r/drama: NFL Owner Robert Kraft caught paying for gussy 😩

I doubt the typical golddigger can match the experience of going to a dingy Asian massage parlor in a nondescript shopping center to get a rub down from Peaches

1 demonkobra 2019-02-22

blue collar elbow grease

1 heavenlytoaster 2019-02-22

Proud employer of all flavors of PoC

1 heavenlytoaster 2019-02-22

Proud employer of all flavors of PoC

1 lol_te_gusto 2019-02-22

You imply gussy is the issue, to which I agree.

1 throwaway-familyhelp 2019-02-22

Sometimes you just want greasy fast food instead of having to sit down for a 5 course meal.

1 NumerousEvent 2019-02-22

He's got his gold digger (Ricki Lander). He probably just wants some strange on the side but doesn't want to get Stormy Daniels'd. An FOB Asian chick just thinks he's a filthy ol' bastard, not a filthy rich ol' bastard.

1 Osterion 2019-02-22

He probably gets off knowing they were trafficked

1 ManBearFridge 2019-02-22

Bargain bin levels too. They were charging $79 per hour.

1 wealthy_piano 2019-02-22

You don't become a billionaire by wasting money

1 ManBearFridge 2019-02-22

You get STDs by being cheap

1 lol_te_gusto 2019-02-22

Get rich or die tryin'

1 Senator_Chickpea 2019-02-22

Muh hard salary cap

1 Fielder57 2019-02-22

When Charlie Sheen was caught with hookers the judge asked him why a man like him would pay for sex. His reply was 'I don't pay them for sex. I pay them to leave afterwards'.

1 Do_a_pushup 2019-02-22

I'm pretty sure that joke is older than Charlie Sheen.

1 Vladith 2019-02-22

Wealthy men love sex work because prostitutes don't speak to gossip magazines.

1 ImDumbLmao 2019-02-22

one word: based & redpilled

1 TehAlpacalypse 2019-02-22

i wish i had a live stream of Gooddell's office reacting to this news

1 ImDumbLmao 2019-02-22

He's probably into financial domination

1 shitpost953 2019-02-22

really makes you 🤔

1 ArtisanalCollabo 2019-02-22

Lol the Kraft group is different than Kraft Heinz so this is fairly hilarious

1 Osterion 2019-02-22

What a weird coincidence. A bad day for Kraftcels

1 heretobefriends 2019-02-22

I know the majority of that drop was because of their earnings report, but I wonder how much was algorithms seeing "kraft" in negative press and selling.

1 Osterion 2019-02-22

The article came out before the prostitution bomb dropped, but yeah I'm sure someone sold out of confusion

1 Matthew94 2019-02-22

Buffet should have invested om Bitcoin.

1 shitpost953 2019-02-22

o rly 😏

1 Osterion 2019-02-22

For a Craft to rise, a Kraft must fall.

1 Michelanvalo 2019-02-22

That's not him.

1 TreLoon 2019-02-22

Yes that's the point, it's unrelated but still possibly influenced by his name being in headlines.

1 ImDumbLmao 2019-02-22

So buy?

1 rnjbond 2019-02-22

Or by missing earnings, writing down their major brands by several billion, disclosing an SEC investigation, and slashing their dividend

1 TreLoon 2019-02-22

🚨 Nestle shillbot detected 🚨

1 a-corporate-democrat 2019-02-22

nerd

1 uniqueguy263 2019-02-22

It's over for completely-unrelated-lbo-monstrosity-under-SEC-investigation-cels

1 do_a_humanflag 2019-02-22

what she look like?

1 Cuckmeister 2019-02-22

Asian probably

1 Chapocel 2019-02-22

Same same

1 do_a_humanflag 2019-02-22

hopefully of legal age

1 Osterion 2019-02-22

Patriots fans discussing the fate of granddaddy here

1 Osterion 2019-02-22

Lmao it was with Chinese gussy. I can't wait for the Asian uncle subs posts

1 freet0 2019-02-22

At least hes doing his part in mayocide

1 Honk4Tits 2019-02-22

Kraft makes Mayo, it's all connected.

1 lol_te_gusto 2019-02-22

that's why there's a war on china

1 -Shank- 2019-02-22

Where's Snappy with the "my bloodline about to turn into a riceline" quote

1 notcyberpope 2019-02-22

Yikes imagine going to a rub and tug

1 JamesRobotoMD 2019-02-22

Kraft went right from a Trump fundraiser to get a handy from a sex trafficked illegal immigrant. What a time to be alive.

1 Chapocel 2019-02-22

The term is migrant, you mellon farmer

1 sadderreborn 2019-02-22

Shut the fuck up coolie

1 silvertongue93 2019-02-22

This is what happens when he tries to save a few dollars by buying Asian hoes at a strip mall parlor instead of having some high end hoes brought to his mansion.

1 TehAlpacalypse 2019-02-22

next thing we gonna find out he was dm'ing people on kik

1 Bluest_waters 2019-02-22

Right? like wtf?

you got all the money in the world and you dont spend a little to make sure you aint' busted like some common drunken factory worker in an alley with a meth whore?

Someone get tom brady on the line, we need insight into this situation

1 silvertongue93 2019-02-22

Prostitution isn't in the TB12 method lol

1 Bluest_waters 2019-02-22

well it keeps an 87 year old's dick hard

so TB12 method might just work!

1 skomes99 2019-02-22

Its probably safer to go to an asian parlor where nobody will recognize him rather than call some expensive whore to his mansion who will definitely recognize him.

The latter exposes you to blackmail more easily.

1 AlveolarPressure 2019-02-22

Does anybody really care when billionaires pay for high end escorts? They don't typically get in any trouble for doing that so it has pretty low risk. Plus the high end hoes tend to be discreet since they know that's the only way to keep the money flowing. Meanwhile hitting up some sketchy place opened him up to the possibility that the cops were keeping tabs on it and he ended up getting busted.

1 skomes99 2019-02-22

Does anybody really care when billionaires pay for high end escorts?

Definitely yes. Gossip magazines? Tabloids?

Plus the high end hoes tend to be discreet since they know that's the only way to keep the money flowing

It only takes 1 nude photo to be blackmailed forever though

Meanwhile hitting up some sketchy place opened him up to the possibility that the cops were keeping tabs on it and he ended up getting busted

Yes, this was definitely a stupid move.

1 AlveolarPressure 2019-02-22

Ok yeah people care as far as gossip but it's not like billionaires normally get arrested for hiring high end escorts.

1 TehAlpacalypse 2019-02-22

Cause usually the expensive ones aren’t being sex trafficked.

1 Metatron58 2019-02-22

It only takes 1 nude photo to be blackmailed forever though

I can't imagine he would care about a nude photo. I mean it's just old man nude which is gross anyways. Like yeah go ahead and release my nude 77 year old man body. If I was him I could not possibly give less of a shit about nude photo blackmail.

1 dronepore 2019-02-22

Safer to goto a seedy rub and tug joint staffed by malnourished sex slaves. Drama logic at its best.

1 free_borf 2019-02-22

it's just a rub and tug breh

1 Potatoe_away 2019-02-22

Literally could have gone on that sugar baby website and had that shit delivered to a hotel room like a pizza. Damn boomers.

1 silvertongue93 2019-02-22

Oldcels BTFO!

1 headasplodes 2019-02-22

charged w/ soliciting a prostitute in Orchids of Asia day spa raid

This makes it sound like he got unlucky and a swat team burst through the door as he was saying "I will pay you $1000 for a handjob"

1 TehAlpacalypse 2019-02-22

evidently they have a video, so this is the second video of an octogenarian interacting with a prostitute I desperately want to see

1 Volhar 2019-02-22

Having billions of dollars and still stuck paying 70$ for some sex slave to jerk you off.

oof

1 OstrakaSocratis 2019-02-22

Some good news for AFL East-ers. I’m willing to bet a few shekels in a few weeks they’ll be a pig push to remove him as an owner

1 TheButtholeOfBravery 2019-02-22

That's IT

NO MORE KRAFT MAC AND CHEESE DINNERS FOR ME

IN SOLIDARITY ✊🌹

1 unrulyfarmhand 2019-02-22

throwin it all away for a lil bit of sideways gussy

1 CordialCalamity 2019-02-22

The NFL is boring as fuck and so is anyone who cares about it. This is literally more exciting than any NFL game.

1 A4GrandDaddy 2019-02-22

Shut up nerd!

1 CordialCalamity 2019-02-22

he insulted my sport, I bet he hates all sports

lol okay enjoy your CTE bud

1 TSwizzlesNipples 2019-02-22

He was just there to deflate some balls...

1 MikeStoklasaAlcohol 2019-02-22

It's over for Patriots-cels right? Please

1 capthazelwoodsflask 2019-02-22

One can only hope.

1 RandolphCox 2019-02-22

this is to combat the gay rumors when tom brady kissed him and rubbed his head

1 TehAlpacalypse 2019-02-22

Getting arrested to own the haters

1 ClydeMason1911 2019-02-22

“New England Patriots owner supports sex workers, and here’s my that’s a good thing.”

1 BallersFL2017 2019-02-22

He's a billionaire. Pay any random chick you think is cute that you see a picture of on the internet $5,000 or so and she'll do it willingly with an NDA. Money certainly doesn't make people smarter. But Kraft is also a Zionist and believes, for good reason, he can get away with anything.

1 pm_me_vegs 2019-02-22

He didn't pay for the gussy, he paid for the gussy to leave.

1 carnivoreinyeg 2019-02-22

You're a billionaire. Pay them to come to you dummy.

1 JumbledFun 2019-02-22

Not just paying for gussy, but caught up in a trafficking sting. This wasn't a normal prostitution bust. Trafficking stings usually involve underage prostitution or immigrants being kept against their will. This shit is going to get a lot darker as more details come out

1 gobbledegooke 2019-02-22

Don't they just call every prostitution bust a human trafficking bust nowadays?

1 geraldo42 2019-02-22

Yep. It's dumb as fuck. That word means next to nothing now.

1 Woolgun 2019-02-22

This shit is lot bigger than just this guy, it was part of human trafficking ring investigation

Martin County Sheriff says the women involved in human trafficking ring were given no days off. They averaged about 1,500 men a year. He says their hygiene was “minimal” at best

1 crocodiledicks69 2019-02-22

Imagine being the 5th guy some Asian chick has tugged off that day without washing her hands

1 Woolgun 2019-02-22

tugged off

That's the best case scenario too, really.

1 AlveolarPressure 2019-02-22

Maybe the possibility of getting super herpes is what gets him off

1 Poolooloo 2019-02-22

What does that mean? Did they not shave their gussies?

1 prizzle92 2019-02-22

most Chinese girls don’t. I can’t imagine the hookers are any different

1 elftor421 2019-02-22

it'd be like opening a grilled cheese sandwich

1 Vladith 2019-02-22

the surprising word in that sentence is "caught"

1 MG87 2019-02-22

He's a literal Cuck too

1 transgirltradwife 2019-02-22

That's great. I want to see evidence though.

1 MG87 2019-02-22

https://www.bostonglobe.com/lifestyle/names/2018/02/28/robert-kraft-again-off-again-girlfriend-had-baby-and-may-may-not-his/UzuaAsjCYbF5kJrOl4cH0N/story.html

1 actualstrawman 2019-02-22

This has been a great year for billionaircels cucking themselves.

1 MrGoodieMob 2019-02-22

never forget putin stole one of his super bowl rings right in front of him and he didn't do shit to stop it

1 lol_te_gusto 2019-02-22

Xussy4Hire should be legalized, regulated, taxed, hevily fined and under strict control. While also discouraged with mental health professionals under scrict observation.

1 lol_te_gusto 2019-02-22

Gender of peace's kryptonite, paid gussy!!

1 4thofJulythrowaway 2019-02-22

Pats fans in my groupchat have been suspiciously silent all day despite this news being plastered all over the chat at 9am sharp.

1 THRWWAY2AVOIDRAGE 2019-02-22

I don't keep up with your retard speak. Is gussy a new one?

1 Agenda_Poster 2019-02-22

Yes it was literally just created and it makes me sick 🤢🤢🤢