyone on this subs is gay enough to care about theory.

STFU penis wizard

No wonder we keep losing wars

10 antifa vs. 2 Marines.

You do the math.

Haven't the US military been lowering standards because it was too hard discriminated against women because they could not pass the physical requirements.

No. They've been lowering their standards because Americans are fat, lazy, and prefer being warriors in games to being shot at in real life.

Well now that no one gives a shit about America you've got to deal with an applicant pool of only people that can't get a better job.

bingo

reservists

Women can be marines, so it obviously doesn't mean you can fight.

From what I understand they were maced (standard in all antifa male purses) and outnumbered.

Anyone who thinks marines are any sort of special other than the bus kind really need to spend 5 minutes at Paris island and see how truly it’s strength in volume rather than quality.

Antifa doesn't just fight you in a fair fight though. They sneak attack and run. Unless you are prepared 24/7 they can get to you.

He thought he could hide his neckbearded nature. Note the razorburn. His two counterparts were alpha neckbeards.

note the razorburn

Nigga how little testosterone do you have that you don't even grow neck hair? You're supposed to shave it off

Yeah, but it's not supposed to be past the collar of his shirt. That's a clear sign.

that last chinless wonder has been crying.

37 years old

Hahahahahahahaha

And high AF when he was arrested based on that mug shot.

I don’t know what’s more pathetic; being this politically retarded in your late thirties or getting beaten up by someone like this.

Who am I kidding. It’s obviously 2.

Imagine losing to this guy in anything other than a Magic The Gathering tournament.

BUT I FLOODED OUT. YOU SHUFFLED MY DECK WRONG REEEEEEEEEEEEEE

That's pretty much a verbatim quote.

Most respectable intelligent people at that age buy a fast car and maybe try to get into trail biking or something. Imagine being such a brainlet that the best middle age crisis coping mechanism is fighting marines for intersectional feminist communism.

Yup, Quake was a good game.

When will spics learn not to be nazis 😡😡😡

Is this the guy who reports problematic comments on Reddit?

So a bunch of spoiled white picked a fight with two active duty Marines, and no one died?! What the fucking hell. I thought "all" Marines were hardened killers, so PTSD'd by the experience in Iraq, that they're all mass shooters in waiting.

Pfft, bunch of pussies if you ask me. I being an internet tough guy. . .who routinely gets into and also wins street fights

So a bunch

10 people

Right the marines are fucking pussies, we already established this.

Calm down tonka.

Lol remember when they were saying this was a MAGA false flag? I wonder how they will spin this?

It will probably be buried so there won't be any need to spin it.

They don't spin things they intend not to overly expose. The only time they have to spin or retract is when something blows up then blows over, like the "MAGA teens vs Chief Drum-in-nose" -- they exposed it too greatly, international news, so they had to cover their fuck-up. But even mainline media still beat around the bush.

One to look out for is the alleged attack on that gay black Empire actor, who claims he was beaten, had a noose around his neck and bleach poured him at 2am in Chicago by "MAGA country white supremacists". They made it national and international news, and the story isn't going to stick. Once it comes out that it was a fabrication, or the perpetrators are not white, or had no motivation against race/homos, or that the actor was simply beaten up by a tranny hooker he picked up, then they're just going to drop the story and never speak about it again.

The news will never pick this up again, it's detrimental to their agenda. If this was "MAGA hat wearing racists" who attacked hispanic marines, we would literally never hear the end of it. It would have been in the news cycle daily with "daily updates" and other speculation non-stop.

Is this pasta?🤣🤣

Imagine being an unironic pastas chef in 2019.

oh no too many words

Why do brainlets take pride in announcing their stupidity? Or does that question answer itself?

Imagine giving so much of a shit about your pathetic internet doings that you actually expected me to remember who the fuck you are or anything you've ever posted.

I'd keep going on but I've already hit the word limit at which your pathetic excuse for a brain shuts down, so I'm just going to laugh aloud at you for a while, instead.

I was gonna give you the win, then I saw that post was 11 months ago, that is a year. Fucking just admit you want to be that minion.

Pls don’t kinkshame

stop downvoting LOL cows you stupid mongs.

Your Pulitzer’s in the mail

They can't keep getting away with this! 😤

I fucking love the “This is MAGA country!!!!” story. It’s fucking hilarious either way you look at it.

Pepperidge Farm remembers!

They will ignore it

This is the least shocking plot twist if all time.

37 years old with a fucking pube beard

The absolute state of Antifa

Lock up every LARPer

Antifa must have been navigating the local playground obstacle course in their quest to achieve peak fitness for successful ethnic intimidation.

Who wouldn't be intimidated by these absolute Chads?

No matter how you spin it, a couple of marines got BTFO by some soyboys.

The American military ain't shit.

Please find and watch the chicago (I think) antifa fitness video.

Ahh foxnews.com and /r/Drama, internet for people who know they've hit bottom.

Yea but the benzos make you more functioning than the former

Got it. Antifa are racists.

the real racists yes

local antifa chapter leader

The absolute state

it's over for antifacels

I miss r/antifa

Exxxxcellent! Mr. Burns Voice

Tankies Gunna Tank

...........███ ]▄▄▄▄▄▃ ..▂▄▅█████▅▄▃▂ [███████████████] ◥⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲⊙◤

Joseph Alcoff, a 37-year-old who is believed to be the Antifa leader

lol

Reminder that leftists are vermin

Leftoids and Rightoids are vermin

Right wingers actually care about their nation and their people, unlike commies

caring about America or amerimutts

🤣🤣🤣

thinking any Americans care for anyone other than themselves

😂

Sounds pretty gay my dude

REEEEE SERIOUSPOSTER OUT

Cause everybody knows Antifa is organized in chapters 😂 but what should one expect from fox

Mr. Jefferson IRL

Horseshoe strikes again.

Local Chapter Master of Soy Marines charged ? I hope inquisition is onto the task.

Do marines not carry guns? Imagine if they just executed them when they tried to attack.

"what's an ethnic intimidation charge" and what are the consequences?

Fuckin Francis Dolarhyde lip.

So you mean you can beat up minorities because you thought they were white? INTEREDASTING

"Antiracist" "antifascists" surround and beat minorities while calling them spics and wetbacks.

Where's the twist?

It's like republicana who are super anti gay but in reality are gay themselves this is the lefts version and fuck off with your spell check reddit it sucks