Middle school race riot update

246  2019-03-21 by Redactor0

Remember that tussle at a Vancouver, WA middle school earlier this week? We're finally getting enough information to piece together what happened.

During a basketball game, one student went into the stands to confront another student about some dumb middle school shit. It was probably something really important like an argument over which Yu-Gi-Oh card is the best. A security guard starts dragging him away. Big mistake.

You see, it turns out the aggressor was black. Kids these days understand that if you don't have power and privilege then you're not really breaking the rules of the middle school basketball tournament. We actually have a good video clip of the moment when tempers flared.

Dozens of children followed the security guards outside and attacked them, forcing them to call up 33 law enforcement officers to come to their rescue. These young revolutionaries weren't willing to back down, however. The Oregonian details their hilariously ineffectual attempts to fight off the kkkops:

“One in particular,” wrote Sgt. Brian Ellithorpe in his report, “threw a pine cone toward the officer however due to the light weight of the pine cone it did not make it to the officer.”

Besides violence, the kids used their superior knowledge of the Amerikkkan legal system to stand up for their rights:

I asked [redacted] why he didn't leave the school when instructed to do so and he didn't think cops could make you leave a school.

Also, take note of the brutal actions of the police in the video on the Oregonian page. They took his whole damn shoe!

The Columbian gives us a few more details. The arrests numbered 9, including 2 for felonies. Fortunately these kids are too young and stupid to know to keep their mouths shut, so more information should spill out in the future.

Someone in the comments makes a bold attempt to turn the situation on its head:

First hand reports state that the argument started in the stands was due to one kid threatening to "shoot up the school". Unfortunately, some of those confronting him were arrested but he walked free.

So allegedly some mayo kid, perhaps a creepy weeb who never makes eye contact with anyone, threatened a school shooting. So then some black kid decided to solve that problem by picking a fight with him at a basketball tournament. Then the fucking pigs roll up and arrest him for his brave efforts to protect the school! What is this world coming to?

66 comments

1  SnapshillBot 2019-03-21

When the dramatards obsess over something, they do not let it go until it's completely torn apart. You're the pitbulls of people, but with less to contribute to society.

Snapshots:

  1. This Post - archive.org, megalodon.jp, removeddit.com, archive.is

  2. that tussle at a Vancouver, WA midd... - archive.org, megalodon.jp, removeddit.com, archive.is

  3. the moment when tempers flared - archive.org, megalodon.jp, archive.is

  4. The Oregonian - archive.org, megalodon.jp, archive.is

  5. The Columbian - archive.org, megalodon.jp, archive.is

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1  Redactor0 2019-03-21

Well sorry, Snaps. I thought it was dramatic enough to be worth 2 posts. 😒

1  Curbside_dental 2019-03-21

Throwing a pinecone is the fuck you of fuck you's.

1  pepperouchau 2019-03-21

It's over for deciduouscels

1  Lamar_Scrodum 2019-03-21

CONIFERS RISE UP

1  bott04 2019-03-21

Conferaceae

1  LSDawson 2019-03-21

ANGIOSPERMS OUT

1  Gil-Gandel 2019-03-21

Oak-ayy...

1  DoctorMort 2019-03-21

It kinda resembles a grenade, so I can understand the symbolism behind his effort.

1  Crumps_brother 2019-03-21

Everyone knows that you have to wait until at least late September for good throwing pine cones. Throwing spring pine cones is just retarded.

1  Inceltiers 2019-03-21

DEA PINECONES ARE RANDOM XDDDD

1  ImJustaBagofHammers 2019-03-21

Why didn't the melanincel just report the mayo?

1  Redactor0 2019-03-21

Really makes you 🤔🤔🤔. My guess is this the kids trying to make up a story to tell their parents.

1  HodorTheDoorHolder_ 2019-03-21

Lol it's such a believable lie too.

"Brenson said he was gonna shoot up the school so I told him he better not or I was gonna beat his ass. I only used to beat his ass before this because I knew he was gonna be a school shooter."

1  Coonass_alt 2019-03-21

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DrwNltXVAAAcGM2.jpg

1  HodorTheDoorHolder_ 2019-03-21

Clearly that kid deserved to be bullied

1  Coonass_alt 2019-03-21

Sure. But the bullies shouldn’t be able to be all sanctimonious about it.

1  HodorTheDoorHolder_ 2019-03-21

You can if you win the war.

1  dramasexual 2019-03-21

The only thing wrong with how he was treated at school was that he wasn't bullied more.

1  HostOfTheNightmare 2019-03-21

Who’s that in the picture?

1  Coonass_alt 2019-03-21

el goblina

1  N0ahface 2019-03-21

One of the Parkside kids I think

1  Minimum_T-Giraff 2019-03-21

Everybody deserves to get bullied. Being overly comfortable all the time builds bad character.

1  ron_burgendy6969 2019-03-21

damn how the fuck is reddit this honest all of a sudden

1  demotecontrol 2019-03-21

This is r/drama, which has aleays been this honest, and before you ask, yes, I have always been this erect.

1  ineed750bucks 2019-03-21

Based and Biff-pilled

1  pewpew17 2019-03-21

It

1  loli_esports 2019-03-21

Because that's snitching.

1  MarioBuzo 2019-03-21

I'm delighted by this whole piece of retardation. Tx OP.

1  Redactor0 2019-03-21

And thank you for recognizing the hustle, fam. 👍

1  jamesangleton 2019-03-21

Ty Redactor. You da boss.

1  FmW-41 2019-03-21

I'd read a weekly newspaper with that writing style, OP. Good shit 👌

1  Redactor0 2019-03-21

It's the retarded children who really deserve the credit. I couldn't have done this on my own. I'll remain vigilant checking my local news for drama to bring to the world, and I hope everyone else does too. We need all the spergouts, meltdowns, and assholes from the whole globe to make r/drama work.

1  White_Dudeness 2019-03-21

/u/redactor0 probably is some local newspaper redactor!

1  Redactor0 2019-03-21

I'm a censor for the War Department, making sure that our GIs don't expose any wartime secrets when they write letters to home.

1  ineedmorealts 2019-03-21

Is that still a thing in America? Like are there still censors who watch out going video calls and emails and shit and stop any naughty info from getting thru?

1  Redactor0 2019-03-21

That ended here in like 1945 and frankly I'm kind of embarrassed for you that you'd even ask 🤦‍♀️. One weird vestige of WW2 censorship still exists though in Israel. The newspapers can't say "we bombed a place in Syria" they have to say that "according to the Washington Post we bombed a place in Syria".

1  ineedmorealts 2019-03-21

That ended here in like 1945 and frankly I'm kind of embarrassed for you that you'd even ask

In my defense I've worked with former American soldiers and those lot seemed stupid enough to need a censor

1  Redactor0 2019-03-21

Tbh everyone on reddit does too. 😔

1  JustStopDude 2019-03-21

If they retired from the military...whether officer or enlisted...they are idiots that can't balance a checkbook.

1  unbanwoodser 2019-03-21

No. But if you're on base, or out to sea, and someone dies, they shut down outside communication.

1  JustStopDude 2019-03-21

What a minute... When the hell did they start allowing black people to live in the Pacific Northwest?!?

1  AntiLuke 2019-03-21

Washington's always allowed them. Oregon only started allowing them in 1926.

1  JustStopDude 2019-03-21

Hey now...there is a BIG difference between something not being written into law...and letting a black family move into your neighborhood and affecting the price of the houses...

I mean come on...the state flag looks like some 4chan neckbeard made kekistan flag for a unite the right rally.

1  THOT-AUDITOR 2019-03-21

We really should just make the Doug flag the new state flag. It'd both be a massive improvement over the green seal and also anger Oregonians, which is always a good thing.

1  cragfar 2019-03-21

If it wasn't for Rodney King, the cops would still have had their batons and could have dealt with that situation in a calm and collective manner.

1  UnexpectedLizard 2019-03-21

Yes but Rodney King brought us a whole generation's worth of drama. Totally worth it.

1  degorius 2019-03-21

You can see a cop wandering around with an asp out in one of the videos dude

1  seenten 2019-03-21

Can we slice off Vancouver and push it over to the Oregon side?

1  Redactor0 2019-03-21

Honestly that would be beneficial for us. Adding literally anyone to Portland's population who isn't a hipster or a homeless junkie would make it a nicer place.

1  stereomono1 2019-03-21

“[Redacted] stated he was mad cause his friend was arrested and didn't think it was right,” Sager wrote. “He stated; ‘The white kid started the fight, but all you pigs care about is killing blacks.’

18 unarmed black men killed by cops last year.

Literally one in a million.

Candace Pwnes

1  yomowhadoyaknow 2019-03-21

unironically praising candace owens. fken ediot

1  stereomono1 2019-03-21

you just dont know whats good for you

1  Zac1245 2019-03-21

Why do you hate black peoples.

1  Alicesnakebae 2019-03-21

Candace is people she's a woman

1  UBIisLazy 2019-03-21

Didn't candace cause that massacre in NZ?🤔

1  wow___justwow 2019-03-21

I think it was Trump & PewDiePie's leaked sex tape that really drove home the insanity.

1  jaredschaffer27 2019-03-21

38.9 million in 2010, according to wiki

Literally one in two million

1  capthazelwoodsflask 2019-03-21

“One in particular,” wrote Sgt. Brian Ellithorpe in his report, “threw a pine cone toward the officer however due to the light weight of the pine cone it did not make it to the officer.”

The officer would have been justified in shooting the kid tbqh.

1  WombTattoo 2019-03-21

It was probably something really important like an argument over which Yu-Gi-Oh card is the best.

How is that an argument. It is Blue Eyes White Dragon. Kaiba says so multiple times. It's canon.

1  Redactor0 2019-03-21

I'm from the MtG generation so all I remember is that a Black Lotus is really good.

1  KingWayneX 2019-03-21

You old.

Royal assassin

1  BumwineBaudelaire 2019-03-21

a weeb 1. Went to a basketball game and 2. Started blabbing about shooting uo the school at the game

two extremely likely things that happened

1  ThatGuy721 2019-03-21

Most weebs are attention seeking retards so I can honestly believe some middle school kid would do this to get people to notice him.

1  fernguts 2019-03-21

That was the lamest race riot ever. Zoomers are a disappointment.

1  mohkohnsepicgun 2019-03-21

Remember... you can avoid racebaiting bullshit by following simple steps like...

-never speaking to black people

-never hiring black people

-never allowing your children to befriend, play sports with, date or join clubs with black people

-similar to the above; never sending your kids to schools with higher percentages of black people nor allowing them to attend summer camps and the like with black kids.

-never do business with black people... do not use black people-owned companies.

-obviously, never ever, ever vote for a black person.

All these steps can reduce the risk of interraction with black people and therefore the chances of being dragged into some awful oppression-olympics bullshit. It also appears to be, by and large, what they want so don't feel bad about the defacto re-emergence of segregation because they brought it on themselves.

Mayocide enthusiasts: don't concern yourself that by following these rules you will be perpetuating the parasitic existence of the white race: simply follow a parrallel set of rules which replaces the words "black people" with "Asians" and "never" with "always".