On 9/5/18 I met my best friend. Nearly 5 months later she gave birth to a healthy baby boy. Just a reminder that being a father is not about “blood” but about being available with unconditional love and support

Snapshots:

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I really wish Snappy would source his quotes, that is a thread I want to see

Imagine not being constantly on /r/drama and seeing every thread ever linked

What a loser lmao

https://www.removeddit.com/r/aww/comments/apn9vn/on_9518_i_met_my_best_friend_nearly_5_months/

What an amazing thread

The only way to pretend such degeneracy is to purge both people on the left and the right, so there won't be any disagreement with each other.

R A D I C AL

D U D E

You mean to prevent?

Yeah, that

who the fuck uses fabric softener? isn't that just like toxic-cancer-chemicals that Procter and Gamble decided to market as a MUST HAVE for your laundry?

I’m not sure if it still does but my mom taught me to never use it because it’ll end up ruining your clothes.

My mother always told me that too.

I own a lot of clothing that outright says 'do not apply fabric softener' so there must be some truth to that.

Do you put it on your bussy tho.

I'm insulted. My bussy is always soft and I don't need no fabric softener.

That’s not what the other boys told me.

They're hate us cause they anus

My mom used Suavitel fabric softener so I got ripped on in school for smelling like a trashy Mexican girl at her Quinceanera

Hoky fuck I remember the Suavitel life 😂

Some kids in my class had their uniform shirts washed with a fabric softener that made white shirts blue.

Damn that’s crazy

I literally wouldn't know how to use fabric softener if you put me in front of a washing machine with a gun to my head.

Based and laundry pilled

More like based and laundry poded

Zoomers btfo

I just pour it into the place where you pour the liquids.

My washer has a special slot.

ya her asshole bboooommmmm

agooosshhhh

😳😳😳🤢🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮

Ohhhhhh!

Gussy-bussy? I'm conflicted.

You put it in on the rinse cycle you uncultured swine

Lmao

im literally wasting time researching this. it can be done after the wash with a liquid or during the dryer cycle with a dryer sheet.

must 'tumble-dryers' produce a natural softening thru the tumbling so the dryer sheets are generally more for anti-static and perfume.

the liquid stuff can be made out of stuff like beef tallow. so its basically smothering your clothes in perfumed-animal-fat

The dryer sheets leave a waxy residue that's slightly water resistant; that's why you NEVER use dryer sheets with your towels

Thanks for the advice mom

You're welcome. The tendies are in the microwave if you get hungry later tonight.

I would've lit my mother on fire if she microwaved my twenties.

Based and sutteepilled.

They’re just there to keep the cats off them; i taught you how to use the broiler remember sweetie? Just make sure you turn it off when you’re done

Is there anything worse than a non absorbent towel, when it's like trying to dry yourself with a plastic bag?

Yeah

A non absorbent, abrasive towel.

AIDS.

That’s actually good advise.

basically smothering your clothes in perfumed-animal-fat

Wtf, I love fabric softener now??

My laundry machine has a space labelled "Softener", I just went into the laundry room and looked. My wife's going to be mad that I entered her domain.

You got a trad wife? Nice....

not washing your own clothes

Cringe and Manchildpilled

not having other people washing your clothes

cucked

Pretty close.

Trad wife (male)? Niceee....

I unironically wish my fiancé was more trad.

Honestly you shouldn't use it. It works by coating your clothes with waxy chemicals, which means it's easier to get dirty and harder to get clean. All for slightly softer fabric.

I am convinced that fabric softener is a conspiracy created by clothing and towel companies to render your clothes shittier faster and force you to buy more.

All for slightly softer fabric.

I enjoy my underwear slightly softer, tyvm

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Fabric softener supporters are shilling for Big Laundry

I just throw in gilette razors

Really makes your laundry woke.

shut up cant let the goyim stop buying my softener

These theories are getting more and more interesting by the day

literally prove him wrong

i fucking dare you

who the fuck uses fabric softener?

I have never even seen fabric softener before. I just take my clothes down to the river and leave them gently gyrating tied to some paracord for a couple hours.

The only person I know of who uses it is my grandma. And hers is so old the label even looks dated. When she tried to pawn it off on my mom, Mom said no so she doesn't use it either. What is even the point of it?

Maybe they want to ingest it. That may explain their intellectual disabilities.

I do...we couldn't afford it when I was a kid so it's a small luxury for me and it smells really really really good and makes your blankets sooooo soft. I use Downy Unstoppables too. I know I probably shouldn't use all this shit on my clothes all the time but I'm a mindless consumer for stuff that smells good ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

(((Procter and Gamble)))

'non toxic' is a marketing tactic, not an actual property

I mean what else is P&G gonna do with all the leftover tallow from soap production?

https://www.google.com/amp/amp.timeinc.net/fortune/2016/12/16/millennials-fabric-softener-downy

Your mom throws a dryer sheet in the dryer when she does your laundry for you. Now put down the controller and look for a job. For Christ's sake you're 28 years old.

1. Juice boxes distributed at the beginning of every lecture

All these issues can be solved by daddy Yang's pocket money💰💰💰

Are juice boxes included in Yang's reparations proposal though?

Daddy Yang doesn't care what you spend your neetbux on, so you can buy all the tendies and juice you want

But I thought Oppa Yang doesn’t like the juice

What about Nintendo switches? Are those for year end evaluations only?

5) vape break every three classes.

)5

Honestly I’d ask for allowing people to vape IN class (provided you don’t do stupid shit like make massive clouds). If second hand vape is a concern, fund a study on the effects of vaping.

No. Vape in class whenever

Honestly I’d have voted for that all day. A cheap simple and manageable measure that can benefit all students consistently.

The college could even add in some vitamins or supplements while they’re at it, god knows most students could do with them!

The only problem I see is the shitstorm it’ll take to get people to agree on juice with bits exclusively.

The only problem I see is the shitstorm it’ll take to get people to agree on juice with bits exclusively.

No bits or pulp.

Fight me.

Fight you? I’ll jjst take my big bros taser and shock you till you’re normal again bit boy

The compromise solution is a taser fight.

Fight me.

should be easy because you can't handle any pulp in your juice, you giant fucking pussy. Real men just have juice flavored woodchips and we fucking like it.

The snuggle is real

I'd be down for that.

Isn't Sarah Lawrence a rich kid lesbian school?

Leftoid Foid Destroyed

Lefstroid

destroid

Yes. I'd wager the vast majority of their students attended a prep school.

Imagine unironically going to Sarah Lawrence college.

You'd really have to love eating unwashed, bushy beav.

It adds an earthquake flavor okay

😳😳🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮

Hot.

I was layin pipe to a chick that was getting an english degree from there, she works at a wedding venue as a rental manager now.

Cool story bro. Why don’t you tell it again.

Sure!

I was layin pipe to a chick that was getting an english degree from there, she works at a wedding venue as a rental manager now.

Based and heteropilled

It's over for 'cool story bro'-cels.

Gussy

Ew

congrats on the rape charge

how do I unsubscribe from this faggot's blog?

She deserves less

They actually provide a pretty good education FWIW. Beats the hell out of the 300 person lecture hall and recitations taught by heavily accented Chinese graduate students.

What a field day for the heat

Gonna need more softener for my sheets

Stop! Hey! what's that sound?

Watch my laundry spinning round.....

The fight for social justice will never end, brothers, sisters, and people beyond the binary! We are the 21st century civil rights movement! Fight hate!

Missed two lines >:(

The most infurating part about this is the section numbering style they used in the linked demands:

1. 1. 2.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME? WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS You use

1. 1.1 1.2

maybe even

1. a) b)

you fucking sociopaths.

How can you entitled shitbirds have the audacity to demand human rights when you not just simply lack any semblance of humanity, you're antithetical to to very idea?

These are Sarah Lawrence students. So they are not the best and brightest. They pretty much let anyone in. Like ASU.

I take it these students are on par with Evergreen State College? A college that doesn't even give out actual grades?

Pretty close to that I would guess. Maybe not 100% evergreen tier but pretty damn close.

I know of someone who graduated from Evergreen State College with a degree in "Pirate", because you could make your own degree. I don't believe this person is pirating as a career, but I could be wrong....

So 95% of employers are throwing that resume right in the trash.

I hope you're considering the other 5% of employers are actual pirates. Other than that, they're all throwing her resume in the trash.

Pirate or pirate sympathizers

You sure ye ain't got any room in yer crew for an old salt?

Fittingly, any job he gets will probably refer to him as a “crew member”

I did a summer program at SLC years back. It's harder to get into for sure, but holyyyy shit is it similar to Evergreen. They had meetings constantly about intersectional shit and the LGBT acronym they used had like 9+ letters. I have a picture of it

I)

A)

    1)
    2)

        i)

        ii)

            a)

II)

Aside from the inherent shittiness of phoneposting this, if anyone has a different way of doing this OR GOD FORBID A PROBLEM WITH THIS then I will fucking fight you.

And I will FUCKING destroy you.

Imagine not knowing how markdown works

Learning markdown just to say

B U S S Y

seems like... actually pretty good use of my time.

Your inde tation is too large.

Wrong. The supreme law of the land has made a determination on the correct formatting in 1 CFR § 21.11 (h). If you don't follow it, you have to go back.

Why not go

...
2)
    a)
    b)
          i)
          ii)

instead? You're doing number, letter, number, number, letter.

Send me your address, because I must fight you.

192.168.1.1

::1

neerrrrrddddd

Just adopt JSON notation and be done with it. We already solved this problem.

1. These are college students

   1. They are stupid as shit

      1.6 Lol free housing with only $30k purchase 
      

   2.7 masterlawlz

fuck me sideways that's an ugly comment

1. No 7a (tax law exclusions) 3b. U. Even

   2c can't. 920.574.43eo rip mobile users

Not as ugly as the whore i fucked last night..... with... your? Name? WTF

Or 1. i. And ii.

Liberal arts college students: Why is college so expensive? How am I supposed to pay this 250k of debt off with a degree in Egyptian Genderfluid Interpretive Puppeteering?

Also Liberal arts college students: I demand you pay all of my living costs to a level well above the standard of living for most of this country.

Boy howdy are my almonds activated

Paging /u/the_reason_trump_won

Hey! We can't page no more

We can if they're on the ping list.

Everyone is on a list.

When your famous they let you

Lmao, r/drama castrated. How will they ever cope

Admin revolution

So what you’re saying is if I take a STEM course I’ll get free laundry. Wow this degree is so worth it.

Your comment reminded me of a story from years ago, in which students at MIT set up a way to check if the laundry facilities were available.

Did anyone read the article the professor wrote that got them upset? It's better written but also idiotic in its own way, a lot of wahing about how the kids these days don't want to do right leaning activities. Like anyone wants to hang around with anyone of college age that's already identifying as conservative.

why?

I had a bunch of friends that went to Colorado State University. Every time I went to a party up there, the rural hunter kids were hanging out with the crunchy granola kids. One time there was a spread of a bunch of shitty hippie food alongside a whole shit ton of elk that a redneck killed. It's almost like normal people can get along with people of different political persuasions.

It's almost like normal people can get along with people of different political persuasions.

Sounds pretty boring tbh

Better to just hang out at Sarah Lawrence then

Nope, no one read it. Not even you.

He was talking about college administrative staff, not students.

Yeah, and how they're only organising events that in his mind cater to a left-leaning demographic, when really they're just appealing to the zeitgeist of people that age. I don't get the point you're trying to make other than "I'm a cunt".

Why would I make the point that you're a cunt? It's in your username, I don't need to point that out.

But yeah, you're right. College is meant to be a place to reinforce your existing biases, not to be exposed to differing viewpoints and learn critical thinking.

I mean, I know the whole differing viewpoints thing is a meme now, but have you considered that blandly regurgitating it suggests that if you went to college you probably didn't learn any critical thinking.

if you went to college you probably didn't learn any critical thinking.

I mean, obviously, but this was a statement about how college should be, not how it actually is.

Look, I'd tell you not to be a loser your entire life, but I don't think you'd pay any attention, but either way can you avoid spraying your retarded opinions over me until you've learned to be less of an abject cuck.

Not an argument

I'll turn myself in at the nearest police station

To me this just seems like college students being trifty. They see an opportunity to get their expenses reduced and they take it, it's not being an snowflake, it's taking advantage of snowflakery to save money which is genius

Based and frugalpilled

To me this just seems like college students being trifty. They see an opportunity to get their expenses reduced and they take it, it's not being an snowflake, it's taking advantage of snowflakery to save money which is genius

But it doesn't save them money at all, the college will just raise tuition to cover for it

You have a very optimistic way of looking at life if you think students at a liberal arts college are self aware

One new Latinx therapist

When you're so triggered by grammatical gender that you have to replace letters.

It's over for romance languagecels

I think English is the exception among major European languages for not having genders. Aside all the romance languages, Russian, German, and Greek all have genders.

Aside all the romance languages, Russian, German, and Greek all have genders.

And yet retards say english is hard to learn when its structure is basic as fuck.

Yeah, some words might be spelled strangely but people'll still get the gist of what you're saying.

The structure is basic but vocabulary and spelling are fucked with a mix of Germanic, Latin and Greek roots.

English grammar is much more difficult to grasp though and has tons of exceptions but thankfully the retards in our country can't even use proper grammar so you'll fit right in if you don't understand it.

English has three problems (as an ESL speaker; for reference, I am Italian and I am B2/C1 in German):

1) The vocabulary is immense and very varied, with many different nuances and shades of meaning;

2) The pronunciation is a nightmare;

3) Much harder to infer the meaning of a new word through ethymology.

For example, to survive is überleben in German (über = over + leben = to live) and sopravvivere in Italian (sopra = over + vivere = to live) so if I know what the two words mean I can ger a sense of the meaning. In English sur = ? vive = ?

Sur = over

Vive = live

Yeah, but those are both mangled French loanwords. "Sur' doesn't mean anything by itself in English, whereas "über" and "sopra" are both words in their respective languages.

Mangled? Sur and vive are both perfectly valid words in French, and their meaning is the same. And there are other words in English that follow the exact same rules (surcharge, surplus, survey, and vivid off the top of my head.)

Fair, but we do give loaned roots retarded acquired meanings sometimes.

Supervise -> above + vision = to manage, direct, watch over

Alright

Oversee -> above + vision = to manage, direct, watch over

Different roots, but I think I get this English thing

Overlook -> above + vision = miss, ignore

???

I think you'll find that overlook can also mean a view from above and through that can also mean the same thing as oversee/supervise/look over. Autoantonyms.

I’ll look over those reports again to make sure I didn’t overlook anything.

Fucking hell

Oh I understand the ethymology, my point was that it was not „internal“, so to speak. If I know how to say „over“ and „live“ in English, I cannot infer the meaning of „survive“, like I can for Italian or German.

very varied

We also have a lot of homophones.

The pronunciation is just hard so we can see if you can handle the banter of us making fun of you mispronouncing stuff.

Much harder to infer the meaning of a new word through ethymology.

HUH?

Literally about 80% of all the words in the standard English dictionary are derived from latin. It should be pretty fucking close to the same in Italian, so I think really you're just fucking stupid.

Try leaning something like Japanese where they have literally 13 different counting systems based on the size and shape of the fucking shit you are counting.

Literally about 80% of all the words in the standard English dictionary are derived from Latin. It should be pretty fucking close to the same in Italian, so I think really you're just fucking stupid.

I think you did not get my point. Italian and German have generally an ethymology which is „internal“, therefore words tend to come from words still used in the language. That is not the same (as much) in English, where words are much more borrowed around. Sur and vive do not mean anything in English; über/sopra and leben/vivere have meanings in German/Italian.

Try learning something like Japanese where they have 13 different counting systems based on the size and shape of the fucking shit you are counting.

I try to learn Chinese as I lived in China actually! That‘s probably why German seemed so easy.

As a filthy monolinguist:

1. Since there's no "official" governing body it absorbs loanwords and newly constructed words governed really just by mass adoption. As the global lingua franca it gets the most exposure to those possibilities. In a lot of formerly colonized parts of the third world there may be a dozen native languages in one region so the educated will just use English.

2. It wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for all those loanwords lol. My experience is that while the pronunciation is consistent on syllable basis just intuitively learning the rules took me at least a decade.

3. I thought learning some Latin would help. It did not. Spanish would have been more useful. While etymology does show a connection to a root, the nature of that connection can be ridiculously esoteric. For example, a tenet is a principle you strongly adhere to. In Latin it means "he (it?) holds", but holding can refer to many things of which an abstract idea is but one.

I mean dude English lmao. You can just make the word "bussy" and it works as long as people know wtf you're talking about. I don't think most languages "allow" that.

Hindi and a few other indian languages have genders too. Its a fucking pain in the ass if youre not a native speaker.

indian and european languages have genders in language

indians and europeans are two parts of the indo-ARYAN group

Genders in languages are white supremacy confirmed

why someone would learn the poo language?

ed needs somebody to talk to

coon ass

nigga ur nigga?

Google is your friend.

no u

😘😊😘😊😘

In germany they replace letters with symbols, e.g. instead of "Bürger" they now write "Bürger*innen".

isnt this actually cultural appropriation

Yeah lmao my Colombian friend constantly complains about that bullshit

I believe the term is "linguistic imperialism".

We demand a mandatory first-year orientation session about intellectual elitism and classism.

Yep, it all makes sense now.

"Hi everyone, this is the mandatory seminar on intellectual elitism. As you're all attending Sarah Lawrence, you're definitely not part of the intellectual elite - and therefore you have nothing to worry about! That concludes the seminar."

These brave advocates for racially segregated housing & fabric softener cannot be ignored.

Ethno-laundry

It's over for low thread countcels

Absolute fucking insanity.

Sarah Lawrence has one of the highest tuition fees in the country. I think they should be cleaning their students clothes for them.

Retards. Rights aren’t granted to you by your private college, the government has to provide them. And IS housing a right in the US? Would that make homeless people a weird anomaly?

I'm always amazed when Americans bitch about the cost of housing. It's amazing what you can get in the US in terms of income and purchasing power.

Okay, so I'm reading the full demands.

Imagine being this entitled. Imagine not believing in the basic human right of free speech. I hope to god none of these people try to run for president someday because I'm scared of what people who don't believe in free speech will do--or try to do--to that freedom.

Imagine believing in basic human rights

#spooked amiright lmao

Believing in natural rights is retarded, but there is no doubt that a majority, or at least of plurality of burgers are willing to defend that particular spook.

I bet there's a simulation running where the participants are having unlimited sex and yet here I am being run in this shit simulation.

GET ME OUT

OPRESSION

Young people. lol

They will give up the fabric softener once they realize it prevents the sharts from being absorbed.

The seven sister schools, aka the Seven Scissoring schools

Have these kids’ dads explained to them that the tuition he pays is just going to go up if the school pays for all this shit?

buyjng into the fabric softener scam

Nice, way to get them in early tide

Hurr durr pun patrol whatever

There is no person I hate more than the mayo liberal

Did anyone read the article that professor wrote for the New York Times? It was literally the tamest shit I've ever read--tamer than what Jordan Peterson or Brett Weinstein opined that got them hounded by whiny college bitch mobs even. Pretty much all he said was that colleges are dominated by left-leaning professors and (increasingly) left-leaning administrators who host events talking about typical mayo SJW shit with no ideological debate or alternative whatsoever. Then he argued in favor of viewpoint diversity. That's it. It's the biggest nothing-burger I've ever seen.

That's it.

That's literally everything. Viewpoint diversity is literally Nazism.

Yup, that was my take away. Basically he was saying "think for yourselves and don't take everything at face value" and people are triggered! And really, shouldn't that be some of the reason you go to college and why there should be a focus on critical thinking? (Also, I'm embarrassed I used the word "triggered" because it's so ridiculous, but I know that's what the kids are using these days).

So, my company is big on lame ass employee clubs or whatever, and i was in a room and the gay club pres was talking about having an "anonymous" survey for the office around acceptance or whatever.

​

So I immediately called it a trap, which it was. She responded with, "I mean you'd have to say so many [insert a list of hip ists/isms] things before anything got done."

​

Yea, well, the people reading these things might not be the most reasonable. So, best case is i fill this survey out and i get to keep my job, and worst is i get into trouble for wrong think or fired. I can attain the best case results by not filling out the survey with no risk.

Are you employed as a high school student? What type of company has “clubs”?

Nope. Work for a big chemical company.

I bought some generic fabric softener recently and it smells just like cum.

Which is annoying, because that's often the smell I'm trying to get out of my clothes.

Imagine reading this and not getting authoritarian tendencies

My clothes had three piles in college.

Clean. Dirty. And Dirty but can wear again.

Fabric softener wasn't even a fever dream idea then.

And Dirty but can wear again=Clirty

I'm convinced as long as you shower regularly, and dont spill shit on yourself jeans can be worn like 15 times before washing.

Mr Levi or whoever the fuck from Levi's recently came out and said jeans should NEVER be washed or something like that.

What about the fourth pile where YOU STOLE THIS JOKE DIRECTLY FROM SINBAD???

I feel horrible knowing my life was a joke to a 90's comedian.

13.) Fresh Orange slices at recess

This makes me question how stupid people my age are holy shit

I'd just like to add, as a student at Sarah Lawrence, not everyone agrees with this dumbass protest and all of their demands.

I agree with a lot of the demands on a social and political basis (I'm as far left as they come nowadays), but I've been mocking the everliving shit out of "we demand laundry detergent" since this started on Monday.

Not only are the demands stupid, but this protest accompanying the demands, is basically a party. There's bass boosted music, dancing, snacks, people being loud as shit banging pots and pans, and it was, originally, an invitation only sort of thing until it blew up.

I'm just glad it's nearly spring break here so they'll all fuck off for a few days.

I'm trying to not get a terminal case of cancer thank you very much

We all have to make sacrifices in the name of drama

Not only are some of the demands stupid, but this protest accompanying the demands, is basically a party. There's bass boosted music, dancing, snacks, people being loud as shit banging pots and pans, and it was, originally, an invitation only sort of thing until it blew up.

I'm actually gaining respect for these twats

Sarah Lawrence: where the protesters all have Busch Light but never light bush.

>im a student at sarah lawrence

>we dont agree with everything they are demanding

>but still agree with a lot of the retarded demands

Not all of them are "durr free laundry detergent" tier, and I wish the school could afford half this shit. Like I said, I'm a leftist, so a lot of the shit aligns with what I want. But a lot of it is also "durr free laundry detergent" and "free housing for everyone reeeee".

Difference between myself and the protestors is that I don't, in any world, believe the college will ever consider more than three of these demands. Nor could the college afford to.

Their non free shit demands are retarded too.

Imagine agree with any of the demands 😂😂😂😂

Liberal arts students are lower than the dog shit on my boots

frankly i don’t see how that’s supposed to be a bad thing

fabric softener is good

The conservative teaches math. Nothing can be more political than number theory.

More like liberals can't do math, so they had no choice but to hire a conservative.

Where's Ben Shapiro when you need him

Honestly lmaooing at America what even is that fucking country. These people should be locked in rooms and have testimonies of people who have normal lives, their trials and tribulations, the problems people who arent completely retarded faggots who would kill themselves if they were to feel anything but complete comfort and contentment blasted in their ears 24/7.

These people are the walking embodiment of nietzches last men, the weakest people who have ever walked this planet.

Just gonna pretend this is fake

Should be free coloring books and fones too